


NeoNara (or, "call my name and i'll be there")

by Asterhythm



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Adoption, Alternate Universe - Music Festival, Alternate Universe - Rock Band, Beomgyu Has The Only Brain Cell In This One, Best Friends Choi Soobin & Choi Yeonjun, Borderline Personality Disorder, Choi Soobin Is Bad At Feelings, Cultural Appropriation Free, Culture Shock, Drinking, Drummer! Huening Kai, EDM Artist! Kang Taehyun, Emesis, Ex Girlfriend, Gay Man Of Romance Daniel Choi, Guitarist! Choi Beomgyu, Hatsune Miku - Freeform, Holt International Children's Services, Huening Kai Cannot Hold His Liquor, Huening Kai Is Horrible At Texting, I thought I was straight, Ice Skating, Implied Sexual Content, Inspired by Music, Kang Taehyun Is So Done, Love at First Sight, M/M, Mentions of Sex, Mutual Pining, New York City, New York State, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Part of the AsteRealm, Poor Life Choices, Presented By Asterhythm, Psychological Trauma, Related Music Available On AudioMack, Too Long For Its Own Damn Good, Waeng (Band), Walking on Starlight, no beta we die like men, off-screen violence, transgender side characters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-13
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-08 05:00:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 90,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26979973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Asterhythm/pseuds/Asterhythm
Summary: "do you remember the night we met?""you took my hand, we knew it was love at first sight""and we made a promise that night to be together forever"Soobin Choi is not a musician.He just happens to be the best friend of one -- Beomgyu Choi, lead guitarist of underground punk band Waeng. Together with his bassist Shelly and drummer Kai, Beomgyu and Waeng are playing at NeoNara, the hottest summer music festival to hit the Capital region in years. Soobin’s going to the festival to help the band out, and to hopefully score Waeng an interview with world renowned music reporter Daniel Choi.Soobin isn’t counting on stumbling upon an empty EDM set, played by a young man in a blue baseball cap who goes by the name of King Solomon. And not a single person is listening but Soobin.What starts as a lonely Friday morning turns into years of interactions, of hope and despair, of new music and discord. When school and travel and exes and visas threaten to tear him apart, Soobin finds King Solomon -- and, by extension, NeoNara -- at the center of it all. But King Solomon has his own secrets, and sooner or later, both will have to face the music...if they can even hear it anymore.
Relationships: Choi Soobin & Kang Taehyun, Choi Soobin/Kang Taehyun, Choi Yeonjun & Huening Kai, Choi Yeonjun/Huening Kai
Comments: 34
Kudos: 26
Collections: ST. TANGERINE recommends





	1. 2013: Friday, Day One

**Author's Note:**

> People really like this over at Wattpad, and AO3 needs BOTH more Taebin and Yeonkai, so here we go. A few housekeeping things before we get started (I am SO SORRY THIS IS LONG TL;DR SERIOUSLY JUST SKIP IT):
> 
> — The Wattpad version of this story has more “extras” than the one here. When you read it on Wattpad, you’ll get festival posters, graphics, press releases, and the like. Yeonjun runs a music blog, and his blog posts will be on Wattpad. With this version, I’m stripping it down to just the story and keeping it basic. I will, however, provide links when there is music that matches the chapter. (All pieces will be composed/covered by me and available on AudioMack for FREE.)
> 
> — I have a ‘policy’ listed on my Wattpad account that states the rules that I use for writing stories, including things like cultural appropriation (more on that in a moment). The rules state:
> 
> [No characters, real or fictional, under the age of consent will be depicted in any story on this account engaging in explicit adult activity. For K-Pop celebrities, this age extends to 21 in America to clear up any confusion with the age of consent/age rules in Korea. Underage characters might be implied to be engaging in such activity under consensual circumstances only with a closed door policy.]
> 
> So for those of you looking for smut, I apologize. This is not quite the place for it. 
> 
> We're definitely going to be talking about some hard things in this book. But my litmus test is that nothing ever gets worse than what can be shown on American terrestrial television. Remember Glee? Teen Wolf? Riverdale? All those teen drama shows that talk about things but don't show it? That's my goal here. While sex will be mentioned, it is all off-screen and there are no details. And while things might get hot between characters, nobody takes their clothes off. Ever. We're here to have fun, not degrade our boys.
> 
> As noted in the tags, this story takes place entirely in America. One of the Korean characters is fully an American citizen, adopted when they were younger by very well meaning but relatively stupid white people. This is NOT the only time I have written about this, though the first instance has yet to be published. That said, I recognize that all the research and expertise done by a White person does not make me an Own Voices writer. If you cannot read this story because I’m introducing this, that’s okay, and I respect that. Just do us all a favor and don’t blow up the comments about it. My mental health probably won’t survive. 
> 
> — That said, comments for now are limited to registered users. I still have a stalker. I obviously would appreciate it if you commented if you like this. Every fic I post can be a risk to my own safety, but I gather a bit more courage every time I do so.

" _Do you remember the night we met?”_

Soobin stops walking.

He _should_ be on his way to see Beomgyu and the others, but of _course_ he’s lost, and it’s his own damn fault. He’s just standing in the middle of a field of tents, as far as the eye can see. The taxi had dropped him off, and his own tent was now pitched in its proper spot. But now Soobin has to find his friend’s RV, and there are no RVs in sight. Beomgyu said it was just across the campground, and that there would be signs he could follow. But Soobin still has a Blackberry, the service is horrible up here, and there are no signs. 

_“You took my hand. We knew it was love at first sight.”_

Soobin runs a hand through his blue hair. This would be so less embarrassing if he hadn’t gotten here early just to _avoid_ something like this. In fact, while there’s tents set up everywhere, there’s nobody around at all. Just the faint trickle of a melody permeating the air. Perhaps someone is practicing their set. 

He takes a deep breath, then pulls the flier out of his backpack. _NeoNara Music Festival,_ it reads, giving basic information and then the map. There are three stages, spread out over the complex. Soobin can actually see the biggest state -- the Sperry Music Arena, he thinks it was called -- he can see the roof of that over the trees. “So if I’m standing here, and my tent is...that way...oh, I don’t remember where it was anymore.”

_“And we made a promise that night to be together forever.”_

Soobin frowns. At this rate, he will have stood in the field for so long that Beomgyu will have sent security to find him. He can’t have that. He’ll hear about it until the end of the festival if that happens. Soobin isn’t totally hopeless. Soobin conquered a city of eight million people in two years. He can do _this._ And doing _this_ means starting with what you have. At the moment, the only direction he feels comfortable going in is _wherever that music is coming from._ There have to be people making that music. Perhaps one of them knows the way to the RV village. 

So Soobin backtracks, just a bit, then walks through a few uninhabited camping sites until the tents break away. There’s a two-lane road here, unmarked, that is typically used as an access road but today marks where the campgrounds end. Soobin crosses the road and notices there’s a stage ahead, set up on the left side. Looks like that’s where the music is coming from; there’s someone on stage fiddling with some equipment. 

_Must be a sound check,_ Soobin wonders. He’s stuck doing those for Beomgyu all the time. Even though Soobin has never picked up an instrument, he _is_ a warm body, and so he’s often sat at the back of some dimly lit club, able to inform the sound board operators when Beomgyu’s guitar is a bit hot in the treble or when Kai’s drums constantly overpower _everything._ (Soobin blames that on Kai, not the band’s sound.) In return for his help, Soobin gets into all of Beomgyu’s shows for free. 

As Soobin wanders closer, over to where the stage is set up, he notices that there’s nobody else around -- no assistants, no volunteers, nothing. And he also notices that this probably isn’t a sound check. The boy on stage looks absorbed in whatever he’s playing, huge sound booth headphones fitted over a blue baseball cap. _An EDM set,_ Soobin wonders. _They booked people to play this early? Wow._

Soobin at this point is used to the NYC punk rock scene, as Beomgyu and his band have been picked to book various hipster venues in Brooklyn and Queens. He’s used to having Beomgyu on stage, singing and playing the guitar, with Shelly and Kai, his bandmates, behind him. This is a totally different atmosphere. This one person is creating all of this sound from one little machine. This is the song that beckoned to Soobin from across the campground.

_“I’m wanting more and more to be like you, forsaking all I have.”_

The DJ doesn’t look up at all when Soobin approaches the empty audience area. Soobin hangs back, unable to see too much from where he’s standing, and unfolds his map again. Circled around Saturday’s date is a message in Beomgyu’s handwriting: _All Access Stage, 3 PM._ Waeng isn’t a headliner, but they managed to get a good time slot and a good stage. This smaller stage, right by the festival entrance, has to be the Rising Stage, for smaller acts who don’t yet have a following, or have a small one.

And Soobin has to concur. Because, if this kid is actually playing a set, there is _nobody_ watching. 

Soobin finally determines that this _must_ be a performance, because nobody does a sound check for more than ten minutes. And it’s... _okay_ music. The mix sounds kind of funky, and the vocal that Soobin heard from across the campground sticks out like a sore thumb, like someone mixed the EQ all wrong. Compositionally, though, it’s solid, if _long._ Soobin has never been to an EDM set before. Is this how all EDM performers are?

_“I’m missing all those times with love at first sight. I’ll never forget the promise we made that night…”_

Then, the DJ looks up.

Bright brown eyes, _huge_ eyes that Soobin can see from fifty feet away, look up from the decks. They meet Soobin’s own eyes. And for a moment, Soobin swears the boy on stage can look straight through to his soul. His vision blurs at the edges. He can’t feel the grass under his boots anymore. Even the music sounds like someone oversaturated the reverb. It feels like a dream.

The DJ doesn’t look away, swiping at the deck, moving a fader to transition to another song. And then, he smiles at Soobin, then turns back to his music. 

It’s then that Soobin decides to stay. 

Fuck Beomgyu. He can wait.

The rest of the set is solid. It’s the same unremarkable mix, but Soobin likes some of the tracks and how they sound. This guy must _really_ be an amateur if his songs sound like they were mixed in Garageband, but Soobin can hear so much potential in the nuance, in the sudden key changes, in the mood that the DJ is trying to create. There is so much there, and if this artist has some time and maybe some better equipment, he could really be something. _No,_ Soobin corrects himself. _He’s already something. Or else I wouldn’t be standing here._

The DJ looks up a couple more times through his set, almost as if he’s checking to make sure Soobin is still there. Then, he finishes the set the best he can. There are a few flubs, and there’s one time where he misjudges the BPM and there’s an awkward jump from a slow to a fast rhythm. But overall, if this is his first gig, he’s doing okay. He showed up and he played. That’s more than all of the wannabe artists in their parents’ basements ever have done.

The bass fades away. The DJ doesn’t have a microphone, so he simply bows as a thank you. And Soobin does what he does best: he applauds. The DJ hears it, looks up again, then smiles, rows of pearly white teeth revealing themselves. He does an awkward dance, hands disappearing under his orange sweater as he looks away. Soobin chooses now to bridge the gap, to run up to the stage. Nobody else is around anyway. It’s not like anybody’s going to stop him.

He jogs up to the stage, leaning to the right of the DJ table that’s been set up. And the DJ who looked so powerful a few minutes ago now seems so much smaller. But his beautiful eyes are still there, and he laughs a little. He’s probably so nervous that someone actually came to his set. But Soobin did, and he’s here now. 

Soobin smiles. “Hi.”

He smiles back. “Hi.”

* * *

“Do you need to clean up your gear?” Soobin asks.

The DJ glances back and nods, and Soobin catches a familiar look in the DJ’s eyes. Beomgyu’s never had that look, but Soobin’s seen it on Kai and Shelly’s faces plenty of times. It’s that look of disappointment when nobody shows up for your gig, the embarrassed-to-the-point-of-mortified look that says _get me out of here._ Except in New York City, it very specifically means: _get my stuff torn down, get me a cab, get me home, and get me a drink._

And if Soobin was the only audience member, the least he can do is help clean up. He’s helped Beomgyu and Waeng a zillion times. He knows how to wind an XLR. 

“How about you unplug everything and give me your cables,” he says, hoisting himself onto stage. 

“That would be super helpful, actually. I had help that was gonna come, but she backed out at the last minute.” The DJ huffs, then turns to Soobin. “Name’s Terry, by the way.” And as Terry extends his hand for a handshake, Soobin is hit with a strange feeling, a wave of culture shock that he hasn’t felt since arriving at JFK two years ago. 

“You’re Korean,” he blurts out.

Terry blinks in confusion, and then, “Yeah, I guess.”

Soobin goes to say something else, but doesn’t. Terry looks familiar. _He looks like home._ It’s the same facial features that he’s used to seeing in Ansan. But Terry speaks and acts like an American. He shrugs it off the best he can. He has a million questions to ask, but now isn’t the time. Besides, they might not even be his questions to ask.

So, he shifts focus. “Okay, so, the cables.”

“Right.” Terry rips out cables at the speed of light, and Soobin grabs them as he goes. The cables already have Velcro attached to them, so Soobin makes a circle and lets the cable roll up, following where the copper wants to go. He lines up the Velcro and secures them, putting them in a row. 

Terry glances over and sees Soobin’s cord stack. “You’ve done this before.”

“Oh, I have a friend who’s playing on Saturday -- their band is. I do this kind of stuff for them all the time.” Soobin stacks the cords together. “Where do these go?”

“Just back to my RV.”

It jogs Soobin’s memory. “Oh -- you know where the RVs are? Because I actually -- the funny thing is -- I got here from the city, and I got lost, and I found your set, but I was actually looking for the RVs because my friends are there, and I need to find them, and --”

Soobin is interrupted by the music that is Terry’s laughter. “No, you’re okay. I just -- I guess I’m surprised that someone actually showed up.” He shrugs. “Like, who goes to a set at twelve o’clock in the afternoon on day one?”

“Apparently me.” They both laugh. “I’m Soobin, by the way.”

“Soobin.” Terry says the name with a short ĭ, instead of an _ee_ sound. Soobin forgives him for now. “Who are your friends that are playing? I don’t know anybody else here. I’m just here by myself.”

“Oh -- “ Soobin forms a plan. “Let’s get all of your gear back into your RV, and then we’ll meet up with them at theirs. If you don’t know anybody, you might as well meet them.”

For a moment, Terry almost says no. But then he relents. He’s earned himself a new friend in Soobin anyway. Maybe his set wasn’t a complete flop. “Okay, I guess.” And then he whips his double decks under his arm, reaching for the cables with the other. 

Soobin grabs them. “Nuh-uh, I got these. It’s my payment for you showing me the way to the RV campground.”

“Couldn’t you have just called your friend?” Terry asks as they walk off stage and down the steps to the grass, finally free from the embarrassment of having (nearly) no audience.

“Service is dead up here.”

“Who do you have? I have AT&T and it works fine.”

“Metro PCS?”

“Oh, you really are a city boy, then.” 

“You could tell that easy?”

“Bro, you mentioned it earlier. You’re also like right up on my ass, you can stand to walk a little slower. This ain’t Times Square. Just Troy.” And Soobin steps back, and Terry leads him away from the Rising Stage, across and past a small permanent building that houses bathrooms and an information stand. They banter as they walk, eventually settling on how Terry got started DJ-ing and the fact that he was actually _from_ the Capital area. “Yeah, I live like fifteen minutes from here, dude. We go here all the time for concerts and shit.”

“Is that how you got into playing NeoNara?”

“Probably. They were desperate for people, and I took the shittiest timeslot.” Past the building is a long line of food trucks, setting up for the weekend, and past _that_ is the camper village. Rows upon rows of RVs line the dirt ground, housing both performing acts and VIP festival goers who had their own trailer. “Okay, I’m slot 304. Give me a second.” 

Terry whips out a lanyard with keys on it and unlocks the side door. The RV is a plastic blue color and looks to be smaller than many of the others on the lot. Terry pulls the side door open, then hoists himself into the cab and looks back at Soobin. “You coming in or not?”

Soobin enters the side door and climbs into the RV. He’s never been in a camper like this before -- he’s never had to. To the right is the driver’s area, with space for a driver and a passenger. That part looks like a car. But in front of him is a booth like he’d see at a diner, which serves as eating space. Along the left is a very small kitchen, smaller even than his kitchen in Gramercy Park. Past that on the left are more doors, probably leading to closets and a very tiny bathroom, and then the edge of a queen size bed. 

Terry opens a drawer and puts the decks and the cords in the drawer, then does the same with his baseball cap. He closes the drawer. “There. That was simple. Well, what do you think? Pretty cool digs, huh? My parents have had this forever, so I just borrowed it.”

“Yeah, this seems all right.” Truth be told, Soobin doesn’t have anything to compare it to. 

“All right. Let’s get you to your friends, and then I can sit in here and question my existence until Saturday night.”

Soobin laughs. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Well, I’m sticking around for the Polaris Rider set, and then I’m going home. No reason to stay when I don’t have anywhere else to be. It’s not like King Solomon’s gonna have an encore show.” When Soobin gives Terry a weird look, he backtracks. “Oh -- that’s my DJ name. It’s stupid, isn’t it.”

“No, it’s not stupid. It’s just that you never announced it during your set. Nobody’s going to come see you if you don’t promote a little.”

“Well, no offense, I --” Terry looks away, then runs a hand through his dyed brown hair and sighs. 

Soobin takes the moment to talk. “Dude. Remember I hang with a band that plays in New York City a lot. And they’ve played so much that I’m used to hyping them up. That’s actually why I’m here. I got a city friend who’s got a press badge, so I’m gonna connect him with my friend’s band and get them some publicity. You’ve got to try, but you also have to make the effort to be seen.”

Terry sits in the booth. “Okay, fine, smarty pants. What would you have done differently today?”

“Well, I’m not a musician, and I’m used to punk rock shows. But first of all, you shouldn’t settle for the first time slot when nobody is even at the festival. My guess is everybody set up and went to Target or something to pick up snack foods and booze for the weekend. The next time they ask you to play, play a set in the afternoon, when you’ve got at least a chance of attracting a crowd. Then, you’ve got to get the word out ahead of time, like online. Find something exclusive that the fans can only do at the show, and promote that. For example, when Waeng was playing across Brooklyn -- that’s my friend’s band, yes, I know it’s a dumb name -- we gave out little booklets that were like passports, and one of the band members would sign it at every place we would play. And once they got a certain number of signatures, they’d get a free T-shirt. So something like that, where it’s like, _if you come see King Solomon at NeoNara, you’ll get this exclusive free swag item!_ Then gauge your reaction and figure out how many to make, and poof! you got people wearing your T-shirt all over the place. Heck, I’d wear your T-shirt, if you had one to give me.”

Terry is silent for a minute, and then shakes his head. “God, now I know you’re from the city. I’m surprised I could follow along, you were speaking too fast.”

“But you get what I mean? You’re actually really good, I think you know what you gotta work on. So quit your complaining, and work harder, and do better, and then come back next year and play a set.” Soobin puts his hand on Terry’s head. “King Solomon.”

Terry moves his head out of the way. “I will bite you.”

“Cool. I’m sure first aid would love to deal with that. Now, if you excuse me, I’m gonna go wander the RVs until I find my friends.” Soobin moves to exit the RV.

Terry gets up and follows. “I...might as well come with you, show you where the food booth is, too. VIPs and bands get access to buffet food all weekend long, and my guess is we can sneak you in.”

“Oh, really? Honestly, I had been planning on eating fair food all weekend.”

Terry glares at Soobin. “Who’s the idiot between us now? The one who won’t promote his own work, or the one who’s going to destroy his body with fried Oreos and butter on a stick?”

“...what’s butter on a stick?”

“Never mind. You don’t want to know.”

“But I --”

“NEVER MIND. This conversation is over. Where are your friends?”

Soobin whips out his Blackberry again. He has this information stored in his notes. “Lot 112.”

“Cool. I know where that is. Let’s go.” Terry practically drags Soobin out of his RV, then locks the door behind them. They walk together, tall Soobin with his blue hair and black combat boots behind tiny Terry and his orange sweater of doom. Lot 112 is two rows over; the RVs here are bigger than Terry’s. Soobin remembers that Beomgyu actually rented theirs for the weekend. The RV is huge, and Terry pushes Soobin towards the door on the side. Soobin steps up and knocks; he only has to knock twice before coming face to face with Beomgyu Choi.

“You’re late, bitch.”

From back in the RV, Soobin can hear a Traditional Kai Kamal Huening Squeal, and then, “Soobinie’s here!!!” Then Kai comes out of nowhere, nearly flinging himself past Beomgyu to get a Soobin hug. “You made it you made it you made it!”

Soobin does his best to catch Kai and fails, almost losing his balance until Kai leans back and restores his sense of gravity. “Sorry I’m late,” he says, making sure both he and Kai are stable on the ground.

Terry watches from three feet back. “Uh, who gave the baby caffeine?”

Kai’s attention goes from Soobin to Terry. “Oh, who’s this?”

Terry freezes.

“Oh, that’s the reason I’m late,” Soobin says. “I couldn’t find you guys, and so I listened to his set and he brought me here after. Sorry I took so long.”

Beomgyu huffs and steps out of the RV. Soobin recognizes Beomgyu’s shirt as that one Bohemian-inspired one he bought at Trash and Vaudeville, combined with khaki shorts and the same boots Soobin is wearing. The flower crown is a surprise, though -- Beomgyu and Kai have matching ones. “Shelly make your crowns?”

“Angel did. The girls went to the store to get more booze.” Angel is Shelly’s long-term girlfriend. Beomgyu claps Soobin on the back in a bro hug. “Glad to see Amtrak didn’t kill you.”

“Gee, thanks. ‘Gyu, this is Terry, literally just ran into him.”

Beomgyu shakes Terry’s hand. “I apologize for my friend. It seems I can’t take him anywhere.”

“Well, I accept your apology. I’ve only known him for fifteen minutes and he is rather clueless.” Both Terry and Beomgyu grin at Soobin, and Soobin wonders if he’s created a monster by introducing the two of them to each other. 

“Soob, we gotta go get checked in. Where you headed?”

“With you guys, if you want. I still technically need my badge.” Soobin turns to Terry. “You want to come with?”

“I really have nothing else better to do.” And so, Terry follows Soobin, who follows Beomgyu and Kai, as they walk across the camper village back to the central building. A stand is set up there with official check-in, as well as official NeoNara merchandise and bathrooms that are clean now, but will be out of commission by Sunday. 

“Who plays a noon timeslot on a Friday?” Beomgyu asks with a laugh when Terry mentions he’s also an artist at the festival.

“Shut up.”

“No, at least you played,” Kai says. “That’s something, right?”

“Yeah, Soob,” Beomgyu laughs, “how was his set?”

Soobin shrugs. “It was all right.”

“Do you think he deserved more than one person at his show?”

“Hey!” Terry yells in response.

Soobin looks back at Terry and smiles at him. “Yes. I do.” Then he just keeps walking, and it’s all Terry can do to keep up. Stupid long legs going at stupid New York street speed!

The building has a huge tent out front that is colored bright yellow, so it’s impossible to miss as long as you can see color. There are several people under the tent wearing matching neon yellow shirts that say _STAFF_ on them in big, bold black letters. One woman is head and shoulders above the rest, passing out papers and writing something on a clipboard. She catches the eye of the group. “Ahh, King Solomon!” she calls out to Terry, immediately remembering his name. “How’d it go, sweetie?”

Terry freezes _again_. 

“It went good!” Soobin calls out as all four -- Terry, Soobin, Beomgyu and Kai -- go up to the booth.

She wrinkles her nose. “I was talking to the artist, but I suppose you’ll do. Who are you? I don’t see your badge.”

“Oh, I haven’t checked in yet. I’m with the band, but I’m not part of them, so I have a normal badge.”

“Well, Jennie will get you your badge, she handles attendees. Step to the side, now. Who else do we have here? Another band checking in?”

“Come on over here,” the woman named Jennie says, waving Soobin over. “Let’s get you signed in. Welcome to NeoNara! Have you ever been to a music festival before?”

Soobin shakes his head. “First time.”

“Well, let’s get this situated. I need to see your ID…” Jennie pauses as Soobin hands her a South Korean passport, then hands over his Baruch College ID.

“Do you need my visa papers?

“No, this should do.” Jennie takes the college ID card and pulls Soobin’s file, handing him a plastic badge on a lanyard, red in color. “Since it’s our first year, we don’t have wristbands, so you’re stuck with this around your neck at all times. Just make sure you have it on you. Red badges cannot buy alcohol, just to let you know. And here’s your guidebook -- oh, _goddammit --_ and that should be it? Have any questions?”

Soobin shakes his head.

“Good, because I gotta go catch those kids.” Jennie rolls up her sleeves and marches after a group of white teenagers. “Young man, you get those feathers out of your hair this instant! You read the book. You either buy feathers from the approved Iroquois vendor on site, or they get thrown in the trash. Take it off.”

Soobin looks down at his badge and smiles. Now it really feels like the weekend was happening -- he had his badge, so he was official. Technically someone could have stopped him at Terry’s set and he could have gotten in trouble without his badge first...but since nobody was watching Terry’s set, Soobin had gotten a free show in.

“Okay, we’re all good to go,” Beomgyu says after getting two extra badges, one for Shelly and one for her girlfriend Angel. “We’re gonna go back and wait for the girls. There’s nothing we want to do tonight, so we’re gonna party!”

“Just make sure Kai doesn’t throw up again,” Soobin deadpans. His mind goes back to the last time they all got drunk in his dorm; maintenance had to be called in the morning to unclog the pipes, and Soobin had showered in Yeonjun’s dorm room instead. 

“Oh, no, I’ll make sure he’s okay and he drinks his grape juice as a chaser. Come along, Kai.” Beomgyu almost walks off, then turns back to Soobin and Terry. “What about you?”

Soobin pauses, not even realizing that he and Terry are already being referred to as a unit. _SoobinandTerry._ “Uh…”

“Oh, we were gonna go to the food tent,” Terry chimes in. “Get something more substantial than butter on a stick.”

“Oh, right.”

“You both have fun with that.” And they separate, Terry leading Soobin north past the line of food trucks still setting up. There’s a huge tent that has been set up past there, with security guarding the front.

“He’s with me,” Terry says, and the guard waves Soobin in just like that. There is plenty of seating at cafeteria-like seats, and there is no line yet for food. There isn’t much set out except hamburgers and hot dogs, so both boys grab hamburgers, set them up the way they want to, and get sodas as well. 

They sit in a corner away from the rest of the tent. “This is so much better than fair food,” Soobin says as he bites into his hamburger. “Do festivals always do stuff like this?”

“I don’t know. This is my first festival.”

“Ooh, mine, too! We don’t do this stuff where I come from.”

Terry eyeballs Soobin. “In New York City?”

“No, I mean --” Soobin pauses to swallow and take a drink of soda. Then, he starts fresh, like Terry knows _nothing._ “I was born in South Korea, in a place called Ansan. University is really competitive over there, so I came here for college. I go to school in New York City, I’ve been here two years. I want to use my translation skills someday, and I’m also studying international affairs, so I’d love to do something like that. I’m just...not sure what yet. So yeah, first festival in America, never really did anything like this in Korea.”

Terry’s mouth impolitely hung open. “So wait. You’re actually from _Korea_ Korea?”

Soobin nods. “I am.”

“Wow. I…” Terry blushes and looks away. There it is again, brushing up on that awkward question of _is Terry Korean or is he American or is he both._ Because it seems to Soobin that not even Terry has the answer.

And then, Soobin feels someone from behind cover his eyes. He panics for half a second, then laughs, because he knows _exactly who this is._ “Jjuni, give a man a break.”

Daniel Choi rubs his hands on Soobin’s shoulders. “Not my fault you didn’t pick up your phone.”

“Apparently Metro PCS doesn’t get service up here.” Soobin looks up at Daniel with a grin, lucky his best friend found him before he got lost again. “‘Sup.” 

Terry’s mouth gets wider as he recognizes who’s behind Soobin. “Wait -- you’re Daniel Choi! Like, _the_ Daniel Choi from the Shampoo Fairy blog!”

Daniel looks at Terry. “Oh, yeah, that’s me. But don’t take this the wrong way, I’m off the clock right now. Only my real friends get to know my real name.” He messes up Soobin’s blue hair. “Nice hair. You get it done before you leave?”

“Yeah.”

“That that Lunatik stuff?”

“Yeah, it set pretty well. Pretty sure I destroyed my bathroom, though. The RA was _not_ happy.”

Terry motions to get up from the table. “You guys look like you have a lot to catch up on, so I’m just gonna go back to my RV --”

“No, stay.” Soobin reaches across the table and grabs Terry’s shirt sleeve before he can leave. Even this early on, Soobin doesn’t want Terry to feel left out. “Jjuni -- Daniel, this is Terry, he played earlier. I caught his set when I first got in.”

“Ahh, an artist!” Daniel says with a smile. “I’m sorry for not introducing myself properly, then. You seem to know who I am, though.”

“I do.” Terry blushes, then shakes Daniel’s hand across the table. “Terry Rhodes. It’s nice to meet you. I read your blog all the time.” 

“That’s amazing. I’m glad you like it. And you can call me Daniel, unless you would prefer to call me Yeonjun.”

Terry pauses. The second name had come out of left field. “Uh…”

Daniel -- Yeonjun -- looks over at Soobin, then back at Terry. “You know. Is there something else I should be calling you? Another name?”

Terry stares at the table.

“Yeonjjuni,” Soobin says, flicking Yeonjun on the forehead. “His name is Terry, or King Solomon. Not everybody is special like you. I’m still Soobin, and my friend Beomgyu is still Beomgyu, and you don’t harass us about it.”

Yeonjun’s eyes widen at the mention of Soobin’s band friend. The topic has been sufficiently changed. “Oh, Beomgyu. Where’s he at? I thought you’d all be here together.”

Soobin rolls his eyes. “He’s still back at the RV. Something about waiting on more booze --” 

_“Look, I’m sorry my Korean parents didn’t love me, okay?”_

Both Yeonjun and Soobin jump. They turn toward Terry. He’s still staring at the table, and Soobin notices he’s _shaking._ “It’s just -- yeah, sure, I’ve got another name, but the people who gave it to me didn’t give a shit about me and sent me here instead. You wanna throw a fit about my name? Fine. Throw a fit about it. I don’t even know how to pronounce it.”

Terry reaches into his pocket, grabs his wallet, and _flings_ it at Soobin’s head. Yeonjun grabs the wallet before it can hit Soobin, then hands it to him. Soobin opens it up. Inside is a vertical driver’s license, Terry’s picture in the corner, the last name RHODES printed in tiny font at the top. But above that is a name, and it’s not Terry.

“Taehyun,” he says, out loud, letting the word slip off his tongue in his native Korean accent.

It’s so quick that ‘Terry’ doesn’t catch it. He looks back at Soobin. “Huh?”

“Taehyun. That’s how you pronounce it.” Soobin puts the wallet down. “I’m sorry, Terry. I didn’t mean for you to go off like that.”

Yeonjun slowly nods. “Me, too. I should have known better than to say something.”

Terry doesn’t know why he’s talking to these two near-strangers about this. He’s so embarrassed that he’s shaking, except Soobin just said his name, his _actual_ name, and Terry literally _just_ heard it for the first time. Soobin really _is_ Korean, and Daniel-Yeonjun seems to be Korean-American, and Terry has never seen people like him before. Ever. 

It almost feels like a gift.

“I...I never knew.” His voice is small when he speaks again. “I just don’t talk about it. I don’t have anybody to talk to about it.” He picks up his wallet and flips to his license again. “I always just go by Terry. It’s easier that way.”

“What part about it is easier?” Yeonjun asks. “Taehyun is your name, just like Yeonjun is mine. People can call us Daniel or Terry all we want, and it’s cool that our parents gave us names that make life easier for everybody else, but we have _real names._ We should use them.”

Terry nods, as if he’s understanding for the first time. He glances down at the license again. It blurs under tears that flood his eyes. “Okay,” he says, voice breaking, “so...I always get the _Tae_ part. That’s kind of self-explanatory. It’s the _hyun_ part that I can never figure out.”

Soobin wants to reach across the table, to grab Terry’s hand. He suddenly hates seeing Terry like this. He hates that he was indirectly the cause of it. 

“So that vowel, the _eo_ vowel, isn’t the same as a traditional American u,” Yeonjun says, taking over the conversation. Soobin’s only lived in America for two years; Yeonjun is well versed at this point in alternate-name dynamics. He takes the wallet back and points, showing Terry the _u_ in question. “It’s actually the same vowel as the _eo_ in my birth name. Y-E-O-N-J-U-N. Yeonjun. That _eo_ is the _u_ in _hyun.”_

Terry wipes away the few stray tears that have sprung up. “And how am I supposed to pronounce that?”

“Okay, you want me to be real with you? I asked one of my cousins one time, and he said he always remembers it this way: _eo_ as in _fuck._ Same vowel sound.”

“Fuck.” Terry rolls it over in his mind. “Fuck. Fuuuuuuuuck. Hyuuuuuuuuuun.” He giggles. Soobin decides it’s adorable.

“Oh, and pretend the _y_ isn’t there.” Yeonjun snaps his fingers. “Wait, I got it. What’s the car company?”

“Hyundai?” Soobin answers.

“Yeah, like that! So Tae, plus the _hyun_ in Hyundai, which sounds like _fuck.”_ Yeonjun hands Terry’s -- Taehyun’s -- wallet back to him. “There. Now you have your answer.”

And Terry stares in wonder at the license in front of him. His parents had never known how to pronounce it. They had always just called him Terry, had brought him in as a toddler as _one of the family._ And everybody else called him Terry, except for the school bullies who always wanted to know what his _real name_ was. Terry had never had an answer for them until now.

“Taehyun,” he whispers under his breath, then smiles. “Taehyun. I like it. I’m not used to it, though.” He clears away his face with his sleeve again.

“Well, it’s not like you need to switch immediately or something,” Yeonjun adds. “A lot of us have American names, like how I go by Daniel Choi on the Internet. But to all of my close family and friends, I’m Yeonjun. You can be the same way. You don’t have to stop being Terry. But now, you know a bit better at least where you came from, the name your original parents gave you. You don’t have to stop using one or the other. You can be both.”

Terry nods. “This is a lot to take in. I’m sorry. I didn’t know I’d be getting a new identity by coming to NeoNara.” 

“How about one more thing.” Yeonjun leans his head on his hands, and Soobin recognizes it’s Yeonjun’s _I’ve got an idea_ pose. “You’ve bared enough of your soul to me. How about I do something to make it up to you?”

“And what would that be?”

“You performed your first ever set earlier, right? How about I interview you for my blog? You can tell me about your process, and then I can get your SoundCloud, and I’ll post it. It’ll get you more listeners.”

Terry is shellshocked. “You -- you would _do that_ for me?”

Yeonjun grins. “What, like it’s hard?”

“I’m gonna refill our drinks,” Soobin says. “You work your magic, Daniel.” And he grabs the cups and walks away from the table so Yeonjun can make Terry feel more at ease. Once “Daniel Choi” has a potential interviewee in front of him, it’s just a matter of time before the walls crumble and he’s got a new post for his blog. Sure enough, when Soobin returns, Terry is smiling and talking with Yeonjun, and Yeonjun has his old school tape recorder out and is recording their conversation. Soobin hangs out on the fringes, then sets down the drinks when Yeonjun’s hand rests on the tape recorder -- it’s how he knows Yeonjun’s almost done.

“And that’s a wrap.” Yeonjun pushes _stop_ on the recorder, then looks up at Soobin, taking his orange soda. “I apologized for you, by the way.”

“For what?”

“For being rude about the whole _where are you from_ thing. You get so excited when we see people who look familiar, you jump to conclusions. Terry’s adopted by white people, and he’s lived in Albany his entire life. That’s just how it is.”

Soobin nods, then gives Terry a full-length bow. “I am very sorry. But I’m glad the record has been set straight. From now on, I won’t speak of it.”

There’s something in Terry’s eyes that’s a bit wistful as he takes the Sprite from Soobin. “I...it’s a touchy subject. We don’t talk about it in my house. My parents couldn’t have kids, so they got me instead. And they’re okay, and I love them, but I’ve always wondered…” He shakes his head and takes a long swig. “Forgive me, but I’ve been upstate so long, I’ve never met someone else Korean. I don’t even go into the city, I’ve maybe been there twice. I just don’t leave.”

“Sounds exciting,” Yeonjun says, in a voice that is dripping with sarcasm.

“Yeah, it’s _so_ great. People always assume I’m Chinese. It’s _the worst._ So it’s...kind of nice to be looked at and have someone immediately go, _oh, you’re from Korea!_ I don’t even know what Korea looks like.”

“I can tell you, if you want,” Soobin says.

Terry shakes his head. “Not now, not now...but...it’s kind of nice to know that someone knows, you know?” He laughs. “That made no sense.”

“So, Terry Rhodes, King Solomon, are you satisfied with how your interview went?” Soobin asks, diverting the conversation again.

“I am. Daniel Choi -- if I can call you that -- you were a really good interviewer. It was really easy and not stressful at all.” Terry then blushes. “Oh, and...you can call me either Terry or Taehyun, if you want. I don’t mind. Maybe -- maybe I should start getting used to it. Hearing my...real name.”

They talk for a little bit longer. Terry-Taehyun learns that Soobin and Yeonjun go to the same college; that Soobin is twenty years old and is a junior, while Yeonjun is in his last year; that they met through their school’s East Asian society for students; and that they’ve lived in the same dorm for the past two years. In return, they learn that Terry just graduated from high school in the area and is planning on taking a gap year to earn some money for college. “You’ll have to meet Beomgyu and the others, too,” Soobin tells Terry. 

Terry nods as Yeonjun pulls his flyer out again. “You guys going to anything tonight?”

Soobin shakes his head. “I don’t have plans. I was kind of hoping I could hang out with Beomgyu in his RV, but since Shelly and Angel were getting more booze, I’m guessing they’re all getting _wasted_ tonight. Which is great, because I’ll have to wake them up in time for their show tomorrow. I wish I got paid for this roadie gig.”

“You should be,” Terry says. “You were a great help earlier for me.”

Soobin blushes.

“Okay.” Yeonjun’s eyes scan over the list again. “I have to stop by Spit Fire’s set because her company’s paying me to do an interview with her. It won’t be on my blog, but it’ll be a special feature on their site. What about you?”

Soobin looks over the list, then, “Taehyun, was there anything you wanted to do? ...Taehyun?”

Terry jolts to action. “Oh -- I was going to go to Polaris Rider Saturday night, but other than that I’m open. Wait, when are you friends playing?”

Soobin pointed to the list. “Saturday at 3, on the All Access stage.”

Terry grins. “Then I gotta go to that too, right? I don’t know a lot about punk rock, but I want to support your friends. Let’s see...nobody really strikes me as familiar, sadly. Who’s Merm4id? They’re the other big name tonight other than Spit Fire.”

“They’re a DJ group,” Yeonjun says. “It’s one girl running the turntables, and three other girls who sing. They’re _huge_ celebrities in Japan. I gotta warn you, though...their show has quite the tropical vibe to it. Those girls are in itty bitty jean shorts that I swear are gonna fall off one of those days.” He makes a face. “Not interested!!”

“Oh, I can go watch, then,” Terry says. “It’ll be good research. Maybe I can see what equipment she’s using and stuff. Soobin, do you want to come with?”

“Might as well,” Soobin says with a smile. “My other alternative is getting drunk off my ass, and thanks, but no thanks. Their set is at ten, so we got some time to kill.”

“Well, if you don’t want to watch anything else,” Terry says, “you could come back to my RV and we could...hang out. I don’t have much to do, but I’m also not getting drunk tonight, so that’s a plus.”

“I brought a deck of cards.”

“That’s more than I brought. We could play the most awesome games of Go Fish ever.” They both laugh. 

“You two are incredibly lame,” Yeonjun bemoans. “I’m gonna go to Sperry and see if I can get a hold of Spit Fire before her set. If I can, I’ll catch up with you losers at Merm4id. Ciao.” And he walks off, tape recorder in tow.

“Bye, Yeonjjuniiiiiiiie,” Soobin calls out, dragging out Yeonjun’s name. He watches Yeonjun wince and laughs at the reaction. “He does this every time.”

Terry smiles. “So, the cards are back at your tent?”

“Oh, yeah.” 

“You don’t know the way, do you.”

“...nope.”

“You need me to show you?”

“Always.”

They take their soda pops with them and cross the food tent, heading back across the festival. There are even _more_ people here now, and Soobin finds himself having to avoid groups of people passing him. There is a long line of kids waiting to get registered, and Terry leads him through the line. At this point, Soobin can see the Rising Stage that Terry performed at in front of him, so he at least _kind of_ knows where he is. He wouldn’t be anywhere at all without this angel in the orange sweater leading him, though. 

Once they’re away from the crowds, Soobin notices that Terry is muttering something under his breath as he walks. He stops, and Terry stops, looking back at him. 

“What’cha saying?”

“Oh.” Terry’s face lights up like a Christmas tree. “I was just...practicing my name.”

“Taehyun.” Soobin grins.

Taehyun feels a little bit like he wants to die when Soobin says it, but he doesn’t want to forget how it sounds. So he nods. “Taehyun.”

“Should I use a suffix? Like, in Korea we use those all --”

“Just. Taehyun. For the time, please. Don’t overload me with more information than I already got, I literally just learned my name today, Soo-BEAN.”

Soobin laughs. “I’ll make sure to go easy on you, Taehyun.”

* * *

Over the next few hours, NeoNara _transforms._

Teenagers and young adults from all over Upstate New York congregate in the area. People come from as far away as Boston, bringing tents and RVs, hoping for a chance to see some music acts and to celebrate the end of summer. By the afternoon, when the _real_ music starts, there are thousands upon thousands of people. Every tent space is occupied, with festival-goers sitting in lawn chairs, blowing bubbles and fixing their flower crowns. There is beer everywhere, and even though the staff has given every underage person a different colored badge, the rules don’t exist at the campsites. The same goes for drugs, legal and illegal, but those change hands in unseen places and aren’t spoken of. 

The food vendors start to pick up service, as people start to get hungry. Then, the ride vendors arrive from the Great New York State Fair. Before long, there is a midway set up next to the food vendors, not far from the VIP food tent. There is noise _everywhere_ as the Friday night acts play against the _whirrrrrrrrr_ ing of the fair rides and the chatter of all of the festival goers. By six PM, the campground officially stops letting people in, and proof of ticket purchase is required to arrive. NeoNara is officially _happening._

Thankfully, Soobin and Terry -- now somehow Taehyun -- miss most of the mess. They head to Soobin’s lonely little tent, where Soobin makes sure he’s good for the rest of the night, filling the pockets on his cargo shorts and making sure his blue _Waeng_ t-shirt doesn’t have any stains on it from earlier. Then, they head back to Taehyun’s RV, where they talk for hours and play cards. 

They first play Go Fish, and when they tire of that, Taehyun teaches Soobin how to play Slapjack, although he suddenly wishes he _hadn’t._ It makes more sense for four people to be sitting around a table, slamming their hands upon said table when a jack card was drawn. When it’s just him and Soobin, he finds his hand under Soobin’s a lot, and he _hates_ how his heart rate keeps increasing. Over time, the game gets more physical, to the point where Taehyun keeps leaning over the booth trying to rip the jack card out of Soobin’s fingers. 

“I had it first!”

“You did not! You did not! I had it first!” Soobin pushes Taehyun’s forehead with his other hand, and the smaller man sits back down with a pout. 

“Not fair.”

“All is fair in love, war, and card games.” Soobin pauses, then picks up his phone. It is _ringing._ “Jjuni?”

“Hey, you have service now!” Yeonjun’s voice chirps over the other line. “I just got out of my interview. You want to go to the show together?”

“Oh, yeah. Should we grab food first?”

“Yeah, we can, but I just ate. Spit Fire is performing now, and Merm4id starts at 10. So you got a little bit.”

“Cool. Meet you at the tent?”

“Yeah.”

“ _Arasso.”_ Soobin hangs up, then checks his phone just as the one bar of service disappears and he’s roaming again. “I think I only get service right here, by this window. It’s weird.”

Taehyun shakes his head. “Whatever works, man. Everybody already knows you’re off grid for the weekend. So, food?”

“Yeah. Wait. Are you seriously gonna wear that orange sweater this entire weekend?”

“Uh...yeah?”

“Aren’t you hot in that?”

Taehyun _almost_ answers in a sarcastic way, but forces the thought aside. “Yes, it is a little warm.”

“Then take it off.”

 _Ugh._ Does Soobin not know he’s speaking English? “What? Why?”

“Because it’s hot out, and you’re just gonna go sweat through it at the show and not want to wear it anyway. Just leave it here.”

“Aargh. Fine.” And Taehyun lifts the sweatshirt above his head. He grabs the white t-shirt underneath a little too late for Soobin’s liking. The sweatshirt doesn’t ride up all the way, but it does show off Taehyun’s stomach before he pulls the shirt back down. Soobin finds himself staring, the image of Taehyun’s bare belly button now permanently etched into his memory. 

Then, Taehyun’s big eyes are looking up at Soobin again. He is once again decent for public consumption. “Yes?”

“Oh -- food.” 

They both grab their badges, then leave Taehyun’s RV and head to the food tent. This time, they have to make their way through crowds of people trying to get food at the vendors, but once they reach the tent, their badges get them in and away. There are more people here now than before, but more people means more food options. Sure enough, there is fried chicken, and Soobin gets two plates full. Yeonjun catches up with them, shoving an ice cream cone down his throat and grabbing water bottles for everybody. He’s somehow changed from official music reporter Daniel Choi to music festival goer Yeonjun, complete with pink sunglasses, a yellow crop top, and a _ridiculous_ amount of cheap kid’s beaded necklaces.

After food, Yeonjun and Taehyun lead Soobin out the other side of the food tent and to the Sperry Music Arena. The open air pavilion has a huge stage set up, with plenty of room for the performers to do their thing. A small runway has been assembled, in case one of the artists wants to stand out in the crowd a bit. There is a massive platform already constructed, with a screen flashing the _NeoNara_ logo. Taehyun can see that there are DJ decks and equipment already plugged in, but he can’t see what model they are or who made them. 

He frowns. He wishes he knew. It would be good if he could use this as research, maybe upgrade from his current equipment. But a lot of the crowd has filled in, and Taehyun has never liked being _right_ in the front anyway. This way, he can actually see who’s playing instead of being shoved around by teenagers with drinks they’re not supposed to have.

Staff members are going around, checking badges, taking drinks from underage patrons, making sure there are no signs of illegal drug activity, and -- surprisingly -- passing out plastic single-colored leis. “These are for the show tonight,” one of the staff members told Yeonjun, giving him six or seven. “Can you help pass these out, Danny?”

Yeonjun wanted to kill the staff member. “Daniel, please, and yeah, sure.” He takes the leis, then drapes a blue lei over Taehyun’s head as the staff members moves on. 

“There. You just got lei’d.”

Taehyun glares at Yeonjun. “Did you know that these leis are plastic and a horrible cultural appropriation of an actual Hawai’ian garland?”

“Yeah, and that’s why they don’t let realistic ones into the festival. Only these plastic cheap looking ones, like, you can’t even tell that’s supposed to be a flower.” Yeonjun hands Taehyun a pink lei. “Okay, go lei him.”

The way Yeonjun says it has Taehyun nearly stammering. “W-- _what?”_

“You know. With the lei.” Yeonjun winks and turns Taehyun around, toward Soobin. “Give it to him.”

“Oh.” Taehyun takes a deep breath, tells himself to stop taking this so seriously, and taps Soobin on the shoulder. When Soobin turns, Taehyun reaches up _high_ and puts the lei around Soobin’s neck. “There. Now you have been lei’d, too.”

Thankfully Choi Soobin’s knowledge of English puns is rather limited -- that or he didn’t hear Taehyun right. “Oh, thank you,” he says with a smile.

Taehyun glares daggers at Yeonjun. How did this get to be the night of horrible puns?

But then Yeonjun pulls out two massive lightsticks and turns them on, pushing the buttons on the side and changing them to a yellow color. The entire stage lights up yellow, and Taehyun finds himself surrounded on all sides by people. Yeonjun disappears somewhere nearby, probably giving himself enough space to dance with his lightsticks so he doesn’t hit somebody. But Soobin is right next to him.

“Why are we so far back?” Soobin asks.

“Because if we get closer, it will be loud, and I won’t be able to hear you, and --”

“So what?” Soobin takes Taehyun’s hand. “I’ll still be here.”

Taehyun finds himself staring at Soobin, and it’s at that point that the stage decides to _erupt._ The PA system had been playing standard classics by Avicii and David Guetta to fill the air before the actual set started. But now, with the sun completely down, the stars above their heads, and the lights turning on, it feels like something is about to _happen._

The lights go down, and the strobes flicker in the background. The name _Merm4id_ flashes on the platform screen, as well as on the two screens on either side of the decks. Then, a person in a dress appears, with long hair, standing in front of the LED screen. She holds up her hand, almost in a suggestive pose. 

The bass starts to escalate.

Taehyun notices there is another girl with much shorter hair standing on the platform, huge headphones on. She had a megaphone in her hands. “NeoNara!” she yells, and the crowd goes wild. It’s so loud, it starts to make Taehyun’s ears ring. “We are Merm4id! Let’s go!”

The music properly starts. The bass is _loud,_ thumping, and everybody starts to jump in unison. Taehyun turns to Soobin, in his blue Waeng t-shirt and pink lei, and notices _he’s_ jumping, too. So he gives in and starts jumping as well. He’s nowhere near as tall as Soobin, but he can still see over the crowd, and he notices there are two more girls on stage now. Yeonjun wasn’t lying. These girls are dressed in _nothing._ Jean shorts cover what’s barely legal, with frills and lace covering black tops. The girl in the middle looks like she’s having too much fun, and then she puts the microphone to her mouth and begins to sing.

_Our nails glitter, gloss sparkling with the rhythm_

_[STAND BY OK!]_

_The tension rises with the zipper, a bold silhouette_

_[SETTING OK!]_

_A trendy chart check, a trendy hard chick, dig the sound_

_[SELECTION OK!]_

_The woofer sounds like that, the squawker is shaking, the tweeter sticks_

_[HIGH AND LOW]_

Everything is _perfection._ The lights flicker at just the right times. The girls in front sing and dance in unison. The DJ, up on her stand, keeps the song going. Taehyun notices her actively changing the feeders and pressing on a launchpad. He catches her head bobbing along to the beat before he gets shoved from behind, bumping into the people in front of him.

 _There are too many people here._ For a moment, the sound tilts, like Taehyun has his fingers in his ears. But then he feels someone grab him by the arm, and he’s pulled back to reality. Soobin is holding onto him. “You okay?” he all but mouths.

Taehyun nods.

Soobin points toward the front.

Taehyun knows he’s not going to win that argument, so he relents. 

Soobin pulls Taehyun through the crowd, stopping about ten yards from the stage. The sound is _explosive_ here, and everything rattles just a bit. Taehyun can’t hear anything but the music, but when he turns to Soobin, he notices the blue haired man is _completely starstruck._ He’s really into it. His eyes haven’t left the stage the entire time. 

Did he look at Taehyun like that, when he was playing as King Solomon?

Or is he looking at the girls?

_JUMPING JUMPING JUMPING, jump off the floor!_

_MOVING MOVING MOVING KEEPING don’t stop_

_DANCING DANCING DANCING everybody go up_

_SHAKING SINGING SHOUTING it’s going to get crazy_

_I’ll fascinate you to your limits in this LIVE_

Soobin whirls around, spinning in a circle, oblivious to everybody around him. He may have never been to a music festival, but he’s been at plenty of parties before, and he is just enough of a New Yorker to not care what anybody thinks. He catches a flash of glow sticks, reaching up and grabbing some as they fly through the air. When he stops spinning, he sees he has two, an orange and a green one. He hands the orange one to Taehyun, because it reminds him of that sweater he had been wearing.

Taehyun takes it with a smile. He might not be able to communicate with Soobin right now. But, in his own way, he _is_ communicating. There’s something about the way Soobin’s eyes look, the smile on his face, that tells Taehyun more than words can. And right now, all that Taehyun is understanding is, _all I want is to be right here, right now, with you._

The song changes to something a bit sexier. Taehyun loses the stage as more people scream the lyrics along with the girls. This must be a cover of some famous song or something.

_And though I know the world of real emotion has surrounded me_

_I won't give into it_

_Now I know, that forward is the only way my heart can go_

_I hear your voice calling out to me_

_You'll never be alone_

Soobin says something to him, but Taehyun can’t understand it and shakes it off. Soobin just laughs in return, then takes Taehyun’s hands. Taehyun has just enough time to shove the glowstick in his pocket before Soobin pulls him sideways again, toward an area that has been blocked off by people. “IT’S SHOWTIME!” Taehyun just barely hears Soobin yell before he realizes _Soobin has brought him to a dance circle._ There are twenty rave kids in a circle, and there’s somebody in the middle doing the caterpillar on top of some cardboard.

“Oh, you are _not making me get in there,”_ Taehyun mutters to nobody as Soobin jumps right into the dance circle. But instead of breakdancing, Soobin does some hip roll and then _lays down on the cardboard._ He starts kicking the air, fists clenched, and then slowly moves in a circle on his back. He pauses for a moment, acts like he’s riding a bike, then stretches his legs out and rolls across the cardboard again before standing up.

It reminds Taehyun of a child having a tantrum in a ShopRite.

“How was that?” Soobin asks with a smile. Or, at least, Taehyun _thinks_ Soobin asks that. He’s too embarrassed and it’s too loud to be sure.

But at least it’s comfortable here in the dance circle, and Soobin doesn’t force him out into the center, so Taehyun joins in and claps and sways along with the crowd. There are a few kids that are really killing it, one girl who knows some ballet moves, and Soobin goes in a couple more times to disco dance with strangers. Taehyun meanwhile sticks to the fringe, next to a girl with blue hair and a black guy with purple dreads. The black guy taps on his shoulder, and when Taehyun turns toward him, he holds out his hand. 

For a split second, Taehyun wonders if he has drugs. His parents would _kill_ him if they knew he had tripped out on something while here; after all, he’s supposed to be a performer, not a regular festival goer. But when Taehyun holds out his hands, the man drops something beaded into them instead. The man starts dancing as Taehyun looks at what appears to be a bracelet, made with children’s beads. There are letters on some of the beads, spelling out _N-E-O-N-A-R-A._ The bracelet fits perfectly on his wrist.

The music wafts over his ears again, bass still pumping, yellow lights behind him. It’s a mix of English and some other language he can’t place.

_Gamble, you gotta chance to make a rumble!_

_A last minute stage, oh yeah!_

_Gamble, you gotta dive into a scramble!_

_Don’t hesitate, even for a second!_

_Check it out, come on!_

This for sure beats the prom that Taehyun had just been at. _Any school dance is tamer than this._ There, it felt like you had to dance a certain way and behave in front of everybody’s parents. But here, there were no parents. If he wanted to walk up and kiss a random girl, he could...not that he would, that would be asking for disaster. 

_He could kiss Soobin._

And it’s then that the dance circle turns into a conga line, and Soobin pulls Taehyun in, and Taehyun puts his hands on Soobin’s shoulders so he doesn’t get lost. The black guy who gave Taehyun the bracelet puts his own hands on Taehyun’s shoulders, so Taehyun feels just a little bit safe. He follows Soobin, follows the bouncing blue hair as they dance forward, no rhyme or reason other than to _follow Soobin._

The conga line breaks as the very last song finishes up, and Soobin turns and gives Taehyun a hug without warning. It’s not just a quick bro-hug, or a slap on the back. No, Soobin’s entire body presses against Taehyun, and his arms wrap around Taehyun’s waist, and for a split second, Taehyun wonders if this is the most comfortable place to be in the entire world. But then it’s over, and Soobin pulls back, and he hugs the blue haired girl and the black guy the same way, and Taehyun is still left dazed and confused standing on the grass.

“Thank you, everybody!” the girls scream out in unison. The crowd’s roar in response is deafening. Taehyun finds himself smiling, maybe properly for the first time this weekend. Here he had been so concerned about not finding anybody to hang out with, and sitting in his camper feeling lonely all weekend. But now he had friends, and he had an interview with Daniel Choi.

_Maybe something could happen of this._

“Can you walk me back to my tent?” Soobin asks, and Taehyun nods. But he is silent the entire time they walk, stuck in his head while Soobin rambles on and says goodbye to their new nameless friends. When Taehyun shoves his hands in his pockets, he finds the orange glowstick still there. 

“Taehyun. Terry. Hey, Terry.”

“Yeah?”

“You okay? You’re, like, super quiet, man.”

Taehyun looks down at his glowstick. “I don’t know, man, this weekend is turning out differently than I thought it would.”

“Isn’t that a good thing? You were gonna just spend it all hanging out in the camper, weren’t you? What, are you like missing a girlfriend or something?”

“No, it’s not that!” Taehyun yells with a blush. “I just...had an entire friend group that was gonna come up. And then it ended up being their move-in week in college, so they’re all doing that instead. And I’m stuck here.”

“You are not stuck here.” Soobin takes Taehyun’s hands again, standing in the middle of everything, crowds and traffic patterns forgotten. “You are at a music festival. You’re going to go back to your camper, and you’re going to fall asleep, and then tomorrow you’re going to come watch Waeng play. And then after that, you’ve got someone you wanted to see, right?”

Taehyun nods. “Polaris Rider.”

“And we can go see that, too. Life isn’t just gonna happen to you, Terry. You’ve got to take the initiative. And maybe you’ve never done that before.” He sticks his tongue out. “I should know. I actually don’t like these crowds or anything. But then I became best friends with Yeonjun, and he just jumps into everything and shoves me out into places and makes me do things. And he listens if I really don’t want to do it, but more often than not, I end up having a good time. You kind of remind me of me when I first moved to New York City. All shy and stuff.”

“I mean,” Taehyun shrugs, “I haven’t ever lived outside of Albany. I’ve just always been...here.”

“Exactly. If you want more than that, it’s up to you.” Soobin ruffles his hair again. “Now, get me to my tent so I can sleep. I’m gonna have to wake up my band in the morning!”

Taehyun leads Soobin back through the tents, using his iPhone 4 as a flashlight. It takes them a few tries, but they finally find it, all set up just as Soobin had left it. Soobin bids Taehyun a quick goodnight -- no more hugs or anything -- just the promise that he will see Taehyun again in the morning. And then, Taehyun is left to walk alone back to his camper.

He gets to camping spot 304 and unlocks the camper, climbing in and shutting and locking the door again. When he turns on the lights, he feels alone...for a brief second. And then, the memories of Soobin, playing cards with him earlier, flood into his mind. _He really isn’t alone here._ Taehyun’s mom -- Terry’s mom?? -- is wrong. She had advised against him coming down without his friends, said he would be lonely and not meet anybody. But Taehyun has Soobin. Soobin is his friend.

_...is Soobin a friend?_

Taehyun shakes his head. Guys don’t kiss other guys. It is just another misguided thought, just like his teachers and his church leaders always said. His parents have never said anything about it, though. They have always said that being gay was a decision, and if you make that decision, you have to stick with it. They have never made any mention of what would happen if Terry Rhodes, their son, came out as gay. And besides, it isn’t like Taehyun _is_ gay. He has dated plenty of girls in high school. He just...hasn’t acted on the crushes he has had on guys. 

Just like he isn’t going to act on this crush he has on Soobin now.

“For crying out loud, Terry,” he lectures himself. “You have known this man for less than twenty four hours, and you’re already imagining what it might be like to live in sin with him. Aargh. Not that I’d mind, but...I’d probably be kicked out of church, and my parents would be mad at me…” 

He draws the curtains all around the camper, then strips off his sweaty rave clothes, putting the children’s bracelet and the glowstick on the booth table. Since Taehyun has a water hookup, he takes a quick sponge bath to rid himself of the stickiness and the sweat from Merm4id’s set. Then, he throws on a fresh t-shirt and some lounge pants, grabs a granola bar from the stash of snacks he had brought, turns off the lights, and goes to the back of the camper.

The queen size bed takes up the entirety of the back and is all made up. In a different world, Taehyun would probably be sharing this with three other people, while others sleep on the floor, in the booth, and in the twin size bed above the driver’s seat. But now, he is all alone, with only his thoughts to entertain him for the rest of the night. 

“Well,” he says, plugging his phone in, “hopefully I’ll be so tired from the dance that I’ll just fall asleep quickly.”

He does not fall asleep quickly. The day’s events go in circles around Taehyun’s brain. _He wasn’t supposed to have anybody go to his set._ He was just supposed to play it, be done with it, and let King Solomon disappear, never to be heard of again. But Soobin had heard it, and now Soobin has always been there, talking with him, playing cards with him, eating with him at the buffet, _getting him an interview with Daniel Choi --_ like, who does that? 

And then there was just the way Soobin _looks._ He seems like the quiet, shy type, but he still exudes a subtle confidence that makes it possible for him to do things like dance in the middle of a circle on cardboard. Soobin is somebody who knows exactly who he is and what he wants out of life. Taehyun wishes he knew what he is doing with his life. Up until today, he didn’t even know how to pronounce his name. But now he does, and it’s all thanks to Soobin and those beautiful eyes of his, and those dimples when he smiles, and his cute teeth that remind Taehyun of a bunny --

“I should have brought NyQuil,” Taehyun bemoans as he throws the sheets over his head. “I’m never going to sleep. I need for these thoughts to go away. God, just let me get through this weekend, and I swear, I’ll never look at another man like that again. Let me sleep.”

But when Taehyun tries to fall asleep, he can’t. All he can think of is Soobin, saying his _real_ name over and over and _over_ again. Soobin and his oddly dyed blue hair, the way his eyes scrunch up when he smiles, the little kindnesses he does, his _stupid_ dimples. God. Why did God have to bless Soobin with dimples? And he’s _so_ tall, Taehyun could stand right next to him and Soobin could lean his chin on Taehyun’s head, and Taehyun would fit _perfectly._

“Taehyun,” he whispers, in the silence of the RV where nobody can hear him. “Yes, Soobin, my name is Taehyun. Oh, you want to steal it off my lips? Okay, I’ll let you.” And he giggles to himself, and he accepts that there will be no sleep tonight, and he lets himself imagine what it would be like to have Soobin kiss him. He runs through a zillion scenarios: in the food tent; while playing his set; at a show; maybe in the RV. The first scenarios are soft, a quick kiss stolen behind curtains or in the wings backstage, breathless, airy. The later it gets, the harder the scenarios get, and Taehyun finds himself blushing as fake-Soobin holds him close in his mind, fingers brushing across his waist, moaning into the nonexistent kiss. Then, he shakes his head and imagines it all over again.

“God, just let me have this one night...I promise I won’t tell him anything. I promise I’ll be good, for you, and for my parents, and...just let me live in my fantasy for now, please. Soobin Choi. _Oh, Soobin Choi, you are trouble.”_

__


	2. 2013: Saturday, Day Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This thing is seriously LONG, so make yourself your favorite drink and sit down. (Part 4 on Wattpad was over 10K ALONE. These boys, I swear.)
> 
> Holler at me if I wrote something wrong in later chapters. I think I've diverted enough so that it's not appropriation, but if you're offended, I need to find a way to change it. (It's VERY hard to get something cleared for appropriation in India during Diwali.)

Soobin wakes up to the sounds of screaming and then someone cursing _very loudly._

He’s used to falling asleep with noise outside. There’s always something happening outside the Baruch College dorms, either drunk college students or taxis dropping people off or police sirens. Soobin even spent two months waking up to a sledgehammer in front of his window; the city had been doing some underground utility work for a while. This is the first time in a while that he’s been awoken by somebody’s voice, and as he stares at the top of the blue tent, he remembers where he is.

He first thinks of NeoNara.

He then thinks of Taehyun.

The first image he gets of Taehyun is of him smiling, probably immediately after he won a game of Go Fish back at his RV. The second is of him staring at Soobin, during the Merm4id set the previous night, right after Soobin had danced on cardboard for the first time. The third is of -- Soobin rubs his eyes. He needs to stop thinking of Taehyun. He has a job to do today. He has to wake himself up, then go make sure Beomgyu and the rest of Waeng are coherent, then try to get them to talk to Yeonjun before their set at three. If Taehyun is somehow part of that, then fine, but he shouldn’t be seeking him out.

And yet, as Soobin throws his blue Waeng t-shirt back on and puts on a new pair of shorts, all he can think about is going back to Taehyun’s blue RV. Asking him if he wants to shadow for the day again. He has nothing better to do, right? 

“Ugh,” he says, running both fingers through his greasy blue hair. He’s thankful he showered Friday morning before leaving the city; there will be no showers until he returns, unless Beomgyu somehow has the shower in his RV hooked up. Or he could see if Taehyun has his -- _and there he goes again,_ thinking about this brown haired wide eyed stranger who didn’t even know he was from Korea. Terry Rhodes, he had said his name was? 

“Aargh.” Soobin realizes he needs to pee, so he does what Yeonjun said he should do: he opens the back tent flap and goes for it, unseen by anybody else around. And it’s mid-relief that Soobin _realizes_ something.

Soobin has lived in Ansan his entire life. As the youngest of three siblings, he always followed in his brother and sister’s footsteps. His sister has had the same boyfriend since middle school, and they see each other every once in a blue moon, when they aren’t busy with school and studies. Soobin’s parents had arranged his brother’s marriage, which made sense since he was too busy to meet anybody. Considering that Soobin was studying abroad, he had figured his parents would do the same for him. Too busy to meet a girl, he would take whoever they thought was best.

And then Soobin met Yeonjun -- or rather, Soobin met Daniel Choi, the Gayest Korean Man in Gramercy Park.

The first time Soobin had met Yeonjun, it had been at orientation. They had recognized each other as Korean immediately and had chatted in the language -- Yeonjun was far from fluent, but he had enough grasp of the language to speak casually with Soobin. And the _second_ time Soobin had met Yeonjun, it had been at a campus party and Yeonjun had been shoved in a corner, some other guy’s lips on his. While Soobin had been too nervous to ask Yeonjun about it then, Yeonjun had casually brought it up in conversation. So Soobin, who had never heard of a relationship outside of a man and a woman, learned as much gay history as he could in the span of a night.

And he had always chalked it up to Yeonjun being Yeonjun. After all, Yeonjun kisses any boy he likes. Soobin has never had any romantic interest in anybody.

_Until now._

_Was_ this romantic interest? Soobin’s closest romantic encounters have always been the romantic dramas he has watched with his sister, like _To The Beautiful You._ In the drama, Eungyeol thought he was falling in love with a man, Jaehee, but Jaehee turned out to be a girl, attending the mens-only school to fulfill her track and field dreams. As far as Soobin can tell, Taehyun is very much a guy, so this should be a non-issue.

...but it still doesn’t answer _why_ Soobin keeps thinking about Taehyun. Does he like Taehyun? What does _liking_ even mean?

 _I should talk to Yeonjun._ Soobin nods to himself. _Yeah, that’s a good idea. Yeonjun will know what to do. I can tell Yeonjun what I’m feeling, and he can confirm if I’m feeling romantic interest or if I’ve just made a new friend. But first, I have to go wake the band up. And I don’t have to go get Taehyun first._

Soobin exits the tent, making sure he has his passport wallet and Blackberry, then does his best to retrace his steps toward the Rising Stage. He notices that the noise that woke him up is coming from two tents down. Someone who is obviously on drugs is standing outside the tent, tube top askew, yelling something about Jason Derulo and butterflies in her beer. Soobin just walks past. There is nothing about that lifestyle that appeals to him.

It takes Soobin longer than he had hoped, but he makes his way back to the stage where he had met Taehyun less than 24 hours ago. From the Rising Stage, he walks to the staff tent, then across the food vendors and THEN to the RVs. Instead of going towards 304, Soobin goes toward lot 112, finds the RV, then knocks on the door.

“Rise and shine, guys. You got a set in four hours.”

He has to knock again, but then Beomgyu sticks his head out of the RV. Thank God he looks awake. “Hey, dude! Come on in! Nice shirt!”

“Haha, thanks, I was wearing it yesterday, too.” Soobin steps into Waeng’s RV. This one is bigger than Taehyun’s by a good shot. Soobin enters toward the _front_ of the cab, passing by the driver and passenger seats before finding himself in a decent sized room. The dining booth is on the left side here, across from two chairs and a couch that probably pulls out to a bed. There is a _fireplace_ on the wall, and a kitchen the same size as Taehyun’s, and a hallway leading to a bathroom and a sliding door to the bedroom. Beomgyu sure didn’t drive this up from Manhattan, but it looks like the perfect home for the next day or so.

Soobin makes himself at home on one of the chairs. Kai is on the couch, currently actually a couch, and he looks like he did have too much to drink last night. “Do you need anything?”

Kai is quiet for a moment, then rubs his eyes. “More sleep.”

“He had two beers,” chipper Beomgyu explains. “That’s it. Angel was the real trooper, but Shelly already has her awake.” _That’s right,_ Soobin remembers. Because Shelly has a chronic illness, she cannot drink anything other than water. 

Sure enough, Shelly and Angel both emerge from the back bedroom, all ready for their set. In traditional lesbian fashion, Shelly is wearing a plaid flannel shirt, but short sleeved, mostly red, and open in the front to show off her boobs. She is also wearing her famous short shorts, black in color, and over the knee socks that qualify as what Angel keeps calling _absolute territory._ Angel is in full goth mode, with black eyeliner and lipstick, blue hair dye in her braids, and a corset over her strapless dress.

“Look who decided to show up,” Angel says with a smile. “Soobin Choi.”

“Ugh,” Shelly whines as her head almost hits the ceiling _again._ Shelly is a giant next to Angel’s five-foot-four frame; Soobin knows it’s the one remaining part of her dysphoria that she may never be completely rid of. So Soobin changes the conversation.

“Your socks look great.”

“Oh.” Shelly blushes and smiles, height forgotten. “Thanks.”

“Nice RV,” Soobin says as he looks around. “Did you have to pay extra for it?”

“No more extra than we had to pay to play the set,” Beomgyu explains. “Lots of artists are actually staying in the hotel nearby, but that was way more expensive, and this way, we’re _right here._ Our gear was brought up from Yonkers two days ago.” Beomgyu’s parents are supportive of his rock and roll dreams, but practice spaces in NYC are expensive as hell. When the band really wants to jam, they take the train up to Beomgyu’s house, get some down home _gimbap,_ and play for an entire day before heading back (or sleeping over). 

“Well, do you guys want to get some lunch, and I can see if I can find Daniel? He said he wanted to interview you before your set, ‘Gyu.”

“Sure. We could use some food anyway.”

No matter where he looks, Soobin can’t see Taehyun. His eyes dart from here to there while they walk, Beomgyu in the lead with Kai while Shelly and Angel casually walk behind. But the crowds are already out in full force, and the entire area with food stands is wall to wall foot traffic. If Taehyun is here, Soobin won’t be able to see him anyway. Taehyun will just have to wait until later. 

Beomgyu gets Soobin into the food tent easily. The menu for Saturday’s lunch is noodles, including a Japanese ramen that Soobin goes for. He gets a lemon lime soda to go with it, to which Beomgyu laughs. “Dude, it’s chicken noodle soup with a soda on the side. Sorry, you probably don’t know that song. We heard it all the time in school.”

They all sit together at the end of a table. Shelly and Angel are pressed together, still unable to get enough of each other after all this time. Beomgyu, meanwhile, eats in silence. Soobin looks around for Yeonjun, but doesn’t see him yet.

“Hey, Beomgyu?”

“Hmm?”

“How did you know that you were in love with Tatiana?”

“What are you talking about?”

“You know. How do you know if you’re in love?”

“Choi Soobin, falling in love?” Beomgyu laughs until he falls out of his chair. “With who? Who’s the lucky girl?”

Soobin doesn’t say a word.

“Okay, okay, look. I’m no pro at it. We started dating in high school, had the same friend group, we just kind of paired off, that kind of thing. It’s never been that can’t sleep, can’t eat, reach for the stars, over the fence World Series kind of thing.”

“...what?”

“God, you’re on about that again,” Kai moans. “Beomgyu’s cousin growing up was _obsessed_ with this Olsen Twin movie. And they talk about love being this feeling like you played baseball and you just hit a home run. Like it’s this great feeling and you just won the World Series and you’re day tripping and hanging by your shoestrings and walking on starlight and stuff.”

“I felt that with Angel,” Shelly speaks up. “We were on the train, and I just saw her, and I just had to talk to her. And you know what the first thing she said to me was?”

“That she didn’t date men.” Soobin knows this story. “But you knew, even then?”

“Girl, I knew before she knew,” Angel says with a smile. “It didn’t take long for Shelly to come around. That was all the way back in high school. You were just some cute tall chick in disguise coming into the city to go see someone at MSG.”

Shelly blushes. “It was a good show, okay?”

“And after the show, we met up and got some halal food and sat literally _right_ in the middle of Penn Station. I seriously almost caught her train back with her. Didn’t know how I was catching feelings and making googly eyes at this person whom I thought was a man in a pink sweater. Turns out my gaydar was right all along. Shelly has always been the most beautiful girl in the world.”

Shelly smiles at Angel. “My darling angel.”

“My Shelly-boo.”

 _Okay, they need a room,_ Soobin thinks to himself, but he sees a streak of blonde hair and waves. “Jjuni!!!”

Yeonjun turns and looks toward Soobin, smiles, then waves. And _then_ he locks eyes with Kai Kamal Huening. He pauses. Then, the corners of his mouth turn up, just a bit. Soobin swears he sees a blush cross Yeonjun’s face. And then, it’s gone, like it never happened in the first place, because Yeonjun sees the rest of the band and it’s time to be Daniel Choi. 

“What’s up, guys?” Yeonjun calls out.

“Guys,” Soobin says, “this is my good friend Daniel Choi. He’s the owner of the music blog I was telling you about.” Soobin looks down the table and nods to Beomgyu.

Beomgyu stands and gives Yeonjun a quick bow. _“Annyeonghaseyo.”_

Yeonjun laughs. _“Annyeonghaseyo!_ In public, you gotta call me Daniel, but seriously, Yeonjun.”

“Haha, okay. I don’t really speak in Korean in public. My parents like to, but, uh, nobody else does.”

“Hey, that’s cool. We met some cool cat yesterday who knows absolutely nothing about Korea, despite being from there.” Yeonjun grins at Soobin. “Which reminds me, Soobin, where is your new boyfriend?”

Soobin chokes on his Sprite.

“New...boyfriend?” Beomgyu lets it click. “Soobin, is this who you were asking us about?”

“No -- stop talking about it -- Jjuni, I haven’t seen him yet today, _oh my God just do the interview already.”_ Soobin stands up, ready to take his leave so Daniel Choi can focus.

“All right, all right, sheesh. It’s just Soobin crushing on some boy. It’s not like you got a blow job on the Ferris Wheel last night or something.”

Shelly’s mouth is wide open. _“You got a blow job on the Ferris Wheel?!?”_

Yeonjun shrugs. “What, like it’s hard? I found a very willing man who wanted to try it.” But Yeonjun glances over at Kai, and Kai looks pale as a bedsheet, and he suddenly thinks getting head from a stranger on night one of NeoNara probably wasn’t a good idea. “I mean...we only live once, right?” 

“Wow.” Beomgyu smirks. “I’m impressed. My girlfriend can’t do anything like that, but she’s usually in her fatigues, so fat chance of me ever pulling off something like that.”

“I’m out,” Soobin mutters, “I’m _so_ out,” and he walks to the other side of the tent to finish his ramen. He sets a timer on his BlackBerry for a half hour and grabs a chocolate chip cookie from the buffet. During the half hour, he finishes his ramen, eats the cookie, and looks _everywhere_ for Taehyun. When he returns, Yeonjun has finished the interview already, and the group is sitting and talking

“So then I told her that we were done, and she just goes Facebook official with this new guy like immediately.” Kai hangs his head. “I hate being a serial dater.” Soobin has heard this complaint before: the longest girlfriend Kai has ever had has lasted a month.

“You will find somebody,” Soobin says. “Don’t worry, Huening. There are eight and a half million people in New York City. It just takes time.”

Kai glares at Soobin. 

“Well, guys,” Yeonjun says, picking up his tape recorder, “I have to go talk to TRUTH before they leave. They’ve got a very busy schedule and lots of fangirls that I’m gonna have to fight off. But I’ll be back around at three for your set. Ciao!” He waves as he dashes across the food tent, disappearing to who knows where.

“He was a very interesting man,” Angel remarks. “Totally a New Yorker, through and through.”

“Well, technically,” Soobin says, “his family is from New Jersey --”

“I take it back,” Kai says, suddenly, out loud. “I think I just won the World Series.”

Beomgyu and Shelly look over at Kai. “What are you on about?” Shelly asks.

“That man. Daniel Choi. He is the most beautiful person I have ever seen in my entire life.”

And the entire group starts _cracking up._ Beomgyu can’t stop laughing, Shelly hides her face behind her hands, and even Soobin can’t hold back a fit of giggles. Kai immediately looks upset. “What?”

“It’s just…” Beomgyu can’t talk between fits of laughter. “We were literally just talking about you having a girlfriend of the week. You’re not gay, Kai.”

Kai pouts. “Okay, but, like, this _literally_ just happened, so don’t try to discredit my experience.”

Beomgyu shakes his head. “All right. Fine. Whatever.”

“No, I’m serious, it just -- none of you felt that, right? It’s like I saw Daniel come into the tent and wave at you, Soobin, and I looked over and it’s like everything else is a blur. Like it was all in slow motion. And there are hundreds of people in this tent, but none of them mattered because all I could see was Daniel Choi, in his tie-dyed T-shirt, coming over to talk to you and Beomgyu. And I was just...breathless. Like, I couldn’t remember to breathe.” He gives off a Traditional Kai Squeal. “Ohh, thinking about it gives me goose pimples!”

“Come to think of it,” Shelly notes, “you were incredibly slow for, like, the first five minutes of our interview.”

“See?” Kai crosses his arms. “He’s adorable. I need his number.”

“I can get it for you,” Soobin says, deadpan, not even thinking about the possible consequences of Kai Huening having Daniel Choi’s number. 

At this, Kai suddenly shrinks back into his seat. “I mean...I want it, but now I’m nervous.” And the entire group just laughs, Yeonjun’s number forgotten.

Now that the interview is done, there is only a little bit of time left before Waeng plays on the stage. Soobin finally finishes his soda and steps out from under the tent. NeoNara is around him, kids running toward the fair rides, tall adults eating fair food, teenagers chatting about what show they’re going to see next, music wafting over from the stages. 

It all feels perfect, except there’s just one thing missing -- 

“Soobin!”

Soobin turns, and _there is Taehyun Rhodes,_ fifty feet away, in a tie-dyed T-shirt and black shorts and a _black cat ear headband,_ waving him down and calling his name. Once more, Soobin can’t see anybody else but Taehyun. And Soobin remembers what Kai said: _everything else is a blur, slow motion, hundreds of people around but none of them matter._

And it’s then that Soobin learns two things at the exact same time.

The first is that he is _can’t sleep, can’t eat, reach for the stars, over the fence World Series_ in love with Taehyun Rhodes.

The second is that, in just over twenty four hours, Soobin will be gone, and Taehyun will be stuck here. If this is love, it is destined to not last.

And Soobin makes his decision early. He will play his cards as right as he can, go all in. This is the only time he has ever felt this way, and even if he doesn’t understand why, it will most likely be ripped out of his hands in a short time. Soobin can choose to keep his distance, but he would rather spend the rest of the weekend with Taehyun not far from his side.

_Better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all._

* * *

“Oh, my god,” Yeonjun says, shaking his head at Soobin. “Soobinnie. No, sweetheart. You are not in love with Taehyun Rhodes.”

Soobin feels his heart sink. He had been so sure, and now, he’s wrong? “Oh.”

“No, silly bean. You have a _crush._ That’s all.”

“...oh.” Soobin imagines his huge hands squeezing Taehyun’s until they hurt. “I don’t want to crush anything about Taehyun.”

“No, no, not that -- _pabo --_ “ Yeonjun tries to think of a Korean word for it and _fails miserably._ Talking with his parents in Jersey hardly ever references a love life. “No, let me try to explain. You’re not in love with Taehyun, but you’re _on the way_ to being in love with Taehyun.”

“Oh, I am?”

“Yeah.” Yeonjun stretches; there is hardly any room to move in Soobin’s tent. It’s the two of them alone; Taehyun; after meeting up with the others, went with Beomgyu and the rest of Waeng to set up for their show. Soobin had considered it a perfect time to talk to Yeonjun alone, and in traditional Yeonjun fashion, the _sunbae_ wasn’t making fun of Soobin or discriminating against him for suddenly liking a guy. 

“So here’s the scoop,” Yeonjun says, rugged festival boots splayed on either side of the pillow Soobin brought with him. “You catch sight of a person, and you think to yourself something along the lines of, _wow, they’re really pretty._ You just want to keep staring at them, like you never want to take your eyes off them. And when they open their mouth and start speaking, it’s like the most lovely sound in the world, like music itself can’t beat it.”

Soobin grins. “Yeah!”

“But at the same time, you don’t know how to react to these sudden feelings. So you’re feeling a bit flustered and unsure of what to do next. You could also appear as a klutz, or spend so much time watching them that you run into something or someone because you’re not paying attention. You’re also blushing and stammering a lot.”

Soobin pauses. “Yeah...I really can’t take my eyes off of him.”

“So that’s what Americans and English culture call a _crush._ It’s kind of like catching feelings for someone, that very first moment of the romantic comedy where the girl shows up and everything freezes, and everybody knows she’s the one. But the story doesn’t end there. You’ve got a massive crush on Taehyun, Soobinnie. And that’s okay.” Yeonjun reaches over and pinches Soobin’s cheeks. “Look at my _hoobae,_ finally liking someone! Aww, it’s so cute!”

Soobin has nowhere to run, so he sticks his head inside his blue Waeng t-shirt. He makes the mistake of inhaling. _Drat._ He should have invested in more deodorant. “I mean…so what do I do next?”

“Well, if you don’t want to suffer with this crush for eons, you talk to the person you have a crush on. And you try to figure out if maybe they have a crush on you, too. If the person you’re crushing on doesn’t like you back, then you have to accept the disappointment and go on with your life. However, you are talking to Daniel Choi, Gay Man of Romance, and I can give you a couple of hints just from what I’m seeing.”

“Okay?”

“I am willing to bet twenty dollars and a bottle of that lemon American Soju I like so much on this. Taehyun _totally_ likes you back.”

“How do you know?”

“Dude, have you not seen him for the past twenty four hours? He’s been following you around like a little lost puppy dog! Everywhere you’ve been, he’s been there, too.”

“I mean, I was the one who didn’t know where I was going --”

“ _Pabo._ You might have not known where to go physically, here, but Taehyun is set on following you mentally. I can see it when you don’t. He looks at you the same way you’ve been glancing at him, I’m sure of it. So you’ve got a pretty good chance of being successful if you make a move.”

“And how do I make a move? What kind of...move should I be making? In all the dramas, there’s always some event or something that suddenly puts them together.”

“Like this. Hey, you know your band’s drummer? The kid with the long hair?”

Yeonjun’s sudden change of subject confuses Soobin. “Huh? The drummer...of Waeng? Oh, you mean Kai?”

“Kai.” Yeonjun grins. “Yeah, that. Can I have his number?”

“Sure, but my service is still dead. I should be able to get it out of my phone, though.” Soobin reaches into his pocket and scrolls through his contact list. “There,” he says, showing the Blackberry to Yeonjun, who puts the number into his iPhone.

“See? How hard was that?” Yeonjun pockets his phone. “I just made a move.”

“On Kai?”

“Yeah.”

It takes Soobin a moment. “You have a...crush on Kai?”

“Yeah, kind of. I’m not as sappy as you clearly are for Taehyun and he is for you, clearly the two of you should just kiss already. But I took one look at Kai, and I thought to myself, _damn,_ Jjuni, that is one _fine ass man._ Not only that, but he’s adorable, too. I mean, for a while there during the interview, he was telling me about this stuffed bunny that he has. Who talks about stuffed bunnies during a band interview? He’s unique, I tell you. Oh, and he just turned eighteen, so he’s _totally_ on the market.”

“Yeonjun- _hyung.”_

“What I’m saying is…” Yeonjun waves his iPhone at Soobin. “You just gave me Kai’s number. Now I can text him, go, _hey, this is Yeonjun, is this Kai?_ And poof! We can start having a conversation, as long as he has unlimited texting.”

“He does, trust me. His dad is _loaded.”_

“Yeah, so now I can text Kai whenever I want, and we can keep talking, and eventually I can figure out if he likes me back or not. And my gaydar’s pretty good, though it takes a few tries to kick in. Once I know, I can either ask him out on a date, or I can just stay friends with him. I’ve had lots of crushes. I know how to get over disappointment pretty quickly.”

“Really.” Soobin ponders to himself. “I might need some tips on that if things don’t go well with Taehyun.”

“They will, trust me. Now, you’re in kind of a precarious situation, because you’ve got today and tomorrow, and then you won’t see him for a while, if ever. So the first thing you _have_ to do is you have to make sure to get his phone number! That way, no matter where Taehyun is, he can text you back. It’s just like me and Kai now. And whatever happens between the two of you now, the fact that you have his number and you can at least talk to him means you can still message and check in, and who knows? His parents have to be loaded to own an RV like that. Perhaps he can drive down to the city for a day or two, take the train, whatever. Long distance would suck, but from what I can tell between the two of you, you have that whoosh-bam-bang connection that the majority of us only hope for.”

“The World Series.” Soobin suddenly realizes that Kai’s mentioned this, that Kai looked at Yeonjun and thought it was like the World Series. He hadn’t known what Kai was talking about properly then. Now he does. He opens his mouth, almost to tell Yeonjun that _he_ probably has a good shot of at least asking Kai out, when Yeonjun interrupts.

“Yeah, sure, something like that. So, are you gonna kiss Taehyun or not?”

Soobin’s mind immediately goes to the K-drama inside his head, where there are bubbles and flowers around Taehyun, like they’re standing in a field and some light and airy music is playing. He thinks about Taehyun’s lips, how the lower one is slightly bigger than the upper one, how he hardly ever fully closes them --

“Hello. Earth to Soobinnie.”

“Oh.” Soobin shakes his head. “Sorry.”

“You were imagining yourself kissing him.”

“No, I wasn’t. How am I supposed to know if he wants to be kissed or not?”

“Sometimes, you just know. You look into their eyes, and it’s just this unheard, secret signal. Like a magnetic pull that says, _Kiss me, Soobin.”_ Yeonjun holds up both of his index fingers, moving them slowly together. “If you find yourself getting closer and closer, just go for it. But pick a side first. You gotta tilt your head one way or the other, and if you think he’ll move the other way, just grab his face and go for it.” He smashes his fingers together. “It’s okay if it’s kind of messy. But if he likes you, if he’s crushing on you, too, he’ll kiss you back. And hopefully he’ll have more experience than you, you little kissing virgin.” And then Yeonjun pauses and _laughs._ “God, I just realized he has an RV.”

“Yeah, so?”

“Oh. My. God. Soobin. You are dense. You’ve never been kissed, and you’ve _most_ certainly never had sex.”

Soobin is so surprised by Yeonjun’s words that he nearly falls over. “ _Eeeeeehhhhhhhhhh?!?”_

“Okay, okay, we’ll stop at kissing! But just to let you know, if things escalate further than that -- and you’ll know if they do -- call me? Whatever state you’re in, I’ll bring you what you need. I am always prepared.”

Soobin shakes his head. He’s been sitting for the past half hour trying to get over the idea of two guys kissing in his brain. He has _absolutely no clue_ how two men would have sex, and he doesn’t want to think about it. It just sounds painful with a side of _ouch._ Instead, he goes back to thinking about kissing Taehyun. He’s gotta turn his head one way or the other, and then maybe just grab his face and --

“Soobin.”

Soobin wakes up from his reverie _much_ faster this time. “Oh, yeah?”

“You’re gonna miss your friends’ show, aren’t you?”

Soobin looks down at his Blackberry to check the time. Waeng had had a good number of fans come out to their set, and they along with Taehyun had helped set up, so Soobin had been free to have this conversation with Yeonjun. But it had meant that he had lost track of time, just a bit. “Oh, shit! We gotta go!”

“That we do.” Yeonjun stands up and opens the tent flap. “Make sure to zip this. Don’t want anybody getting into your things.”

“Jjuni, I have everything I need right here,” Soobin says, smacking his cargo shorts. “I came prepared.”

Yeonjun leads the way out of the tents and back to the main NeoNara festival area. It is _crowded_ and _hot,_ and people are wandering all over, wearing clothes that are multicolored, sunglasses, and hats. There are people of all ages, races, and sexualities; Soobin passes at least five clearly gay white men in rainbows. _Is he like them now? Is he gay?_ Soobin doesn’t have time to think about it; all he knows is that he has this _crush_ on Taehyun, and he should try to figure out if Taehyun likes him back.

They pass the Rising Stage, which has some band with a lead singer all decked out in a mohair suit, and take a hard left. The All Access Stage is more decorated than the smaller Rising Stage, with more lights and a banner over it, though there are no LED screens like over at the Sperry Main Stage. Kai’s drums are set up, with Sherry on his left and Beomgyu on his right, like every other set they have played before. But with their small three-piece band lineup, Waeng looks _really_ small on the stage, and Soobin can tell. Thankfully as he reaches the area, he can see that the crowds are really starting to gather. There are even a few people he recognizes from the city who have come up. He sees a similar Waeng t-shirt to his, but in black, and recognizes the owner.

“Hey, Dylan!” he calls out, waving him down.

Dylan is an older man who is starting to bald, but he has been part of the Williamsburg scene for so long that he’s practically a mainstay. “What’s up, man,” he says, shaking Soobin’s hand and clapping him on the back. “Who’s your friend?”

“This is Daniel Choi, he’s a music blogger.” Yeonjun, once more incognito, shakes hands with Dylan, and then with the small woman next to him. Soobin notices. “Sky, your hair looks amazing!”

“I know, right?” Sky looks smaller than she actually is; her badge is green and she is holding a beer in her hand. Her hair is colored every shade of the rainbow.

“Oh, my God, Soobin,” and then the ever-familiar voice of Cici Balanciaga wafts over the crowd. She runs over in her own Waeng t-shirt, which is hot pink and has been deconstructed to hell. At this point, the only thing recognizable about it is the Waeng logo in white, all over her chest. “Where have you been? Oh, my God. You’ve missed so much.”

Soobin gives Cici a quick hug. “I’ve been here! I just...had some business I had to attend to. Cici, have you met Daniel Choi?”

Cici gasps. “Omigod, THE Daniel Choi from Shampoo Fairy?”

Yeonjun gives Soobin a glance that has always meant _ooh, look, I have more fans, I’m so popular,_ then shakes Cici’s hand. “Has Soobinnie been talking about me?”

“Omigod. Soobinnie.” Cici giggles. “I love it. I’m gonna have to start calling you that.”

Soobin shakes his head. “Goodness. When do they start?”

“Any minute now.” Cici looks back up toward the stage. For a second, Soobin wonders where Taehyun is. “Do you want to talk first as their promoter? Everybody knows you. You’re basically the fourth member of Waeng.”

“Yeah, Soobin, do it,” Soobin hears another voice say, and he turns to see good old Taehyun Rhodes, by his side again. 

“There you are,” he says with a smile. That knot in his throat is back, as well as that floaty feeling whenever he looks into Taehyun’s eyes.

“Take him with you,” Yeonjun, fully in Daniel Choi mode, tells Soobin. He winks. “Let me chat up these fantastic people over here and catch the show.”

Soobin shakes his head, and then, he feels bold. Much like Taehyun did yesterday, he grabs the smaller man’s hand and pulls him along, toward the side of the All Access Stage. Kai is there, all decked out in his black vest and beret. Soobin wonders for a split second if he should tell Kai that Yeonjun has his number, but he decides against it. Let Yeonjun work his magic. 

“There you are,” Beomgyu calls out. He is in his own deconstructed t-shirt, white in color with the New York City subway map on it, and torn up black jeans. A spiked choker that Tatiana probably bought for him sits around his neck. “There’s too many fans from the city here. They’re all gonna need their passports stamped.”

“Yeah, can I introduce you guys?”

“Sure.” Beomgyu hands Soobin a boom mic. “Go for it, dude. Just don’t get too close to the monitors again.”

“Oh, I know, I know.” Soobin lets go of Taehyun’s hand and suddenly feels empty as he ascends the stairs. The first few times he had introduced Waeng, he had stammered through his speech, and he still needs to think about what he’s going to say. But Beomgyu had helped with that, kind of. All he has to do is announce them, and tell them where to find him to stamp passports.

“Hey guys,” he says as the foley music dies down, and it’s just him and the crowd, who start cheering. “Uh, what’s up, so, my name is Soobin and I am the promoter for...this great band named Waeng! Give it up for them!”

The audience cheers. “You’re doing great, Soobinnie!” Soobin hears Cici _scream_ over the crowd. 

“Now, I see a lot of familiar faces in the crowd...who hasn’t been here to see Waeng before? Show of hands.” Soobin scans the crowd; for every one person who is a regular fan, there are two or three who have never seen Waeng before. “Okay, awesome. If this is your first show with Waeng, well, we can promise you a good time, and we can definitely promise you a rockin’ time.” He clicks his teeth and winks at the crowd, pointing at all of them. Beomgyu will _kill_ him for being so cheesy later. “But anyway, I have some quick bookkeeping stuff. Many of you have brought your passports -- if you’ve been seeing Waeng play clubs in Brooklyn and Queens, hold up your passports!” All of the regulars held up their little blue books. “All right, great. Well, if you like what you see today and you’d like to catch us again, we have more passports to pass out today for all of the newcomers. And if you’re here today, you can come get a stamp from me or from one of my assistants or the band members when we’re done! We’ll be meeting just outside the stage area so the next band can set up, so please form a nice and orderly line once we get there. Oh, and by the way -- when you get at least five stamps in your passport, you get one of these awesome Waeng t-shirts, totally for free.” Soobin points out the shirt. Everybody laughs. “Now, without further ado, let’s welcome Waeng!”

Soobin holds out his arm and skips off stage to the cheers of the crowd, turning off the boom mic and handing it back to Beomgyu. “That was gross.”

“You’re gross. See you on the other side, bud.” With that, Beomgyu, Kai, and Shelly, who somehow comes out of nowhere, walk up on stage.

Soobin sees Angel chatting up Taehyun and walks over to them. “Are we gonna watch from here?”

“We can post out a bit,” Angel says, and the three of them walk to the side of the stage. They walk just until they can see the performers on stage, Beomgyu grabbing his guitar and Kai playing a few licks on the drum to test things out. 

“It’s loud,” Taehyun says, and he covers his ears. Soobin taps his hands, and Taehyun turns to him, confused. But then Soobin brings up his _own_ hands and covers Taehyun’s ears with them, sitting his head on top of Taehyun’s. It feels comfortable, being this close to him, close enough that if he moved forward by...oh, about twenty centimeters, his body would be against Taehyun’s. And that feels like too much of a bold move. But this -- this is protecting Taehyun’s ears from the woofer in front of them, while still giving them a good vantage point of the show.

After all: it’s only going to get louder.

“‘Sup,” Beomgyu says into the mic, and it echoes out over the crowd. “We are Waeng. Fresh from Brooklyn, all three of us eggs. That’s the lineup. Born and raised in Yonkers, they call me Beomgyu, but you can call me Gyu,” he announces like he always does. “Gyuuuuuuu. It rhymes with ‘eeeeeeewwww.’ Can you say ‘eeeeeeeeeewwwww?”

“Eeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwww,” the crowd echoes back, then laughs.

“Beomgyu on guitar, and we got Shelly on bass. Say hi, Shelly!”

“Hi, Shelly!” the crowd screams back.

“And then we got my brother Kai on the drums,” Beomgyu motions to the back, and Kai plays a blast beat into a tom run, ending with a flamboyant cymbal crash. “And now you know, I leave all the words to my best friend Soobin, so I can do this.”

And then, Waeng _crashes_ into their set. The sound is _so_ much bigger here, and it echoes out, but whoever did sound for Waeng did an _expert_ job. They’re just three instruments, and they fill the space of small bars in Brooklyn quite well. Soobin had been afraid that they would sound too empty in the open air. That fear is gone now. 

He knows this setlist, knows that Beomgyu has short songs packed back to back, as Beomgyu raises his mouth to the microphone and starts singing the first one.

_Someone said, what’s going on_

_Opposite attraction_

_What is this feeling inside me?_

_You think I wouldn’t know, but_

_I know we’re about to blow up_

_And there ain’t no use denying_

Taehyun reaches up and takes Soobin’s hands off his ears, turning around. “You don’t have to do that the entire time.”

“Do you need it?”

“I…” Taehyun shrugs. “I don’t know. I guess I’ll deal. What is this song about?”

“Oh, Beomgyu wrote it about him and his girlfriend. They’re total opposites. He’s this wild punk boy, and she’s in the military, but they somehow make it work. One day she said they were like a blue colored orangeade, and it stuck so well that he wrote this song about it. It’s the first hit.”

“Wow.” Taehyun watches the band, completely in sync on stage. Beomgyu occasionally looks over at Shelly, but other than that, all three members seem to be playing on their own. But Taehyun knows they’re all listening to each other, carefully tuned into the beat that Kai is laying down. They’ve practiced so much that it’s just natural for them at this point. 

Taehyun wishes he had put _that_ kind of practice into his work. 

But he doesn’t have a chance to think about it again, because Soobin is covering his ears with his hands again. Taehyun is glad Soobin can’t see his blush. _Why is he standing so close to me? Doesn’t he know the meaning of personal space? Is this a Korea thing that I just don’t know about? Aargh._ Instead, Taehyun gives up, and tells himself that he’ll just enjoy it while he can.

After all, come later on tomorrow, he’s going back home with the RV, and everybody will have forgotten this had ever happened. 

_Why did I come here?_

_Whose fault am I rewriting?_

_What is my purpose on this earth?_

_Will anyone love me for who I really am?_

_Or will they never see my wings?_

Beomgyu is in full-fledged band leader mode at this point, jumping around the stage, his guitar merely a prop. From here on out, it sounds like every word he is singing is one with the audience, like he is talking directly to them. 

_He will continue to be the image that you drew_

_And she will never be free unless you will her to_

Beomgyu suddenly unplugs his guitar. “Oh, hell,” Soobin realizes from afar, “he’s gonna do it --”

“Do what?” Taehyun asks just as it’s too late and Beomgyu swan dives into the crowd. Thankfully fans like Cici and Dylan and Sky are there to catch him, and he crowd surfs along the mosh pit. Kai and Shelly jam out until the fans throw Beomgyu back up on stage, and he takes a huge bow while everybody screams. Shelly starts the next song, singing as best she can with her husky voice.

_There is an answer_

_It’s in the mirror_

_Shatter the mirror_

_So all can see_

_There is an answer_

_It’s in reality_

_Shatter reality_

_So everyone can see_

Taehyun doesn’t know how a three piece punk rock band can hold his attention for almost an entire hour, but they _do._ Halfway through the show, Beomgyu starts a call and response that sounds something like _fight the power_ and _fuck the police,_ which probably shouldn’t go over as well as it does. It’s a punk rock band, and Soobin is _still_ right behind Taehyun, so he feels safe. He finds himself glad that his friends hadn’t come with him again, because it means he can live in the moment instead of at their whim. 

When everybody pulls out _real_ lighters and starts waving them, instead of cell phone flashlights, Taehyun half wishes he had one to join in. And through it all, Soobin stands and watches, his hands on Taehyun’s ears, no more than three inches behind Taehyun. Taehyun wishes he could lean back into Soobin’s arms, into his presence, but he knows that’s _much_ too far. This space is comfortable. 

It’s toward the end that Soobin has to take his ears off of Taehyun’s hands so he can start stamping passports, and Taehyun realizes again just _how_ loud the music is. He typically doesn’t stand this close to a speaker. He’s confident his ears are going to ring again later. They always do.

_So for right now I’ll smile_

_Like I’ve got nothing left to lose_

_Someday, somehow, I’ll make it back now_

Overwhelmed by the sheer volume of the wall of sound, Taehyun turns toward Soobin. He’s all smiles, next to Angel, sitting near the stage and stamping passports. For a split second, he looks up, then back down at the passport he’s handling. Taehyun forgets to breathe. _Did he just...glance at me? He just glanced at me. Like he_ likes _me._ It’s a move he recognizes from girls who have had crushes on him in high school. He never thought a guy would do it.

Let alone that guy be Choi Freaking Soobin.

Thankfully Waeng finishes their show, and the crowd goes absolutely _nuts_ as Beomgyu, Shelly, and Kai bow. Taehyun realizes he _has_ to get his hand on one of those passports, and runs over to Soobin. There’s a line, but he figures at this point he can cut it. “I’m getting a stamp,” he says to Soobin as he grabs a book, then gets in line like everybody else. 

He almost drops the book on the way to the end of the line as a huge gust of wind whips through. Turning around, Taehyun notices what he neglected to see during the entire set: the horizon coming in from the west is _dark._ Is that a storm? 

Taehyun shoves the passport in his back pants pocket. This can wait. He can get a stamp from Soobin later, before the Polaris Rider set. _If it even happens at this point._ He then runs past the two lines that Soobin and Angel have formed, up to the members of Waeng, still on the stage.

“You gotta get unloaded and get your gear in your trailer,” he yells. “Sky looks like it’s gonna rain.” 

And it’s _then_ that the tornado sirens go off. 

At first, Soobin thinks it’s a blast siren. 

He remembers his first days at Baruch College, when he and his friends had gone up to the Metropolitan Museum of Art and gotten _incredibly_ lost super early in the morning. Out of nowhere, they had heard this long, loud siren. It had scared the bejeezus out of Soobin, but it turned out that there was construction nearby on a new subway tunnel. The siren was just to warn those around that there would be a dynamite explosion underground soon.

He looks at the ground for two seconds too long before Angel makes the call. “Hold onto your passports! We will stamp them later when we get a chance. I’ll post where on social media! Get to high ground, _NOW!”_

“How come none of us knew about this?” Cici’s voice yells over the sudden chaos.

Scores of staff members in bright yellow shirts man the area, leading the crowd out of the general viewing area. Soobin and Angel jump on stage, but all of the cords are already packed, and Beomgyu and Shelly’s guitars are already put away and loaded. Taehyun is grabbing the snare and packing it. “Wow,” Soobin says, “you’re fast.”

“Tornado sirens don’t go off like this up here,” Taehyun says. “If they’re going off, that means one is spotted.”

Soobin has to ask. “What’s a tornado?”

Taehyun almost drops the snare.

“It’s like a typhoon, but on land!” Beomgyu screams, and it’s _then_ that the rain begins to fall. 

“My drums!” goes the Traditional Kai Squeal, and Soobin grabs the high-hats and disassembles them quicker than he has in his entire life. Taehyun finishes the snare, then helps Kai carry the bass drum down the stairs. The trailer is right behind the stage, but a staff member Soobin recognizes as Jessa runs toward them with a huge blue tarp. They cover the bass with it and move quickly, going around the corner while the tarp can protect the drum.

“Do you just want to hide in the trailer?” Soobin yells. His hair is starting to stick to his forehead from the rain.

“It’s not big enough for all of us,” Kai yells over the rain. “One or two, maybe!”

“Wait!” Taehyun yells out. “Let’s go to the food tent! It’s sturdy enough that it might work!”

“Angel and I will wait here with our stuff,” Shelly says, jumping into the trailer with Angel. “Radar says it should pass quickly, but that’s a line of red.”

“That’s not safe, Shelly! You need to be in an actual shelter.”

“Like a _tent_ is a shelter!”

“Yeah, but it’s better than a _trailer!”_

Soobin has no clue what a _line of red_ means, but Taehyun does. “We have to run,” he says. “Where’s the tornado at?” he calls out to Jessa. There are _never_ tornadoes in Albany; usually the mountains force them to die out.

“Over near Schenectady!” Jessa yells. “Rotterdam area!”

 _Jesus._ Taehyun thinks about praying, but shoves it to the side. Instead, he grabs Soobin’s hand. Once they’re out from under the cover of the All Access stage, they’re going to get _poured_ on. But once they’re at the tent, he can reassess. _He just needs to make sure Soobin doesn’t get lost on the way._

“No matter what,” he says, “don’t let go of my hand.”

Soobin looks down, and nods, and that’s when they run. The _moment_ Soobin steps out from under shelter, he gets drenched. Sheets of water pour down on his head. It permeates his shorts and his socks and his underwear and chills him absolutely to the bone. He can’t see anything through the mess that is the rain, can’t hear anything over the screams of others looking for shelter. It’s _chaos._ But his boots aren’t slipping in the mud, and Taehyun has his hand, and all Soobin has to do is keep following --

 _wait._ Soobin feels the rain change to _pinpricks._ Is it _raining needles?_

“HAIL!!!” he hears another Traditional Kai Squeal, and Taehyun increases his speed. Soobin watches the ground, watches Taehyun’s own boots run through the mud, past the booths that are spread out over the area. When they pause, it’s for Taehyun to show his badge, and then they are finally free and under cover in the food tent. 

“Move to the center, move to the center,” he hears another staff member say. Looking up, Soobin sees it’s Jennie, directing people to the middle of the tent. Taehyun doesn’t let go of Soobin, just leads him to the center of the tent. Tables and chairs have been scattered everywhere. The food has been covered with tarps. Another staff member with a megaphone is speaking as they approach the center, where many people have gathered.

“The siren is coming from the other side of the county. We have to hold shelter until the sirens quit. No tornado has been spotted in our area, but you must stay put. Once we receive the go-ahead from security, we will release you all. We will have to make updates to the schedule, but it will be a bit. The updates will be online, and staff members will have the information as well.”

Soobin and Taehyun finally stop at the edge of the crowd. Soobin shakes his head to rid himself of any moisture, before he gets it on anybody else. Then, he looks down at Taehyun, who _still_ hasn’t let go of his hand. The smaller man is just as soaked as he is, brown hair all a mess, cat ear headband gone, tie-dyed shirt clinging to his body, black shorts somehow even blacker. Rain drips down his face. Soobin forgets how to breathe for a moment.

“Are you okay?” Taehyun asks, and he reaches up to move some of Soobin’s sticky wet hair off his forehead.

“Yeah. What was that?”

“Hail. Oh, God, don’t tell me they don’t have hail in Korea?!”

Soobin pauses. “Hail.”

“Little pebbles of -- oh, dear God --”

 _“Ubag,”_ he hears someone say, and they both turn. Beomgyu and Kai have made their way into the circle, both as soaked as they are. 

“Oh.” Soobin understands now. _Hail_ is not a normal occurrence in Korea, but it does happen every once in a while, usually during monsoon season. He takes the moment to try and wring out his shirt a bit, but it’s like the blue t-shirt has absorbed the entire sky over NeoNara. When he pulls his BlackBerry out of his pocket, _that too_ is wet, though thankfully still powered on. 

The sirens finally stop, and the group in the middle is broken up. But nobody leaves the tent, because it is _still_ raining. Instead, the staff removes the covers from the food, and everybody eats to their hearts’ content while they wait for the rain to end. Beomgyu, Kai, Taheyun and Soobin share a table, all four soaked, not saying much at all.

It’s only when Beomgyu talks about getting out of his set clothes that Soobin realizes his mistake. “I don’t have any extra clothes on me.”

Beomgyu, Kai, and Taehyun stare at Soobin in shock. “Not any?” Kai manages to ask.

“No, I just brought this shirt and this pair of shorts.”

“Tell me you at least brought extra underwear.”

“Yeah, I did bring that and socks. But I figured I would just...stink the whole weekend.”

“Eww,” Beomgyu says, turning his face away. “Really, dude? Didn’t you listen to me at all when I told you what to pack?”

“Apparently not,” Taehyun mutters.

“Nah, it’ll be okay,” Soobin says. “I mean, I’ve got extra underwear and socks in my tent. I’ll just wait for my stuff to dry out there and be all set for tonight, right?”

Except when Soobin and Taehyun finally return to Soobin’s tent, a full forty five minutes later, the tent is no more. The roof has caved in, probably due to the weight of the hail, and the entire front zipper is open. Soobin’s backpack and sleeping bag are both gone. “Aw, shit,” Taehyun whispers as Soobin surveys the damage. “Didn’t you lock your tent zipper before you left?”

Honestly, Soobin can’t remember if he did or not, because he had sat to have that conversation with Yeonjun and then had ran to catch up with the band before the set. He probably hadn’t, and now, some other person at the festival has his backpack and sleeping bag. Thankfully his keys, wallet, and phone are on his person, but his extra pair of socks and underwear are now gone, as well as the couple of notebooks he had brought to study in any downtime he might have had, and he no longer has a place to sleep.

“Aargh,” he says as he checks his pocket, but the glowstick from last night is still there, albeit faded. 

Taehyun makes an executive decision. “How much did you pay for this tent?”

“Like, forty dollars at Target?”

“Ugh. You are _so_ not equipped for anything other than city life. Come with me. We’re heading back to the RV.”

They leave the waterlogged tent behind and trudge through the mud across the campground. Soobin’s tent isn’t the only one in disarray, but the majority of the tents have weathered the storm okay. The tornado siren had set everybody into a panic, and everything is wet, but most everything looks fine. People run around, cleaning things up, dumping water off the top of their tents if need be. Some people are packing up, done with the festival after the rain.

“What’s going to happen now?” Soobin asks Taehyun.

Taehyun’s quiet for a minute, and then, “They’re probably gonna cancel my show tonight.”

“Oh.” Soobin remembers how Taehyun had wanted to stay to watch the Polaris Rider set. He could be home right now, being productive, but he had stayed. Now all of that was wasted. “Are you gonna go home now?”

Taehyun looks back at Soobin, and for a moment, Soobin feels that _thing_ that Yeonjun was talking about, that unspoken communication. “No, not yet,” he says. “There’s still a chance that it might happen. First things first, though, I’m getting out of these clothes and getting dry. You, too.”

“Okay.” But Soobin pauses. “But I don’t have any extra clothes.”

The stages, tents, and fair booths are all fine, just wet. There are no crowds at the moment, even though the rain has stopped. Taehyun leads Soobin through the mess to the RVs, arriving at his own. He unlocks the front door and pulls Soobin in. “Okay, first things first. Shoes and socks are going on the dash. Same with your shorts, I’m assuming you don’t wear the same pant size as me.”

 _What am I going to wear if I take my shorts off?_ Soobin assumes Taehyun has a plan. He gives Taehyun a once-over, it’s hard to tell right now with his wet tie-dye shirt and black shorts. But then he remembers how he had stripped off his orange sweatshirt yesterday. “Yeah, I -- I think I’m bigger -- I mean --”

Taehyun just laughs. “Okay, so you have options.” He runs to the back and returns with a bag stuffed full with plain white t-shirts. “New question. Can you fit in a size medium shirt?”

“Uh, I think so? I usually wear large.”

“Ok. I bought all these for the weekend, just in case. That way if something happened to a shirt, I could trade and even discard if I needed.” Taehyun notably does not just start stripping off his wet shirt in front of Soobin, like Yeonjun has done time and time before. Instead, he hands a white t-shirt to Soobin, then hollers a “Hold on” as he ducks back into the bedroom, then returns with a pair of black sweatpants and a towel.

“Go in the bathroom and try these on, instead of your wet stuff.”

“O...ok.” Soobin takes the clothes and is promptly shoved into the small bathroom. There isn’t much in here: a little sink, a toilet with no visible flusher, and a shower. Soobin pulls off his sopping wet Waeng shirt, throwing it in the shower where it can drip, then towel drying off his torso before trying on the white t-shirt instead. It is snugger than Soobin would like, but it does fit. Sure enough, he checks in the mirror and things look okay. He runs the towel through his hair quickly before looking at the pants, then notices he’s dropped something.

He recoils when he realizes it’s _underwear._ Taehyun has given him an _extra pair of dry underwear._

“Well, they’re dry,” he says through gritted teeth as he does the same with his lower half. Sure enough, everything fits, and he’s dry. He puts his own underwear in his shorts pocket, then exits the bathroom with his wet shirt and shorts. Taehyun is there, waiting for him, in a white t-shirt and the very dry shorts he had been wearing yesterday during his set. 

“Give me your wet stuff,” he says, and he takes it from Soobin and lays it out in front, on the driver’s seat. “If the sun comes out again, it will heat up your stuff and get it dry. I don’t have any easy way to line dry it outside, sadly.”

“Now what?”

“In case you’re wondering.” Taehyun smacks the low ceiling by the driver’s seat. “There’s an extra bed up here. So you don’t have to go sleep in your cold, wet tent tonight with no sleeping bag.”

Soobin’s mouth drops open. “You would do that for me?”

“Why not? Aren’t your band friends staying until tomorrow?”

“Yeah, they are. They said they wanted to soak up the atmosphere for one more day. Probably just means they want to drink. You’re sure you’re okay with this?”

Taehyun nods. “I don’t have anywhere else to be. Just home. And...no offense, I’d rather be here.”

 _There it is again,_ that feeling that Soobin can’t describe that Yeonjun put into words perfectly earlier. _“You look into their eyes, and it’s just this unheard, secret signal. Like a magnetic pull that says, Kiss me, Soobin.”_ But Soobin is much too far away from Taehyun now, and besides, he doesn't want to ruin the friendship he does have with the man who just lent him a bed for the night. _What if Yeonjun is wrong? Okay, so Yeonjun’s, like, NEVER wrong. But what if he is this time?_

“Now what?”

“We wait. Cards?”

Soobin grins. “Cards.”

They play for a little while until they are sick of Go Fish. Taehyun checks his phone again. “No update.”

“You really like EDM?” Soobin asks. “You really want to go to this set.”

“I mean...yeah, I guess. I started my own DJ activities because I thought it would be fun to DJ parties and stuff. But now it’s turned into something else entirely.”

Soobin leans his head on his hands, doing the Traditional Daniel Choi pose. “You got started because you wanted to DJ parties?”

“Kind of. I figured it would be a good way to make money. Like, my freshman year of high school, we didn’t have anybody to DJ our homecoming, so I volunteered, and all I did was bring a laptop and some music and a speaker, but people really liked it. So I figured I could ramp it up a bit.”

Soobin has to stop Taehyun. “What year of high school?”

“Oh -- my first year.”

“And you had an event?”

“A dance. Oh -- you went to high school in Korea. You probably have no clue what a homecoming is.” And Taehyun proceeds to explain the entire thing to Soobin, the votes and the popularity contest and the pretty girls and the crowns and the parades and all of that. “They literally just needed someone to stand to the side and play songs, so I did that.” Taehyun pauses. “And then I had friends. And they all convinced me to do something more with it, so here I am. I didn’t start composing my own stuff until recently, though. The only song I’ve written was the first one I played.”

“Oh, okay.” Soobin is used to Beomgyu writing all of his own songs. “So they’re okay with you mixing other peoples’ work?"

“Yeah, I guess. I mean, I’ve done remixes and stuff, but especially when you’re starting out, it’s totally normal to just include others in the mix. Like, when we go to Polaris Rider’s set, I’m sure she’ll have songs that we know in her set, popular stuff like that Party Rock song. But then she’ll have her own tracks as well.”

“So it’s not that you want to go to see EDM music. You really want to see this Polaris Rider.”

“Yeah.” Taehyun looks at his hands. “I do. And we were all going to go together. I definitely feel an obligation to go, since none of my friends are getting to go with me.”

“Do you _want_ to?”

Taehyun pauses. “I mean...now, I guess I do. I think it would have felt like an obligation if I was going by myself, just to tell my friends that I did it and to send them pictures. But now I want to go with you. Last night was fun, with Merm4id. I don’t get out a lot, so it was fun to just...do that. I hope we get another chance.”

“Me, too.” Soobin reaches across the booth and puts his hand on Taehyun’s shoulder. “Are you going to be back next year?”

“Maybe? It’ll depend on who’s playing and if I’m able to get into college.”

“No, silly.” Soobin reaches up with his thumb and quickly strokes Taehyun’s cheek, to get his attention. “Are you going to play as King Solomon next year.”

 _Oh, it got Taehyun’s attention, all right._ It took his breath away. It reminded him of Soobin, standing in the back of the Rising Stage general admission area, looking up at him and smiling. Someone had seen his set. Someone had listened. Could he do it again?

“I...only if you help me find people to listen.”

“Oh, you need an audience?” Soobin winks at Taehyun. “I can help you find that, Taehyun. I can help you find all of that. But only if you promise to come back and play next year. And maybe do some other stuff in the meantime, like write some new songs, or...put together mixes or whatever DJs do.”

Taehyun laughs. “Do you want to see my decks? More up-close, I mean.”

Soobin shrugs. “Sure.”

They vacate the booth, and Taehyun pulls out the drawer. “So there are manufactured by Pioneer,” he explains, going over all of the buttons. “A long time ago, people would mix on real turntables with records, but everything is electronic these days. You use these buttons to fade from one song to the next. And I plug straight into my laptop computer.” He motions to a small notebook computer that Soobin hadn’t even seen him having the first day. It must have been so compact that Taehyun had whipped it under his arm and left it at that. “That’s all I have so far. I’ve been wondering if I should invest in some monitor speakers, but I don’t have the budget for that.”

“Then we should make the budget. I have an idea. How about you remix a Waeng track?”

“Ehh?”

“You know. Pick your favorite song by Waeng that they just played today. I’ll see if Beomgyu can get you all the fancy studio stuff. And then you write a remix of it. Then we can promote it, and maybe some of our own fans will come watch your show next year. Heck, if we get it released on an outlet, we can even get you some royalties.”

Taehyun shakes his head as he closes the drawer. “Seriously, Soobin, why are you doing all of this for me? I just met you.”

Soobin shrugs. He’s still got a raging crush on Taehyun, but he’s not ready to reveal that yet. “So?”

 _How can he be so nonchalant about it?_ Taehyun wonders. Then Soobin smiles, and Taehyun finds himself blushing. He looks away, desperate to be anywhere but right in front of Soobin, and so he grabs his phone, looking for an update from NeoNara staff. Anything to not be looking at Soobin’s dimples again. 

“Am I not allowed to do nice things for you?” Soobin asks.

“No, it’s just…” Taehyun focuses on his phone, trying to ignore the voices in his head. _If you’re doing nice things, it means I will have to do nice things in return. If I don’t reciprocate those nice things, then you will withdraw your support until I do. That’s how connections work, and I’m never able to offer anything of any merit, so I don’t know why you’re bothering when I am a waste of time as an artist, and I still don’t know if your’e gay so I can’t tell if you like me or not, and honestly, it shouldn’t matter --_

He pauses. “We’re on.”

Soobin looks over Taehyun’s shoulder. “Hmm?”

“They updated the website for NeoNara. They’re closing down the All Access stage area for the night because it’s too muddy. So all of those acts are cancelled. But the Rising Stage will be open starting at six for shows, and all of the headliners are still on tonight on the big stage.” Taehyun allows his eyes to meet Soobin’s. “We get to go to our show.”

“That’s great!” And Soobin leans in and gives Taehyun a huge hug, like the one he had received last night. Taehyun feels himself get pressed into Soobin, large arms wrapping around him, and this time, he hugs back. He doesn’t want to let go of Soobin that easily, and so, he doesn’t. He lets himself inhale Soobin’s scent, hearing his heartbeat through his chest, wondering what it would be like to stay here forever. 

But he can’t. 

But he has Soobin _now_ , and they’re going to go to the Polaris Rider show together _. Just the two of them_.

Taehyun backs away, still holding onto Soobin’s waist. “We gotta prepare for this. Are you ready for the concert of your life?”

* * *

Daniel Choi sucks on his fifth lollipop. This is not going according to plan.

He has already texted this mysterious Kai Kamal Huening three times, but none of them have been answered so far. The first one, he figured Kai was busy -- after all, their band had just performed right before a downpour, and they had to save their instruments. The second one was just a “hey, what’s up,” to reiterate that Daniel wanted to get a hold of him.

This third one is almost desperate, and Daniel is now kicking himself.

Of course, he is _stuck_ as Daniel because of the delays. The Sperry Music Arena has mostly been saved from the rain, but the entire back field is wet and muddy, so the night shows will be standing room only under the awning. Because of this, all of the times have been pushed back an hour, with Roselia starting at seven PM. That had left Daniel Choi, Music Blogger of Shampoo Fairy, just enough time to interview Roselia. It hadn’t been an easy interview, because the band was not yet fluent in English, and their lead singer was a woman of few words. Eventually the interview had been hijacked by their youngest member, who had started yelling something about an MMORPG they were all playing. Daniel had just smiled and nodded. 

He has tried looking for SQRL-X, but the man had disappeared. And he had ran into Polaris Rider a couple of times, but Daniel had already interviewed her at the Governor’s Ball. It didn’t make sense for him to interview her twice in one year. So now he is stuck trying to message Kai, to see if he will bite --

His phone vibrates. Daniel turns back into Yeonjun and checks it.

Kai Huening: wait who is this?

unknown: you remember? Daniel Choi?

unknown: I got your number from Soobin

Kai Huening: oh!!!

[ _unknown_ has been changed to _Daniel Choi_ ]

Kai Huening: now I remember!

Kai Huening: omigosh I’m so sorry I didn’t see this before

Kai Huening: weve been kind of preoccupied with the instruments

Kai Huening: where is Soobin anyway? I know his phone doesn’t have service

Daniel Choi: probably with that guy he’s been hanging out with

Daniel Choi: King Solomon?

Kai Huening: yeah so uh...the trailer sprung a leak

Even Yeonjun feels his heart drop. Water in the Waeng trailer, with expensive instruments? This is _bad._

Daniel Choi: uh oh. is everything okay?

Kai Huening: mostly. we didnt even notice it until later so were having to unzip and check it all

Kai Huening: could use Soobins help actually have you seen him?

Daniel Choi: I haven’t. Let me look.

Yeonjun cranes his neck around the food tent until he sees a tall shock of blue hair. _Thank God._

Daniel Choi: found him. I’ll tell him. one moment. 

He gets up from his chair and jogs toward Soobin, who is completely spaced out, making himself a plate of spaghetti. And Yeonjun notices that Taehyun Rhodes is right beside him, and the two look _exactly the same._ They both have on white t-shirts -- Soobin’s looks a little tight -- that are dry as a rock. Taehyun has changed his shorts, while Soobin’s still look a little wet, but not waterlogged like they had to have been before. 

_Where did Soobin get that t-shirt?_ Yeonjun wonders to himself, then smirks. He wonders if they’ve kissed yet. And then he pauses. Knowing Soobin, he probably hasn’t yet. That man wouldn’t take a risk if it dangled in front of his face. Yet from the look on Soobin’s face, Yeonjun _knows_ he’s got it bad for Taehyun.

And then Daniel Choi, Gay Man of Romance, gets an idea.

“Soobin,” he hollers, tapping him on the shoulder.

Soobin looks up from his food. “Hey, Yeonjun. What’s up?”

“Your phone’s still not working, right?”

“Yeah, I don’t even have it on me. It’s back in Taehyun’s trailer.”

 _Back at the trailer, huh?_ Yeonjun smirks inside. Perhaps these two had gotten farther than he thought. “So I just got a message from Kai. He said the Waeng trailer sprung a leak in the roof.”

Soobin drops his plate of spaghetti -- right onto his shoes. “What?” If the instruments get wet, Waeng doesn’t yet have enough money to replace them. This could be the difference between pressing onward and having to quit. 

The commotion caused Taehyun to turn from his own food plate that he had been making. “What’s going on?”

“Waeng has a leak,” Soobin says, and Taehyun knows _immediately_ what’s going on. Moisture and electronics do not mix. “Can you -- um -- get me more food? I gotta go help him.”

“I’m coming, too,” Taehyun says, but Yeonjun stops him before he can go much further. 

“Actually,” he says, putting an arm around Taehyun and grabbing Soobin’s food, “how about you stay with me? Soobin, go help your friends. I’ll keep an eye on Taehyun until you get back. Go, shoo.”

Soobin almost fights Yeonjun, but then he catches something in his friend’s eyes, an unspoken bro signal of sorts. He trusts Yeonjun, so he nods, and then he dashes out of the tent and toward the trailer.

“Is everything going to be okay?” Taehyun asks. He almost looks like a little lost puppy without Soobin to follow around, but Yeonjun has to get to the bottom of something. 

“Yeah, he’ll be fine. He came here for Waeng, and his band needs him. That’s all. Come, come, sit, sit. Finish getting your food first, though.”

Taehyun does, loading up on noodles and steak before sitting across from Yeonjun. Yeonjun grabs a cookie, for good measure, then breaks it into three different sections as Taehyun starts to eat.

Then, Yeonjun starts in. “So, have you kissed him yet?”

The first bite of steak doesn’t even make it into Taehyun’s mouth. He glances at Yeonjun. “Excuse me?”

“Have you kissed Soobin yet.”

Taehyun’s mouth opens, wider, and then it closes. He puts his fork down. “I don’t have to answer you.”

“Oh, but you will, won’t you?” Yeonjun tilts his head in such a way that his bangs come down in front of his eyes, and then he shakes his head to the side so they move out of the way. It’s a tactic he usually uses on cute boys to get them to kiss him, but for now, it will have to work as a wingman’s tactic. 

Sure enough, it works. “Why is it so important that you know? What do you want from me?”

“I want to see my friend happy.”

“You’re saying that me kissing your best friend will make him happy? Because that sounds like the most ridiculous thing in the world.”

“Look.” Yeonjun lays out the facts. Taehyun can’t argue with facts. “All I’m saying is that it looks like the two of you are _together._ In that music festival kind of way where you pair up with someone for the weekend, and you hang out, and you go your separate ways at the end. That’s all. And whatever you two do is up to you, but my guess is that he hasn’t kissed _you_ yet. He’s not really the type to take the initiative like that. So I’m asking _you,_ instead of asking _him._ I don’t have to ask him. I already know what his answer is. So: have _you_ kissed him yet?”

“No, and I wasn’t planning on it.” Taehyun finally eats that bite of steak.

Yeonjun eats one bite of cookie. “Why not?” Two remain.

“Because -- because he’s not my boyfriend.” Taehyun blushes and looks down at his plate. He was so used to kissing and other ‘things’ being exclusive to a boyfriend or a girlfriend. If Soobin isn’t his boyfriend, then Taehyun is off the hook.

Yeonjun is one step ahead of Taehyun. “Would you want him to be?”

“I --” Taehyun stops himself. Soobin is _actually perfect boyfriend material._ He’s nice, kind, always thinks of others, isn’t loud or rude, and he looks great, too. In fact, if Taehyun really thinks about it, Soobin is everything that he would look for in a boyfriend. 

“Okay, new question,” Yeonjun says. “Do you want to kiss him?”

Taehyun can’t lie to Yeonjun. Not when Yeonjun looks at him like _that._ “Yeah.”

“So, why haven’t you?”

“I already told you. He’s not my boyfriend, and he’s never going to be.”

“So what’s stopping you from making him your boyfriend, right now?”

Taehyun pictures the image in his brain of Soobin, somehow his boyfriend, going on a date with him to a fancy restaurant, or going to see Christmas lights, or to the Great Escape amusement park. He feels his face light up. “I just -- okay, look, guys don’t date guys up here, right? That’s not how this works. I date a girl, and then we get married, and that’s just life.” He’s quiet for a moment, and then, “It doesn’t matter what I want.”

Yeonjun mulls over that statement for a moment, the weight of those words, _it doesn’t matter what I want._ He eats another cookie piece. Two down, one to go. “Why shouldn’t it matter what you want?”

“Because -- because I never get what I want.”

“And what is it that you want?”

Yeonjun isn’t expecting the answer. “I wanted more people at my set. I wanted people to actually enjoy my music, instead of it just being...my friends and whoever might show up. I shot myself in the foot. Soobin is right. If I’m going to get anywhere with my music, I need to start building a following. I need to assert myself. Or maybe I just need to do that remix of some Waeng music like Soobin was talking about.”

“It sounds like Soobin is your biggest fan. Do you think that will fade just because he’s going back to New York City tomorrow?”

Taehyun hadn’t had a chance to weigh that last word yet. _Tomorrow._ It’s too soon. And he suddenly gets what Yeonjun means, what he’s been pressing on about for the last five minutes. It’s staring him straight in the eye, like he’s always known exactly what he wanted, that this path would lead him here, to NeoNara, _to Soobin,_ and to a place where his music finally mattered.   
  
“My dad doesn’t like my music,” he finally confesses. “He thinks it’s trash. He wants me to stand on stage and play a guitar, but I can’t really play any instruments. I don’t want to. I just kind of want to do my own thing, and make my mixes. But I -- I forget you’re not Soobin, I told Soobin this, I got started DJ’ing dances at my school. And to see everybody else so happy and having fun...it felt like I was on top of the world. Being alone on the stage here was the exact opposite. It felt like I had let everybody else down. Until Soobin showed up, and maybe…”

“You really want this,” Yeonjun says, when what he really means is _you really want him._ He eats the last bit of cookie.

Taehyun nods, tears springing to his eyes. “I’m tired of my dad saying I’m a washout for not going to college right out of high school, and my mom to actually care instead of just saying to pray all the time, and for my friends to actually come to something I do for once! I’ve been to swim meets, concerts, races, games, you name it, I’ve done it. But if they weren’t already going to it, they won’t come to my stuff. It’s like I’m the least important person in the group. Like, if we were all riding bikes together, I would fall and nobody would stop to help me up, and I’d be left, all alone. But Soobin --” His voice cracks, just a bit. “He seems like the type of guy who wouldn’t do that. I mean, he helped me wrap up my set once it was done!”

“I can verify that he really is that kind of a person,” Yeonjun says back to Taehyun. This is the time where he has to be careful. He can’t reveal too much information, but he has to play his cards right. “And honestly, if you kissed him, I don’t think he would mind.”

“You -- you don’t?”

“Honey, he’s enjoyed being around you all weekend. Am I wrong?”

Taehyun pauses to absorb this information, then because Taehyun Rhodes isn’t stupid, he understands. “Okay. So even if I kissed him and he was like, _no homo, bro,_ I think we’d still stay friends.”

Yeonjun is cackling in his mind, unseen, fully aware of the plan he is enacting. But Yeonjun on the surface just nods. “I one hundred percent agree. I can’t tell you what Soobin is thinking, and I don’t know if he likes guys. But I also don’t know if he likes girls. So I think you stand a real chance at this. And if you fail, well, at least you’ll still have a really good friend who’s also going to help you with your career. And I think Soobin is sincere about that part, as well.” 

Taehyun nods, twirling spaghetti on his fork and eating it. “I think I understand. Look, I’ll do it if I think it’s right to. I’m not gonna push anything.”

“But if you see a chance, I would take it.” Yeonjun does that hair-bangs-head-flip thing again, staring into Taehyun’s eyes. “You wouldn’t want to live life with any regrets, now, would you?”

Yeonjun’s voice is still ringing through Taehyun’s ears as he finishes eating. Yeonjun is called over by a staff member to check on an artist who has disappeared, and Soobin returns, this time with Kai, to get food for the band. The cymbals and cord bag were soaked completely through; the cymbals are salvageable, while all of the cables will need to be replaced. “A pain, but nothing we can’t Kickstart our way out of,” Kai says. “Beomgyu’s already got a plan. He always has a plan.”

“That’s good. I would feel horrible if any of your instruments were really damaged.” Taehyun glances back at Soobin again, but his attention is fully on Kai. It’s clear to Taehyun how much Soobin cares about his friend’s band. Instead of dwelling on this, he wonders if Soobin could show the same attention to Taehyun’s own craft. 

He tells himself that it’s possible. For the next twenty-four hours, he’s not going to think a single negative thought, and he’s going to enjoy his time with Soobin at the Polaris Rider concert. If he gets a kiss out of that, then that’s even better. 

Since the set time has shifted a bit, Taehyun invites both Yeonjun and Kai, as well as Soobin, back to his RV for some card games. This time, Slap Jack makes more sense with four people squished around a small booth. Soobin and Kai sit on one side, with Yeonjun and Taehyun on the other. Taehyun can’t help but notice that Kai, most of the time, isn’t looking at the cards -- he’s looking straight at Yeonjun, like he’s the most beautiful thing in the world.

 _Is everybody at this festival gay?_ he wonders to himself, remembering how Shelly had her girlfriend Angel. But no, Beomgyu mentioned having a long distance girlfriend. Maybe he just lucked into a supportive group by happenstance. He hadn’t met any Korean people until this weekend, and he had only met one or two other gay people before this weekend as well. But now, he’s surrounded with all different flavors and types of people. 

And Soobin.

 _Would Soobin mind if he kissed him? Should he ask first?_ Taehyun’s been kissed many a time before, so he knows how to do it, but he’s never kissed a _man_ before. Is it any different than kissing a woman? Is it --

He jolts as someone slaps his wrist. Looking up, he sees it’s Yeonjun. “Get your head in the game!” he whispers, and Taehyun realizes that he’s been missing out on at least three slapjacks.

“Damnit.” He rolls up the sleeves to the orange sweater that he has temporarily put on and claims the next four rounds.

Yeonjun then leaves to go check out the SQRL-X set. SQRL-X’s name is as mysterious as he is, a magical DJ who claims to be from a war torn world, playing pseudo-patriotic music from all around his world. It’s a very niche genre, but it has a huge following in New York City, and Taehyun can hear the noise all the way over in the RV section. 

The food tent only stays open until nine PM, so before Taehyun and Soobin head over for the Polaris Rider event, they stop by one of the food stands, and Taehyun grabs Soobin a “butter on a stick.” And, true to fashion, Soobin wonders _why_ it exists. They throw it away and Soobin buys a corn dog instead, then buys something called a mozzarepa for Taehyun. “They have these at street fairs in the city all the time,” he explains. 

Taehyun bites into the small pancake mess -- it’s something corn and something cheese and entirely, sinfully delicious. “I don’t know what this is, but it’s amazing, and I want, like, five of them. It would ruin my diet.”

“Oh, you’re on a diet?”

“Not a diet -- I used to box in high school, so I had to stay fit. But I suppose that’s over now.” Taehyun reaches around his middle, over his orange sweater, and squeezes just a bit. “Never gonna be that handsome again.” 

He realizes _way_ too late that he’s flirted, and he waits for a reaction from Soobin. But he doesn’t get one. Looking up, he notices Soobin is more focused on his corn dog, and he’s not sure if that’s a blush on his cheeks or not. 

They then stop by the RV one more time to drop Taehyun’s sweater off, and then _it’s show time._ Crowds upon crowds of people are flocking toward the Sperry Music Arena. The vast majority of them are dressed in some kind of rave gear, already decked out in glowsticks. A good number of people are dressed more alternatively, in gothic clothing, with chains around their waists and collars around their necks. Taehyun watches as an entire group of girls in leotards passes by with hula hoops, lit up like glowsticks. 

“This is insane,” he whispers.

“Ehh.” Soobin shrugs his shoulders. “It’s normal.”

“This is normal?”

“In New York City, it is. You have to remember that girls can go topless in public there.”

Taehyun pauses, mouth open, and Soobin just laughs. “Got your mental image?”

“Ugh. No. That’s just -- wrong, on so many levels.” But as they walk together, Taehyun can’t help but wish he had a glowstick of his own. The orange one from last night’s Merm4id concert has long died out. 

The pathway from the fair rides to the Sperry Music Arena is so busy that the staff are only funneling in so many people at one time. Taehyun, for a moment, wonders if Soobin will get lost, so he takes a chance. He reaches over and grabs Soobin’s hand, interlacing his fingers with his own. “Don’t get lost,” he says, and now he’s confident there’s a blush on Soobin’s face. 

His brain goes at a mile a minute, wondering what the consequences of this are going to be -- but Taehyun shoves that all aside. _Not now, brain. Now, we go to the concert, and we have fun, and we think about the consequences later. Or, at the very least, we ask Yeonjun or Soobin’s band for help. I actually think they would help if I asked them._

The stage is set up in a different pattern than it had been last night for Merm4id. The mid stage catwalk has been removed, and in the back is one huge screen instead of a couple of smaller ones. The DJ stand this time is _massive,_ and Taehyun notices the subwoofers have been traded out for more expensive models. This is what happens when a big name from the city signed to a label comes down to play; she brings all of her gear with her. 

And the crowd is _insane._ Since they had to rope off some of the grassy areas that hadn’t recovered from the sudden freak storm, most everybody is squished towards the front, with little room to move. Taehyun decides that he and Soobin will have to stick towards the back for this show -- which is fine for him, because it’s still a great view, considering the smaller size. 

Staff members are patrolling the area, making sure that nobody steps in the marked off areas and passing out glowsticks. Taehyun tugs on Soobin’s hand, and they run over and grab two. This time, Taehyun gets to pick his color; he picks yellow, while Soobin picks a sky blue. “Perfect,” Soobin says.

Taehyun wonders if he has anything to say before the show starts. Like last night, he fully anticipates that once the show begins, it will be too loud for him to understand anything that Soobin is saying. But nothing comes to mind.

“You know,” Soobin starts.

Taehyun freezes, suddenly nervous.

“I’m glad I came here with you.” Soobin finally lets go of Taehyun’s hand and smiles. “This has been a lot of fun. More fun than if I had stuck with Waeng the entire time. I don’t really know how to thank you, but…”

“Well, you’re here with me now. So let’s just have a fun time, and then that can be your thank you.”

It’s right at that moment that the atmosphere changes. The generic music is turned down. The crowds start screaming. And Taehyun holds onto Soobin’s hand again, yellow lightstick in his left, Soobin’s hand in his right, not sure what to expect next. 

The monitors that had the _NeoNara_ logo on them fade to black. The fog machine starts up. A low, rumbling noise can be heard. Strobe lights flicker. Suddenly, where there was nobody, there is somebody, standing behind the DJ decks, a shadow of a person putting on headphones and spinning the turntables a few times. 

Out of nowhere, a voice that Taehyun swears he recognizes cuts through the crowd.

_Let the stars dance through the midnight sky_

_Let them shine, and fly up high_

_I beg you, soon you will see_

_For you and for me_

The lights flash on. The bass kicks in. Everything accelerates. And Polaris Rider lands at NeoNara with a spectacular bass drop.

Taehyun and Soobin join the crowd in jumping as Polaris launches into her first song. Taehyun now knows this song -- this is _Dominion,_ one of Polaris’ first tracks that she had ever posted on her SoundCloud. From the first seconds of her show, she is commanding the crowd. The strobe lights are going crazy, and everything is lit up in rainbow colors. 

_Hey, do you remember the day we said_

_“Let’s go to the end of time?”_

_Took a moment to think, ‘cause gas isn’t cheap_

_Spent a penny, a quarter, and a dime_

_We got in the car, my pet dog came along_

_I remember when you said how random I was_

_When we got to the end_

_We could see forever_

_And it all made sense_

The mix has been changed just a bit, optimized for a festival crowd, but Taehyun is enjoying it. He looks over, and Soobin is as well. It must be lucky being that tall; Taehyun can only grasp glimpses of Polaris over the crowd. She’s mostly hidden behind the decks from his vantage point. 

_As long as you believe_

_It doesn’t matter if you’re big or small_

_As long as you believe in your dreams, that’s all --_

He remembers how he had sat in his basement, posting his tracks on SoundCloud because a friend of his told him he should. Right at the top of his page, under the _recommended_ section, was this artist he had never heard before. The first track he had heard by her was --

 _and there it was,_ the sudden changeup that nobody expected. A softer voice sings this song, punching against the famous motif that had made _Hello Courage_ an instant hit on SoundCloud. Taehyun smiles. He had first heard this song in his basement, all alone, and now he is sharing this experience with thousands of other people...and Soobin.

_Hello, courage, been a while since we met_

_I remember, baby, how could I forget?_

_We used to be friends a long time ago_

_But we lost contact when it started to snow_

_So, courage, I’m sorry that I haven’t found you yet_

Taehyun finds himself singing along with the lyrics, jumping to the beat, bobbing his head with the half-time dance break in the middle, then catching his breath when the soft piano melody cascades over the crowd. He cranes his neck to catch a glimpse of Polaris and finally sees her. She _glows,_ like a radiant Lady Gaga bathed in stardust. Polaris’ hair is shining and silver, like it is made of the stars themselves, glittering all the different colors of the rainbow. Her silver leotard is holographic, and she wears an attached rainbow cape off the shoulder. She has glitter around her eyes and silver bracelets on her hands, tight and secure so they stay off her decks. 

She is a goddess.

Taehyun wants to be just like her. Maybe less glitzy, but that sound -- he wants to match _that sound._

_Hello, courage, I don’t want to run away_

_I am happy knowing that you’re here to stay_

_All my life, you’ve been my shining star_

_If I could just find my way to where you are_

_No, I won’t stop until I find the light of day_

She fades into a different track, and Taehyun recognizes this one as well, though it isn’t Polaris. It is impossible to miss Zedd -- he is a DJ from Russia who lives in Germany, making remixes and posting them. This is one of his first big releases. Taehyun remembers how Zedd had been on the Late Show with David Letterman, and how Zedd had performed an acoustic version of his song, Clarity, with a girl he didn’t know. The flavors were completely different, but it just showed Zedd’s amazing range, and Taehyun knows this guy has a huge career in his future.

_Breathing you in when I want you out_

_Finding our truth in a hope of doubt_

_Lying inside our quiet drama_

_Wearing your heart like a stolen dream_

_Opening skies with your broken keys_

_No one can blind us any longer_

Taehyun notices that there are elements being put in the song that aren’t Zedd’s, but Polaris’. _God, I admire her for that._ Taehyun glances over at Soobin. Does he fully understand the magic that is being created here? Or is he just gonna go dance on cardboard again?

He tugs on Soobin’s sleeve, not sure how to ask him. But the song’s chorus lights ablaze, stealing the words out of Taehyun’s mouth.

_We'll run where lights won't chase us_

_Hide where love can save us_

_I will never let you go_

_Spectrum_ crossfades into another track that Taehyun has never heard before, something with a lot of synths and a piano melody that floats over everything else. It sounds like a true blue EDM track, punching out of thin air, building up the rhythm until the beat drops again. This feels so traditional, like something Polaris would have written herself. Did she write it? Taehyun will have to check after the set on her website -- Polaris always posts what songs she is playing, but only after the performance is done.

She also isn’t keen on kids having their cell phones out to record her and post it on the Internet. Sometimes she will have professional record special sets of hers, but they are called there specifically to make the recording. Most of the time, she wants people to actually come to the set and experience it live. It’s not something you can replicate on the Internet, no matter how hard you try.

The buildup soars as someone’s voice starts to sing. This isn’t Polaris -- it isn’t her high pitched voice that Taehyun has heard on some recordings, and it’s not Emmaline Wheaton, who sings on her tracks occasionally.

_Give me release_

_Let the waves of time and space surround me_

_Yeah, cause I need room to breathe_

_Let me float back to the place you found me_

_I'll be okay_

The synths crash _right_ into one of the most popular and mainstream EDM songs known to mankind -- Levels by Avicii. The crowd goes crazy, and Polaris leans forward into her microphone. She isn’t known for hyping the audience often, but when she does, it is mostly through _pure screaming._

“Let’s go, NeoNara!”

Then, _everybody_ is on their feet. Taehyun stays by Soobin’s side, both still jumping, caught up in the rhythm and the feel, becoming one with the music. Taehyun didn’t feel this way when he was at Merm4id’s set the night before -- they were awesome performers, and the DJ was great, but _this_ is pure magic. It is like someone had said _abracadabra_ and transformed him into something he wasn't. 

_Like King Solomon._

_God,_ Taehyun thought to himself. He raises his hands, caught up in the beat of Levels. He feels the past disappear. He remembers what David -- no, what Yeonjun had said. 

Taehyun had arrived at NeoNara as Terry Rhodes, King Solomon.

He was _not_ leaving with the same name. 

_You're a shooting star I see, a vision of ecstasy_

_When you hold me, I'm alive_

_We're like diamonds in the sky_

_At first sight I felt the energy of sun rays_

_I saw the life inside your eyes_

This is Rhianna, Taehyun is sure of it, and this has to be one of Polaris’s new remixes. Taehyun’s never heard this one before. It hasn’t been posted on SoundCloud, or anywhere else, for that matter. 

He feels Soobin tap on his soldiers, and Taehyun turns toward the taller man. Soobin grabs both of Taheyun’s hands, swinging them as they both jump, much closer to the ground now. There are all sorts of people around, and everybody is watching Polaris save for the two of them. Soobin is saying something, and Taehyun almost strains to hear what is being said, but he realizes Soobin is mouthing the words to the song.

_So shine bright, tonight, you and I_

_We're beautiful like diamonds in the sky_

He joins in.

_Eye to eye, so alive_

_We’re beautiful like diamonds in the sky_

Then, Soobin grins. Who needs communication when you have music?

The Rhianna song slowly fizzles out to a mid-show track, soft piano and strings giving the dancers a break for approximately thirty seconds. “NeoNara, how are you tonight?” Polaris calls out, and the entire crowd answers with a deafening scream that leaves Taehyun disoriented. For a minute, he can’t hear anything at all. His vision goes fuzzy. His right ear starts ringing. What would it be like, to have so many people screaming your name like this, so loud and so in unison that you actually suffer hearing loss as a result?

“I am so glad to see every single one of you,” Polaris says over the synth pad that is playing. “Thank you all for coming out tonight. NeoNara wouldn’t be the same without every single one of you. We’re just getting started, but I’d like to play something that I promised I would play for you.”

And then, she launches _straight_ into Party Rock Anthem. 

The kids go _nuts._ Glow sticks go flying in the air. Half of the crowd starts spontaneously shuffling. Soobin is one of those, and Taehyun just watches in amazement as he cuts a rug on the still wet grass. Then, he sings along with the crowd.

_Party Rock is in the house tonight!_

_Everybody just have a good time!_

_And we gon’ make you lose your mind!_

_Everybody just have a good time!_

_This is the most ridiculous song in the world,_ Taehyun thinks to himself, but then he sees Soobin leave his side. “Soobin!”

Taehyun doesn’t want to lose sight of him, so he starts maneuvering his way through the crowd, closer and closer toward the stage. Thankfully Soobin’s blue hair is still easy to see; all of the lights keep shining on the crowd even though it is dark out. He eventually gets close enough to tug on Soobin’s shirt; Soobin turns back, then smiles, mouths a “Come on!” and grabs Taehyun’s hand.

 _What new adventure am I being pulled on?_ Taehyun thinks until they get to the very front of the crowd, breaking through. The bass is _so deafening_ here that it rattles Taehyun’s thoughts. Everybody is still shuffling. And Polaris Rider is _inviting people on stage to dance._

Soobin waves at one of the security guards, as several are posted all along the stage to ensure that nobody unwanted jumps on stage. The guard nods at Soobin, then escorts him to the side of the stage. Soobin, of course, pulls Taehyun with him, over to the stairs and up onto the stage. Taehyun thinks he is going to be _nauseous._ There are _so many people in the crowd,_ and all of them are dancing, waiting for the beat to drop.

_Get up, get down_

_Put your hands up to the sound_

_Get up, get down_

_Put your hands up to the sound_

“What the hell are you doing?” Taehyun screams. With the beat still growing, Soobin can stand a chance of hearing him. “We can’t dance!”

“I know!” Soobin says back with a smile. “I wanted you to see the view from the stage! King Solomon!”

It hits Taehyun just as the beat drops. And then Soobin grabs his hands again, and they dance on stage to Party Rock Anthem, in front of what has to be thousands of other people, not too far from where Polaris Rider has her decks. Soobin twirls Taehyun, then ends up with him too close for Taehyun’s liking, then spins him back out. 

_Does he know? Did Daniel Choi say something to Soobin? Does Soobin even like me?_ But when Taehyun looks back out over the screaming crowd, Soobin is forgotten. He could be here, in a matter of years, playing on this same stage as Polaris, performing as King Solomon. Not to say he wouldn’t play other festivals, but...for someone thinking about quitting after Friday’s performance, this seemed like a pipe dream.

And Soobin has already brought him here.

 _This is what it’s like, Taehyun,_ it felt like Soobin was saying. _This is what it’s like to stand on the biggest stage in the festival. And you’ve got to work hard to get there, but I’m your first fan, so I’m gonna help you get the rest of the way, okay?_

Then, with no warning, Soobin jumps off the stage.

Taehyun cries out in shock, but Soobin reappears; he has jumped out far enough that the crowd in front has caught him, and he sits comfortably on someone’s shoulders. “Come on in!” he yells.

“I am NOT jumping off the stage!” Taehyun yells back.

Soobin is on the shoulders of some white dude bro who has clearly done this before; there are a couple of other guys who are nearby. They beckon to Taehyun, and once the security guards give them clearance, they go right up to the front of the stage. “You can jump now, right?”

“I guess.” Taehyun crouches down on the stage and jumps into one man’s arms, who then easily hoists Taehyun over his shoulders. The other man grabs Taehyun’s legs, and they push him toward the sky, arms outstretched. Taehyun feels like Baby in the Dirty Dancing movie, right at the end, where Patrick Swayze is holding her up. 

The bros move back toward the crowd, and Taehyun literally flies right toward Soobin. “You made it!” Soobin screams as Polaris fades out from LMFAO and into Krewella.

_Meet me under shining lights_

_I've been waiting right here all my life_

_Feelings you can't deny that you're living, open up your eyes_

The guys adjust Taehyun so that he’s on someone’s shoulders now, and he laughs, holding hands with Soobin. When the chorus hits, they all sing together.

_All alone, just the beat inside my soul_

_Take me home, where my dreams are made of gold_

_In the zone where the beat is uncontrolled_

_I know what it feels like_

_Come on make me feel alive_

The music slows down again, more space age pads and whirlygigs playing in the background. Soobin pulls Taehyun in by the shoulder, and for a split second, Taehyun thinks Soobin is going to kiss him, right now, while they are both still airborne on the shoulders of people they don’t know. But Soobin just pulls him in so Taehyun can hear him.

“Isn’t this fun?”

“Yeah,” Taehyun screams back.

“I’m so glad I’m here with you,” Soobin yells back, and Taehyun can tell it’s authentic, and then Polaris’ voice echoes out into the crowd.

“The rainbow is a symbol of the LGBTQ community, one that I am proud to be a part of. We raise our flags high as a reminder to the world: We aren’t going anywhere! We are here to stay! If you are gay and proud of it, let me hear your voice! If you are trans and proud of it, let me hear your voice!”

It stole Taehyun’s breath away, and he went for it, screaming at the top of his lungs. Soobin, meanwhile, stared back in shock. If he had been waiting for a sign, _this was it._

“You all know that I always end my festival sets with a little bit of color and a lot of fun,” Polaris continues. “But before I begin, there’s something you all must know. You’ve seen pictures online, I’m sure, of people at festivals throwing colored powder at each other. First of all, that colored powder originates from the Holi festivals in India. It should _not_ be appropriated outside of that festival. That’s something special, but it’s not for us. We are _not_ celebrating Holi tonight. What we have chosen to do, is that we are setting off nontoxic, colored paint in cannons that are set up all over the arena. This stuff will get on your clothes and on your face, but I know a lot of you came prepared, right?” 

The crowd echoes back with a loud _yes!_

“Good. Now, there will be a steady stream of paint coming out of the cannons. It’s not straight liquid, but it’s not Holi powder, either! I’ve worked with my vendors to provide something colorful for you all, while refusing to appropriate something sacred as a White artist. So while you may run through the cannons, you are not allowed to touch them or interfere with them in any way. Holi puts the power of setting off the color in the hands of the people. Here, I hold that power, and I refuse to appropriate that power, but I still want all of you to have a fun time. I know many of my fans have done the research, am I right?” There are more screams from the crowd; lots of them know what to expect. Taehyun knows Polaris has an entire section of her website dedicated to this moment in her concerts. This is what his friends had wanted to come to -- what he gets to go to alone instead.

But not _really_ alone.

“All right, if you do _not_ want paint on your clothes, you’re gonna move toward the center of the crowd. The color cannons are on the edges.” Polaris grins. “Let’s get started, shall we?”

There are more cheers as Taehyun hears several _bangs_ go off all over the arena. This is it: the moment he’s dreamed of. The moment the Rainbow Connection goes off. He thinks for a fleeting second that he shouldn’t be here without his friends, but then he remembers Soobin is here. 

_And he just outed himself, in a way, in front of Soobin._ In fact, it is the first time Taehyun has ever considered being not-straight out loud. It fills him with a power he didn’t know he had. Things make sense, for the first time in a long time. 

_I’m gay._

_Holy shit._

The dudebros put Taehyun and Soobin down off their shoulders as the crowd scatters. Polaris is now playing her famous remix of _The Rainbow Connection,_ a song for a children’s movie that most everybody knows at this point:

_Why are there so many songs about rainbows_

_And what's on the other side?_

_Rainbows are visions, but only illusions_

_And rainbows have nothing to hide_

“Come on!” Soobin yells, but it’s Taehyun who takes his hand and runs toward the nearest color cannon, which appears to be green. True to Polaris’ statement of appropriation, this is not a color run, and nobody has cups of powder in their hands. Instead, if you want paint on your clothes, you stand under one of the cannons and get doused. The paint is non-toxic, made partially of chalk, and washes out of most clothes, but Taehyun knows that if he lets it sit and washes it a certain way, the paint will stay in his t-shirt.

 _That_ was the real reason he brought all of those white t-shirts to NeoNara. He had been expecting more people to use them. Now, it was just him and Soobin.

Soobin pushes Taehyun under the range of the cannon, and Taehyun can feel the atmosphere around him change. The paint gets in his hair first, and then he feels it hit his shoulders, permeate through the fabric, settling on his arms. He does his best to block it from his eyes and ears, then runs out and grabs Soobin, pulling him under. 

“We shouldn’t stay under for that long, silly!” he yells, shoving Soobin under the cannon. And Soobin’s blue hair turns a bright green in an instant.

_So we've been told, and some choose to believe it_

_I know they're wrong, wait and see_

_Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection_

_The lovers, the dreamers, and me_

“You look like Oscar the Grouch,” Taehyun yells after Soobin comes out from under the cannon. Sure enough, Soobin got it even worse than Taehyun had; his entire shirt is now green.

“What’s that?”

Taehyun is almost in shock until he remembers Soobin grew up in Korea. “Uh, I’ll tell you later! Let’s go get you blue again! Bloo-bin!”

He grabs Soobin’s arm, and together they run hand in hand for the next cannon. People are running straight through the cannon, stripes of paint decorating their clothes. Taehyun does the same, a long streak of blue coloring his back. Then, he makes Soobin stick his entire head under the cannon like a faucet. He covers Soobin’s eyes while Soobin covers his ears, but when he’s done, Soobin’s hair is back to blue.

“Gotta shake some of it out,” Taehyun says as he reaches up and brushes a bunch of the paint out so it doesn’t shake back into Soobin’s eyes.

Soobin smiles, grabs Taehyun’s arms, and pulls them around him in a hug. “Taehyun, Taehyun, Taehyun,” he chants, and Taehyun feels safe in this moment, screams all around him, Polaris still playing her song. She winds down as Soobin lets go. “Is it over?”

“Not yet. She’s still got other stuff to play. But the cannons will keep going. Wanna go see?”

They run through the purple cannon this time. Taehyun thinks Soobin looks like one of those 90’s cup designs when he’s done, stripes of blue and purple set against his green shirt. Then, they cut across the arena ground, avoiding the roped off areas and going over to the pink cannon. The song has changed now to a progressive house track, and as Soobin does a cartwheel through the cannon, Taehyun can’t help but listen in. He hasn’t heard this song before.  
  


_I was on a mission to find myself and everything that I ever wanted_

_You were on a mission to take from me everything that you ever wanted_

“Gotcha!” Soobin yells as he throws something at Taehyun’s face. When he turns, he realizes his entire face is pink on the left side.

“You can’t throw it! That’s appropriation!” Taehyun tackles Soobin, pushing him back into the pink cannon.

“What’s that?” Soobin calls back.

Taehyun wonders how much of a conversation he can get into about cultural appropriation with someone who’s not white, and he suddenly remembers he’s _also_ not white. “We’ll talk about it later, just don’t throw it or you’ll get in trouble.”

“Oh.” Soobin reaches over to Taehyun’s face, wiping some of the paint off of his face. Taehyun freezes, heart beating a million miles a minute, but then Soobin pulls away, showing off his hand. They’re far away enough that they can hear one another. “I got you good, though.”

“You did. Let’s go get the other colors.” And they streak through orange and yellow, turning in circles, dancing to the song Polaris is playing, then returning to their spot by the pink cannon.

_No, I won’t say sorry for the way you taught me_

_That a girl can’t live on her own_

_And I won’t forget you_

_And the way you stayed true to yourself no matter where you go_

From this far away, Taehyun can get a perfect vantage point on the stage. There are other people on the stage with her now; probably those special guests she had been talking about on her blog. From the way the mix is going, it looks like she’s winding down. He looks down at his shirt. Different colors are everywhere, mixed together, orange overlapping green overlapping blue. It’s a thing of beauty. But when he looks over at Soobin, with his now-green shirt base, he thinks Soobin is _even_ more beautiful.

Even if nothing comes of this, he’s admitted the truth to himself. There’s no going back now.

He’s got a _lot_ to fix when he gets home.

“Thank you all for coming out tonight!” Polaris yells over the PA, and the crowd goes nuts again. “I’ve got one more song for you, one I’ve been promising for some time. But I just wanted to take some time to thank you for making me a part of your NeoNara celebrations. It means the world to me, it really does. Now, how many lovers do I have in the crowd?”

Screams come up from everywhere. Taehyun can’t resist grabbing a glance at Soobin. 

Their eyes meet.

“Now, what would happen if you lost your lover? You would do anything in your power to get them back, wouldn’t you?”

More screams. Taehyun finds himself unable to breathe. 

Soobin walks straight toward him.

“This is the story of two people, who fell in love, lost each other, and fought their way back to each other against all odds. I leave you with this reminder: that love conquers all. This is the Song For Fury!”

The cheers draw Taehyun’s attention back away from Soobin and to the stage. Polaris is still at her deck, but there is one person on stage, a woman, hands raised up in the sky, microphone in one hand. She suddenly grows two extra limbs, then steps apart as one shadow becomes two. The lights click on with the proper beginning of the track, which transitions straight into an old school house track.

Taehyun recognizes the woman immediately: it’s Emmaline Wheaton, lead singer of Walking on Starlight. They’re a guest tomorrow, so it makes sense for her to be here. Emmaline has sung on a bunch of Polaris’ original tracks; Polaris can sing, but her voice is too nasally to be commercially acceptable. But he has no clue who the man is. His hair is a platinum blonde, styled like an idol, and he manages to notice from this far away that the man is East Asian, beautifully sculpted, not a day over eighteen. They’re both dancing, and they both have microphones, and _is this a duet?_

Taehyun feels Soobin put his hand on his shoulder. “Did you get tired?”

“A little bit. I want to watch this.” Taehyun’s eyes turn back to the singers as the man starts to sing. There’s something almost otherworldly about his voice, like it’s not actually his at all, a soft tenor that is missing the emotion that a normal singer properly has.

_The light is fading from the afterglow_

_The battle’s over and I’m slowly dying_

Then Emmaline cuts in with her part. Her brash soprano, originally classically trained, cuts through the NeoNara night air like a knife, a full 180 from the man’s voice.

_I can’t deny that I’ve been here before_

_But what’s the use if there is no sense trying_

The two trade parts, back and forth, moving across the stage, caught in some intricate dance. “Is this the last song?” Soobin asks.

Taehyun nods. “I think so. I just...wanted to see this.”

“Oh, we don’t have to go back yet. I’m okay with watching, too. I’m just surprised you’re not dancing.”

“She promised us we were all gonna get a new song. I just...didn’t think it would sound like this. There’s something different about this one.” Taehyun watched on as the two singers met in the middle, then sang in harmony.

_Inside my heart, I recognize your voice singing in my soul_

_Eternally as one_

_I wanna know, when everything is all said and done_

_Will our fury still live on?_

_Inside my heart, the battle rages on_

_And all that I can do is sing our song_

The bottom drops out of the track. The stage turns a light blue. Ethereal voices permeate the mix. Both singers stand still, and Polaris stands alone, at the top of it all, controlling everything, the goddess of NeoNara.

“You know,” Soobin mentions, “that’s gonna be you someday.”

Taehyun chuckles. “With a little bit of luck, I guess. Right?” He turns back toward Soobin. 

“Luck and hard work. That’s what Beomgyu always says.”

“I guess. I don’t know, luck’s never worked out for me.” Taehyun shrugs, but he wonders if he’s wrong this time. Luck brought him Soobin. “And anything I ever put hard work into just falls apart, so I figure why not even bother --”

Taehyun pauses. Soobin has his thumb on his mouth, keeping him from speaking. He looks up at Soobin.

“Don’t say that,” Soobin says. “Just -- don’t say that. You’ll make it. You will.” But he doesn’t move his thumb from Taehyun’s mouth, doesn’t move his eyes from Taehyun’s sight. Taehyun is all he can see, covered in paint, finally shut up long enough to believe he might be good at something. 

Emmaline’s voice cuts over the track again as Soobin leans forward.

_Inside my heart, I know I can’t go on anymore alone_

_Without the hope of your song carrying me along_

_But I know that you’re still around, singing with me now_

_You’ve now made your home --_

Taehyun can’t move. He knows he should be doing _something,_ but he’s powerless against his emotions. He’s usually so _logical,_ measures his next moves against statistics, doesn’t take chances, but this is new. _He’s never felt this way before._

Soobin’s other hand reaches up, brushing a paint-covered strand of brown hair out of Taehyun’s eyes. The touch is electric enough that Taehyun can’t handle it, closing his eyes in response, and it’s then that Soobin goes for it.

He leans forward, pressing his lips against Taehyun’s.

Everything else is forgotten.

_God._

_This is what this is supposed to feel like._

The song continues, the screaming echoes out across the arena, but it is a blur, unimportant. 

Taehyun wraps his arms around Soobin, sinking into the kiss, grabbing at his shirt just to remind himself that _this is real, this is really happening._ Every time that he’s kissed a girl before has never compared to _this._ And Soobin’s own hands cup Taehyun’s cheeks, delicate, as he kisses back. His fingers toy with Taehyun’s hair, just a bit. He tastes sugar and color paint and something else he can’t name, lost in emotion, not fully sure what he’s doing until Taehyun moves his lips against his.

_Oh._

Taehyun’s done this before. Soobin has not.

So he follows Taehyun’s lead, moving his lips against Taehyun’s, unaware that the mere touch of his lips could surprise him like this. The show is _completely_ forgotten at this point. All that exists is Taehyun, beautiful, unassuming Taehyun, wide-eyed Terry Rhodes, the King of NeoNara himself. His hands trail down from Taehyun’s hair to his shoulders, and it’s a bit awkward but Soobin wraps his own arms around the smaller boy’s frame, his arms on top of Taehyun’s.

_If this isn’t love, then this is pretty close._

He faintly hears the song end, faintly hears Polaris tell everybody goodbye, faintly hears the music be replaced with the generic EDM that plays at every stage in between acts. He faintly hears the crowd disperse, leaving the arena now that the show is over. But his only priority is learning how every millimeter of Taehyun’s lips feel against his own. 

And Taehyun is _gone._ He is never kissing another woman again.

Come to think of it, he’s pretty okay with never kissing anybody but Soobin again.

Soobin, who saw his show. Soobin, who made him believe it was possible to be more than he was. Soobin, who gave him a real name. Soobin, who leaned forward first, at the end of the most perfect show that Taehyun had ever seen. 

It is perfect.

And then Taehyun realizes _the show is done._

He pulls away from Soobin, glancing a look at the stage. Polaris Rider has left, as well as at least half of the concert goers. The color cannons have been turned off. The generic music is still playing, but probably not for much longer. There are staff members coming to clean things up, and they are starting to wave people from the front out of the arena. 

He glances back at Soobin. Their eyes meet. Then, they both laugh, and Taehyun takes Soobin’s hand and leads him out of the arena.

They don’t say a word as they run through the now closed food stands, past the rides that are closing down for the night, and over to the line of RVs. Taehyun whips out his keys, opening the door and climbing in, pulling Soobin in with him. 

The door has just enough time to shut behind Soobin before Taehyun pushes him up against it, both boys still in the stairwell that leads up to the RV’s interior. And Taehyun kisses Soobin this time, hands in his hair, pushing his entire body up against Soobin’s as the taller man wraps his arms around Taehyun’s waist. The concert is over, but Taehyun is _not done yet._

Soobin gasps into Taehyun’s kiss, now able to hear the small noises Taehyun is making, without having to battle the concert speakers for volume. He hears how Taehyun inhales, feels his breath against his face, notices how he instinctively gasps into Taehyun’s lips with each taste. This time, the more experienced kisser has Soobin trapped, and Soobin is _loving it._

Taehyun’s fingers work magic against Soobin’s scalp, sending small bits of now-drying paint flying with every movement. Soobin, helpless, lets him, as Taehyun’s fingers move down to his neck, then his shoulders. Taehyun pulls back for a split second, taking a breath before kissing Soobin again -- but it’s not a kiss, it feels more like a _bite_ as Taehyun traps Soobin’s lower lip, gently, between his teeth.

Soobin gasps.

Taehyun takes advantage of it, his plan working, and slips his tongue into Soobin’s mouth.

_Shit._

The moment their tongues connect, Soobin moans, _loud,_ the only sound in the RV as Taehyun keeps open-mouth kissing him. He hadn’t thought this far ahead, but now he can taste _all_ of Taehyun. And Taehyun licks his tongue against Soobin’s, slow, gentle, like he realizes Soobin has never done this before, like they have all the time in the world. 

His hands wander to Taehyun’s waist, then let go. He pulls apart from the kiss, just for a second. “Taehyun…”

Taehyun hasn’t let go of Soobin. His eyes are half-closed, like he just woke up from a dream. “Mmmn?”

“Taehyun --” Soobin is interrupted by another kiss -- “Taehyun, I hate having to say this, but --”

Taehyun pulls back.

_Shit._

_Did I do something wrong?_

“But I have to pee,” Soobin confesses, and Taehyun breathes a sigh of relief. 

“Okay, go, go,” he says, running up the stairs, letting Soobin escape down the hall to the small bathroom.

“I’ll be back,” Soobin says, with a note in his voice that means, _I want to kiss you again._ And when Soobin closes the door to the bathroom, Taehyun collapses into the dining room booth.

_Oh, my God._

_I kissed him._

_I kissed him!_

He stares at the ceiling for a moment, trying to compose himself, then he realizes that he shouldn’t be sleeping in his white t-shirt, now covered with paint that’s not quite dry yet. He should also probably wipe down before turning in for the night. He runs back to his bedroom, stripping off his clothing, then finding a fresh white t-shirt and his sleep pants. His legs are still stained with paint below where his shorts were, and his arms and face are still caked in the stuff. 

He finishes just as Soobin is done, then grabs another white T-shirt, pushing aside the curtain to find Soobin standing there. “There you are.”

“I didn’t go far.”

“You changed.”

“Yeah -- we shouldn’t sleep covered in paint. Do you want me to help you? You should get changed into something else first.” Taehyun gives Soobin the white t-shirt, then digs in the back, coming up with the spare pair of black sweatpants Soobin wore earlier while his shorts were drying. “Here. Change first, then we’ll get rid of this color on your face. But keep your shirt in one piece.”

“Should I change these here?”

“What?” Taehyun’s brain stops working for a second. “Uh, no, go in there to change. And give me your shirt, I want to keep them together…” _Because I want you to keep your shirt, as a reminder of tonight._

Soobin’s eyes meet Taehyun’s again. He steps forward, kissing him, holding it for a moment before pulling back and disappearing back into the bathroom. When he emerges, he is decent, new white T and black sweatpants offsetting the green and blue that he is stained with. Taehyun pulls him back into the bathroom, then turns the sink on.

“Do not drink this water,” he cautions Soobin, _very_ sternly. “And don’t wash the paint down the drain, either. It will clog and my parents won’t want to deal with that. Instead, just wipe as much off as you can. I’ll wash these later.” And he pulls out two massive towels. “I came prepared.”

He douses one corner of the towel, then wipes off most of his hair, all of his face, and then his arms. He rolls up his pants to get the lower part of his calves. Then, he makes Soobin sit on the now-closed toilet, and he wipes him down, quickly, before paint can get anywhere else. “That should be decent enough. Now all I have to do is get you some blankets.”

“Blankets?”

“You know, for the drop down bed. I was serious about you not staying in your tent…”

Soobin stands up. Taehyun suddenly realizes _they won’t be needing the extra bed._

It’s Soobin that pins Taehyun against the door this time, nearly _growling_ into the kiss, and Taehyun mewls against Soobin’s lips as his hands go to work. Then, with no warning, Soobin pulls the door latch, presses against the small of Taehyun’s back to get him to move, then opens the door. He pushes Taehyun out of the bathroom and to the right, still kissing him, and Taehyun waits to feel the bed against his feet.

He’s not expecting Soobin to nearly _lift_ him, pushing him onto the bed, comforter and pillows askew from last night’s lack of sleep. Soobin’s hands are still on Taehyun, knees pinning him to the bed, a strength he didn’t know he had mixed with an urge he _definitely_ didn’t know he had.

Taehyun pulls away for just a second. “The door --”

“Does it need locked?”

“Yeah.”

“Can I lock it?” The campground is lit up enough that the boys hadn’t needed to turn any lights on.

“Yeah, you just need to slide the little knob to the right.”

“Okay. Stay there.” Soobin is to the door and back in ten seconds. It doesn’t give Taehyun enough time to think about what is happening. It settles in his mind that maybe this is something they should talk about. _You’re supposed to talk about this stuff, right?_

Soobin pushes aside the curtains again. “Are you okay? Did you fall asleep on me already?”

“No,” Taehyun says with a laugh, and they meet in the middle again. This kiss is gentle, not nearly as rough as the one that started in the bathroom. For a split second, Soobin feels like Taehyun’s boyfriend.

“Soobin,” Taehyun whispers into his kiss, “what do you want to do?”

“With...with what?”

“With me.”

That is enough for Soobin to pin Taehyun to the bed again, molding against Taehyun, lips locked together in the endless war that the people on stage had just sang about. Then, Soobin flips Taehyun so he is now the one pinned against the bed, Taehyun on top of him, straddling Soobin’s waist.

“What are you --”

Taehyun pauses as Soobin has his thumb against his new white t-shirt, and then Soobin lifts it, just a little bit. There’s no motion to rip it off, no indication that Soobin is in any hurry. Instead, Soobin runs his thumb along Taehyun’s stomach, his soft fingers against Taehyun’s skin, brushing across his waist as gentle as a breeze.

Taehyun can’t breathe. It’s like _fireworks,_ all over again, just from a touch. Soobin isn’t even kissing him, and his body is reacting like this. _This isn’t fair._

“I had to sit there,” Soobin whispers, “and watch you try to take off that stupid orange sweater, and you took _way_ too damn long, and all I wanted to do was touch you, and --”

Taehyun shuts Soobin up with a kiss before he can go on. And Soobin doesn’t stop touching Taehyun, both hands snaking up Taehyun’s bare back, under his shirt, pulling him back to the bed, flush against him. Taehyun’s brain clicks off at some point, the only thing that matters is the man under him. He nips at Soobin’s bottom lip again, lost in euphoria, ready to lose sleep all over again if it means being here with Soobin all night.

“Soobin, Soobin...god, Soobin, don’t stop…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last song that Polaris plays at her set, "Song For Fury," is available on my AudioMack here:
> 
> https://audiomack.com/asterhythm/song/song-for-fury-feat-walking-on-starlight
> 
> Both Polaris Rider and Walking on Starlight are my original characters; they'll come in and out of the story, but they're not meant to be the focus. Because I own them, though, I can make their music. :D


	3. 2013: Sunday, Day Three

When Soobin wakes up, he realizes he has a  _ massive  _ headache.

And then he realizes that  _ he’s still in Taehyun’s RV.  _

He’s curled up in about five blankets, head squished between two pillows. The sun is shining in from a window somewhere unseen. It’s warm here, under the sea of blankets. Soobin curls up a bit more, happy with his cocoon. 

Last night trickles back to Soobin, slowly but surely. He smiles.  _ I kissed him. And we ended up back here, and we kissed some more… _ He reaches over to the other side of the bed and notices it is empty.

“Taehyun?”   


He sits up, finally noticing that he’s not in the paint-covered shirt from last night, and in a pair of black sweatpants that he doesn’t ever really remember putting on. He remembers coming back to the RV, but everything after that is a blur.  _ Did he get drunk?  _ No, he would know if he had something to drink. Soobin isn’t that irresponsible. But he knows that he doesn’t always remember what happens right before he falls asleep. Yeonjun has proven it before; they’ve been out at a club and Soobin won’t have remembered the entire bus ride back to Baruch.

He curls back up in bed.  _ Taehyun isn’t here, at least not in this room right now.  _ He’s probably elsewhere in the RV. Soobin just needs to let his thoughts settle, stop being so scatterbrained, and then go find him.

And then Soobin remembers it’s Sunday.  _ He has to go back to New York City today.  _ He groans into his pillow. This is gonna suck.

For a moment, he lets himself drift back to last night, trying to see what all he remembers. He recalls the color cannons and Polaris Rider and crowd surfing, and Taehyun’s lips against his. They  _ did  _ come back to the RV, and he remembers being pushed up against the door, but nothing after that. Soobin realizes his skin has been cleared of the rest of the paint, and in the corner are two shirts, still doused in paint. Soobin picks his out by the fact that it’s still mostly green, from the first cannon.

“Taehyun?” he calls out again, then, “Terry?”

He pulls himself out of bed, makes sure he’s decent, then pushes aside the curtain. There’s nobody in the living room, and he doesn’t hear anybody in the bathroom.  _ Taehyun has left.  _ He considers texting him, but remembers that A: Soobin has no service here, and B: he  _ still  _ doesn’t have Taehyun’s phone number!

“This is the worst,” he mutters as he walks back into the bedroom and collapses onto the bed again. He feels like drifting off until he hears the front door unlock, and then someone climbs up the stairs. Soobin throws off the covers and pushes the curtain aside, and  _ there he is _ , trying to finagle two plates of scrambled eggs with one hand and closing the door with the other.

Taehyun catches Soobin’s eye. He smiles at him. “I brought you breakfast.”

Soobin takes both plates of eggs and puts them on the kitchen counter. Then, he cups Taehyun’s cheeks with both hands and kisses him, sleepy lips against Taehyun’s, eyes only barely closing. Taehyun is surprised by the sudden kiss, but kisses him back.

“You came back.”

“Of course I did, this is my RV. Are you awake now?”

“Mmhmm.” Soobin wraps his arms around Taehyun, leaning his head on top of Taehyun’s. “You brought me eggs?”

“Yeah, I don’t know if it’s something you would like, but breakfast closes in a half hour, so it’s this or more fair food.”

“This is fine.” Soobin pulls back enough to kiss Taehyun on the cheek. “Should we sit?”

They do, pulling the plates over to the dining booth. Taehyun grabs a couple of bottles of water. When he sits down, Soobin immediately tangles his legs up with Taehyun’s, the two boys seated apart from one another. Soobin is thankful for the food; he hadn’t realized immediately how hungry he was until he took a bite.

“So,” he says, “what happened last night?”

Taehyun freezes. “What -- what do you mean?”

Soobin takes Taehyun’s hand. “My memories get foggy from right before I fall asleep. Yeonjun knows it happens to me all the time. I remember the concert, Taehyun. I just don’t know what else happened after we got back here. Like, I don’t remember how I got out of my shirt and into these pants.”

Taehyun nearly drops his fork. He takes a deep breath. This might get him in trouble, but he might as well say it. 

“...can I be honest?”

“You might as well be.”

“So to start with, we got into the RV and I cleaned both of us up, and I gave you extra clothes so you weren’t sleeping in paint. Did you see the shirts in the bedroom?”

“I did.”

“Okay, good, that shirt is still yours. If you want to set the color, instead of it washing out, I can give you the instructions. I came prepared for this.” Taehyun pauses. “And then you pinned me in the bathroom and you started making out with me. You practically threw me on the bed, and you...um…” He finally just says it. “You had a  _ raging  _ boner.”

“...oh.”

Taehyun can’t look Soobin in the eye. “And you...kind of wouldn’t let go of me. Like, I even told you that if you wanted to try something, I was pretty sure I had an extra condom _ somewhere  _ in this RV, but you wouldn’t let go of my arms long enough for me to check.”

Something unravels in Soobin’s mind at the mention of the word  _ condom.  _ “ _ OH.” _

“And then you kept mumbling something under your breath that I couldn’t hear…”

“...okay?”

Taehyun sits up. “And then you fell asleep.”

“Oh.” Soobin breathes a sigh of relief.

“I gotta be honest, though, you were kind of...what’s the word I’m looking for? Dominant?”

Soobin’s mouth hangs open. “What do you mean?”

“Soobin, for a bit there last night you were  _ growling  _ at me.”

Soobin can’t hold back anymore; he starts laughing, unable to contain it. “I don’t know, I was probably just going with it,” he says. “But I’m glad we didn’t do anything other than that. I’m not sure I would have been able to take it, I mean --” He laughs again. “I’ve never kissed anybody before.”

“You --” Taehyun laughs this time. “I’m glad, too. I’ve kissed lots of women, but you --” He chuckles as he eats another bite of egg.  _ You.  _ That’s it. That’s the answer. Taehyun is confident that, no matter how he runs this equation, Soobin will always come out as the answer. “I think that’s all there is to it.”

Soobin nods with a smile, staring at Taehyun. This time, Taehyun dares to stare back, at Soobin’s pretty eyes, his cute dimples, his little bunny smile, everything. It’s the first time he’s really allowed himself to do so without feeling guilty.  _ It probably will be the last. _

He finds himself blushing. “So, uh...I could have slept in the extra bed above the driver’s seat, was it okay that I slept next to you?”

“Yeah,” Soobin decides, out loud. “Yeah, it’s okay.”

There’s an awkward silence between them now. Soobin wants to close the distance between him and Taehyun, turn his pretty little face until he’s looking at Soobin again,  _ kiss him again,  _ spend all day kissing him and holding him close, even if nothing ever comes of it. Soobin doesn’t even know  _ what  _ would come of it still. He just knows he liked it. 

He doesn’t want it to end.

_ Why does it feel like it’s ending?  _

Reality trickles back to his mind, just a bit. It’s Sunday morning. In less than a day, he will be headed back to New York City. Taehyun will stay...here. A full Amtrak ride away, plus whatever other things might get in the way. On top of that, nobody knows he likes boys. Hell,  _ Soobin  _ didn’t know he liked boys until last night, so this was breaking news. 

News that was breaking his heart.

_ I have to go. Taehyun has to stay here. _

Soobin closes the gap anyway. He gets up from the booth, then slides in on the other side next to Taehyun. Taehyun looks up just in time for Soobin to wrap his arms around the smaller boy. 

“Can I just hold you for a minute?”

Taehyun nods, and he wraps his own arms around Soobin’s waist, and they stay like that, for five, maybe ten minutes. Neither of them are counting. If they look at the clock, maybe their time will already be up. 

“I can’t -- last night --” 

“Did you --”

“I mean -- Soobin, I --” Taehyun pulls away to properly look at Soobin, to try and form a coherent thought. But the moment he looks at Soobin, any chance of a coherent thought flies out the window. Instead, Taehyun kisses Soobin, this time soft, the memories of last night’s make out session only a memory. And Soobin kisses Taehyun back, soft, chaste, unmoving, trying his hardest to freeze this moment in time. 

Taehyun pulls away just enough to say, “You’re still wearing my shirt.”

Soobin looks down. “Oh, I am, aren’t I.”

“I don’t know if your clothing is dry or not. You can check. It’s just on the driver’s seat, with my stuff.”

_ I wish I could keep this shirt,  _ Soobin thinks,  _ because I have a feeling it will last longer than you will.  _ But when Soobin checks, his blue Waeng t-shirt is finally dry, as well as his shorts (which are still covered in paint). He gathers everything and changes in the bathroom, not even toying with the idea of being anything but modest.  _ I growled at him? I threw him on the bed?  _ Soobin looks in the mirror.  _ Would I do that again if I had the chance?  _ Then, he shakes his head.  _ Better not to have the chance right now. This sounds like another conversation with Yeonjun. _

_ And besides... _ He smiles back.  _ I’d rather get to know him more first before trying anything else. _

“Are you good to go?” Taehyun asks when Soobin emerges. He is now in a black t-shirt and the same baseball cap he wore during his King Solomon set.

Soobin nods, then shakes his head. “What is your plan for today?”

“Go home at some point?”

“Good. We don’t leave for the Amtrak station until five. Can we stay here?”

“I mean, we’ll have to get food at some point, but...yeah. Anything in particular you wanted to do, Soobin?”

Soobin shakes his head. “No, I don’t want to try any funny business. I just want to remember what it’s like to kiss you, when I leave.”

This time, Taehyun closes the gap. He  _ had  _ been talking about playing cards, but he’s glad to know they’re on the same page. Soobin giggles, then kisses him again, then leads him back to the back where there is room. They both kick off their shoes, then Soobin pulls Taehyun down to the bed, kissing him again, discarding his baseball cap. There’s no motion to make it more than what it is. It’s just Soobin, kissing Taehyun, because they want to. 

Come to think of it, Taehyun can’t remember the last time he did something he properly wanted to, just for the heck of it. 

_ Is this love? _

Taehyun doesn’t know.

What he does know is that being with Soobin has given Taehyun a clear mind...one that hasn’t been this clear in years. He has a plan:  _ Get home, text Soobin, make that Waeng remix, dump his friends.  _ He has new friends now. He doesn’t need to hang out with old high school buddies who don’t have his best interests at heart.  _ That’s gonna be the hardest part.  _ But if he can get Soobin to help --

Taehyun gasps; Soobin has tried to go for his bottom lip, but instead of softly nipping at it, he has  _ fully chomped down.  _ He pushes Soobin away a bit. “Oww! That hurt! Hang on, I gotta make sure you didn’t draw blood…” 

Soobin suddenly looks like he’s going to cry. “I -- I didn’t mean to…”

“No, it’s okay...okay, I don’t think it’s that bad. Look, when you do that, you want to suck, not bite.” Taehyun leans forward, kissing Soobin again, then sucking on his bottom lip. “You can also just lick their lips if you want in,” and he does so, demonstrating. Soobin opens his mouth, and their tongues collide just once before Taehyun pulls back.

“See? Not so bad.”

“You know a lot about kissing.”

Taehyun shoves the attention off of himself. “I’m gonna have to teach you, so when you find some cute boy in New York City, you know how to kiss him properly.”

Something in Soobin shifts, just a bit. He pushes Taehyun over so this time he is on top, Taehyun under him. “I can’t think about that right now,” he whispers. “I don’t want to kiss anybody but you.”

“Then don’t,” Taehyun whispers back, and Soobin leans in again, lost to time and space and the feeling of Taehyun’s fingers in his hair. He follows Taehyun’s instructions to a T, and it works magic. They stay that way for too long, neither pushing things too far, until they are out of breath and cuddled together, Taehyun’s fingers now interlaced with Soobin’s own. 

Both are lost in the wonder that  _ something like this could really happen.  _

Taehyun checks his phone, plugged in against the wall. They have almost made out clear until the end of lunchtime. They’ll probably have to wing it at the food stands before they close. “Do you want food?”

“Maybe.” Soobin wraps his arms around Taehyun. “Can we just stay here for a while longer?”

“Sure.”

There’s a long pause. Then, “Taehyun, do you think you could come down to the city sometime?”

“Maybe.” Taehyun stretches. “It depends on what happens next with me. I need to find a job, so it’ll be a schedule thing. Albany is farther away than you think it is, Soobin, I can’t just hop on the light rail.”

“I know. There’s no space for guests in our dorm, but you could bring a sleeping bag or something.”

“Oh, like the one in your tent that got ruined?” They both giggle.

“Or I could come up here and see you,” Soobin says. “I could buy a train ticket. Those are kind of expensive, though, aren’t they?”

And Taehyun feels the panic rise up in his threat. “Soobin,” he whispers, “I’m pretty sure my parents aren’t going to be okay with this.”

It takes a moment for Soobin to understand. “Oh.”

“It would be one thing for them to figure out you’re a friend, but...I’m pretty sure they would be mad if they found us doing this.” Taehyun pauses. “Give me a little bit of time. I’m gonna figure stuff out, one way or another. And -- you still don’t have my phone number, do you?”

“I don’t.”

“Well, let’s go do that now, even though you can’t text anybody yet. Then, you can keep talking to me. And we’ll see where we go from there.”

“I would love that.” And Soobin cuddles Taehyun closer, just for a few more seconds, and then he gets out of bed. When he gets to his Blackberry, it is still perched near the dining booth, plugged in and charging. And it is  _ ringing.  _

“Oh!” he says, picking it up, careful to stay in the exact same spot. “Gyu.”

“What’s up, dude. You don’t sound hungover,” Choi Beomgyu’s voice comes out of the phone.

“Just tired. What’s going on?”

“Where are you, man? We came over to your tent and it’s all fucked up.”

“Oh, shit -- I’m at Taehyun’s RV. Didn’t you know that?”

Beomgyu says something that Soobin can’t catch -- probably to Kai and Shelly -- and there is  _ lots  _ of laughing. “Aww, my poor baby Soobin is growing up and kissing boys. What else did you do?”

“We only kissed!” Soobin says, in a voice that doesn’t make him sound any more innocent.

“Yeah, yeah, sure. We’ll talk about it later. Are you coming to the WoS show?”

“The what?”

“We were all gonna go watch Walking on Starlight together. Is Terry -- is Taehyun awake? Does he want to come, too?”

Soobin turns to Taehyun. “Gyu’s on the phone, he wants to know if we want to go to the show that’s starting at -- three, right, Gyu?”

“Yeah, and if you get your ass over here fast enough, I’ll save you some fried chicken.”

“Fried chicken!” Soobin grins. “Yeah, hang on, I’ll be there in fifteen.” He hangs up.

“That last show is Walking on Starlight, right? I mean, I could go to them. It’s Walking on Starlight, for crying out loud. You don’t get much more famous than freaking Tina Dee Walking on Starlight. They’re almost as famous as Waeng.” 

Soobin laughs. “Almost. Should we go together, then?”

Taehyun hugs Soobin. “If it means I get to see one more show with you, then yes. But please don’t leave my side until we have to.”

They kiss one last time, and then Taehyun reaches back, taking Soobin’s hand, and they are out the door and back out to NeoNara. 

Soobin and Taehyun run, hand in hand, to the food tent, where Beomgyu has stayed true to his words and has two plates of fried chicken ready. They eat while walking back to the Sperry Arena, Kai and Shelly along with them. The food stands and the fair rides are still running for now, but Soobin knows it’s only a matter of time before everything closes down. A new week is starting, of course. 

He notices Taehyun is carrying the plate of chicken with his left hand, so he reaches over and takes Taehyun’s right hand in his left. “This okay?”

“For now, man. This stuff is greasy.” And they both laugh, interlacing their fingers a bit, then letting go to resume eating.

Sperry Music Arena is  _ still  _ covered in paint from last night’s Polaris Rider rave. An entire section of grass is still pink, roped off along with a few wet patches of grass. The rest of the arena is  _ packed full  _ of people. Walking on Starlight is a nationally known band, and their sound is so simple that most everybody could be a fan of it. Taehyun sees senior citizens along small kids hanging from their parents’ shoulders. An entire section in front has people in lawn chairs. 

“You’ll have this many people at a concert someday,” Soobin sings to Taehyun, in no particular tune whatsoever. 

“Yeah, right.” They smile at each other just as the foley music fades away.

While the crowd gets excited and louder, the stage itself is quiet. Taehyun watches as Emmaline Wheaton, the same woman who sang for Polaris Rider’s set last night, walks to the middle of the stage. Last night, she had matched Polaris Rider’s glittery silver bodysuit with a dress that outshined all of the glowsticks in the crowd. Today, she’s back into soft rock territory, wearing a black t-shirt and skinny jeans. She has a white keytar strapped around her body, but she doesn’t reach for it as she approaches the microphone.

“What is she doing?” Soobin asks before Emmaline whips out a small, plastic instrument, and starts to play it.

Taehyun is used to an elementary school recorder being a harsh instrument, overblown by third graders learning how to play Hot Cross Buns. But it’s been part of Walking on Starlight’s sound for as long as they have existed. Most everybody has laughed it off until they have heard Emmaline play, and then they’ve shut up about it. For example, all she is doing now is playing a simple melody, and she has the entire audience transfixed. Nobody is making a sound. It is almost otherworldly.

“Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star?” Taehyun hears Soobin ask.

“They start all their shows with it,” Beomgyu whispers as Emmaline finishes. There is a countdown, and with no warning, they start off their show with the cover they are most known for.

_ Don't wanna be an American idiot _

_ Don't want a nation under the new mania _

_ Hey can you hear the sound of hysteria? _

_ The subliminal mind -- _

Emmaline points her microphone at the audience, who all simultaneously yell, “FUCK AMERICA!” Beomgyu joins in rather loudly. Taehyun and Soobin both pass. Taehyun’s still not sure about cursing at a concert, but then again...it wasn’t Emmaline who did it. 

_ Welcome to a new kind of tension _

_ All across the alien nation _

_ Where everything isn't meant to be okay _

_ Television dreams of tomorrow _

_ We're not the ones who're meant to follow _

_ For that's enough to argue _

Walking on Starlight doesn’t play a lot of covers, but  _ this  _ one of Green Day is the one they are most known for. It was this same cover that someone had taped, put up on YouTube, and gotten them some serious star power. Everybody loves it so much that they  _ have  _ to start off their set with it, or else they get nasty letters asking why they didn’t play it. 

Taehyun’s never seen them in concert, but he knows their music enough to remember who everybody is. Emmaline commands the stage, but there  _ are  _ other members. Then he remembers that Soobin might not even know who they are, coming from Korea and all. “Okay, so do you know this band?”

“Nope!”

“You’ll know them when they play their later songs. But yeah, they’re just a rock band, but they’re famous. Emmaline is their lead singer and stuff. Then you’ve got Tina Dee on lead guitar and --” Taehyun  _ stops, dead in his tracks,  _ as he realizes that  _ the same platinum blonde Asian man who sang last night is on stage,  _ playing the bass. “Okay, maybe I don’t know that much about this band, but they’re famous, okay?”

“Okay,” Soobin says, and Taehyun steps back to watch. The band is in perfect sync. Tina Dee is actually the most famous member of the band, mostly because she’s a model who keeps appearing on America’s Next Top Model with Tyra Banks. But Emmaline is a close second, and the others have always blended together. Taehyun recalls the Asian bassist now, next to an acoustic guitarist who seriously just looks like a dudebro, and Avril Lavigne’s redhaired sister on the drums in the back. Actually, Taehyun takes that back, because the drummer is  _ absolutely killing it.  _

“Some drummer!” he yells to Beomgyu.

“Yeah, Amber’s legit!” he yells back. “She’s literally the best drummer in L.A.! Has won awards and shit!”

“No shit!” he yells as the song changes. It seems kind of funny to have a bunch of twentysomethings singing about high school days on stage, but Emmaline and the others manage to make it work.

_ Ride the bus to school each day _

_ 7:50, on my way _

_ Teachers stink, students talk _

_ I just wanna take a walk _

_ Pass a picture, see your face _

_ Suddenly I’m out of place _

_ As the tears begin to fall _

_ I crash right into a wall _

Somewhere in the mess, Taehyun’s hand finds its way to Soobin’s again.

_ I want the world to know _

_ How much I love you so _

_ But they’re not allowed to know _

_ Because they’re simple minded _

_ I want the world to know _

_ How much I need you so _

_ But I just can’t stand to go _

_ Into that single minded _

_ Simple minded kind of life _

They share a glance, then laugh. Soobin lets go of Taehyun’s hand long enough to ruffle his hair, and then takes a chance, pressing a kiss quickly to his temple before backing away. Taehyun smiles, then turns. Both Beomgyu and Kai are staring at them, eyes wide open. Kai’s mouth is so big he could fit an entire grape juice bottle in it.

“What?” he yells as a new song starts.

_ Woke up this morning to the sound of my mother’s voice calling my name _

_ She looked at me with a look in her eyes that told me things weren’t the same _

_ I felt like somewhere, somehow, I’d been here before _

_ And she mentioned you _

_ And I felt my world disappear beneath me _

Despite the fact that the mood has changed, the entire band still acts as one. Everything is completely in sync. There are no missed notes, no crazy jumps off the stage, nothing. It’s a controlled chaos, whereas with Waeng, it was just all chaos, all the time. This is the difference between Beomgyu leading Waeng, and Emmaline leading Walking on Starlight. 

_ But there’s no place left to find you _

_ You’ve left this world alone _

_ Should we ever meet again _

_ I won’t hold back, I wish I could be the one _

_ But we’ll never meet again _

_ I hear the echoes of your eternal song _

_ And I’m left with goodbye _

The band starts in after Emmaline finishes her piano solo, and the result makes Taehyun shiver a bit. The song is about suddenly losing someone you loved, with no warning at all. He grips Soobin’s hand harder as the band continues to play. Every second they play is a second closer to when Soobin has to leave. He can’t have Soobin leave. Not now.

Maybe not ever.

But this is reality, and Taehyun has to accept it.  The concert continues around him, but his thoughts are only on Soobin’s hand in his, and how he needs to text Soobin when he gets the chance, and how he’s going to hide all of this from his parents until he’s more safe. 

Soobin, meanwhile, is only watching the stage. He sees Beomgyu in Tina Dee as she struts her stuff, playing her electric guitar solos and whipping her long hair back and forth. Kai and Amber could be really good friends, although Kai is _ nowhere _ near as good as Amber on the drums yet. And -- who was that bass guy again? Soobin now realizes that he was singing last night with Emmaline, as he takes the microphone to lead an anti-war song that’s too placid in arrangement for Waeng to cover.

_ In our own backyard, safely hard at play _

_ She’s a queen and he is Robin Hood to save the day _

_ Still, the war is on, news at seven _

_ I can’t believe we still use death as a solution _

_ Last night while I was safe asleep, across the world a father weeps _

_ Life is not a game to win or lose _

And Emmaline reminds him of Taehyun, how she runs around the stage, playing on a bigger keyboard, then switching to her keytar, always singing with a microphone practically glued to her face. Taehyun had seemed so small on that stage (just two days ago!) but Soobin will never forget the look in his eyes when they met for the first time, that first  _ hello.  _ Everything that existed before this weekend is dead to him; it no longer matters. 

Toward the end of the concert, all five members put down their instruments. Emmaline programs something into her keytar, then starts playing chords, a bassline immediately coming out. She starts singing.

_ Then I’ll paint a picture of you _

_ All the colors, every shade, every hue _

_ But I won’t hang it up on my wall, oh no _

_ I’ll take it wherever I go _

Amber then takes a microphone next, singing the next verse.

_ Then I’ll go for a walk on the shore _

_ Think of all the times we’ve been here before _

_ Know no matter how we feel right now _

_ We’ll make it back together somehow _

Then, there’s some call and response thing with the crowd, where they sing a part of a verse and the crowd sings back to them. Beomgyu and Kai know the words, but Taehyun hasn’t ever heard this song before. He’s only heard whatever they put on the radio. “Do they always do this?” he asks Beomgyu as someone else sings a verse.

“Yeah,” Beomgyu says. “They always end with this song. Pay attention, it’s pretty easy.  _ We had a dream, we shared it all,  _ et cetera.”

“Okay,” Taehyun says as the band goes into the chorus one last time, the crowd echoing back at them. He gives up and just listens to the lyrics. 

_ We had a dream (we had a dream) _

_ We shared it all (we shared it all) _

_ No matter all the times we rise and we fall _

_ From the start (from the start) _

_ Until the end (until the end) _

_ We will walk this road as friends (and I) _

_ I am glad I knew you then _

The mysterious singer from last night takes the last verse as Emmaline continues to play, ending the song on a hopeful chord.

_ Then I’ll finally try to make it all right _

_ One step at a time through the night _

_ Then maybe I’ll emerge on the other side brand new _

_ It’s true, for you _

Soobin turns to Taehyun, wrapping him up in a big hug. For a split second, he feels the words he shouldn’t be saying, on the tip of his tongue, but he bites them back. They can wait. “I’m so glad I met you,” is what he whispers instead.

“Me, too,” Taehyun says, and with that, Walking on Starlight has finished their set. The stands are open for one more hour, but the rides have closed, and the campgrounds close in three hours. NeoNara is all but officially over. 

“Soobin,” Beomgyu says, “just meet us at the RV at five, okay? Be ready to go by then.”

“Okay,” Soobin says, and he glances back up at the stage. Walking on Starlight are taking a bow, and for some reason, he almost feels like Emmaline is smiling right at him. 

“Let’s head back,” he says, and he takes off with Taehyun, back across the grounds and through the food vendors. Taehyun buys two cups of shaved ice, and they somehow get back to the RV before they melt. Then, they sit at the booth and trade flavors -- Taehyun’s is cherry, while Soobin’s is peach. 

“You have my number, right?” Taehyun asks. 

“Yeah, we traded them earlier,” Soobin says, remembering how he had grabbed his phone earlier and talked to Beomgyu. “I really don’t want to head back.”

“You will, and next thing you know, I’ll be down there visiting. No frowny faces. I’ve got a career to get off the ground.” 

They both laughed, finishing off their shaved ices before they could fully melt. “Now watch,” Taehyun says as he throws the shaved ice container away in his trash, “this festival will get so popular that I won’t be able to get my own timeslot again.”

“Don’t say that. Obviously -- play other places, yes, and maybe write more songs than just one. But…” Soobin’s not sure how to say it. If he comes back here, to NeoNara, next year, and Taehyun isn’t here, it wouldn’t be worth it for him. He’s grasping at straws, unsure of when he’ll see Taehyun again. 

Taehyun goes to the back of the RV, digs, then pulls out Soobin’s T-shirt. “Okay, so when you get back to the city, you need to lay it flat and spray it with vinegar,” he says. “Then if you have an iron, iron the color in after the vinegar is dry. That will permanently set the color in this shirt. Obviously wash it in cold only, maybe line dry it so it doesn’t fade. But...maybe next year, bring your shirt, I’ll bring mine? And if Polaris comes back, we’ll get new shirts?”

“They’ll need new headliners. Who ever heard of someone playing a main stage at a festival more than one year in a row?”

“Yeah, you’re right, you’re right.  Is Waeng going to play here next year?”

Soobin pauses. “I don’t actually have any say in it, but...I mean...I can talk with Beomgyu about it.”

“Then, if you can get Waeng to play here, and you can get back here, to NeoNara…” Taehyun feels his voice crack.  _ This feels like goodbye. “ _ Then I will be here. And I’ll sign up again, and I’ll play a set as King Solomon again. And this time, I’ll actually work to promote it.”

Soobin’s face lights up. “Promise?”

“Promise. But you gotta help me out, man, I’m no good at this promoting thing.”  _ I’m probably no good at this liking myself enough to promote myself thing, but you might be able to help with that, too. _

Soobin checks the time.  _ Five minutes until five, and Beomgyu hates being late.  _ Their time is up.

He reaches forward and hugs Taehyun, full-on hugging him, squishing him so tight that Taehyun thinks he might not be able to breathe. And then, he kisses him, long enough that it will have to do until the next time they see each other. But then Soobin backs away again, and he looks into Taehyun’s eyes. This time, the spark isn’t as strong, but he sees it. This unspoken understanding that what they have -- what they started -- isn’t finished, and for now, they have to travel away from each other. But even if nothing else happens, come this time next year, they’ll be back. And maybe, just maybe, this spark will be, too.

Soobin reaches out to shake Taehyun’s hand. “Next year?”

Taehyun smiles, reaching back and shaking it. “Next year.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A reminder that there is more NeoNara content on Wattpad and AudioMack, so if you want more content in-between chapters here on AO3, you can check those out:
> 
> \-- AudioMack features the song from last chapter, "Song For Fury." There will be more NeoNara music, but I don't know what all that constitutes yet.  
> \-- Wattpad has graphics, posters, and press releases, since Wattpad is a BIT more image-friendly than AO3 is. Wattpad also has the "Shampoo Fairy" interviews done by Daniel Choi. 
> 
> I want to write more often, and I love this story (and it loves me), but real life is getting just a bit in my way at the moment. There will be more soon. Promise.


	4. 2013-2014: Intermission

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a mention in this chapter to completely off-screen, glossed over non-consensual sexual activity of an unspecified nature. As it is not the focus of the story, I have not added any tags for this. Please let me know IMMEDIATELY if I should do so.

Soobin gets all the way back to Manhattan before he realizes he’s a complete idiot and  _ he never actually got Taehyun Rhodes’ number.  _

“YOU ARE A COMPLETE AND UTTER IDIOT,” Yeonjun all but confirms, yelling in Soobin’s face back at the dorm. “An idiot! Ugh! I have an idiot for a roommate!” He rambles on in quick Korean that, for once, Soobin can’t catch. Then he waltzes into the kitchenette, grabs a bottle of soju, opens it, and drinks half of it in one go.

“...but at least I kissed him.”

Yeonjun nearly spits out the same soju he is drinking. “Can you wait until I’m done to tell me that?!?”

“...maybe?”

But at this point, Yeonjun is  _ all  _ smiles. “Man, that’s great. That’s amazing! I knew it! I knew you two were perfect for each other! How was it.”

Soobin’s face lights up. “He knew what he was doing.”

“A-hahahahahaha.” There’s a weird look in Yeonjun’s eyes. “Did you do anything else?”

“No.”

“Aw, man.”

“I didn’t want to do anything else. I just...wanted to kiss him. And I did. And it was  _ great.  _ I’m glad he knew what he was doing, because I didn’t, and he taught me some stuff, and --” Soobin sighs. “Now I just want to kiss him again!”

“Of course. All in due time, Soobie. You’ve made that wham-bam connection. Now, all we have to do is see if it lasts.”

Soobin pouts. “But I don’t have his number.”

Yeonjun laughs under his breath. “Never underestimate Daniel Choi.” And sure enough, it takes Yeonjun two weeks of phone calls, emails, and one unknown favor, but he is able to get the phone number King Solomon had on file with the NeoNara offices. “It’s the same one he submitted with his artist registration,” Yeonjun says as he presents the number to Soobin. “See if you can text it first. Might be a landline. If you have to call it, just say you’re a friend he met at NeoNara, and boom, get his actual number, start making sweet music over text.”

“Yeonjun- _ hyung,  _ I don’t make music.”

“Not yet, anyway.” And Yeonjun drinks the rest of the bottle.

It hadn’t taken Taehyun that long to realize that he didn’t have Soobin’s number. He had gotten back to the RV after the Walking on Starlight concert, intending on messaging Soobin first thing. But he didn’t have his number in his phone, and he was certain that Soobin had never gotten  _ his  _ number into his phone, either.  He sat in the driver’s seat, making sure everything was secure, that the tanks were packed and the back was folded up, and then he realized he had tears streaming down his face. 

He sat for fifteen minutes, bawling, head against the steering wheel,  _ terrified  _ that he would never see Soobin again.

But he drove home, and his parents had dinner waiting for him, and he told them all about the festival. He told them about his set, and how a promoter for another band from New York City had watched his show. Soobin Choi, the beautiful man he had kissed and was probably falling hard and fast for, simply became Soobin Choi, Promoter of Waeng. So he was able to talk about Beomgyu and Kai and Shelly, and going to their show, and how through Soobin he also met Daniel Choi, blogger for Shampoo Fairy. But he didn’t yet feel comfortable talking about how he had finally met other Korean people that weren’t forced on him, and how he had finally learned how to pronounce his real name. All of that could wait for another day.

“And did you go to that show you wanted to?” his father had asked, and Taehyun -- now back to Terry -- had nodded. 

“Yeah, all my new friends went with me.” That was a blatant lie, but it was one he was going to have to keep up.

The next day, Terry went online and went to the Shampoo Fairy blog. Daniel Choi did not have an email or a phone number posted, but he did have a contact link where a message could be sent to him.  _ Hey, Daniel, this is King Solomon. Can you email me back about something?  _ He waited two weeks for a response, but never got one. 

The next days and weeks are slowly spent in a daze, as Terry tries his best to get back to normal life. He submits for more part time jobs, but doesn’t hear back from anybody. He sits around the house, watching TV, looking up Waeng online. Soobin isn’t on Facebook, but Terry knows better than to try and find him on there anyway.  _ It’s only a matter of time,  _ he thinks.  _ If I’m going to do this now, I have to be careful.  _

But he can’t put it off any longer, and the next Saturday, he heads across Albany to Russell Sage.

“It’s about time you visited me,” Mayumi says as she leads Terry into her new dorm. The entire campus is bustling with undergraduate women of all walks of life. It makes Terry sad, in a way, that he also isn’t having the same experience on a campus. But then Mayumi pulls him into the dorm stairwell, and once they are inside, she pushes him up against the door. 

When she kisses him, Terry isn’t thinking about her at all.  _ His mind is back at NeoNara, when he pulled Soobin into the RV, when their tongues met for the first time.  _ But Mayumi pulls back, and demands, “There’s something on your mind.”

“Nothing at all.” Terry affords a hug, pulling Mayumi close,  _ trying  _ not to throw up. “I just really, really missed you.”

“Well, since you’re not working right now, you can come visit all the time! You just have to leave by curfew...or, you’re  _ supposed  _ to leave by curfew, since you’re a guy, but who’s counting? You can help me with my night watch again. This is gonna be  _ perfect!”  _ And Mayumi skips up the stairs, practically dragging Terry with her. 

The dorm is more spacious than Terry thought; it’s set up more like an apartment, with a kitchen and living room. “I have my own room over here,” Mayumi motions; it’s small, with a lofted bed and a desk underneath it. “We can share the same bed. See?”

_ It’s a twin size bed,  _ Terry thinks to himself, but he holds his tongue. “I guess we could.”

“Oh, we  _ totally  _ could. You might as well just move in with me.”

“Mayumi, I think my parents would have an issue with that.”

“Oh.” She giggles. “I guess you’re right. Sit with me?” She climbs up the side of the bed, and Terry does the same, sitting beside her. She takes his fingers, weaves her own in between them. He is reminded of Soobin, two weeks ago at the Walking on Starlight show.

“So, you never told me about NeoNara.”

“What is there to tell?”

“I guess nothing. It went the way you thought it would?”

“Well, you weren’t there, so…” 

“Course not. I’m the only audience that matters, after all. If I’m not there, it means nothing. Oh, you should DJ some of the events we have going on here at campus. I think it would be good exposure.”

Terry remembers what Mayumi had said before NeoNara, before it was revealed that the same weekend was move-in at Russell Sage and she suddenly couldn’t go with him.  _ You’re not allowed to do anything without me, you hear? Which means nobody’s allowed to go to your show. It was supposed to be only me, nobody else in the audience. If you can’t play for me, you can’t play for anybody else. You can’t cancel, but...ugh, just fake it, okay? Nobody needs to hear you. That song is stupid, anyway.  _

He had faked it. It was the reason he had played the first timeslot.  _ So nobody else would watch. So it could all be for Mayumi.  _ And Soobin had shown up instead. Terry wishes he was here now, but then again, Soobin probably wouldn’t be able to handle the terror that is Mayumi Tasogare Hoshizora the Third when she is pissed off.

“Did you go to the Polaris concert?”

“Nope. I stayed in the RV and got some stuff done.”

“That’s my boy.” Mayumi kisses Terry’s cheek, then  leans her head on his shoulder. “Do you remember?”

Terry nods. “I do.” She doesn’t even have to tell him the story anymore. He always remembers how he was at school, late at night for a concert or a game or some other event, and he spotted her in the hallway right before she collapsed. Nobody else had been around to help, and while Mayumi had been shaking from what appeared to be a seizure, Terry had kept her safe and sound. He had wanted to go find somebody, but no, she had said, he had to stay by her side. Soon enough, the moment passed, and an exhausted Mayumi had kissed Terry as a thank-you, out of nowhere. 

“You saved my life,” she had whispered. “I thought they were gonna get me there for a moment.”

“They?” Terry had asked. And Mayumi had sat with Terry and told him her deepest, darkest secret: that she was actually a fallen angel, kicked out of heaven for going against the will of God.  In order to get back into heaven after she died as a human, she always had to be doing good deeds. That made sense enough. But there were also demons, watching her at all times. They were invisible, could take control of her, make her do horrible things. Mayumi talked about how once the demons had once used her to almost set her house on fire, and how when she was twelve they had crashed her parents’ car into a tree while chasing her. Of course, she couldn’t have told her parents that, but she told Terry because she trusted him. He was the only one who had ever seen her go through a demonic attack like that. Because of this, Mayumi stays up late, gets no sleep, and monitors the hallways in the school and now at college at all times, ensuring that no demons come after her. And if they attack, it is always Terry who saves the day, staying with her until she’s able to exorcise them or they leave.

“This is who we are,” Mayumi whispers to Terry, playing with his hair. “You save me. And I save you.” This is true: there are moments where Terry’s head suddenly starts spinning for no reason, or he feels like he is going to throw up. And it’s always Mayumi’s angel powers that save the day, exorcising the demons from inside of him and restoring him back to equilibrium. Of course, Terry doesn’t  _ actually  _ believe any of that. But he has to go along with it at this point. 

He had spoken up, once. Had said that all this “angels and demons” stuff wasn’t real. Mayumi’s unconscious body had been found in her car the next day. It was his fault, Mayumi had said, over and over again, and Terry had apologized first with his words, then his actions. And he had apologized again and again and again, until he had nothing more left to give, and then he was back to apologizing the next day.

If Terry stopped apologizing, if he stopped watching out for Mayumi at all times,  _ if he stopped playing this angels and demons game,  _ next time, she wouldn’t be so lucky. 

He feels his phone buzz in his pocket, but ignores it. If his attention isn’t completely on Mayumi, she’ll accuse him of deflecting to the demons, being on their side. It’s been like this for almost four years now. Ever since that night at school, Mayumi had suddenly decided Terry was her boyfriend, and they were going to be together forever. Which certainly made some things easy for Terry: he had a date lined up for every homecoming and prom he wanted to go to, plus Mayumi had taken over managing Terry’s career as King Solomon. He can’t just say no to her, what with all the work she has put in ensuring he could go on stage.

But now he has someone he actually  _ wants  _ to date. A charming human, a man named Choi Soobin who lives in New York City. A man whose kiss makes Terry feel things that Mayumi never can.

“Mayumi,” he whispers, and then he pulls away from her. “Do you like it here at school?”

“I do, but I wish you were here with me. Nothing makes sense without you, Terry. I just don’t think I can do this on my own.”

“I think you can. You’re brave, you know that? You’re always fighting against the demons, and even I can’t do much to help you but make sure your body doesn’t get in trouble.” He bites his tongue. He  _ hates  _ saying this next part. “I love you for that.”

“I love you, too, Terry. Always and forever.” And she wraps her arms around him, and what happens next is a blur that Terry would rather wish he could forget. His brain is a mix of Soobin and that night and what might or might not have happened if he hadn’t fallen asleep, what he wishes he could do now, what he wishes he wasn’t doing with Mayumi. But he stays present, and he consents, because if he doesn’t, he’s afraid of what Mayumi will do to herself. 

She can’t be trusted by herself.

It is always Terry who has to make sure she’s okay. If she dies, it’s his fault. She has made that plain and simple, many, many times before.

He runs to the bathroom afterward, and when he gets back, Mayumi is holding his iPhone. “Terry, who is Soobin Choi?”

Terry feels his heart drop to the bottom of the floor, all the way through the dorm building. He’s sure his face is as white as a sheet. “Why?”

“Oh, I don’t know, he texted me. Something about how you met at NeoNara.” Mayumi shows him the text message, and he sees that Mayumi has been messaging him back.  _ Hey, is this Terry? Yes, this is Terry’s phone, who would like to know? Oh, this is Soobin, from NeoNara? _

“You said you didn’t meet anybody at NeoNara.” There’s something about her voice that makes Terry want to  _ hurl. _

“I didn’t.”

“Then  _ who is this???” _

“I --” Terry is out of words.

“I don’t want to hear about it.” She takes the phone back, messages again, then pushes a few more buttons. “You know who he could be, Terry. You  _ know.”  _ And Terry knows what she means, because she’s said it about other friends at school and even sometimes Terry’s parents. To her, Soobin is one of the demons, and his only reason for existing is to take him away from her, to make her suffer. 

“You are NOT to contact him again,” she hisses at Terry. “Do you understand me?”

Terry nods. Now that Mayumi knows, she will stop at nothing to ensure he doesn’t contact anybody from NeoNara again. She has access to his email, his phone, his computer,  _ everything.  _ And if he doesn’t consent, there’s no telling what she will do. This is what he wanted to prevent.  _ If only he had gotten Soobin’s number earlier. _

_ I’m sorry, Soobin. _

_ I’m so, so sorry. _

“I understand.”

“Good. Now, I don’t think you fully understand. Let me make sure you understand.” And Mayumi pulls Terry back up into the lofted bed for round two.

Meanwhile, two hundred miles away, Soobin receives a text message back.

_ Hello, Soobin from NeoNara. This is Mayumi, Terry’s girlfriend and manager. I have no clue who you are. Please forget this number ever existed and go on with your life. Have a nice day. _

In October, Choi Yeonjun gets a text message from Kai Huening. This isn’t new: Yeonjun and Kai have been texting since NeoNara ended, and have become pretty good friends. But this one is  _ different. _

**Kai:** why is soobin crying at rehearsal?

**Yeonjun:** Uh, I don’t know. I don’t have all the answers to everything.

**Kai:** we havent played this song since neonara and were getting ready for our next show

**Yeonjun:** which song is it?

At this point, Yeonjun has become a true blue fan of Waeng -- appropriately a Waenger. 

**Kai:** the someday song

**Yeonjun:** Yeah IDK what to tell you dude. 

**Kai:** i dont know whats wrong with him! he skipped rehearsal for weeks and now hes back and hes not his normal self

_ Uh-oh. _

**Yeonjun:** he hasn’t been at rehearsal? then where has he been going on wednesday nights?!?

**Kai:** wait what?!?!?!

Yeonjun can only imagine that Kai is doing his Traditional Kai Squeal in real life, on the other end of the text message. He makes a mental note of how adorable it is.

**Yeonjun:** so uh you remember that kid who followed Soobin around the whole festival

**Kai:** yeah! oh no did they break up?

**Yeonjun:** worse.

**Yeonjun:** he had a girlfriend

There is a  _ long  _ pause between Yeonjun’s  _ read  _ message and Kai’s next text.

**Kai:** i dont believe that 

**Kai:** not for a second

**Kai:** those two were MEANT to be together. it has to happen. my ship will not sink!

**Yeonjun:** Kai, don’t ship real people. That’s rude. 

**Kai:** but you agree right???

**Kai:** Soobin cant be this sad forever

Yeonjun sighs. 

**Yeonjun:** look we should talk more about this in person if we’re gonna make a plan. when are you coming down to the city next?

**Kai:** i have class so...christmas??

So it is on December 21st that Kai Huening takes the Metro-North down to the city from Valhalla. Yeonjun meets up with him at Grand Central Station, and he looks  _ adorable.  _ His yellow hair is gone, now pink, tied back in a ponytail. For a split second, Kai wonders if this is a  _ date,  _ but he knows Yeonjun isn’t interested in him. This crush needs to go away before he gets hurt.

Yeonjun is an awesome friend, but he also gets blow jobs on Ferris wheels from strangers. Kai knows he isn’t that loose, so he’ll never be anybody that Yeonjun will look at.

Or so he thinks. Yeonjun immediately runs up and gives Kai a hug. He’s glad they can talk about the Soobin-Taehyun issue, but more importantly: he needs to run his gaydar on Kai again, because it’s not working over text. He  _ still  _ can’t tell if Kai is interested in men, otherwise, he would have made his move eons ago.

They go downstairs and grab soups and sandwiches at Hale and Hearty, taking up a table and chairs practically in the middle of the floor. Grand Central passengers whiz by them, catching trains, Christmas shopping, eating, and bolting to the restroom after getting off the subway. “I’m never here enough to be down here,” Kai explains. “We usually just go straight to the 6.”

“Ahh, makes sense.” Yeonjun  _ noms  _ hard on his sandwich. “So, Soobin and Taehyun. Or, more likely,  _ who the hell is this Mayumi chick?” _

“I don’t know.” Kai looks about ready to cry. “But I hate seeing Soobin like this.”

“So.” Yeonjun pulls out his trusty tape recorder and hits the record button. It’s the only way he takes notes. “Exhibit A is that Taehyun and Soobin were clearly together during the weekend. I know for a fact that they kissed Saturday night back at Taehyun’s RV, Soobin confirmed it.”

“And they were cute on each other at the Walking on Starlight concert the next day. I saw that.”

“They also seem to be pretty good together. You know how Soobin wasn’t confident at first and just went with the flow?”

“Yeah.” Kai giggles. “He was such a shy bunny.”

Yeonjun turns his attention to his soup, lest Kai see him blush.  “And it took me taking him to all those fancy functions to actually get him out of the house?”

“Yeah, I think I remember that.”

“Kai, he wouldn’t even go to the dining hall on his own. He thought he had to pay individually for all of his food and cook it back at the dorm. The second time he caught the noodles on fire, I had to drag him across 28th Street and make him get some real food. I swear, that kid hasn’t found anything good unless I’ve mentioned it to him. He’s way Type B, more laid back, prefers life to happen to him instead of making life happen. And I know Taehyun was the one who was following Soobin around that entire weekend. But it was actually Taehyun with the plan, Taehyun being like, let's go here, let's do this, let’s walk around here, let's go back to my RV and make out and not tell Daniel Choi what else we’re doing.”

Kai giggles. “You know they did more?”

“Dude. They HAD to have done more. Soobin can’t keep a straight face about it.”

Kai giggles some more, hiding his face. He can’t even look at Yeonjun anymore, considering he’s spent the last four months or so daydreaming about what it would be like to kiss him.

“Anyway, because Taehyun was able to lead Soobin, it meant Soobin actually got something good out of the weekend. I couldn’t afford to be his best friend while we were there. I just couldn’t. I had my own job to do, with nonstop back-to-back interviews. I never want to do an interview with SQRL-X again.” Yeonjun sighs. “But Soobin had a good time. I would go so far as to say he even fell in love with Taehyun over the festival, in those three days we were up there. And now, without Taehyun around to lead him on adventures, he’s kind of stuck. He was waiting to hear back from him, I got his number from the NeoNara offices, and then he just gets shot down like that. Which brings up a really interesting question.”

“What's that?”

Yeonjun makes a face. “Taehyun never actually answered the text message. It went straight to whoever this Mayumi is, this weird girl who says she is Taehyun’s girlfriend. It probably means Mayumi is controlling Taehyun’s text messages. Which makes sense. If you’re dating someone, you should always have access to each others’ social media and places of contact. How else are you gonna know they’re not running off on you?”

Kai can’t believe what he is hearing. “No, they shouldn’t.” He eats a bite of his sandwich, then washes it down with a long drink of Sprite. “Taehyun is still his own person. It’s not like Mayumi is his mother, and he’s a grown man. Especially here in America. He doesn’t need someone overberating to make decisions for him.”

“I’m just used to it,” Yeonjun says with a shrug. “My parents share a Facebook account, and they don’t have cell phones. So they always know what the other is doing, and they do  _ everything  _ together. You have Korean parents, right?”

Kai holds up a hand. “Yes and no. My  _ eomma  _ is Korean, but I haven’t seen her in years. I’m always with my dad, and he’s a lot more independent than that with my stepmom.” Kai eats another bite of his sandwich, unknowingly spilling his entire life’s story in front of Yeonjun. “When I was growing up, we would travel all of the time, and sometimes we would visit with my dad’s best friend. He had his own family, a wife, and kids that were our age, so we would all play together. But it never seemed right, and I couldn’t ever talk to anybody about it. So now I can, if you promise not to tell. Nobody else knows about this.”

“Nobody else?”

“Nobody. So when we would visit this family, my dad’s best friend would be on his best behavior, but sometimes when I went to sleep, I would hear him arguing with his wife downstairs over little petty things. And it was all this weird stuff he would say, things about how, if she really loved him, he would do this or that, and that it was proof that she wasn’t really into him. There was lots of screaming about divorce, but they never did. At a certain point, we stopped going over to their house because my dad had brought it up once, and we never got invited over again. Taehyun is kind of like the wife, and this Mayumi is like the husband. Always yelling at her, always controlling things.”

“Exhibit B,” Yeonjun notes. “Mayumi is manipulative from what we have seen, and this is not a normal relationship.” 

“Not at all. Years later, my dad explained to me and my sisters why we weren’t visiting them anymore, which made us sad. Their kids were our friends! My childhood is filled with memories of us playing together in the backyard, mostly on a zipline. Dude, isn’t it so cool to have a zipline in your backyard?”

“A zipline?” Yeonjun had to laugh. Leave it to Kai to go from an abusive domestic situation to a zipline. “Americans are so weird.”

“I’m telling you, man. A zipline. You’re missing out.” Kai puts his sandwich down. “But also, Taehyun and Mayumi aren’t married.”

“They’re definitely not. Would Taehyun have kissed Soobin if he was married to another woman?”

Kai shakes his head. “He doesn’t strike me as that kind of person.”

“So then...why did Taehyun kiss Soobin?”

They were silent for a moment, lost in thought, until Yeonjun spoke again. “So, before the Polaris Rider concert, when you and Soobin were taking care of the leak in your trailer...I talked to Taehyun a bit. He was nervous, but I think he was also suffering from a bit of internal gay panic. He probably hadn’t realized he was allowed to kiss boys yet. That’s something I can identify with.”

“You can?” Honestly, Kai’s not even sure if it’s okay for  _ him _ to be kissing boys. It still seems weirdly forbidden.

“Yeah. I kissed a bunch of girls in middle school, but it just seemed boring to me. Then, one day, I got dared to randomly kiss a boy. I figured it wasn’t anything different than kissing a girl, but I was  _ wrong.  _ And that’s when I  _ knew _ . I also made the mistake of telling my parents that I kissed a boy that same night, and I got grounded for a week. We had a discussion after that, and I explained everything to them, and they realized they couldn’t stop me. They just don’t ask questions, and they let me do what I want as long as they don’t have to hear about it. I think they’re still secretly hoping I’ll find some nice Korean girl to marry, or that they can step in and arrange something for me, but that’s not gonna happen. I’d rather have a live-in boyfriend who stays with me forever, both of us living our lives openly.”

For a moment, Kai loses himself in thought. He imagines coming down by Metro-North, with a bunch of suitcases, his dad following with a U-Haul. He thinks about where he could live, maybe on the Upper East Side, or maybe somewhere more scandalous like Alphabet City. But it would be close enough that he could visit Yeonjun on a regular basis, and maybe someday, when he graduated, Yeonjun could move in with him --

“Earth to Kai Huening.”

“What?” Kai jumps and blushes. “Sorry about that. I didn’t get enough sleep last night.” That is not an untrue statement. He thinks back. “So you’d want to live your lives openly, but you still want to control what your boyfriend does and where he goes?”

“Not everything. I just am used to knowing everything about my boyfriends. They don’t seem to mind sharing, same as me. Whereas, you seem to think privacy is important…”

“If you can’t go off and do something on your own, if you can’t have your own life, is that even a relationship?”

“I don't know, I figured relationships were when two people came together and became one, and did everything together.”

“And I think that relationships are two people, coming together and living their lives at the same time, making each others’ lives better in the process. If two people stop being separate entities, something’s gonna give sooner or later. It’s what happened with my dad’s friend and his wife, and it’s what is happening now with Taehyun and Mayumi.” Kai marks a face. “I don’t even know what kind of name Mayumi is.”

“Exhibit C.” Yeonjun holds up his phone. He’s on Facebook, and Mayumi’s face is up on it. “It took me forever to find her. Her real name isn’t Mayumi. It’s Mary Barnett.”

“Get out!” comes the Traditional Kai Squeal, and everybody in Grand Central Terminal turns toward them. Kai blushes. “Sorry.” Everything returns to normal as Kai looks over the profile. This Mary looks like a normal white girl, but her hair is dyed blue and pulled back in two pigtails. She’s wearing glitter  _ everywhere,  _ and she’s in a tank top that shows off her nonexistent boobs. And right next to her in the picture, with a plastered on smile, is Taehyun Rhodes, his arms around her.

“I think I might throw up,” Kai says.

“She looks like a weeb,” Yeonjun says as he scrolls through the Facebook profile. “But she’s bold enough to go by Mayumi in public, when she's not even Japanese? That is so many levels of wrong, I don’t even know where to start.”

“So we’ve accepted she’s evil.”

“A very strange, very manipulative version of evil. Where do we even start?’

“We have to get Taehyun away from her, and back here to Soobin.”

“But we can’t make Taehyun do anything he doesn't want to do. Even though he kissed Soobin at the festival, he still went back to Albany, and as far as we can tell, he’s back together with Mayumi like nothing ever happened. We need a different approach.” Yeonjun snaps his fingers. “I think Soobin and Taehyun might have mentioned something about Taehyun remixing for Waeng. Maybe you can get Beomgyu to email Taehyun, talk about a collab or a remix or something. And since you’re messaging as Waeng and not Choi Soobin, Mayumi might actually pay attention to it. And if she doesn’t get the first one, we wait a couple of weeks and email again. And if THAT doesn’t work, then we start hyping King Solomon on our social media. I’ve already posted my interview with him, and you guys could always shout-out on your own Facebook and Twitter accounts. If we can’t get through to Taehyun, we can use Waeng to say,  _ we’re still here, come find us if you want us.” _

“Yeah. Until there’s another NeoNara, it’s not like we can just go up and say hi to him.”

“Mayumi wasn’t at the festival. I have to wonder why. I bet that was the first time in months that Taehyun had gotten away from her.” Yeonjun’s eyes widen. “No wonder he was all over Soobin. It wasn’t just love at first sight. It was a call for help.”

“A what? I didn’t see him asking for help for anything.”

“No, it would have been silent. But if this situation is as traumatic as we’re thinking it is, then Taehyun might have been using Soobin as a possible way to get out of the hole he’s in. It just backfired because they didn’t actually trade numbers. And if Taehyun isn’t saying anything to us now, I’m guessing Mayumi is somehow really dangerous, either to Taehyun or herself. So we have to play this carefully. It might even be until next NeoNara before we make proper contact again. I already know I’ll be at next year’s festival, I’m booked for interviews.”

“This far out?”

“Get this: they got Hatsune Miku to play.”

“Hatsune...who?”

“Hatsune Miku. It’s a Japanese act, where it’s a virtual girl who sings on stage. It’s wildly popular, and it’s gonna draw massive crowds to next year's festival. I’m on deck to have several interviews with some of the staff from Yamaha and Crypton, so that’s how I’m already booked. If nobody else goes, then I can even still do some intel on where Taehyun might be. Besides. I've heard the kid’s stuff on his SoundCloud. He’s got a long way to go before he’s as good as Polaris Rider, but he’s got talent. I would really hate it if Mayumi or anybody else squashed that.”

“Soobin brought it out of him, and Mayumi is squashing it.”

“Yeah. So: first plan of action, you talk to Beomgyu and see if he can email Taehyun, or Mayumi, see if there’s any way that Waeng can get in touch with King Solomon. Then, I vote that you, me, Soobin, and maybe the rest of Waeng have a meeting and see where we’re at. A King Solomon remix could also benefit Waeng, so it’s good to have them in on it. In addition, we’ll tell Soobin about what we found on Facebook, but only if we think it's safe for him. He, after all, still has his head in the sand about this. Not much we can do until he decides to pull it out. Now, do you want some tea? I have a hankering for a chai, and I got this place.”

Kai agrees, and they ditch Grand Central Terminal. When they step outside onto 42nd Street, it is lightly snowing, just enough to seem like a fun backdrop. They walk across 5th Avenue and over to Bryant Park, and Kai’s eyes light up when he sees something going on. “What is that?”

The entire park is usually an open field, where citygoers sit in the summertime, in the shade of the New York Public Library. A carousel sits near open chess boards where old and new folk can play. But during Christmastime, the park is transformed into an outdoor shopping center, with small booths selling unique goods. The entire middle has been turned into a skating rink, and Kai watches with wide open eyes as skaters of all ages and cultures zoom around in the rink. 

“You wanna go, don’t you,” Yeonjun says, and Kai nods. 

“I’ve been in New York City a lot, but the last time we came here for Christmas was years ago! Lea and I went to Macy’s and got to talk to Santa! Oh, I wonder if he’s still there…”

_ Of course a man like Kai Huening would still believe in Santa,  _ Yeonjun thought to himself with a smile. Then, he took Kai’s hand. “Well, what are you waiting for? Let’s go skating, then?”

_ “Ehh??”  _ Kai blushed all the way to the other side of the rink, especially when Yeonjun put down his American Express card for admission and skate rental. “You do -- you don’t have to do all of this!”

_ Yes, I do,  _ Yeonjun thinks to himself.  _ Because I still don’t know if you’re gay, and this may be the only chance I ever have to take you on a date. So I’m gonna enjoy it while I can.  _ And Yeonjun helps Kai get his skates on, lacing them up for him, taking the utmost care as only Yeonjun can. And Kai thinks it’s one of the sweetest things anybody has ever done for him, and he wonders why Yeonjun cares so much.

For a second, their eyes meet. Kai forgets how to breathe. Yeonjun smiles at him. And then Yeonjun laces up the other boot, then pulls Kai up and escorts him to the rink. Kai takes a grand total of two steps onto the ice before he falls  _ flat  _ on his butt. But Yeonjun just picks him back up and skates slowly around the edge with him. The dance training he has done for years has made balancing on ice easy as pie. Eventually, Kai also gets the hang of skating, though he does fall a couple more times. 

Somewhere in the middle, Kai takes Yeonjun’s hand, and they stay that way through the rest of their skating session. It never moves further than that. Neither boy knows what the other is thinking. But both just feel blessed to have this moment, whatever it might mean. 

After their skating session is over, Kai pulls Yeonjun aside. “I have an idea. I want to get you a Christmas present. ...Is that okay? Do you celebrate Christmas?”

Yeonjun laughs. “I can celebrate Christmas, but you should come down to the city next year for Soobin and I’s Seollal Dinner Extravaganza. We usually get drunk off our asses.”

Kai squees, then gets down to business. “So I want to buy you something, but I don’t want you to see. Can you...like, go over somewhere else for a bit? And also, can you not open the present until I get on the train?”

“I can do that.” And Yeonjun wanders the booths while Kai takes off like Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer across Bryant Park. Yeonjun only gets three booths down before he finds a stall full of crocheted stuffed animals.  _ One of these would be perfect for Kai,  _ he thinks, grinning and looking around.  _ I could get him something I think he would like, or… _

When he picks up the small fox, he knows this has to be the one. Yeonjun’s always been called foxy by nearly every man who’s dated him, but it also reflects how he coyly does his job as Daniel Choi. Maybe a stuffed animal that is a little different will remind Kai of him. Then again, maybe this will all come back to haunt him later. Who knows?

He purchases the fox and gets it dressed up in a gift bag, then goes back to where Kai left him. Sure enough, Kai is looking all over for him. “Did you get something?”

Yeonjun holds out the bag. “Here. I got you something, too. But don’t open it until you’re at least on the train, okay?”

Kai’s face slowly changes from curiosity to joy to elation, and Yeonjun is rewarded for his efforts with a Traditional Kai Squeal. Kai first hugs the bag, then hugs Yeonjun. “I love it already!”

They finally meander their way over to tea. “They have locations all around New York City, but I’m glad they have a pop-up at the Christmas Village,” Yeonjun says as they wait outside the stand. When they get up to the front, Yeonjun orders for Kai, and five minutes later he hands him a hot cup of...something. “Taste it and tell me what you think.”

Kai does so, slowly, so he does not burn his tongue. His voice trills in a surprised squeak. “What is this?”

“They have a white chocolate tea that they make every December for Christmas. I knew you should try it.”

Kai blushes. “You know me really well.”

“I do, don’t I.” Yeonjun looks away, a blush on his face as well. But they walk through the shops again, drinking their tea and staying warm. Neither of them say much; words can wait for text messages. They’re just enjoying each other’s company.

They finally walk back to Grand Central, and Yeonjun leads Kai to his train. For a moment, he wonders if he should kiss Kai, but he holds back, still not completely sure. Instead, Yeonjun hugs him and simply whispers, “We should do this again.” And Yeonjun is not a man of much outward emotion, especially among those he wants to keep secrets from. But he feels his voice crack when Kai gets on the train, then disappears from view.

He wants to run onto the train, ride all the way back north with Kai, stay with him. But he knows he can’t. He shouldn’t. 

“I love you,” he whispers, out of nowhere, and he suddenly realizes it’s true. Even if nothing comes of this, he loves Kai now. And he stays on the platform until the train departs, and then, all alone, he opens the gift Kai got for him. It is a hand-woven scarf, blue in color, with snowflakes set into the design.  _ A way to keep Yeonjun warm, when Kai isn’t there.  _

At the next Waeng practice, Kai talks to Beomgyu, but not Soobin, about their plan to get a hold of Taehyun. And all Beomgyu wants to do is see his best friend smile again, so he sends the email to King Solomon’s SoundCloud contact.  _ We had spoken at NeoNara about a remix, and I have the vocal stems ready for you. Please find them attached to this email. _

The first email was seemingly ignored, so Beomgyu sends another one, two weeks later. This one comes back almost immediately.  _ Hello, Mr. Choi of Waeng. Please note that we are currently unavailable for collaborations. Have a nice day.  _

“Performing at NeoNara is probably a horrible idea next year,” Mayumi says, over at Terry’s house one day.

“Why do you say that?” Unbeknownst to Mayumi, Terry had gotten the first email before she did. He just couldn’t have replied without her knowing.

“Ugh, I don’t know, you’re popular now. I hate it when you’re popular.” And Terry knows what Mayumi actually means:  _ I hate it when anybody other than me has their eyes on you. You should exist only for me.  _ True to form, she has another demonic attack that night, and Terry has to take care of her through it. 

She stays the night, unable to move, and Terry’s parents aren’t happy but let her stay on the couch. They drive her home in the morning, when she is feeling better. Once Mayumi is gone, Terry whips out a flash drive with the words  _ Micro Center  _ on it. What Mayumi doesn’t know won’t hurt her. Every time he works on the file, he erases all trace of it on his actual computer, just in case. The whole thing exists on the drive. Terry knows that if Mayumi finds out, it won’t only be his career that’s over, but he  _ has  _ to take this chance.

And when he is done, instead of uploading it to the Internet himself, he asks his parents to mail it. Two weeks later, Nabil David Huening gets a package at his office in downtown Manhattan. 

“I can’t mix this shit,” Shelly whines as Waeng plugs the flash drive into her Mac. “This was made in Ableton.”

“Gross,” Angel agrees, leaning on her new-fiancee’s shoulder.

So the band has to wait, and they get in touch with a studio in Harlem that Kai’s dad’s brother’s best friend knows. The Lexington Collective usually works on independent rap albums, but they  _ do  _ have Ableton, so Kevin is able to pull up the file and bounce them a version that Waeng can master. “That way, it matches your sound instead of ours.”

“Not sure what an EDM sound and a punk rock sound have to do with each other,” Beomgyu notes aloud, “but we’ll do our best.” Notably, Soobin is absent from all of the meetings. In fact, when Beomgyu had told him they had gotten a hold of King Solomon’s remix for  _ Blue Orangeade,  _ he had snapped at Beomgyu, saying he “didn’t want to talk about it.” And Beomgyu respects that. 

But when he had stood in the Lexington Collective that day and heard Terry’s -- Taehyun’s -- work for the first time, Beomgyu had realized they had a hit on their hands. He’s not going to keep this from the world just because his promoter and best friend is having a little bunny meltdown.

So, on April 1st, as part of an April Fools Day celebration, Shelly posts the  _ Blue Orangeade  _ remix to Waeng’s SoundCloud. Mayumi doesn’t have access to it. She can do  _ nothing  _ but sit and watch. The remix makes its way to the front page of SoundCloud, and is also promoted by Waeng on their social media. While their fans typically listen to punk rock music, they like the remix enough that it gets played often. 

But Beomgyu isn’t done yet. Since Blue Orangeade is technically a Waeng song, Waeng owns the copyright, not King Solomon. In addition, Waeng now owns the masters, literally mailed to them by the original artist. So Beomgyu feels comfortable submitting the  _ Blue Orangeade  _ remix to Peperocky, an online EDM label that reposts music to YouTube. 

When Peperocky posts  _ Blue Orangeade,  _ it takes  _ off.  _ People start listening. There are hundreds of new comments everyday. And Beomgyu even gets a request to have the song featured in a commercial. Waeng has never sent music to streaming services before -- Beomgyu much prefers to perform it live and have people experience it in public, and to sell CDs at shows instead of streaming -- but they make an exception. The  _ Blue Orangeade  _ EP includes the original version, plus King Solomon’s remix, and a couple of other tracks they are able to scrounge up. 

Even Mayumi can’t miss it when it debuts at #183 on the iTunes Music Store.

“I don’t go on iTunes,” is Terry’s response when Mayumi shows him the store on her phone.

“Yeah, yeah, I know.” She sighs. “I guess we gotta play NeoNara, huh.”

And when Yeonjun gets the announcement that King Solomon has been booked for an afternoon timeslot on Friday, he Skype calls the  _ entire  _ gang to celebrate. This includes dragging Soobin into the mess, who up until now has been rather quiet and incredibly depressed. He has done everything he can to try and get over Taehyun, including going on a couple of (disastrous) blind dates, but has decided he is now in a relationship with bread, since bread will never leave him.

“You’re coming with us to the show, aren’t you,” Yeonjun says. It is not a question. It is a fact.

“I am not going. I have no place to stay.”

“Yes, you do,” Angel’s voice comes over Skype. “Shelly and I have our own RV this year. We’re not sharing with you losers. I want to share some peace and quiet with my future wifey!”

“So you can stay with Kai and me,” Beomgyu says. “Come on, Soob. If anything, do it for Waeng. Waeng needs you.”

Soobin almost says no again. But then he thinks about Taehyun. He imagines his big eyes, looking up at him, during the last few minutes of the Polaris Rider set.  _ Right before they kissed.  _ It is the image that has been burned into his retinas for the past nine months. It is the image that has haunted him since then. He had only known Taehyun for two days, but his heart aches for  _ more. _

“Okay,” he says, finally. “Okay. I’ll go.”


	5. 2014: Friday, Day One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think at this point you know what you're gonna get with this chapter. Things are gonna get worse before they get better. (PILE ON THE ANGST)
> 
> There is a LOT of throwing up this chapter and next. Just as a heads up. I didn't really mean for 2014 to be the year everybody gets sick/drunk at NeoNara, but here we are~

Soobin sleeps the entire way to NeoNara.

He leans his head against the window of the Amtrak train. He watches as Penn Station disappears from view, as concrete walls give way to the Hudson River, as the train departs New York City and heads north. And as he slowly nods off, he wishes he was anywhere but here.

Truth be told, Soobin wishes he could go back in time. He wishes he could go back to the first NeoNara festival, that during the Polaris Rider set, he had asked Taehyun Rhodes to be his boyfriend, for him to move down to New York City with him, to somehow live in the dorm together.  _ Anything to get Taehyun to stay with him.  _ But that isn’t how reality works, and while everybody else seems confident that they are going to get Taehyun back into their friend group, Soobin isn’t so convinced. 

He hates this Mayumi. It is the same circle of thoughts:  _ how dare she exist? She’s taking Taehyun away from me. But wait -- Taehyun was dating her while he was at NeoNara, so am I the bad guy? I miss him. I wish it wasn’t this way.  _ Lather, rinse, repeat. Soobin’s brain has been in a shower for the past year, and his hair is clean, but it hasn’t made him miss Taehyun any less. 

_ It’s not like you knew him,  _ a classmate had told him when he had opened up about his struggle. But somehow, Soobin still knew a lot about Taehyun -- his favorite color, that he was left handed, that he wanted dreams bigger than a part time job forever but didn’t fully know what those were yet, that he was good at music composition even if his mixing left something to be desired. He had found everything charming, and he had fallen in love with it all.

And then, it just wasn’t meant to be.

He dozes for an hour or two. When he wakes up, the train is traveling through the Allegheny Mountains. Decent sized peaks, covered with trees, surround Soobin. The Hudson River is still on his left as the train travels perpendicular to it. Soobin notices houses on the hills, birds flying in flocks, and even swears he sees a fish jump out of the water. 

He checks his trustworthy Blackberry.  _ A half hour to go.  _

Yeonjun had mentioned that Soobin should journal to Taehyun, whenever he missed him. But Soobin had never been the best with words, and he ended up spending his time wasting away in depression rather than doing something productive about his feelings. Yet now, he realizes there are so many things he wants to say to Taehyun.  _ I’ve missed you so much. This sounds weird, but I think I love you. I think you should break up with your girlfriend and date me instead.  _ And he has a feeling he will get a chance; Taehyun’s set is still confirmed for Friday afternoon at 3 PM.

But the only problem is Mayumi. He knows she will be there, controlling everything about Taehyun’s life. He hates how he keeps thinking about her, how she has ruined everything just by existing. He keeps trying to find something to like about her, but he just keeps feeling jealous.

He thinks about what Yeonjun had told him.  _ You have one shard of hope, Soobin. He came out with the remix when she said not to. At the very least, it means he wants to make music. Start there. I know it’s gonna hurt like a bitch, but you love him too much to let him go. So you gotta do something about it. _

Soobin wants to know more about Taehyun, more than just the way he tastes. He wants to know why he didn’t go to college -- the proper reason, not just this or that. He wants to know if he can drive, and if they can go on a date together in Albany, maybe see his high school, all the places he used to hang out. He wants to know Taehyun’s favorite books, and he even wants to meet Taehyun’s parents, as backward as they probably are. 

But more than that: he just wants a chance. And if he doesn’t get that chance, then he’ll know for sure. After all...he is now a senior at Baruch College. He has one more year. While he could certainly get a job and therefore a work visa, he doesn’t  _ have  _ to stay in America if this all goes badly. If Taehyun breaks his heart, he can go back to Korea, complete his military service, eat as many moon pies as he wants, and have his parents arrange a marriage for him.

The mountains part as the train accelerates towards Albany. Soobin recognizes the buildings: the office complex that looks like it was made by the people who built the first World Trade Center; the weird egg shaped like building; the odd State Capitol building that looks more like a European castle than the Greek architecture he has learned about that is favored for those types of things. Then, the train pulls into Rensselaer Rail Station, and he disembarks. Kai and his dad are waiting for him, and they get into their roomy BMW and are off to the campgrounds. 

“You boys let me know if you need anything,” Kai’s dad says as their driver escorts them away from the city. “I’m gonna stay out of your hair, but if there’s ever a problem like last year, I can be up here in a couple of hours.”

“Okay,” Kai says with a smile, wrapping his arm around his dad and patting his belly. Kai knows his dad is referencing when Waeng’s trailer sprung a leak; this year there should be no problems, as the band has a new trailer and it is not forecast to rain. 

They ride the rest of the way in silence. Then, the driver makes a right off of the state highway and into the campgrounds. There are  _ NeoNara  _ signs everywhere, and Soobin feels his stomach turn upside down.  _ This is it.  _ He’s back. Not only is he here to support Waeng again, but he’s going to find out what happened to Taehyun Rhodes, once and for all. 

Kai’s dad drops Kai and Soobin off at the edge of the campgrounds, and the boys walk from there, taking the same access road that Soobin did last year. Kai turns to Soobin. “You’re nervous.”

“No, I’m not.”

“Yes, you are, I can tell from how quiet you are.” And Kai gives Soobin a hug, rubbing his tummy as well. “So I’m gonna hold your hand, and we’re gonna walk together until we get ourselves checked in, and then we’re gonna go straight to the RV and stay there for a bit. And no matter what happens, we’re gonna have fun. But if you feel awful as well...that’s okay, too.”

“Okay.” Soobin takes a deep breath, and he grabs Kai’s hand, and together, the two of them walk into NeoNara. It’s too early for anybody to be playing, but the first thing Soobin notices is that the set-up is the same as last year. Which means the Rising Stage is right on the edge of the festival. It’s empty now, but Taehyun, as King Solomon, will be playing here again later. Soobin just hopes there will be more people watching than just him this time. 

They move past the Rising Stage and over to the registration tent. At this point, NeoNara is  _ dead.  _ Nobody’s around at all. The fair rides aren’t even set up yet, and most of the vendors are closed, having moved in the night before. Kai looks around for a staff member to check them in, but he can’t find anybody. “What happened here?”

“Soobin!” 

_ Thank God  _ that Soobin recognizes the voice as Yeonjun’s. He turns to greet his roommate and stops cold. In between the time that Soobin left New York City and now, Yeonjun’s hair has somehow turned a bright turquoise. “What did you do to your hair?!?” It had been platinum blonde before Soobin had left.

“I dyed it for the Hatsune Miku concert,” Yeonjun says with a grin. “You know, to promote the act and all that. We want as many people as possible there. You looking for Jennie? I think I saw her in the main building. Come on.” And with that, Soobin and Kai are whisked away into an actual building nearby with air conditioning, where most of the staff are staying at the moment. Apparently there is a heat advisory for the area, which explains why nobody is outside right now. Soobin and Kai are checked in, and after staying a bit in the cold air, they leave for the RV. 

“Shelly and Angel’s RV is right next to ours,” Kai says as he leads Soobin, who is still lost, across the vendors and to the RV camp. And it’s a good thing that Kai is leading Soobin, because Soobin can’t think straight at all. His head keeps whipping around, like he thinks somebody is stalking him. But in reality, he’s just looking for Taehyun -- or Mayumi. He’s not sure which one he wants to run into first. 

At least this year he won’t be automatically recognizable; his hair is back to its natural black color, and he wore a different T-shirt. He could add a surgical mask to hide his face, something not normal in America but very normal in Korea, and Taehyun probably wouldn’t even recognize him. But there’s one thing that Taehyun would recognize for sure: Soobin has his mostly-green paint shirt from last year in his backpack. He had nearly destroyed a campus washing machine when he had set the color, but it had been worth it. Even though it had been in a drawer most of the year, it was the one item he couldn’t be without this weekend. 

Kai finds lot 313 easily. “313 is ours, 314 is Shelly and Angel’s.” He skips up to the door and knocks. “Hello in there!”

Beomgyu opens the door with a smile. “Took you losers long enough!” They step up and into the RV, which is exactly like last year’s. There’s the driver’s spot that nobody will need, and the pull-down bed has already been activated. Soobin knows that is where he will be sleeping. It will be much more comfortable than last year’s tent, but probably nowhere near as special as Taehyun’s bed. At least he has a spot. Kai will be on the couch again, with Beomgyu in the back, probably messaging his girlfriend at all odd hours of the night like he usually does. 

Soobin throws his backpack up and into the bed. “It’s good to be here.”

“Yeah, and look what I brought.” Beomgyu digs into the fridge, pulling out a beer for everybody. “You in?”

Normally Soobin would be a bit more strict, but at this point, he doesn’t care. “This stays in the RV,” he says as he grabs the beer bottle from Beomgyu, then fails to open it. 

Beomgyu just laughs. “Newbie.” He pulls out a bottle opener and cracks all three of their beers open. “To NeoNara, and to our performance tomorrow!”

“To NeoNara!” goes the Traditional Kai Squeal.

“To NeoNara,” Soobin grumbles, and he takes a drink. He has to stop himself before he throws it back up. Soobin is  _ not  _ used to alcohol, and the alcohol he usually drinks is rice based, not wheat. But he tells himself that he could use the buzz before he goes to King Solomon’s set, and so he forces himself to down half the bottle before he talks again. “Why do we like this stuff again?”

“You’ll see, though you probably shouldn’t chug it like that.” Beomgyu shakes his head.

“Are you sure we couldn’t have brought anything...cuter to drink than this?” Kai asks. “You know, like some of those lemonades or something.”

“You’re such a wuss. Drink the beer.”

“Okay.” Kai sips on it, but doesn’t get much further than that. 

They sit for a while, and Beomgyu makes sure the air conditioning unit in the RV is at full blast. After a bit, they are hungry, so they travel to the food tent to get something to eat. During his trip, Soobin is still looking, eyes darting around, hoping to see Taehyun, anywhere,  _ somewhere.  _ The million and one scenarios that he has made up all play through his mind. Maybe Mayumi won’t be here. Maybe Mayumi prevented Taehyun from coming, and the set is cancelled. Maybe --

“Soobin. Your badge.”

“Oh.” Soobin whips out his badge, showing the man at the tent, and all three are let in together. Beomgyu immediately gravitates toward the steak on a stick that is already almost gone, and Kai’s first spot is the ice cream machine. Soobin stops in front of the fried chicken. He grabs a piece and, instead of putting it on his plate, he eats it while still in line. It tastes exactly the same as last year.

They sit together in a row, and Beomgyu waits until Soobin sits down to say it. “You know we’re all going with you, right.”

“Going where?”

“To the King Solomon set. I have to hear if he’s gonna play the remix or not. But also.” Beomgyu hands Soobin a key. “If you hate it and you absolutely want to leave, then just come back to the RV. I know you want to see him, but if things go bad, you can always just go back and stay in the RV for a bit.” 

After the group is done eating, they head back to the RV, where Beomgyu drinks another beer and Kai sets up all of the stuffed animals he brought. In order to get Soobin’s mind off of Taehyun and his impending doom, Beomgyu gives him another beer. But Soobin is not interested. He stares at the floor, feet dangling from the ceiling, wishing he would drink from it but he can’t. He needs to just go and get this over with. He needs for Mayumi to attack him for even wishing to talk to Taehyun. He need Taehyun to stand up for himself. He needs --

“Soobie.”

Soobin jumps, spilling the top of his beer all over the floor below. He looks down; Aqua Haired Yeonjun Choi is looking up at him with his duck face. “You’re coming, right?”

Soobin sighs. “Yeah. Sure.”

“Listen,” Kai says, and he takes one of Soobin’s arms. “We’re all in this together.”

“That’s right.” Yeonjun takes the other. “We’re the ones who reached out to King Solomon, and he made the remix. So we’re gonna see this through. All of us. And no matter what happens, Soobin, we’ll be here for you.” 

Soobin nods, and the four leave the trailer. Beomgyu borrows the key so he can lock it behind them. 

There are more people at NeoNara now, but nowhere near the massive crowds that will descend past 5 PM. For now, it’s mostly other artists roaming around and festival diehards who want to see everything. Yeonjun, Soobin, and Kai walk as a unit, step by step, Yeonjun on Soobin’s left and Kai on Soobin’s right. Beomgyu walks beside them, joined by Shelly and Angel, who have finally come out of their RV. It gives Soobin enough support that he doesn’t need to look up; he can look at his feet. 

_ Come on, Soobin. One foot in front of the other. It’s just an hour long set. You can do this. _

“Wow,” Yeonjun says at the same time Beomgyu goes, “Ho-lee-shit ~”

Soobin’s eyes dart up. The Rising Stage is all set up, and there is a  _ crowd.  _ It’s not nearly as massive as Waeng’s first crowd, but given the year that King Solomon has had to amass a following, this is something. Soobin guesstimates that there must be a hundred to a hundred and fifty people there. He recognizes some of them as Waeng regulars, and he picks Cici out of the crowd. “Cici!”

Cici turns and smiles at Soobin, waving. “Hey, guys! Glad you could make it.”

“Me, too.”

“Soobinnie, you look about ready to die. Is the heat getting to you?”

“It’s more than that,” Beomgyu says, then changes the subject. “You up here early?”

“Yeah, work gave me an extra day off, so I figured I’d use it. I’m excited to see what this kid can do. I loved the remix!”

“I feel like we’re all that way,” Yeonjun says, and then the foley music turns down.

Soobin can’t bring himself to look up at the stage. He knows what is happening: Taehyun is probably on stage now, doing last minute prep for his set, and then he is going to begin. And that Mayumi bitch is probably right by his side, making sure he never leaves. What will she do? Will it be the same as last year? 

“Soobin.” Yeonjun pokes Soobin in the shoulder. “Soobin. Look.”

He finally raises his eyes. 

Taehyun Rhodes is on stage. Mayumi is nowhere to be seen. And he looks  _ exactly  _ the same way he did a year ago. Same blue baseball cap, same massive over-the-ear headphones, same orange sweater even in this heat. He looks up for a moment, looking at his decks, and Soobin sees it’s those same huge eyes.

It’s  _ him. _

It’s  _ his Taehyun. _

Taehyun pushes a button, and the first song starts. And then, he puts the headphones down on the deck and he takes off his hat. Then, he lifts his orange sweater above his head.

Soobin gasps.

Under Taehyun’s sweater is the same paint shirt from last year’s Polaris Rider set. The color is a bit faded but is permanently on the shirt now, streaks of pink and orange over one shoulder, a design that Soobin had nearly memorized. He wishes he had brought it with him now, to match, but he hadn’t wanted to chance being disappointed. 

Taehyun tosses the orange sweater off-stage, then puts his headphones back on and looks out toward the crowd as the beat begins. He hasn’t said a word, but his message is loud and clear.

_ I remember. _

_ Soobin. _

_ Are you here? _

_ You shout it out _

_ But I can't hear a word you say _

_ I'm talking loud, not saying much _

_ I'm criticized, but all your bullets ricochet _

_ You shoot me down, but I get up _

__

Taehyun doesn’t want to look up.

He knows he’s caught between a rock and a hard place. Mayumi is standing right offstage, hidden behind the subwoofers, where nobody else can see her. She is watching his every move. If she wanted to, she could march onto the stage and shut him down, pull him off stage, embarrass him. He wouldn’t put it past her. She’s done it before, during the senior year that he DJ’d, because she was so mad that he was DJ’ing and not dancing with her. 

There are a million more reasons for Mayumi Tasogare Hoshizora the Third to ruin King Solomon’s career now. But Taehyun has already paid for his crimes. When his  _ Blue Orangeade  _ remix had been released by Waeng, Mayumi had kidnapped him, moving him into her dorm where she could monitor his every move. And when the school year ended and the dorms closed, she simply dragged him home with her, and her absent parents didn’t care.

He has spent four months as her slave. 

His music is all he has left.

__

_ Cut me down, but it's you who has further to fall _

_ Ghost town, haunted love _

_ Raise your voice, sticks and stones may break my bones _

_ I'm talking loud, not saying much _

__

He can hear the crowd that has gathered, but he still does not look up at them. He doesn’t want to know how many people have showed up just based on the strength of his  _ Blue Orangeade  _ remix alone. And he can’t bear to look for those who might save him. It’s not just Soobin -- if he sees Beomgyu, or Daniel Choi, then his face will give him away. And what would Mayumi do then? Probably a lot more than make him her live-in maid, cooking every meal for her, doing all of her homework, and giving her all his free time every night. 

He hates how embarrassed he feels,  _ how emasculated  _ this entire situation has been. And he has an hour to tell the truth, through his music. He fades seamlessly to the next track, cutting away from one chorus to go to another.

__

_ So I put my faith in something unknown _

_ I'm living on such sweet nothing _

_ But I'm tired of hope with nothing to hold _

_ I'm living on such sweet nothing _

_ And it's hard to learn, and it's hard to love _

_ When you're giving me such sweet nothing _

__

Taehyun’s mind buzzes in the background, on pins and needles, waiting for Mayumi to do something, say something,  _ anything  _ to bring the attention on her again. Typically he would find a way to fit one of her favorite songs in the set, or even his first (and only) original song that she had contributed vocals to. But she now hated that song, and she had forbidden him from playing it.

He affords a quick glance up. There are ten to twelve high school kids dancing at the foot of the stage. He recognizes Sam and Maykie and Javonte as underclassmen from Rensselaer, and it helps him loosen up a little.  _ You know this crowd, Terry. You’re safe here.  _

And then he shakes his head.  _ Get a grip. Terry isn’t my name. _

__

_ Get down, get up again _

_ Come on, come on move _

_ Get down, get up again _

_ Work it, do it overtime _

_ A feeling that I know so well _

_ Oh it's got me in its spell _

_ It's such a sweet sensation, oh, oh _

__

The fade is perfect, and Taehyun actually feels on top of his game for once. Now if he can just stay in the zone long enough for Mayumi to not have a problem. 

He sways to the beat, just a bit, then affords himself a smile. Mayumi might be able to take a lot from him, but she can’t take this new confidence. He got that all by himself by making the remix. And so he lets Cash Cash flow right into the backbeat, drums and bass keeping the crowd going while he queues the remix up. When the synths start playing, Taehyun hears the crowd’s reaction, and his smile is even wider. 

And then, it is ruined.

“Already?!?” he hears Mayumi yell from behind the subwoofers. She’s criticizing his song choice, even though he submitted all the songs he was going to play beforehand. He affords himself a glance back. Mayumi is in her short shorts, combat boots, and faux  _ shinsengumi happi  _ that she got from some anime convention at RPI in March. Her hair is bubblegum pink now, long, tied up in two pigtails like Sailor Chibi Moon, but she looks as lethal as Black Lady.

He just shrugs it off. She can eat dirt right now.

__

_ Someone said, what’s going on _

_ Opposite attraction _

_ What is this feeling inside me? _

_ You think I wouldn’t know, but _

_ I know we’re about to blow up _

_ And there ain’t no use denying _

__

Taehyun plays the  _ entire  _ Blue Orangeade remix, adding some multi pad elements to hype the crowd further. They all know exactly where the breaks are, and they jump along, screaming almost so loud that he can hear it over his in-ear monitors. Taehyun forces himself to smile on the inside. He just hopes they like the rest of his set. 

The track ends with a bang, and Taehyun queues up the next track while the crowd cheers, still hype from hearing their new favorite remix being played live. Taehyun knows better than to say anything; he can’t even if he wants to. Mayumi won’t let him have a microphone. So he affords himself to look up from the boards and give the crowd a smile and a wave. 

And that’s when he sees just  _ how  _ many people are there. It’s not a lot, not the thousands that attended Polaris Rider’s set last year. And it’s way too light out for them to have glowsticks. But there have to be at least a hundred people out there, and not all of them are from Rensselaer. He smiles.  _ Do you see me, Soobin? Are you here? I did it. I’m doing it! _

He turns back to his boards.  _ And this next song is for you. Mayumi threw such a fit, but I told her I had to include it. A brand new remix, just for you. _

The new song starts off soft, with glitzy pad elements sparkling over strings, giving the set an ethereal feel. Then, someone’s vocals --  _ two  _ sets of vocals -- punch through the air.

__

_ The light is fading from the afterglow _

_ The battle’s over and I’m slowly dying _

_ I can’t deny that I’ve been here before _

_ But what’s the use if there is no sense trying _

__

Isolating the stems from Polaris Rider’s  _ Song For Fury  _ had been a pain and had been taking too much time, but Taehyun had gotten lucky -- another artist on SoundCloud had isolated them and posted them for anybody else to remix. The remix had been created with Mayumi’s approval, and parts of it had been changed to fit what she wanted to hear, but at least it was done. It was a new song to share with the crowd, a remix of a now famous song by one of the most famous DJs in America.

Mayumi just didn’t know that her boyfriend had kissed another boy during this song’s premiere last year.

__

_ Inside my heart, the battle rages on _

_ And all that I can do is sing our song _

_ I wanna know, when everything is all said and done _

_ Will our fury still live on? _

__

Taehyun enters the trance section, and the top layer bottoms out. Everybody dances. Even without watching them, Taehyun can feel their energy, and it powers him through and out of the new remix, to the next song.

__

_ You lift my heart up when the rest of me is down _

_ You, you enchant me, even when you're not around _

_ If there are boundaries, I will try to knock them down _

_ I'm latching on babe, now I know what I have found _

_ Now I got you in my space, I won't let go of you _

_ Got you shackled in my embrace, I'm latching on to you _

__

This is a  _ very  _ popular new song with a new artist, Sam Smith, singing on the main vocal line. And sure enough, Taehyun’s ear for what’s popular in EDM means the kids are really loving it. Soobin had been right. Playing to lots of people was so much better than playing for one. He flashes back, just briefly, to standing on the stage with Soobin last year, at Polaris’ set, when Party Rock Anthem had been playing.

_ “I wanted you to see the view from the stage! King Solomon!” _

_ King Solomon,  _ he thinks with a smile. 

He plays a couple of instrumental tracks next, then fades back out. In lieu of having a microphone and conversing with the audience, Taehyun plays a piano loop over the next set of strings before a familiar voice cuts through. It’s not the same Zedd song that Polaris had played, but he hopes that wherever Soobin is, he recognizes it all the same. 

__

_ 'Cause you are the piece of me I wish I didn't need _

_ Chasing relentlessly, still fight and I don't know why _

_ If our love is tragedy, why are you my remedy? _

_ If our love's insanity, why are you my clarity? _

__

Taehyun lets this song stay longer than it should, looping the breakdown a couple of times just to give the audience something to dance to. He glances back. Mayumi has her arms crossed, leaning against the subwoofer, still mostly unseen, monitoring his every move. But she hasn’t made a fool out of him yet, so that’s a plus.

He heads into the end of his set, matching the beat of Clarity with a newer EDM track by Audien. It’s an almost effortless transition from one to the other, and it works well. As Foxes’ lyrics ends, Matthew Koma comes back in.

__

_ Everybody’s here because they love you _

_ Oh, the city tonight is a diamond of light put on a string that you’re wearing _

_ You’re my weather, you’re my clothing, you’re my serotonin  _

_ I never wanna come down from you _

__

There’s a significant drop in this track as well, and it keeps the kids distracted and dancing. Taehyun can’t help but wish there was more of his  _ own  _ sound in this set, instead of him just mixing a bunch of famous tracks. But Mayumi hasn’t really afforded him the chance to write and mix his own stuff. Especially after the whole  _ Blue Orangeade  _ fiasco, she had basically taken his computer from him, using it to play Minecraft instead. The  _ Song For Fury  _ remix had only been made because Taehyun had insisted that the crowds would want at least one new song, and Mayumi had relented as long as she had been in charge of it. 

And this is fun and all. But if he is going to be  _ really  _ famous someday, if he is going to command the kind of crowds Soobin had once talked about, he needs more original material. And Mayumi won’t let him play it. 

He starts setting up for the finale, queueing up a new artist named Madeon, when he catches something out of the corner of his eyes. He glances up, just long enough to catch a  _ really  _ tall kid in the back running after somebody else. He recognizes them immediately as Kai Huening and Beomgyu Choi from Waeng.  _ They did come to his set!  _

And then he glances to the right.

The hair is different, a black color instead of blue, and he’s wearing a different shirt and a surgical mask. It’s almost as if he’s  _ trying  _ to hide...which, if he’s trying to hide from Mayumi, he’s doing a good job. But Taehyun can see straight through him.

It’s him.

_ Choi Soobin. _

Taehyun feels like he’s dying, because his entire life flashes before his eyes. And Soobin is in every frame, staring into his eyes.

He turns back to his laptop and switches the song before Mayumi can stop him. There will need to be a BPM adjustment, but he can make it. The transition from Audien to this is a bit awkward since the introduction is softer, but he arrives at his destined track and takes a deep breath. 

He raises his head, looks for Soobin. 

And then he mouths the words. 

__

_ Do you remember the night we met? _

_ You took my hand, we knew it was love at first sight. _

_ And we made a promise that night to be together forever. _

_ Call my name and I’ll be there _

_ Sing me sweetly to sleep _

_ Never forget the promise we made that night _

_ Call my name, just call my name _

__

Taehyun lets the song stay on through the buildup, but instead of dropping, he  _ immediately  _ starts the Madeon song. He can’t look back at Mayumi now. He knows she’s  _ furious. _

__

_ Your last chance, last summer _

_ Your last dance, beat to your own drummer _

_ You go out fighting, go out young _

_ A flash of lightning eclipse the sun _

__

These last couple of songs are not very danceable, but Taehyun thinks that’s okay. He’s basically given a hundred and fifty people a forty five minute workout. They can breathe. 

With a  _ brace yourself for the big finale,  _ Taehyun starts mixing in the last track, twinkling synths playing a melody that most everybody is starting to learn. He’s changed the pitch of these to match the Madeon song, at least for now. Once the crowd figures out what song is being played, they start cheering again.

But Taehyun isn’t expecting them to  _ sing along. _

__

_ Who survived? Somebody new? Anyone else but you? _

_ On a lonely night was a blinding light _

_ A hundred leaders would be borne of you _

_ And though I know, since you've awakened her again _

_ She depends on you, she depends on you _

_ She'll go alone and never speak of this again _

_ We depend on you, we depend on you _

__

Taehyun bobs his head to the beat as everybody still dances through the slow beat, absorbing the song. He wishes he could play this at night. This would be a perfect song to break out some glowsticks for. And he lets himself rest easy on his heels, closing his eyes. There is nothing more that has to be done for this set. He has had his fun. 

Now comes the hard part. 

Sad Machine, the final track, fades away, and Taehyun bows to the crowd. And they applaud like crazy, screaming their approval. Then, he turns to Mayumi, and before he can stop her, she runs onto the stage. She is  _ nothing  _ but happy, and she wraps his arms around him and gives him a kiss on the cheek, in front of  _ everybody, in front of Soobin. _

Well.

Here she is, making it all about her again. 

“You were  _ fantastic,”  _ Mayumi says with a smile. “We need to clean up now, right?”

“We do.”

“It should be pretty simple.” And Mayumi starts unplugging stuff before the music is done, causing the speakers to  _ pop  _ loudly for the audience. She starts wrapping up cables, throwing them on Taehyun’s decks before Taehyun can stop her. 

“Excuse me?”

The voice makes Mayumi stop,  _ cold.  _ She stands up, holding a mostly wound XLR in her arms. “And who are you?” she asks, suddenly, certain she had heard a man.

But she  _ hadn’t.  _ She had just clocked Shelly Wright.

“I’m looking for a Mayumi, might you be her?” Shelly asks, decked out in Waeng gear, including a purple Waeng t-shirt and knee-high socks in transgender colors.

Mayumi pauses. “Yes? I’m sorry, who are you?” She probably hadn’t been expecting a woman to be talking to her after her boyfriend’s set. And then Mayumi notices Shelly’s T-shirt. “Wait, you’re from that band! I didn’t know there was a girl in Waeng!” 

“I am. My name is Shelly Wright, and I am the master engineer in charge of Waeng’s music. I finished the master for the Blue Orangeade remix you guys did.”

“Aww, it was nothing. It was all my boyfriend’s work.”

“I wanted to stop you when I had a chance, because I think there’s something important we should be discussing. And I wanted to grab you before you left the stage. As his manager, it pretty well concerns you and not him.”

Mayumi looks back at Taehyun -- who is now  _ properly  _ wrapping up the cables before the next set -- and then back at Shelly. “What would concern me and not him? He comes everywhere with me.”

“I’m not sure you realize, but King Solomon’s Blue Orangeade remix has been getting a lot of play, not only on YouTube, but also on terrestrial television. The problem is that we don’t have his information, and he’s not a member of a professional rights organization, so we can’t distribute his mechanical royalties.”

Shelly sounded like she was speaking Greek to Mayumi. “What now?”

“Basically, your remix is so popular that you’re missing out on  _ money.  _ Like,  _ thousands of dollars worth of money.  _ I’m guessing you’re the person I need to talk to regarding his finances? _ ”  _ And Shelly knew she had Mayumi in the bag. She could see it on Mayumi’s face, her thinking about how Taehyun’s remix was earning him a lot of money, then thinking about how she could just take that money for herself instead of giving it rightfully to him. After all, she was in control of his life, right?

“Oh, yes, I’d love to talk,” she says with a smile, suddenly very giddy. “We don’t have to include him for this. I’ve got all of his information. He doesn’t need to be worried about it.”

And Shelly is a great actor. “Let’s just keep it between us girls then, okay? You’re such a great girlfriend to him. I can already tell you’ve got this handled.” So it is that Shelly Wright leads The Horror That Is Mayumi Tasogare Hoshizora the Third off of the Rising Stage and to the food tent, intent on talking about BMI and ASCAP and performance royalties and getting Taehyun (not Mayumi) signed up with his own professional rights organization. And while Mayumi has control of Taehyun’s bank account for now, Shelly is hoping it won't last.

Besides, if Mayumi is with Shelly in the tent, having girl time and keeping secrets from Taehyun, that means she  _ isn’t  _ beside Taehyun for once.

He finishes wrapping his current XLR, securing it with Velcro and putting it in the pile. Then, he goes to reach for his fader, but it’s already off of the table. He looks around and stops cold. Standing on the stage, holding Taehyun’s fader, is Soobin Choi. He’s taken off his mask at this point, revealing the bunny smile that Taehyun had missed so much.

“Hi.”

“What -- what are you doing here?” Taehyun’s eyes dart around. 

“Oh, I wouldn’t be worried. Your girlfriend is hanging out with Shelly for a bit in the food tent.” Soobin turns back to Taehyun. “We got about a half hour before she returns.”

“A half hour…” And Taehyun finds himself breathing a sigh of relief. A half hour isn’t much, but it’s what he will take. 

* * *

“So  _ how  _ did you manage to get rid of my -- ugh -- girlfriend?” Taehyun asks as he walks with Soobin, Beomgyu, and Kai back to his RV.

“The magic of girl power,” Beomgyu explains. “And inferring a few things about that bitch who leeches onto you.”

Taehyun whips out the RV keys and unlocks it; he steps in, and Soobin, Beomgyu, and Kai follow in. Taehyun locks the door behind them, then tries to calm himself for a moment. Mayumi is nowhere to be seen, and Soobin --  _ his Soobin --  _ is here. Soobin! He keeps himself from throwing himself at Soobin, wanting to hug him, knowing that Mayumi will somehow still find out. She always does. And if she finds out he even  _ looked  _ at Soobin wrong, he’s done for. 

“Shelly’s gonna message me when she’s done with Mayumi, so we should know when she’s headed back this way,” Beomgyu says. “But we don’t have much time.”

“Time to what?” Taehyun makes the mistake of asking. Beomgyu and Kai are still here. It’s not like he’s  _ alone  _ with Soobin. 

“We gotta figure out how you’re breaking up with Mayumi,” Kai says before Soobin can interrupt.

Soobin and Beomgyu both nod. 

Taehyun pauses.  _ This  _ is why all three of them are here. It’s not just him reuniting with Soobin. Waeng is hatching a plot to get Taehyun away from Mayumi. “No. No, no -- I -- I appreciate your help, guys, but I can’t break up with her. I’m stuck with her.”

“And why is that?” Kai asks.

“Because she’s -- she’s insane.”

“Oh, trust me,” Beomgyu says with a roll of his eyes, “we  _ know  _ that, too. We figured it out a long time ago.”

“Mayumi’s manipulating your entire life,” Soobin says, his voice gentle. “Isn’t she?”

And Taehyun pauses. He knows what they don’t. He knows about the thrown dishes, the destroyed pillows, the battle scars, all of the time he has spent on her. Soobin and Beomgyu and Kai...they don’t know about that. But they’re still right. Mayumi has been manipulating his life for  _ ages.  _ And he still hasn’t broken free.

“She’s a danger to herself,” he finally answers. ”I’m the only one who can keep her from hurting herself.”

“But you’re not,” Beomgyu says, cutting in again. “There are programs for that, and centers where she can get help, and --”

“The point we’re trying to make is that she’s not your responsibility,” Kai says. He turns to Soobin. “Soobin, why aren’t you saying anything?”

Soobin looks at his feet. “I...I don’t have much to say. I’m just glad to see you. I thought I was never gonna see you again.”

It takes Taehyun back to the end of last year’s NeoNara, crying in the RV alone, sure he had lost not only Soobin, but any chance at freedom. He had had occasional communication with Beomgyu and Shelly regarding the remix, but nothing from Soobin. He had been forced to believe Soobin didn’t care anymore. 

Soobin  _ does  _ care. 

“Okay. So I break up with Mayumi. Then what? She sets NeoNara on fire? I don’t trust her to go psychotic if I leave her sight. She has before. I --” He moves his right thumb against his ear, brushing away a strand of hair. “Right here. There should be a scar. We fought one time, and I got that.”

“She gave you a scar during a fight?” goes the Traditional Kai Squeal. “That’s  _ so  _ not cool!”

“That’s assault,” Beomgyu says with a wince. “And you’re putting up with that?”

Taehyun shrugs. “If I don’t, something really bad would happen. And if she died, I would be to blame.”

“Didn’t I just say you weren’t responsible for her?” Kai squeals again.

Taehyun tries to snap back with a retort, but it doesn’t work. He doesn’t have anything else to say. “...okay, so, I know I’m stuck. I don’t want to be here anymore. I don’t want to be with  _ her  _ anymore. You’re right about that. So I guess I could try to break up with her. We just need a way to get her away from me and everybody else. Once she finds out I’m breaking up with her, she’s either going to attack me or herself. Depends on how she’s feeling.”

“I mean, we’re in public, so as long as you don’t do it here at the RV, somebody will see,” Soobin says. 

“You could do it at the food tent,” Beomgyu muses. “Could have a big audience that way.”

Kai is deep in thought, but he finally squeaks into action. “I’ve got it! Do it at the Waeng set! Look, everybody loves your remix, right? How about this, Gyu. If Taehyun and Psycho Woman can come watch the Waeng set, you can pick him out of a crowd and say something like,  _ oh, there’s King Solomon now! Let’s have him come up here and say a word or two about the remix!  _ And of course everybody’s going to get hype about it, be all like,  _ raaaaaaaaaah! We love you, King Solomon!  _ But then you get on stage and instead of talking about the remix, you say something like,  _ I’d like to thank my girlfriend Mayumi for being so supportive, but I don’t love you anymore, we’re breaking up!  _ Then she’ll be so mortified and she can’t do anything about it!”

Beomgyu loses it laughing. “You’ve got to be shitting me!”

“A public break-up.” Taehyun mulls over the idea. “It just might work. I mean, if Shelly could require me to be at the Waeng set because of my remix, I can’t miss it. And we could just get security to stop Mayumi from bothering us after that.” He grins. “I like it! But what happens to her afterward? She could come back here or try to hurt herself in a bathroom or something.”

“I bet Yeonjun-hyung can help with that,” Soobin says. “He practically knows all of the NeoNara staff now. Could get extra security for the Waeng set for sure.”

“So when she starts acting violently, we call security and that’s the end of it,” Beomgyu confirms. “She’s escorted off the premises,  _ hasta la vista, baby!  _ And then you can breathe again.”

“You really don’t like her, do you?” Kai asks. “Please say no. She’s such a hot mess.”

And Taehyun finally allows himself a chance to laugh. Right now, he’s not concerned about what he’s lost with Soobin. Right now, he’s around friends. Friends who are actually going to listen to him. Friends who might make things at least a little better. “I can’t with you guys. You haven’t seen me in a year, and you’re still helping me out?”

“That’s what friends do,” Beomgyu says.

Taehyun nods. “Right. Friends.” He catches a glance at Soobin. 

“Okay, but,” Kai interrupts, “the two of you need to talk.” And he grabs Soobin by the arm, motioning for Taehyun to follow him. “Go into the bedroom and talk for a second before Mayumi comes back! We got a plan, now just go be happy!” 

Taehyun follows along. “Happy?”

“Dude, we know you were all over each other last year. Either be a thing or don’t be a thing, but as far as I can tell, the two of you are better people together than you ever were apart.”

“But --” Taehyun tries to interject. “Do you want me to -- I cheated on my girlfriend last year!”

Beomgyu just shrugs from afar. “It’s not cheating if you’re not in love with her.”

“I don’t want to hear a word from either one of you until Shelly texts Beomgyu,” Kai whispers, and then he shuts the curtain, ‘trapping’ Soobin and Taehyun in the bedroom. 

“Oh,” Taehyun mutters as Soobin looks around. The room is technically the same since last year, but it is a destroyed mess. The pillows are on the ground, and the floor is taken up by a huge tie blanket with rainbows on it. An entire corner hosts no less than ten stuffed animals. But Taehyun is there, back in his orange sweater and blue baseball cap.

“Nice shirt,” he whispers.

“What?” Taehyun looks down.

“Under it.”

“Under -- oh.” Taehyun blushes. “Thank you.”

“You think I didn’t hear you loud and clear on that stage? I heard every word.”

And Taehyun finds himself at a loss of what to say. He had been hoping Soobin would hear. He hadn’t been expecting any time to  _ talk to him.  _ But he can’t just confess to Soobin, not with Mayumi nearly within hearing distance at all times. And not while he is still technically dating her. Plus, there’s the fact that they haven’t seen each other in a year. 

“Taehyun.” 

It’s the first time Terry Rhodes has been called by his real name in a year. “Soobin.”

Their eyes meet.

“Do you have any clue how much I’ve missed you?”

“Do you --” Taehyun’s voice cracks as he tears up -- “do you -- I’m so sorry --”

Soobin reaches forward, wanting to pull Taehyun close, to bridge this gap that has formed between him.  _ To make Taehyun his.  _ But Taehyun takes a step backward, away from Soobin’s arms, into the mess of pillows and plushies.

“I can’t,” he says, his voice soft, somehow not his. “I can’t, I --”

“You have a girlfriend.” Soobin feels almost ready to throw up. “I get it.”

“It’s not that, I just --”

“We can just forget last year ever happened, if that feels better for you --”

“NO!” Taehyun yells, suddenly, unaware of his own vocal strength. “I mean...no.” He looks at his feet. “I mean, that’s not it at all. Last year...was, like, the greatest time of my life. I learned so many things.”

Soobin pauses. He’s not sure how much of this he wants to hear. “Taehyun --”

“I learned my real name, and, uh, I figured out that...I’m gay.” Taehyun smiles and shrugs. “So. Uh. Mayumi is a manipulative bitch, but kissing her has kind of always been the grossest thing ever. I just didn’t know what I was missing.”

Soobin  _ really, really, really  _ wants to kiss Taehyun right now. But since Taehyun technically has a girlfriend, he can’t bring himself to do it. “Oh,” is all he says in response. 

“So. Um. In case you were wondering, I...don’t regret last year. I’m not mad about it. I don’t...I mean...I was fine with it. That’s what I mean. Probably shouldn’t be fine with it right now, though, with Mayumi being here. I don’t want her to find out anything between now and tomorrow. That would be horrible, it’s just…” Taehyun takes a deep breath. “I missed you, so much, and I’ve been so alone and all I’ve been able to focus on is my music because I was hoping you would listen --”

“Can I hold you?” Soobin asks this time. “Please -- can I at least do that?”

Taehyun finally nods, and Soobin steps over the plushies and wraps him up in his arms, pulling Taehyun’s frame into his,  _ melding  _ into one. Taehyun feels the same as he did a year ago, although he smells different, probably Mayumi’s doing. But Soobin doesn’t care. This is what he has waited for, for an entire year. Taehyun feels familiar.  _ Like home,  _ but like a new house, a place where he’s just starting to get comfortable, where he needs to move all his belongings in but at least he has a place to sleep. He pulls him even closer, knocking off his baseball cap with one hand, letting Taehyun bury his face in Soobin’s shoulder. 

“I’m sorry, Soobin,” he hears Taehyun say. “I’m so sorry. I should have checked for your number, and now all of this is a mess. And I don’t even know if -- if you want to even be my friend anymore, or --”

Soobin pulls back a bit. “What do you mean,  _ friend _ ?”

“It’s been a year, Soobin. Everything has changed. You probably -- what we did last year --”

Soobin can’t hold back anymore. He closes the gap between him and Taehyun, but cups his cheeks and places a soft, chaste kiss on his forehead instead. 

“Nothing has changed,” he whispers. 

Taehyun looks up into Soobin’s eyes, the stars in his own eyes calling out to him, begging him silently to break all of the rules, to kiss him again, to purposefully cheat against the girl who has cheated Taehyun out of so much. Their eyes lock, and Soobin feels the pull, feels the unspoken wave of World Series feelings that he has missed so much.

And then Mayumi slams on the door.

“TERRY RHODES, YOU LOCKED ME OUT!!!”

“Shit,” Taehyun whispers, backing away from Soobin just as Kai barges into the bedroom.

“Sorry, time’s up,” he whispers.

“We know, we know,” Taehyun says as he leaves Soobin behind, nearly stomping through the RV and to the door. He thought he would have had more time than this, but apparently no text message had come in. He forces his emotions back into his body, wills himself not to cry, and smiles when he opens the door. “Oh, my God, sweetie, I’m so sorry. One of the others must have locked it.”

“It was me,” Beomgyu lies. 

It works. Mayumi huffs at Beomgyu. “That’s great, now all of you, get out. I’ve got important business to attend to here.”

“Important business?” Soobin asks, turning to Taehyun, but Taehyun is now silent. He doesn’t have a voice against Mayumi. 

“Out.” She crosses her arms. “Before I call security. You’re officially on my property.”

The three boys are silent, then Kai goes, “Actually, isn’t this Terry’s parents’ RV?”

“OUT!!!” Mayumi screams, rushing after Kai. With a Traditional Kai Squeal, he runs down the stairs and out of the RV. Soobin and Beomgyu follow quickly behind. Mayumi sticks her head out the door. “I don’t want to see ANY of you men, EVER AGAIN!” And she slams the door. 

“You didn’t have to kick them out like that,” Taehyun says, finally finding his voice again.

“And what? Leave them alone with you again?” Mayumi surrounds Taehyun, checking every part of his body, manhandling the merchandise. Taehyun is used to this by now; whenever he’s around strangers, Mayumi always checks him after to make sure he wasn’t “possessed by demons” without her around. He holds his breath, hoping he doesn’t somehow smell like Soobin from that hug. 

He finds himself thankful that he didn’t kiss Soobin.

Even though it hurts like a bitch.

“They’re just friends from the band. I told you that.”

“And I told you I don’t want you fraternizing with anybody.” Mayumi backs off. Apparently Taehyun is clean. “Okay, so now that I got that all straightened out, here’s what we’re gonna do. We need food, and then we’re going to the Photon Maiden set tonight. Remember those lightsticks I bought at Genericon for the Hatsune Miku concert? I wanna try them out tonight.”

And then, she stares Taehyun down. “But first, I want a little something from you.” And she walks over to the stairwell and locks the RV door.

Soobin gets dragged to the food tent by Beomgyu and Kai. Shelly is still sitting under it, from where she and Mayumi had been talking about performing rights organizations and mechanical royalties and whatever else she had been doing to keep Mayumi away from Taehyun. And it had worked...sort of. 

“She left in a complete huff,” Shelly says, stress eating empty tortilla shells from the food bar. “She signed off on all the paperwork, then said something about how I was going to attack Taehyun and take him away from her, and that she was “onto me” or something. Then, she ran off. I texted you guys, but I don't know if you got it in time.”

“We didn’t.” Soobin collapses into a chair. “What food is up there?”

“Vegetarian and organic.”

“Gross. I want chocolate.”

“One chocolate sundae, coming up,” Beomgyu says, and he runs over to the dessert stand. 

“Dessert for dinner?” Kai asks.

Shelly chuckles. “When your heart is broken, you need all the help you can get, and that help usually comes from ice cream. I should know. The first time I dated someone, I threw everything I had into it. But it just wasn’t right, just wasn’t meant to be. Over the next month, after we had broken up, I sat on the couch, went through five pints of Ben & Jerry’s, and watched  _ He’s Just Not That Into You  _ at least twenty times. I swear Netflix has that DVD on re-order for me. But then I met Angel, and, well, she’s my angel.”

“That is the most talkative I have ever heard you be,” Soobin says with a laugh. This is true; Shelly is usually the quiet, introverted one, while Angel talks enough for the both of them.

“What can I say? I just really love my Angel.”

Beomgyu comes back with an entire plate full of chocolate ice cream, sprinkles, and chocolate sauce. It looks like a mess, which is why Soobin tells himself he has to eat it quickly. And eat it quickly he does, starting with the top, taking a bite. With every bite he takes, he thinks a little bit of Taehyun, of how close he was to him in the RV just now, of how he didn’t smell right at all, of how he should have kissed him but couldn’t. 

_ Nothing has changed.  _ But that’s not true at all. Everything has changed. 

“I’m so over this,” he says, eating the rest of the ice cream in one sitting. Then, for good measure, he goes up to the salad bar and grabs half a plate of chicken salad and half a plate of pasta salad. “I’m so done.”

“You don’t mean that,” Beomgyu says. “Not with the way you were just looking at him.”

“What am I supposed to do?” Soobin doesn’t realize he’s crying until he starts tasting tears along with the melting ice cream. “Taehyun’s got Mayumi. She won’t leave him alone. And he wants to break up with her, but he won’t just do it.”

“Let’s wait until the set tomorrow to see how things go,” Shelly says. “Until then, you should eat all the ice cream you can.”

But Soobin isn’t able to shake that weird feeling in his gut, that feeling that tells him he’s stuck in a nightmare. The only person he wants is held captive by an evil witch, and Soobin himself is somehow under her spell. He eats the ice cream, and then he asks to go back to the RV. 

“Are you sure you don’t want to go to a show with us?” Beomgyu asks. “We’re going to the Glittering Light set.”

“Nah, I’m good,” Soobin says, and he takes the keys back to lot 313. When he unlocks everything, he suddenly realizes just how alone he is. The RV is quiet and dark, Beomgyu and Kai are at their show, and Taehyun is...with Mayumi. Somewhere. Not with Soobin. 

He changes into the pajamas that he brought specifically for this weekend, then grabs a beer and turns on the television in the RV. It’s hooked up to a basic satellite connection, so there’s not much, but there are newscasters talking about happenings in the Capital region, and it makes Soobin feel less alone. He still hates the taste of beer, but he hopes that if he can drink enough of it, it will wash away this feeling, make him feel better about losing Taehyun to some weird white girl with pink hair and bad makeup.

It’s this decision that is Soobin’s first mistake...not to mention his second and third.

Beomgyu and Kai come back to the RV after the Glittering Light set to find the trailer unlocked and Soobin, sitting all by himself, at the booth. He’s watching some infomercial at this point, something about magic towels that can mop up anything. There are four empty beer bottles on the table in front of him.

“Soobin,” Beomgyu says, jumping into the trailer and collecting the bottles.  “How many of these did you drink?”

“I don’t know. I lost count.” Soobin leans his head against the booth table. Everything spins. At least he can’t remember anything anymore.   


“Uh, oh, Soobin!” he can hear Kai’s voice from across the trailer. “What happened here?”

“I don’t know, I lost count.”

He can hear Beomgyu chuckle. “Okay, then, if you were gonna sit around here and get drunk instead of coming to the Glittering Light show with us, let’s just hope you didn’t drink the entire refrigerator out.” Sure enough, not even Soobin could make that big of a dent in the stock that Beomgyu had brought. He grabs one. “Let me just...check how these taste.”

Two hours later, the Waeng trailer is worse for wear. Beomgyu is giggly, three beers in. Soobin has only drank one more, pulling his full count to five. But it is Kai, for some reason, who has had  _ three,  _ in addition to some fruity drink he was able to peruse from some party goer at the set they went to. “They were legit, I promise,” Kai keeps saying, but at this point none of his words are really making sense. While Beomgyu is a giggly drunk, looking every which way with stars in his eyes, and Soobin is mostly quiet and depressed, Kai is  _ clingy.  _ He first sits on Soobin’s lap, and then when Soobin does not respond, he gets all up in Beomgyu’s business, nearly accidently humping him as Beomgyu gets up from the table. 

“You can’t do that to me,” he says, and Kai storms off to the back bedroom, off to go do something. Beomgyu sits at the table, across from Soobin, who is staring glassy-eyed at the line of beer bottles on the table. “Soobin, are you all right?”

“Mmn?”

“Are you all right? You got drunk so you could forget Taehyun, right?”

And Soobin suddenly starts to cry. “I didn’t want to think about him,” he whines. “I miss him so much. He’s supposed to be mine. This is stupid.”

“Then why don’t you just go ask him out?”

“Because --” Soobin cries harder, and his words can't match up with his feelings. He feels alienated. Broken. Like he’s in pieces on the RV floor, staring at the ceiling. Beomgyu’s right. Soobin should have gone to the Glittering Light show with them, had some fun, listened to a new act, maybe even met some cute stranger and forgotten all about Taehyun. But who is he kidding? He can’t forget about Taehyun. Not now. Not ever. He considers that maybe he is just doomed to be in love with someone who won’t ever actually be with him, for the rest of eternity. 

“Soob.”

“Mmn?”

Beomgyu points to the table. Their previous conversation is forgotten. “Is that a bug?”

Soobin glares closer. The tacky 90’s paisley design on the table starts blurring, but he swears he notices something crawling across it. “Kai,” he yells. “Kaaaaaaaaaaai.”

“I am trading Streetpass tags with Yeonjun,” Kai’s voice comes in from across the RV. “Give me two seconds.”

“It’s a bug,” Beomgyu says, no longer giggly drunk but  _ panicked  _ drunk, and he gets up from the table, shoving the table so that the decidedly-definitely-a-bug goes  _ airborne.  _ Soobin jumps, flails, and nearly lands out of the booth. Beomgyu scrambles up the side chairs to Soobin’s bed above the driver’s seat, pulling all the covers over him in an attempt to hide from the bug.

Soobin’s brain can’t catch up. He feels a hand on his shoulder and what has to be Kai’s voice. “Soobin, you okay, man?”

“It’s a bug.” Soobin’s eyes dart around again, but he can’t find it. “There’s a bug in the RV.”

“Get it out, man!” Beomgyu’s very drunk voice warbles from the bed.

“There’s a bug in the RV.” Soobin sits down and he starts crying. “There’s a bug, and Taehyun hates me, and he has a girlfriend, and everything sucks.”

“Everything does not suck,” he hears Yeonjun say -- when did Yeonjun show up? “You just can’t hold your liquor because you’ve never drank anything except  _ sindoju  _ at Chuseok. Kai, where’s this bug?”

“I don’t know.”

“It flew.” Soobin tries to point and just ends up getting more dizzy. “It flew up in the air, and I don’t know where it went.”

Yeonjun huffs. “Kai, grab a cup or something.”

“Everything sucks,” Soobin whines.

Kai’s eyes dart around the cabin until he sees the fly, literally on the wall watching it all go down. With a Traditional Kai Squeal, he attacks the wall with his sweater sleeve. The fly easily dodges. 

Soobin tries to pay attention, but Kai’s voice starts to blur, and he sets his head down on the table.  _ He shouldn’t be here.  _ He should be in Taehyun’s RV, playing cards, laughing,  _ kissing him.  _ He came here to try and find a way to get him back, to make him remember that last year wasn’t just a fluke.  _ But Taehyun had cheated on his girlfriend by kissing him.  _ And Taehyun has clearly made his decision. 

Even so, Soobin can’t clear the image from his mind, that image of Taehyun, wet and exhausted from the rain, Soobin’s thumb on his mouth, just before they kissed for the first time.

He desperately tries to grab for it,  _ for Taehyun _ , and the image disappears from his mind.

The rest of the night is erased in bits and pieces. Soobin vaguely remembers someone -- Beomgyu? Kai? -- carrying him up to his bed. Probably both of them, finding a way to shove him up there. He falls asleep, kind of. There are whispers of “we should keep an extra eye on him for a bit” and “gotta make sure he doesn’t get in trouble, he usually doesn’t drink this much.” And then he swears he hears Yeonjun’s voice again, but that's odd, because Yeonjun has his own trailer. 

There’s a long gap in Soobin’s memories, during which he’s probably asleep...maybe. And then, there’s something bright in front of his eyes, all too sudden. He moves his hands in front of his eyes, and he comes to two conclusions pretty quickly: he has a migraine, and he  _ has  _ to throw up.

“Guys,” he yells, and he somehow has the energy to roll right off the lofted bed and onto the seats below, landing hard on his legs. “Ow.”

He crawls across the floor for a minute. It is pitch black dark in the RV; it's still the middle of the night. The light must have come from one of the automatic lights that turn on every time someone opens the door. Sure enough, there’s Yeonjun, standing on the RV floor and from the looks of it, Yeonjun is  _ sober.  _

“Good morning, Soobin,” he whispers. 

“Yeonjun-hyung, I --” And Soobin vomits all over Yeonjun’s shoes. 

The entire world tilts around him as Soobin hears Yeonjun yell in surprise. Soobin sets his head down, lays on the RV floor, and all he can think is,  _ I just threw up on Yeonjun’s shoes. Yeonjun-hyung is going to kill me.  _ But then he hears more voices, and then he feels someone pick him up, and he realizes it’s Beomgyu. 

“You're coming with me, big guy,” Beomgyu says. “Back to the back you go. I knew you had too much to drink. Ugh. We all did.”

“You sure you’re gonna be okay?” Soobin vaguely hears Yeonjun ask. “You’re hung over too, aren't you?”

“Yeah, but I'm used to it. It’s not bad. I got a headache working, but I ate an entire footlong sub before I went to bed. So I’m way more solid than Soobin here is. I got him. You get Kai.”

“Get...Kai?” Soobin tries to put two and two together and gets fish.

“Soobin, come sit with me in the back. We’re all sick, man. Yeonjun’s gonna take Kai to his RV, get him sobered up and stuff. We don’t have much time left before the sun rises, and we gotta be okay for our set. But first thing I gotta do is I gotta take care of you, okay? I still got some of that sub left, but…are you gonna throw up again?’

“Probably.”

Soobin feels himself being repositioned in front of a small trash can. “There. Throw up in this. You can't throw up in the toilet, they’ll charge us an extra fine for that.”

“I threw up on Yeonjun’s shoes,” Soobin moans, and then he upchucks into the trash can. 

“I know.” Beomgyu pats Soobin on the back. He hates the stink of this, but he's done this with one too many friends before. At least Yeonjun is being a trooper and taking the  _ other  _ hung-over vomiting temporary roommate with him. Beomgyu can handle Soobin. 

“I wanna go home.” Soobin starts crying again, in between dry heaving into the small bucket in front of him. “I wanna go home. I don’t wanna do this anymore.”

“I know, I know,” Beomgyu says. “We can’t go home yet, but let’s make the most of this, okay? Let me handle Waeng tomorrow.  _ IF _ Taehyun shows up, and if he breaks up with Mayumi, I’ll bring him back here to the trailer, and you can see him. You can stay here and watch tv, and you can have nothing to do with NeoNara, and you don’t ever have to see Mayumi or Taehyun again, okay?”

“Okay.” Soobin vomits again. This might just be the worst day of his life. Not only is he probably  _ never  _ going to actually get Taehyun back, but he’s sick on top of this. He is  _ never, ever  _ coming back to NeoNara, no matter how many times Waeng plays.

Never.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> come scream at me on twitter: @aster_rhythm


	6. 2014: Saturday, Day Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A reminder that there is a LOT of throwing up in this chapter, and as one can assume, this is where the shit finally hits the fan. If you are EXTREMELY sensitive to assault, I would proceed with caution, but most people should be fine.

“But where are you taking me?” a very loud,  _ very  _ hungover Kai Huening asks Yeonjun as they exit the Waeng trailer.

“Back to my trailer,” Yeonjun explains, taking Kai by the hand. “You and Soobin are both drunk, and Beomgyu can’t take care of both of you. So it was either take care of my roommate or you, and no offense, Soobin just threw up on my shoes, so he's in the doghouse with me right now. I’d rather take you.”

Kai would blush if his face wasn’t already so red. “Me?”

“Yeah, I doubt you're gonna throw up on me. My guess is that you had less to drink than Soobin.”

“Three beers? And some drink that Beomgyu --  _ hic --  _ cleared for me.”

Yeonjun prevents himself from saying, out loud, how adorable Kai is right now. 

“Yeonjunnie, I’m gonna throw up --” And Kai stops  _ right  _ where he is, right in the middle of the grass, lets go of Yeonjun, and pukes. Yeonjun moves Kai out of the way  _ right  _ in the nick of time, before his shoes are covered with another level of slime. It’s not nearly as bad as what Soobin just did, but someone is still probably going to step in it. 

“Ugh, Kai,” Yeonjun groans, and then he pulls Kai aside. “Kai, sweetheart, are you gonna be okay?”

“Yeah,” Kai says, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand  _ (gross gross gross!!!).  _ “I just...don’t think I should be drinking. I thought I could, but no.”

“You just turned nineteen and you can’t hold your own liquor? What do they even teach you in university?”

“...foreign policy? Statistics?”

Yeonjun ruffles Kai’s hair. “Do you think you can make it to my trailer?”

“I think so. I have to.” Kai grabs Yeonjun’s hand. “Lead the way.”

And Yeonjun doesn’t make it more than what it is, but he leads Kai all the way through the RV maze to the front of the line. This is where the VIP section is, as well as the press, which he is registered under. Since Yeonjun is staying alone, his RV is more the size of Taehyun’s, a small little outfit with no queen size bed in the back. Instead, there are two small bunk beds shoved in the back by the bathroom, a small range with a microwave, and a couch with a u-shaped dining booth. Kai can see that there’s a drop-down bunk in the front, but this setup is clearly only made for one. 

“If they would have had a camper available, I would have totally bought one,” Yeonjun says, “but this is the smallest they had.” He pulls Kai up into the RV, then shuts the door and leads him over to the couch. “Sit.”

Kai sits, not saying a word until Yeonjun deposits a small trash can with a clean liner in front of him. “Okay, so you slept, right?”

Kai tries to ignore the pounding in his head. “...yeah?”   


“So you probably slept off a lot of that being drunk feeling. Now, we just gotta push the rest of it outta ya. You got a set to play later on, man.” Yeonjun reaches into the refrigerator and pulls out two bottles of liquid. “Water and orange juice. What you’re gonna do, Kai, is you’re gonna drink from one and then the other. One will rehydrate you. The other will clear out your headache. One, then the other, and if you ever feel like puking, you do that into the trash can right in front of you. You are not allowed to move unless you got stuff coming out your other end, okay? No puking in the RV toilet, they’ll fine me for that.”

“Okay.” Now that he’s finally sitting down, Kai can start thinking straight again. The lights in the RV are dimmed, which is excellent, because it means his headache might go away sooner. 

“And I am gonna sit right here and make sure you drink this,” Yeonjun says, picking up the water and pushing it toward Kai. “Here. Drink.”

“Ugh.” Kai doesn’t want to, especially since he just threw up. But he uncaps the water and tosses some of it back.

“Slower than that, dude, or else you’ll hurl again.”

“I’m trying.” 

“Didn’t anybody ever help you sober up yet? Doesn’t Beomgyu?”

Kai drinks the water, slower this time, then sets it down on the floor. Yeonjun re-caps it for him. “No? He’s always taking care of himself. Or his girlfriend, if she’s here.”

“Other drink,” Yeonjun says, passing Kai the orange juice bottle. Kai uncaps this one, then drinks slowly from it. The tart taste of the orange juice is a refreshing pick me up, sending a jolt through his spine. 

“This is good,” he says.

“Let that settle,” Yeonjun says, taking the bottle from Kai and taking both of Kai’s hands in his, the trash can in between them. “No reason to speed up this process. Getting over a hangover is patience, my dear grasshopper.”

Kai looks up into Yeonjun’s eyes, then giggles. “I’m a grasshopper.”

“It means you’re still learning.”

“I am still learning. I’m just a college student. And you’re big man on campus.” Kai moves his head so that his bangs are out of the way. Yeonjun  _ really  _ wishes he knew if Kai was gay or not. It’s been a year, and every time he thinks he knows for sure, Kai says something about an attractive girl on TV or something like that. Every text message he thinks Kai is flirting with is cancelled out by him saying some girl is cute, and it’s making it very frustrating for Yeonjun to know if -- 

_ wait. _

Yeonjun’s a fucking idiot.

_ What if Kai is bi? _

_ Holy shit this changes everything what if Kai really does like Yeonjun and he’s been a dick because he saw things as too black and white? _

“Yeonjun?”

“Oh,” he says, and he hands the water bottle back to Kai. “Don’t go too fast.” 

Kai lets go of one of Yeonjun’s hands, but keeps holding onto the other while he drinks the water. Yeonjun takes a chance; he’s alone with Kai, he might as well. He holds Kai’s left hand loosely with his right, then moves his thumb over Kai’s fingers, rubbing his thumb against the knuckles, pausing over each finger, taking it in. Kai’s always too frantic to let Yeonjun do something like this; notably, while they’ve been friends over text for a year, they’ve only met during their Christmas date-that-wasn’t-a-date. And they had held hands, then, too. So Yeonjun forgives himself for wanting to touch Kai, just a little. 

It’s not like he’s kissing him.

He pauses when Kai’s own thumb comes up to meet his, trapping his own thumb between his fingers. And then it’s Kai who rubs his thumb against Yeonjun’s, as he finishes drinking the water and puts it down. Yeonjun takes it with his left hand, not letting go of Kai. 

“This is nice,” Kai whispers.

“Orange juice next,” Yeonjun says back, handing it to Kai. 

Kai lets go, just long enough to uncap the orange juice. He sets the lid in his lap, then tilts his head back to drink. Yeonjun almost reaches for Kai’s hand again until he suddenly jerks forward, orange juice spilling everywhere, and Kai pushes Yeonjun out of the way  _ just  _ in time before he dry heaves into the bucket. There’s a minute amount of orange juice and a little bit of water, but nothing else, and Kai’s body overreacts, shaking until it’s done. 

Yeonjun takes the orange juice, puts it aside, and takes Kai by the shoulders. “Kai.”

“It hurts,” he says, through gritted teeth. “God, I’m never drinking again.”

“I doubt that,” Yeonjun says, “but next time, drink with me. Not with Beomgyu.”

“Okay.” Kai heaves one more time, then sits up, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand  _ again!  _ “Can I nap?”

“You can close your eyes if you want,” Yeonjun says, “but it’s still not gonna help your hangover until you swallow more.” He turns and grits his teeth as he realizes  _ what he just said, god damnit Yeonjun! _

Kai reaches for the orange juice, then puts it back. “I’m gonna sit here for a half hour,” he says, and then he leans back and closes his eyes. Within seconds, he’s back asleep.

Yeonjun changes the trash can liner, making sure Kai has a fresh one at his feet. Then, he sits across from Kai in the u-booth, leaning his head on his hand. Kai Kamal Huening. Beautiful, mysterious Kai Kamal Huening. Kai, who sent him a birthday e-card to Seamless so Yeonjun could order his favorite takeout. Kai, who had bought him a scarf for Christmas. Kai, who sent him random selfies all the time. 

He wonders if he remembers the  _ last  _ one he sent. 

He pulls out his phone again and looks at it. It was sent at 4:46 AM, the very same text that had gotten Yeonjun to wake up and go over to Waeng’s trailer. Kai had sent Yeonjun a selfie with a very misspelled text message.

_ “do i lok prett” _

_ Yes, Kai,  _ Yeonjun thinks to himself.  _ You look so pretty. God, what would it be like if I could just...figure out if you like me or not? I think you do, but… _

He sighs, then goes to the refrigerator and grabs a can of Sprite, opening it and drinking some of it. Yeonjun’s never been the type to settle down for one person. In fact, he’s never brought a boy home to his parents, because he automatically knows they will disapprove. He can never find a boy that’s good enough for them. He tried, once, with a fling he knew for two weeks, a boy who came to the city over the summer and stayed in a room in Hamilton Heights. Yeonjun spent those two weeks basically living with him, fooling around and staying the hell away from his parents.

It was great fun. And then his parents insisted on meeting this boy he was fooling around with. That was the end of that. 

But Yeonjun wants to try again with Kai. He wants to know,  _ would Kai run away if he kissed him? Are all these signals incorrect?  _ It never mattered before. Yeonjun would blow through one-night stands, kissing random boys at parties, and yes, even getting a blow job at last year’s NeoNara from a total stranger. There was one semester that he did something with  _ every boy  _ in one of his classes. And he could afford to discard each man he held in his arms, because he would never be allowed to keep them. 

He had never wanted to keep them.

But God, does he want to keep Kai Kamal Huening. 

He  _ wants  _ to show up at his parents’ house in Jersey. He  _ wants  _ to tell them, “This is Kai, my boyfriend, and you are going to shut up and deal with it, because I love him.”

He hasn’t had a  _ single  _ fling since he met Kai last year. Not even a single kiss. Because nothing compares to the way Kai makes him feel. He just... _ knows  _ that he is the one. 

Well.

He would know better  _ if his fucking gaydar worked on bisexual kids, apparently. _

Kai opens his eyes after a couple of minutes, then reaches down to grab the water. It seems those extra few minutes of sleep were what he needed, because he holds the water down this time. Yeonjun sits in front of him again, trash can between them, as Kai slowly switches from one drink to the other. The glassiness is gone from his eyes. Kai looks like Kai again. 

“Thank you,” he says, and this time his hands end up on Yeonjun’s shoulders. “I -- you’re an angel. I’m so glad I’m doing this here and not with the others.” He pauses. “How did you -- you just showed up at the RV. How?”

“You texted me. You sent me a selfie, and you spelled like every word wrong, and I knew you were drunk, so I thought I would come check up on you.”

Kai feels his face flush, not from the alcohol recovery but from Yeonjun’s kind words. He swallows his crush  _ again.  _ “What did I text you?”

And Yeonjun shows Kai the text. It’s a pretty, disheveled thing, with the four lopsided words under it. 

“Oh, my God.” There’s a hint of a Traditional Kai Squeal in those words. “Did I really send that?”

“Yeah.”

“God, I was drunk. I regret everything.”

Yeonjun might as well try. “I don’t.”

“Ehh? Why not?”

Yeonjun shows off his phone again. “This might just be the most beautiful selfie you’ve ever sent me.”

Kai hides his face in his hands. “Ughhhhh. Bet it’s not as good as the guy who sucked you off last year.”

Yeonjun starts laughing  _ until he realizes what Kai said.  _ “What -- Kai, you remember that?”

“Of course I do.” Kai takes another swig of orange juice. “Nobody can compare to you and your ability to have anybody fall into your lap like that.”

Yeonjun feels the world tilt in slow motion. “What are you getting at, Kai?”

Kai drops the orange juice bottle, capped, onto the floor; it rolls away from him. “Sorry. I don’t know, I sent you a selfie that asked if I was pretty. Isn’t that, you know, super awkward?”

“And has nothing to do with me -- ahem -- doing -- ahem -- stuff last year --”

“It’s just --” Kai hides his face in his hands again. “Aargh. I wasn’t supposed to send that. Not like that. There’s no reason for you to think that I’m pretty. You probably think everybody’s pretty. What does it matter if you say I’m pretty? You probably told the guy on the Ferris Wheel that he was the most handsome man you’d ever seen, so  _ why the hell does it matter if I sent you a selfie?” _

And Yeonjun realizes the answer. It’s right on the tip of his tongue, like he could just say it,  _ because I don’t want anybody in my lap but you, Kai, I love you.  _ And here Kai is, comparing himself to a stupid, stupid mistake -- he’s probably been comparing himself to that  _ for the entire year.  _ Yeonjun’s loose enough to get laid by a total stranger;  _ why would he even pay attention to Kai?  _ And he suddenly sees everything he’s been missing: the half-assed flirting attempts, the “just kidding!” texts that he sends after going overboard, the constant texts about how cute the girls were on TV. 

It was all to throw Yeonjun off the truth. 

Kai has been  _ holding back,  _ because he’s never assumed Yeonjun would  _ ever  _ see him that way.

He needs Kai to shut up  _ right now.  _

“Kai. Are you going to throw up again.” It’s a statement, not a question.

Kai looks at Yeonjun. “I don’t think so, I think my stomach is pretty settled right now --”

Yeonjun lunges forward. He’s done this move enough that he’s a master at it. He never misses. His right hand flies to Kai’s cheek, holding him still. His left arm goes to the couch to stabilize the rest of his body, and his nose slots alongside Kai’s own. And he pulls Kai to him, presses his lips in, locking them onto Kai’s. And the  _ moment  _ he kisses Kai, he feels an intense wave of emotion crash over him, one that he’s never felt before. It’s always simply headed south before, but  _ this --  _ his entire body is on fire. 

An entire year’s worth of emotions, bottled up, finally overflowing into one kiss. 

Kai yelps into the kiss, a move that is incredibly Kai. But Yeonjun isn’t expecting him to  _ moan,  _ and he realizes it’s Kai doing the same thing: letting out an entire year’s worth of emotions that he’s been unable to express. Then, Kai’s hands find their way to Yeonjun’s turquoise hair, and he  _ kisses  _ Yeonjun back. There’s nothing shy about Kai’s kiss -- Yeonjun knows he’s serial dated girls, this man knows how to kiss -- but knowing that Kai feels the same way is enough to make Yeonjun feel  _ even more.  _

Then, Kai pulls back.

“Wait. Do I taste like orange juice?”

Yeonjun pauses, trying to let his brain catch up with the rest of his body. “...what?”

“God, if I tasted like puke, that would be  _ the worst.” _

Yeonjun busts out laughing, still holding his position, hovering over Kai. “You --  _ that’s  _ what you’re worried about?”

“If you -- if you’re gonna kiss me, I might as well taste good for you.”

“Kai Huening.” This time, Yeonjun practically climbs into Kai’s lap, straddling his waist, just barely enough room on the RV couch for the both of them. “I would kiss you even if you did taste of puke.”

“Ugh. Gross.”

“Not gross.” He kisses Kai again, quicker this time. “If it’s you...god, Kai, if it’s you…”

Kai looks into Yeonjun’s eyes. There’s something about the way Yeonjun’s voice has changed that has him confused. “Yeonjun?”

“I’m not just kissing you to kiss you, fuck, I -- Kai --” He exhales, forcing the words out. “I love you, God, I love you, Kai, I’ve always loved you --” 

Kai leans forward again, and this time, their lips connect in a more sincere way. Yeonjun feels Kai whimper into the kiss, his fingers on Yeonjun’s cheeks, his mouth hot against Yeonjun’s. Yeonjun tastes salt, and it takes him a moment to realize  _ Kai is crying.  _ He pulls back, wiping the tears from his eyes. “Kai, baby, are you okay?”

“I just…” Kai sniffs, wiping at his face with his disgusting hand for the third time. “I never -- I -- am I dreaming -- ugh, I’m gonna have another headache, aren’t I?” He buries his face into Yeonjun’s shoulder. “I -- I just --”

“Shh,” Yeonjun whispers as he pulls Kai into a lopsided hug, still in his lap. “It’s okay.”

“I just thought -- you would never -- why would you look at me that way? When you have so many other pretty things to look at?”

“Do you think I’ve looked at anybody since last year?”

“I figured -- I don’t know, I thought you just weren’t gonna tell me.”

“Not a soul, Kai. Ask Soobin. He’s my roommate, if you need proof, he knows where I’ve been the past year. And most nights, it’s up all night, texting you, calling you, hearing your voice. It’s you, Kai. It’s always been you.” And Kai  _ sobs  _ into Yeonjun’s shoulder, and Yeonjun holds him through it all. “Not a soul, Kai, I promise. God, nobody’s ever compared to you before.”

“But --” Kai sniffles. “You didn’t -- I don’t --” He giggles. It’s adorable. “I’m sorry. I just -- I usually date girls. I never expected to fall for a guy.”

“Yeah, I didn’t expect you to, either. It literally took until today to make me realize that you’re not gay, you probably just like me.”

“Is there a word for that?”

“I don’t know, bi? Are you bi? Do you even know what that is?”

And Yeonjun watches as the lights turn on upstairs for Kai. His eyes go wide, his mouth slightly agape, and his expression turns from confusion to wonder. “Omigod,” and then there is a Traditional Kai Squeal version, “OMIGOD! I’m bi! It makes  _ so  _ much more sense now!” He kisses Yeonjun in celebration, half giggling the entire time. 

“No, I’ve never dated a guy before, is this okay?”

“It’s more than okay,” Yeonjun says. “I’ve kind of got a lot of experience. You have experience, too, and that will carry you well. You know what you want and what you don’t want in a partner, emotionally and socially and mentally.”

“Yeah, like, not a Mayumi.”

“God.” Yeonjun had forgotten all about the Taehyun-Soobin-Mayumi catastrophe. “Those idiots need to drop kick the fucking side package off the Empire State Building. Aren’t you glad we have better communication than they do?”

“So glad.” Kai wraps his arms around Yeonjun’s waist. “It’s how I know that you’re being sincere with the whole  _ I haven’t seen anybody else  _ thing. Because you’re a crafty one, Junnie, but you -- when you talk about someone you really care about, you really,  _ really  _ mean it. You toss all your flings aside, you don’t talk about them to me, like they mean nothing. But when Soobin talks about you being this awesome roommate, and when you talk about Soobin, I can see how much you care about him, too. It’s obviously not the same, it’s not like you’re in love with --” He blushes.

“I’m not in love with Soobin, true, but he’s my best friend,” Yeonjun says.

“But it’s this kind, straightforward, gentle Yeonjun...that I fell in love with. One step at a time. One text message, one phone call, and it just -- it bottled all up, and I didn’t ever think you would feel the same way. I just thought I was gonna have to eat my words until you found some new boyfriend!”

Yeonjun kisses Kai’s forehead. “The only boyfriend I want is  _ you,  _ Kai. I love you. Will you go out with me?”

And Kai hugs Yeonjun back, tight, nodding against his shoulder. “I love you, I love you, I love you, God -- it feels so good to say!”

“I know. Promise me you’ll never keep secrets like this from me again?”

“Promise.” 

* * *

Taehyun wakes up at the same time Mayumi does, to her god awful  _ Dragostea Din Tei _ alarm on her phone. He rolls over, trying not to groan.  _ God, please. Let this be the last time I ever hear that fucking song.  _

Last night is an ugly blur to him, one that he remembers every detail of. He remembers being dragged to the fair rides by Mayumi, immediately after  _ whatever that was,  _ and then going for fair food that he felt like throwing up all over the place. After that, they went to the Photon Maiden concert. It was an ultraviolet rave, thrown by four girls who looked like they could have been straight out of Hatsune Miku’s book. The entire thing was super space-agey, and Mayumi had had the  _ best  _ time. And Taehyun had needed to fake it, because it just reminded him of Polaris Rider, and Soobin, last year.

At least Mayumi hadn’t said anything about his shirt yet. Taehyun knew she knew -- that he had lied, that he had gone to the Polaris Rider set without her last year. The rainbow paint stained T-shirt proved it. And he had changed out of it before she could find it, hiding it in the RV’s drawers where she wouldn’t know to look, right under his DJ decks. Hopefully he could get rid of her before she asked about it. 

He groans, then pokes Mayumi. “Your alarm.”

Mayumi reaches over, grabs her phone, and turns off the alarm. Then, she rolls the  _ other  _ way and grabs Taehyun, pulling her into his arms. “Hi, baby,” she coos, snuggling into his neck, pink hair all around him.

Taehyun turns and kisses her, briefly.  _ And please let this be the last time I ever have to wake up to this.  _ “Good morning.”

“Are you ready for today?” Mayumi pounces on Taehyun, straddling his waist and holding him down by the shoulders. Her pajama pants are white and fluffy, way too hot for this weather, and her purple tank top is showing off  _ way  _ too much of her cleavage. 

“I would be more ready if you would let me up,” Taehyun says with a smile. He just has to put up with this until three PM, when the Waeng set starts. He just...hasn’t told Mayumi they need to go to the set yet. He’s not sure how to pop that question to her. “Should we grab breakfast? I know how you like your eggs.”

“Terry, I don’t think they’re gonna have hot sauce at the food bar.”

“They don’t need to. I brought some with me, there’s an unopened bottle in my bag.”

“Oh, I love you!” Mayumi hops off the bag, searches through Taehyun’s things (a typical occurrence), then pulls out the hot sauce bottle. “Okay, new plan. We’re gonna go to breakfast, and then we’re gonna go to the fair rides. Then we  _ have  _ to stop by the Coconatsu set at noon, it’s, like,  _ required  _ that we go. After that I think we should grab some more food and come back here and sit. I’m gonna totally need a nap. And then I think Sophie is gonna meet up with us for a little bit at four, since she’s a Reality.” A “Reality” is a TRUTH super-fan, one of the boy bands performing. “We’re all gonna go see TRUTH, then eat dinner, then all go to Hatsune Miku together at eight! And then we’ll come back here and we’ll hang out for a bit until Sophie’s parents come and pick her up.”

Taehyun runs the math through his head. “Actually --”

“It’s perfect, isn’t it?” Mayumi strips down,  _ right in the middle of the RV, right in front of Taehyun.  _ She changes out her garments and throws on a black T-shirt with Hatsune Miku on it that she got in New York City, a pair of jean shorts, and pink flip flops for now. “Every plan I make up is perfect perfection. Come on, Terry. To the eggs!”

“You have to let me get dressed first!” Taehyun says as he shuts the curtain, but Mayumi whips it back open.

“Nuh-uh, I’m choosing what you are wearing today. We gotta match, remember?” And Taehyun is shoved out of the bedroom, then is thrown clothes through the curtain by Mayumi. Jean shorts for men went out of fashion in the 90’s, so Mayumi throws him a pair of khaki shorts, as well as a black T-shirt and his own thong sandals. “Change, quick! I’m hungry!”

Taehyun does so, trying his best to make sure Mayumi isn’t watching, knowing she is anyway. When he’s done, he opens the curtain to find her standing there, and she pulls him in for a kiss. This one is long, and she runs her fingers through his brown hair, shoving her tongue inside his mouth, and he does his best to kiss back. 

He thinks, for two seconds, of Soobin, of  _ nothing has changed.  _ It’s enough for him to let out a small moan, one that Mayumi thinks is for her. 

“Oh, you like that? Maybe we don’t need food after all. I’m thinking you’re hungry for something else --”

“Eggs,” Taehyun says, ditching Mayumi in the bedroom. “And bacon. And, honestly, I could use an orange juice.”

Mayumi giggles. “If you say so, Terry.” And he grabs the keys, and they walk hand in hand to the food tent. NeoNara is sleepy and barely awake at this point in the morning. The campgrounds are probably abuzz with people waking up, but here people can stay in their RVs until it’s time for them to be presentable. Mayumi leads Taehyun through the food stands, past the information booth and to the food tent. They flash their badges and get inside.

And the  _ first  _ thing Taehyun notices when he enters the tent is Daniel Choi,  _ who for some odd reason is awake at nine in the morning on a Saturday,  _ sitting across from somebody. Daniel’s eyes catch Taehyun’s, and the boy across from him turns, and Taehyun sees it’s Kai Huening from Waeng.  _ What are they doing here? _

But he keeps up the facade, and he walks with Mayumi to get eggs and bacon, and they sit down and she covers the entire plate with hot sauce. Then, she digs in, talking Taehyun’s ear off about something anime related or Hatsune Miku related or probably honestly both. Taehyun, meanwhile, is trying to form a plan.  _ Mayumi has us going back to the RV and taking a nap during Waeng’s set. She clearly does not want to go, and I think she’s making that clear to me. If Kai could just get over here… _

“I’m gonna get some more,” he says, and he gets up to get a new orange juice and some sausage. When he’s out of Mayumi’s field of vision, he GLARES over at Daniel and Kai. Daniel looks back and  _ instantly  _ gets the message. Taehyun grabs the rest of his food and sits down, and it’s not thirty seconds later that both Daniel and Kai show up at their table. 

“Look who’s here early! King Solomon!”   


“I thought I told you to get out of my life,” Mayumi growls at Kai, paying no attention to Daniel.

“Oh. My. God.” Daniel Choi, Gay Man of Awesome, has raised his voice to a stereotypical pitch, hoping he’ll be less threatening to Mayumi if he’s  _ flamboyantly queer.  _ Then, “I loooooooooove your shirt! Are you going to the set tonight?”

Something in Mayumi’s brain changes  _ immediately.  _ “Omigod, yes! Are you?”

“Duh! I  _ love  _ Hatsune Miku, what’s your favorite song by her?”

“It  _ has  _ to be Rolling Girl. HAS to be. Do you think she’s going to sing it tonight?”

“She has to, it’s, like,  _ one  _ of her most popular songs. We should meet up together! Do you have glowsticks!”

“Omigod I do!” Mayumi bounces up and down in her seat, sending her food flying. “This is so cool! I -- like,  _ nobody  _ where I’m from knows about Hatsune Miku, not even my stupid boyfriend. I finally get to meet another fan!”

“Uh, your stupid boyfriend is sitting across from you,” Taehyun mutters. Thank God he’s talking in front of Daniel Choi and Kai the drummer from Waeng. They know he’s  _ faking  _ it with a capital F. 

“I’m more than a fan. I’m the one who interviewed your boyfriend last year.” And turquoise haired, Super Gay interviewer Daniel Choi sticks his hand out. “My name’s Daniel Choi. I run a music blog.”

“Ohh. So that’s where you’re from. I’m Mayumi, I’m Terry’s manager and girlfriend. Soon to be fiancee, probably. How would you combine those words? Fianger? Manacee? Nah, sounds too much like manatee, that’s weird.”

Taehyun has to hide his grimace.  _ Fiancee?  _ What the hell is Mayumi smoking? 

“Well,” Daniel says with a  _ very  _ nervous laugh, “congratulations, I guess? Maybe you guys can announce that at the Waeng set later. You’re gonna be there, right?”

“I haven’t asked her yet,” Taehyun says,  _ very  _ loudly, staring at Mayumi.

Mayumi keeps smiling. 

“And yes,” Taehyun says, turning back to Kai and Daniel, “I will be at the Waeng set at three. Mayumi, you’re coming with me, right?”

“Hmm?” Mayumi’s position has not changed; she is still smiling like an idiot. 

“Yeah, remember? Shelly wants you to come.” Kai turns to Mayumi. “I’m surprised she didn’t tell you yesterday, when you two were girl talking.”

Mayumi turns to Kai. She’s still smiling, talking through her fake smile. “What’s this about going to the Waeng set today?”

“I don’t know, maybe you left too quickly for Shelly to tell you yesterday or something. We wanted King Solomon to be at the Waeng set today, to promote the remix. I think --”

“I think we’ve done enough promoting of the remix,” Mayumi says, her voice cutting through the tent like ice. “I will see if we have time, but we probably won’t, we are very, very busy people.”

“Come on, Mayumi,” Taehyun says, putting an arm around her. “We’re here to promote the brand, right? We could be missing out on something potentially big here. What if another act sees us there and wants us to make a remix? What if I meet an A&R guy there?”

Mayumi looks about ready to cry, but then, something in her face changes. There’s a plan being concocted somewhere in there, one that Taehyun hopes she never actually has to bring to fruition. “You know what? That sounds like an excellent idea. Let’s do it.”

“Really?” Taehyun asks. “But you had a plan --”

“Nonsense. We can fit this in, we can have Sophie meet us at the -- where is this concert taking place?”

“At the All Access Stage, at three,” Kai answers. 

“Perfect. We’ll see you then. Can you leave us be, now, please? We have to finish our food, and I want some time alone with my sweet little Terry before he gets to be big and famous.”

“It’s okay,” Daniel says, putting his own arm around Kai. “We were just finishing our date.” And they walk away without another word.

Both Mayumi and Taehyun’s mouths drop. “Ewwwww!” Mayumi squeals,  _ loud enough for Daniel and Kai to hear,  _ and goes back to eating her eggs. “Gross. Men fucking men are gross.”

“Uh...they never said anything about that --”

“I knew there was something up about this band. We’re going to this concert, Terry, and then we’re never hanging out with them again. It’s just a bunch of queers and trannies, I hate the whole business. Demons, devils, I tell you.” 

“And they have done absolutely nothing to hurt us, to get in the way of our relationship,” Taehyun bold-faced lies to Mayumi. “Do you think my love has wavered for you?”

Mayumi looks into Taehyun’s brown eyes. Then, “I just don’t like these guys,” she mutters. “They’re all pushy and all over you. If I didn’t know you loved me and only me, I would say you had an orgy with them last year or something.”

“Wha --” Taehyun _ literally cannot believe the words that are coming out of Mayumi’s mouth.  _ “We are in public!”

“So? At least we’ll be done with them, soon. Can you do a remix for a nice, straight act next time, like, uh, Justin Bieber or something?”

Taehyun has to set the record straight on something. He’s been stuck dating Mayumi for way too long, but they are  _ definitely  _ not engaged. “Yeah, and what’s this about you saying --” 

“Seriously, sweetheart.” Mayumi bats her eyes at Taehyun, then holds his hand. “You’re way too good for them. Promise.” And there’s something sweet about the way she says it that makes Taehyun feel comfortable, like everything is going to be okay. And Taehyun holds her hand, even for a moment, and eats the rest of his breakfast food. Maybe this won’t be so bad. Mayumi, after all, has been there for him when nobody else has. She has chased away his literal demons and saved his life more than once. Perhaps he has all of this wrong.

But then he thinks back to Choi Soobin.  _ Nothing has changed.  _ Taehyun can’t deny that he’s gay. He has to break up with Mayumi, today, even just off that one principle. 

They finish their food as the fair rides open, and Mayumi drags Taehyun on one of those spinny teacup rides. Taehyun thinks he’ll be fine until she spins the cup in circles so hard that he starts to get vertigo. He puts his head down, listening to Mayumi say, “are you okay? This isn’t so bad! This is fun! Have fun with me, Terry!” When they get off the ride, Taehyun makes it two steps to the nearest trash can before he loses his entire breakfast.  _ So much for that plan.  _

He lets her drag him on every fair ride she wants after that, feeling slightly better with an empty stomach but still not able to fully shake the vertigo. When they get on the Music Express, he swears his right ear rings the entire time. He dry heaves into another trash can after that. But if he doesn’t put up with this, if he doesn’t at least pretend like he’s having fun with Mayumi, then she’s not gonna let him go to the Waeng concert, and he’s never gonna have enough courage to break up with her on stage. 

She doesn’t know what’s coming.

Let her have her safety for now. 

They go straight from the fair rides to the Coconatsu set at noon, which Taehyun is grateful for, because he’s not sure he could keep down more food if he tried right now. Coconatsu is a duo of twin sisters, singing along to anime tracks. The entire sound is EDM, but the tracks are pre-recorded, and there’s no DJ, so Taehyun can’t even be interested in what is going on. But Mayumi likes it, and he dances with her, and he puts a smile on his face, counting down the minutes, the seconds, to when he can get her to this Waeng set. 

For once, he  _ really  _ hopes Soobin isn’t there. 

They head back to the food tent after the Coconatsu set, and Mayumi grabs some spaghetti and meatballs for the both of them. They take the food back to the RV, and they sit apart from each other and eat in relative silence. But when Mayumi is done with her food, she trips,  _ hard,  _ and lands in Taehyun’s lap with her empty plate still covered in sauce. It gets  _ everywhere,  _ all over Taehyun’s shorts and the bottom of his black shirt. 

He sighs. “I’ll go change,” he says, and he goes to the bedroom, pulling off his now-soiled shorts and shirt. He grabs a new shirt, a random blue one, and he has to dig but he finds the black shorts from last year. He slips them on, then runs back out. “Are we gonna head out?”

“For what?” Mayumi is on her phone now, playing some game, flicking her thumbs this way and that. 

“The Waeng show?”

Mayumi looks up from her phone. “Terry, we have an hour. I’m not in any hurry, sweetie. Are you?”

“Well...no. I just figured we could go early and -- you know what, never mind, you’re right, it’s silly.” And Terry sits across from Mayumi, reading the news on his phone until he needs the bathroom. 

He slips the phone into his pocket as he enters, does his business, then pulls the phone back out after he’s washed his hands. And something  _ else  _ comes out with the phone, clattering on the floor below Taehyun. Taehyun’s eyes travel to where it landed, in the corner, something that glitters, just a little bit.

A  _ massive  _ wave of anxiety washes over him.

Taehyun can’t breathe.

“Mayumi,” he says, grabbing the ring between his thumb and index finger, then exiting the bathroom. It shines against the RV’s fluorescent lights, three diamondesque stones set on a silver band. “What is this?”

Mayumi looks up from her phone. Taehyun watches the emotions flash over her face in an instant: sudden shock, then some sort of recalculation, and then  _ feigned  _ shock. Her hands drop her phone and fly to her mouth. “Oh, my God, Terry!” She stands up, suddenly, and she looks like she’s crying. And then, she’s nodding like an idiot, “oh my God, yes, baby, yes, I will marry you!” and she takes his hands, even though Taehyun isn’t even on one knee. She leans forward to kiss him, and the only thing going through Taehyun’s mind is what Mayumi had said to Daniel and Kai at the food tent. 

_ “I’m Terry’s manager and girlfriend. Soon to be fiancee, probably.” _

“I --” Taehyun wakes up, then steps away from Mayumi. “Mayumi, I didn’t -- I have  _ no clue  _ where this came from.”

“Neither do I!” Mayumi holds out her hand, like she’s expecting Taehyun to put the rock on her finger. 

He doesn’t. “It was literally just in my pocket. You --” And then, Taehyun Rhodes puts the pieces together. He’s not an idiot.  _ He was supposed to find the ring at the Waeng concert. In front of everybody. A public proposal that he wouldn’t have been able to turn down. Probably would have happened at the Hatsune Miku concert if Waeng hadn’t gotten in the way.  _

“How much did you pay for this?” he asks, voice loud, pulling the ring away from Mayumi. 

“Does it matter?” Mayumi’s still crying happy tears. “We all knew you weren’t going to be able to afford one, so I used your royalties. I got exactly what I wanted. You don’t even have to ask, Terry. I already know what you’re going to say. And I say yes. Now and forevermore.”

Taehyun doesn’t know how to answer. He found the ring early --  _ but here Mayumi is, always making it about her,  _ using her power and her wit to stay one step ahead of him. There’s no way to get a hold of one of the Waeng guys. He’s supposed to show up at 3 PM to break up with Mayumi on stage.

He will show up with Mayumi, and a ring on her hand. 

“Terry?”

He snaps out of it. Something about the way Mayumi says his name jolts Taehyun back to reality. 

“...that’s not my name.”

“Hmm?” Mayumi tilts her head. 

“Mayumi, what does it say my name is on my license?”

“Huh.” Mayumi pulls her hand back long enough to give off a thinking pose. “It’s your old name that you don’t like, that  _ Tay-hyoooooooon  _ or whatever, but your parents gave you a better name. I much prefer Terry.”

“Did you know that I don’t?” Taehyun takes Mayumi’s hand. “It’s Taehyun. You want to marry me, and you don’t even know that?” He drops the ring into Mayumi’s hand, then closes her fingers around it. “I’m not marrying you, Mayumi.”

Mayumi pouts, then shoves the ring in her own jean short pocket. “Okay. I...I’ll hang onto it until you’re ready. How did you pronounce that again?”

Taehyun exhales. “Honestly, I don’t think you deserve to know how it’s pronounced.”

“...what?”

“Because I’m not sure you really know me at all, Mayumi.” Taehyun wasn’t expecting to do this  _ now,  _ but he’s got an ace up his sleeve. He pulls out his phone, keeping it in his hand. “Do you? Or am I just some puppet to you that you can control, keep me here when you need me, discard me when you’re done, pin me down for a good time without ever thinking of me once? And you want to  _ marry  _ me? At that point, it’s less a marriage and more a binding contract to make me your slave for the rest of my life!”

“What are you saying?” Mayumi asks, her voice escalating in volume and pitch.

Taehyun can’t look up at her face; he’s too busy scrolling through his phone, finding the contact he needs. “I’m saying we’re done, Mayumi. I’m through with this. I’m calling your parents, and they can come pick you up, you can get your stuff, hell, I don’t even care if you stay for the Hatsune Miku show, but you better not show your face around me, because I’ll do something about it. I’m going to the Waeng set, I’m hanging out with my friends, and when I get back here afterward with them, I expect you and all of your things to be gone.” He finds Mayumi’s dad’s number and hits the  _ dial  _ button, putting it up to his ear. 

Then, he stares Mayumi down. “I hope that ring came with a good return policy.”

Mayumi moves quickly. She knocks the phone out of Taehyun’s hand, grabs it, and ends the call, stuffing the phone into her pocket. 

And then, she slaps him.

Something shifts in Taehyun’s skull. The ringing that had quieted itself earlier after the tilt-a-whirl comes back, full force. And Taehyun hits the ground,  _ hard.  _ He finds himself staring at the refrigerator door, unable to get up, as Mayumi descends onto him. 

He feels her push him onto his back, and then he  _ really  _ feels her knee into his groin,  _ hard,  _ and then she goes to town on his face, alternating smacking his left and right cheeks. He’s certain she’s yelling at him, but he can’t even tell what she’s yelling because  _ the ringing is so goddamn loud, buzzing now, and when did it become so bright in here?  _

He feels dizzy, leaning his head back, and as Mayumi slaps him one more time, one thought flits through his head.

_ I’m going to hurl. _

Taehyun pushes Mayumi off of him with a sudden burst of adrenaline, tries to get to his feet, and fails, hitting the ground again. He scrambles, kicking behind him to keep her away, connecting with something, then dives for the bathroom door. He pushes it open, gets inside, and shuts the door just in time before Mayumi can get to him, then locks it. Mayumi  _ immediately  _ pounds on the door, and Taehyun can now hear her  _ screaming  _ like a banshee. 

He’s  _ never  _ heard her like this. 

He covers his ears as the ringing continues, and then he crawls as fast as he can over to the shower and throws up his lunch. At least in the shower, it can stay in one spot without all immediately going down the drain and making his life worse. He stays like that, hunched over, trying to breathe, the buzzing in his ears all he can hear, everything spinning around him, and Mayumi, behind him, pounding on the bathroom door, knowing at some point she will break the door with her bare hands.

He can’t even think about what will happen then.

He grits his teeth, laying on the bathroom floor, away from the shower and its mess. Mayumi is still banging away behind him, and he can barely hear her screaming his name over the cloudy feeling in his ears. He finally sets his head on the cold bathroom floor, then lays down on his side. The spinning stills, just a little, but the buzzing does not stop. 

_ Did she hit me so hard that I have hearing damage now?  _ Taehyun wonders. He tries to get up -- he has to get out of here -- but the moment he moves, he feels nauseous again. And Mayumi has his phone. 

_ Soobin,  _ he thinks, forcing himself to think of the only good thing he can right now.  _ Soobin. You said nothing has changed. Where are you? God, Soobin, if you’re out there somewhere, please save me.  _ He makes himself comfortable on the floor, closes his eyes, and starts to cry.

_ Soobin, please.  _

_ Soobin. _

_ Soobin --  _

* * *

Yeonjun checks his watch. “You have to go on. We can’t wait any longer.”

“Aw, man,” Kai groans as he looks over the side of the stage for the eighth time. Even though it’s still blazing hot at NeoNara -- the staff at the tent were saying it was over ninety degrees Fahrenheit -- the All Access audience is full. Turned out having their song remixed and on a commercial was nothing but good news for the band. Beomgyu had been “stoked” about it, and he and Shelly had already met with at least two other concert promoters. It was looking more and more like Beomgyu was gonna make good on his promise to Kai: that he was gonna have to put his collegiate career on hold while they toured across America, playing at every venue and festival they could. 

And normally it would have excited Kai to no end. But all Kai cared about at this moment were two things: his brand new boyfriend, and getting Taehyun Rhodes to break up with his girlfriend. And  _ Taehyun wasn’t here to do the latter.  _

“Junnie.” Kai takes Yeonjun’s shoulders. “I know you want to watch, but --”

“It’s okay. I was actually about to ask you for permission to go find him --”

“You don’t need to ask my  _ permission!  _ I just --”

“I know.” Yeonjun looks into Kai’s eyes. “I had wanted this to be our first concert together. Me, watching you, my beautiful, wonderful, amazing boyfriend on stage for the first time. I mean, I’ve seen Waeng, I’m familiar with your work, but this is the first time I have a boyfriend in Waeng. But we both know Taehyun is more important. And you have to play, and Soobin is  _ no  _ help right now.”

“Go get his boyfriend.” Kai pats Yeonjun on the shoulders. “I’ll be fine. I’ll play, and I’ll see you in the crowd later, because you’re gonna bring him here.”

“And if I do, I’ll bring him around to the side so we can continue with the plan.”

There goes the Traditional Kai Squeal again. “Great! I love it!” Kai kisses Yeonjun’s face. “I love you. Now, go be awesome!” And with that, he rejoins Beomgyu and Shelly, and the three of them ascend to the All Access Stage. 

The crowd goes wild as Yeonjun watches Kai go. This still hurts, but he has a job to do. “I love you too, baby,” he whispers, and then, he is  _ off.  _

He sprints away from the All Access stage, towards the staffing tent. A boy no older than sixteen with a  _ security  _ shirt on is standing there idly. “Yo, hey, um -- what’s your name?” Yeonjun calls out, waving.

The boy looks up. “Dayton. How can I help you?”

“You know Chris and Timmy, right? I need to get a hold of them. Can I borrow your radio?”

Dayton nods, handing the microphone part of the side-pack radio to Yeonjun. “It should be on the right channel. Things have been pretty quiet. Is something the matter?”

“Oh, I talked with them about this earlier, they’re just doing me a favor.” Yeonjun pushes the button. “Chris, Timmy, come in, this is Daniel Choi.” He waits a second, then, “Hey, Chris, Timmy!”

“Give us a second,” Timmy’s voice comes over the radio. “We got a drug bust in the campgrounds. Feds are here and everything.”

“Oh, that sounds like fun.” Then, Yeonjun pauses. “When you get a chance, can you meet me at RV number 774? It’s what we talked about earlier.”

“I’ll go,” Chris’s voice comes over the intercom. Chris and Timmy are brothers and work security at nearly every event in the Capital region. “Daniel, meet you there in 5.”

“Gotcha.” Yeonjun hands the microphone back to Dayton. “Thanks, man.” And he bolts across the tent, through the vendors, and then down the long line of RVs. 774 is light years away from where Taehyun was last year, and Yeonjun figures Mayumi probably booked that RV spot on purpose. 

He is exhausted by the time he gets in front of Taehyun’s familiar RV. He hadn’t been here when the boys had talked about the plan -- chalk it up to yet another interview -- but he knows that if Taehyun isn’t at the Waeng set, then there is trouble in paradise. The best case scenario is that Mayumi has feigned ignorance, and Yeonjun can gently remind them that the Waeng set is taking place  _ right now _ , hopefully giving Taehyun the strength he needs to drag Mayumi to the set.

Yeonjun doesn’t want to think about a worst case scenario.

He knocks on the door. “Hello? Anybody in there?” There’s a long pause, Yeonjun wonders if they’re both in there at all. Well, that could have been another case scenario. Mayumi could have easily dragged Taehyun to some  _ other  _ thing in order to keep him from going to the Waeng set --

The door opens with a  _ bang.  _ Mayumi Tasogare Hoshizora the Third is standing in the doorway, wearing a black T-shirt and jean shorts. And she has a  _ very  _ sharp knife in her hand.

_ “Jesus on a pogo stick!”  _ is about all Yeonjun has time to yell before Mayumi jumps at him,  _ screaming,  _ wielding the knife in her hand. She thrusts her right hand forward, pushing herself towards him, grabbing at his shoulders, his hair, anything to disable him. And Yeonjun is a strong dancer, but he is  _ not  _ a fighter. His left hand goes to Mayumi’s right wrist, doing  _ all  _ he can to keep the blade away from any part of him. But her left arm grabs at his right, and she twists his wrist away from him, then raises his right hand to her mouth and bites,  _ hard. _

_ “Yeow!”  _ Yeonjun cries out in pain, knees buckling. He  _ hadn’t  _ been expecting that at all. He shakes his right hand, trying to shake off the pain, still holding onto Mayumi’s right wrist. 

Mayumi screams like a banshee again, then grabs at Yeonjun’s hair with her left hand. And Yeonjun is  _ certain  _ he is getting shanked until Mayumi suddenly lets go of him  _ and  _ the knife. She’s still screaming, but he looks up and  _ some other person  _ has her by both of her pink pigtails, so Yeonjun grabs the knife from its spot in the grass before Mayumi can.

He backs up just in time to watch the other person slap Mayumi, then yell, “This is a music festival,  _ not a knife throwing contest!” _

It’s a girl Yeonjun has never met before, with two long blonde braids and a white dress to match. She looks like she just stepped out of  _ The Sound of Music  _ or  _ Heidi.  _ Except her face looks  _ mad.  _ And Mayumi charges at this new girl instead, thankfully without the knife, and they wrestle for about two seconds before some tall, dark, and handsome man comes out of nowhere. He grabs Mayumi, easily trapping both of her wrists behind her back, then pulls her off the new girl.

Mayumi tries to kick at him. “Let go of me!”

“Not gonna happen, sweetheart.” Yeonjun has no clue who this other guy is, but he’s effectively disabled Mayumi for now. At least she won’t be bothering --

“Taehyun,” he whispers, and he runs toward the open RV door, knife still in hand. He skips up the stairs as fast as he possibly can. “Taehyun, are you in here --  _ oh, my God --” _

He puts the knife down on the driver’s seat, then rotates the seat from view, just in case Mayumi somehow follows him in. The entire kitchenette is in shambles. The drawers under the sink have been pulled out, and there is cutlery  _ everywhere,  _ forks and spoons and knives tossed around like playing cards. All of the other drawers have been pulled out as well, some of them dislodged from the wall. The curtains that once hung from the windows have been pulled down and have been mutilated, little blue pieces of curtain flung all over the place. Yeonjun kicks at a pile of curtains and spoons until he notices there are smaller bits mixed in. He reaches down carefully and pulls a keyboard key from the mess, a little lonesome  _ L.  _

“Oh, my God.” 

Yeonjun turns, but it’s the blonde girl from earlier. “What is going on here?”

“She’s a psycho,” was Yeonjun’s only reply.

“Oh, I can tell that now!” she says, hands over her mouth. “Look at all this. What happened? Do you know anything about this?”

“This RV belongs to one of my friends, he’s an artist who played yesterday. The psycho pink haired bitch is his girlfriend.”  _ Hopefully not for long,  _ Yeonjun thinks. “I just don’t know where he is. I’m more concerned for his safety than anything.”

“Do you think he’s hurt?” the girl asks as Yeonjun steps over piles of mess, then stops cold. Sitting in one corner of the kitchenette are Taehyun’s DJ decks, and every button has been ripped off of them. The one side is smashed in, and the turntables are gone, also ripped off.

He turns back to the girl. “Is security here yet? I called them.”

She checks out a window, curtains no longer in the way. “Yeah, some big dude’s got her. Looks like the police are here, too.”

“Okay, do me a favor, just stay in the doorway, make sure nobody else comes in here for right now. I’m looking for the dude, the artist, my friend.” Yeonjun feels his voice crack. “I don’t know what state he’s gonna be in, and it might not look pretty.” He switches to Taehyun’s Americanized name for a moment. “Terry?” 

The curtain that serves as a partition to the bedroom has been spared; Yeonjun is horrified that when he pushes it aside, Taehyun’s body will be on the bed, lacerated, that he’ll be dead. He closes his eyes and opens it, then peeks. 

No Taehyun.

He breathes a sigh of relief, then moves carefully around the room. The bedroom is a mess, but a more normal mess than the kitchenette. The curtains have also been spared here, so the room is dark. Yeonjun steps over stuffed animals and blankets, but there’s no sign of Taehyun here. “Did he get out somehow?” he wonders out loud, but the windows are sealed. 

“Where else could he --” Yeonjun exits the bedroom and tries to open the bathroom door, but it is locked.  _ Bingo.  _ Yeonjun backs up, then charges straight at the door. It holds, then Yeonjun charges at it again, this time focusing all of his momentum on the flimsy door handle. This time, the lock gives, and Yeonjun shoves his way into the bathroom. 

The first thing that hits Yeonjun is the  _ awful  _ smell; his hand immediately goes to his nose. He notices that there’s some sort of mess in the shower. Then he notices that Taehyun Rhodes is lying on his side on the floor. His eyes are closed, and he is not moving.

“Oh, no, no, no, no, Taehyun,” and Yeonjun’s knees hit the floor, his hands going to Taehyun’s shoulders, pushing him gently onto his back. Then, he feels for a pulse and easily finds one. He chokes back tears, relief flooding over him. “Taehyun, you better be okay, man, Soobin --”  _ It should be Soobin rescuing you now. It shouldn’t be me.  _ But Soobin is at the Waeng trailer, unreachable by phone, and security is here and hopefully Mayumi has been apprehended and  _ this is a hot mess. _

Taehyun is breathing, so Yeonjun tries tapping him on the face. “Taehyun. Terry Rhodes. Come on, Terry, I need to know that you’re in there.”

It takes a minute, but Taehyun  _ finally  _ stirs, and he opens one eye. He immediately puts his hand in front of his face. “God -- shit --” He rolls back onto his side, covering his eyes with his hands. He tries to collect himself the best he can, and about half of the buzzing is gone from his ears, but it is  _ way  _ too bright. “Who’s there? Soobin?”

“Yeonjun -- Daniel, Terry, it’s me, Daniel Choi. I’m sorry Soobin’s not here, but I guess you’re stuck with me as your knight in shining armor today.”

“Ugh. I’m going to throw up again.”

_ So that’s what that is,  _ Yeonjun thinks to himself as Taehyun rolls over. This time, he doesn’t even bother to get up or move his position, but instead he just dry heaves onto the bathroom floor. All that comes up is water mixed with bile. Yeonjun grabs a towel from the rack and gives it to Taehyun, who stays in a crouching position. 

He wipes off his mouth. “I feel like ass.”

“You look like ass. Can you move? We can’t stay here.”

“No? I don’t think so. If I stay put, I’m okay, but the second I move I feel sick again. Ugh, I wouldn’t be surprised if she poisoned my food.”

It brings Yeonjun back to reality. “Taehyun, I don’t know what happened, but I called security. I think they’re taking care of Mayumi outside. But if you’re sick, you really can’t stay here. You should at least get to the medical tent. Do you want me to call them?”

Taehyun nods. “Yeah. Maybe --” And then, he starts crying, breaking down on the floor. “I want to see Soobin. I don’t want to be here anymore. I want Mayumi gone.” He continues to cry until he dry heaves on the bathroom floor again. 

Yeonjun rubs Taehyun’s back until he stops dry heaving, and then he sticks his head out of the bathroom door. “Hey, Blondie --”

“Ivy --”

“Daniel. Can you get security to call for first aid? I found my friend, he’s okay, but he’s probably dehydrated and could stand to have a medic check him out.”

Ivy gives Yeonjun a thumbs up, then sticks her own head out of the RV to communicate this to the security guards. Yeonjun stays with Taehyun until there’s a knock on the bathroom door. When he lifts his head, he notices it’s a police officer. “Oh, hello there.”

“This the victim?” the officer asks.

“I think he’s mostly sick. I don’t know if she hurt him or not.” Yeonjun suddenly grimaces. “I -- uh, I touched the weapon, but I didn’t use it, you can ask Blondie --”

“Oh, I have no clue what is going on, but if you’re talking about that pink haired phenom, my partner is putting her in handcuffs right now. He’s gonna take her down to the precinct, and I’m gonna stay here and get witness testimony. What’s your name? What’s your relation to all of this?”

“Daniel Choi. I have a press badge for NeoNara, but I’m also Terry’s friend.” Yeonjun motions to Taehyun, still on the ground. “I’m the one she attacked with a knife outside.”

“She did  _ what?”  _ Taehyun whines from his spot on the ground. 

“Yeah, I’m going to need to get an official story from all of you,” the officer says. “But we can get your friend to the medical tent first. There are no wounds? She did not harm you?”

“I’m okay,” Taehyun whimpers. “I just need to lay down. I want a nap.”

Yeonjun can’t help but laugh. “We’re gonna get you out of here, but...you might want to do us all a favor and close your eyes on the way out.”

“Why?”

“We’ll tell you when we get to the medical tent, okay?”

Taehyun sighs. He’s not in a spot to argue. “Okay.”

The medical team arrives shortly after that, led by an androgynous nurse on call. They figure out Taehyun hasn’t broken anything -- he is in one piece, just sick if he moves, even if he stands up. So Yeonjun takes one for the team, leaning down, then picking Taehyun up, holding him bridal-style and carrying him out of the bathroom. 

“Eyes closed, Terry.”

“Okay. I won’t look.” Taehyun curls into Yeonjun, keeping his mouth shut. Yeonjun notices he looks a little green.

“Hey, look, when we get this all situated, we’re gonna get a hold of Soobin, okay? And we’re gonna tell him you’re okay, and then he can come see you. Does that sound good?”

All Yeonjun manages to get is a “mmhmm.” And Yeonjun steps over the broken DJ decks, the mountains of slashed curtain, the broken cutlery. If this is now a crime scene, he will need to leave everything intact for the officer. 

The police officer steps out of the RV, then Ivy. Yeonjun pauses, then grabs a somehow undisturbed kitchen towel from the counter and puts it over Taehyun’s eyes. “This should block out the sun.”

“Thank you,” Taehyun weakly says back, and then they exit the RV. His ears start to buzz again, and he can faintly hear the sound of people around. A car or two is on nearby; he can hear the motor. But there’s another sound he hears, and he recognizes the voice immediately as Mayumi’s.

It’s a howl of a “nooooooooooooo,” a wail like something out of a movie, and then “You killed him! You — he’s dead, and you killed him!” There is more sobbing, and then, “You killed him. I HATE YOU!”

And for a moment, Taehyun wants to get out of Yeonjun’s arms, wants to run to Mayumi, to show her that he’s okay, that it’s okay, that this was all just a big misunderstanding. He wants to make her happy again. If he can just do that, then maybe this pain will end. Maybe she can save him from himself, get rid of this buzzing in his ears, feed him chicken noodle soup to soothe his stomach as she did before. 

But then he hears the unmistakable sound of a police officer yelling, and then Mayumi screams back at the officer, and Yeonjun puts him down on a gurney. And Yeonjun keeps the towel over his eyes as the gurney is loaded onto a first aid cart, and the cart is driven back to the main NeoNara tent. It’s comforting and safe enough that Taehyun lets himself doze off. 

The Waeng trailer is light years away from Taehyun’s RV, but Soobin hears the police sirens.

He can’t  _ help  _ but wonder if something happened to Taehyun. Then, he shoves those feelings down for the umpteenth time.  _ Nothing happened to him. He’s at the Waeng set. He’s gonna be here after the show, and everything’s going to be okay again. Or he won’t, but I can’t think about that right now.  _

He growls at the fridge. Beomgyu had put all his booze in Yeonjun’s trailer, which is locked. Soobin is stuck with orange juice and some icky cherry cola he’s never seen before. 

He flips the channels on the in-trailer satellite TV until he flickers past the local TV station. The image on the TV looks strangely like NeoNara, so he flicks back.

“ — hearing reports of an assault at the NeoNara RV park, which is separate from the main campgrounds. All residents of trailers with numbers in the 700 range are being told to stay away from the area, or if they are at their trailers, to shelter in place. One person has been taken into police custody.”

The image on the screen is of a police cruiser, which has driven into the grass and is parked  _ right in front of Taehyun Rhodes’ RV. _

Soobin leaves so quickly he forgets to lock the door behind him.

He sprints toward the main info and security tent, not caring how he looks, definitely  _ not  _ caring about leaving his Blackberry behind, only caring about putting one foot in front of the other. He’s an idiot. He’s been waiting for Taehyun to come to him, to leave Mayumi and walk back into his life. He’s been so heartbroken that he’s been letting his feelings get in the way.

_ It might be too late. _

He should have gone to the Waeng set. He should have noticed something was wrong. He should have marched in and taken Taehyun from Mayumi. There are so many things that Soobin wishes he could have done differently. How can he say that he loves Taehyun when he’s not willing to move literal mountains for him?

This is all his fault.

He rushes into the security tent, looking for anybody he might know. He’s not only out of breath, but he’s panicking. Taehyun could be hurt — or worse. What if Mayumi crossed the line?  _ What if he’ll never get to see Taehyun again? _

“Oh, hello there,” he hears someone say, and he looks over to see the woman who had checked him in last year — Jennie was her name? “Are you okay?”

“The tent — the assault — Mayumi —“ Soobin tries to catch his breath and fails. “There was — what —“

Jennie pauses, looks him over, and then asks, “Wait, are you looking for Daniel Choi?”

“Yes? What does Yeonjun — what does Daniel have to do with this?” That was  _ not  _ the name Soobin had been expecting to hear. 

“Oh, you should definitely come with me then. Officer Jackson’s gonna want to talk to you.” And Jennie leads Soobin out of the main tent, towards the only building on site. They step in and walk to the left, down a hallway and then directly to the right. Jennie knocks on the door. “I have a Soobin Choi?”

“Soobin!” he hears Yeonjun’s voice, and Jennie opens the door. The room is normally multi-use, and it looks like the last thing it was used for was a kids’ art class. There are still tubs of paint sitting alongside the walls. Yeonjun is seated on a kids’ desk chair, but he gets up when Soobin enters. There are two other people in the room that Soobin has never seen before, and a black police officer who is still writing down notes. 

Taehyun, Mayumi, and the entirety of Waeng are nowhere to be seen.

“Yeonjun?” Soobin asks just before Yeonjun hugs him quickly.

“You are a sight for sore eyes. How’d you know what was going on, man? Your phone is useless up here.”

“Taehyun’s trailer was on the local news. Said there was an assault. You guys — where’s Taehyun? Where’s Mayumi? Where —“

“Taehyun is fine,” Yeonjun whispers to Soobin. “I promise you that. He is alive and fine.” And Soobin instantly feels a weight being lifted off his shoulders. Taehyun is okay.  _ Taehyun is okay. _

“Oh, we have an inquisitive one,” the officer asks as she puts down her papers. “Are you also a witness?”

“Not necessarily — Officer Jackson, this is Soobin, my roommate in New York City,” Yeonjun explains. “We’re all in the same friend group, me and him and Terry and one of the other bands performing here.”

Officer Jackson looks Soobin over. “Do you know of a Mary Barnett?”

_ Mayumi,  _ Yeonjun mouths to Soobin, and Soobin nods. “She was dating my friend, but I, uh, didn’t know she could be so violent —“

“You don’t know  _ anything _ about what happened today?”

Soobin shakes his head, biting back tears. “I was in my own RV, not paying any attention. We knew Mayu — we knew, um, Mary was really possessive of Terry, but we never thought she would do  _ this.  _ And I don’t even know what this is. It was just on the news. But they’re my friends, so I had to come find out.”

“We made the news,” one of the other people, a blonde girl, whispers. “River, does that mean we’re gonna be famous?”

“What did the news say again?” Yeonjun asks.

“Not much, just something about an assault. Said for people to stay away from the area.” Soobin thinks of Taehyun, of Mayumi, of  _ what she could have done.  _

“Okay, sit down,” Officer Jackson says. “If you’re involved in this, then I’ll fill you in, especially if you’re not a witness. I at this point cannot use your testimony regarding this event. I’ve already taken down these three, they were there at the scene of the crime.”

“You were there?” Soobin turns to Yeonjun.

“Terry didn’t show up to the Waeng set,” Yeonjun quickly explains. “So I went to check on him, and all  _ this  _ started.”

Officer Jackson begins to recap the story to Soobin. “What I have is that a Mary Barnett and her boyfriend, a Terry Rhodes, were both cohabiting a recreational vehicle owned by Terry’s father for the weekend. Terry is an artist known as King Solomon, and he played a set yesterday. While there seems to be a history of possessive behavior by Miss Barnett, to our knowledge it has not escalated into full violence. Both were expected to attend a show here at NeoNara at 3 PM, and when they did not show up, Mr. Choi here went to check on them. When Mr. Choi arrived at trailer lot 774, Miss Barnett exited the vehicle with a kitchen knife, and witnesses state she rushed at Mr. Choi and attempted to stab him.”

“She did  _ what?”  _ Soobin asked. 

“Miss Barnett assaulted the victim by biting his hand, which has been treated.”

Soobin looks over at Yeonjun’s wrist; there is a bandage on it. “Did she break skin, man?”

“Just a little.” Yeonjun grins. “It’s just a flesh wound.”

“Before the assailant Miss Barnett could strike the victim Mr. Choi again,” Officer Jackson continues, “two witnesses in the next RV over decided to intervene. Miss Jones was able to pull Miss Barnett off of Mr. Choi, and the weapon was dropped. Mr. Bennington was then able to hold Miss Barnett until security and police arrived.”

“Hi,” the blonde girl says to Soobin. “I’m Miss Jones. You can call me Ivy. We had to do something, she had a knife. This is my boyfriend, River.” At the mention of his name, River nods. 

“You saved my best friend’s life,” Soobin says with a smile. “You got Mayumi off of him. I owe you a lot.”

“When security and police arrived, Miss Barnett broke free from Mr. Bennington’s hold and resisted police activity. When we attempted to put her in handcuffs the first time, she kicked at one police officer and bit another.”

“Oh, I missed  _ that  _ part,” Yeonjun says with a whistle. “She nasty.”

“We were eventually able to restrain Miss Barnett, and my partner has taken her to the precinct, where she will be held on bail.” Officer Jackson put her papers down and sighed. “That’s the first part of it, anyway.”

“You  _ arrested  _ her?” Soobin asks.

“Soobin, she assaulted a police officer,” Yeonjun says. “Wouldn’t that get you arrested in New York City?”

“Oh. Now that you think about it...yeah, that would.” Soobin takes a deep breath. This is a lot to process, and he really just wants to see Taehyun. But he trusts that Taehyun is safe, and he lets Officer Jackson continue.

“So here’s what I don’t know.” Officer Jackson turns her form to the other side. “At some point before 3 PM, Miss Barnet and Mr. Rhodes must have had some sort of an altercation, an argument, something. It appears Miss Barnett may have turned violent at that time, because we do know Mr. Rhodes locked himself in the RV bathroom and stayed there. Miss Barnett then began to destroy the property in the RV, using her hands and the kitchen knives she found as weapons. I have the list of destroyed property as: four curtains, three cabinets, one laptop computer, and some very expensive music equipment.”

“His decks.” Soobin felt his heart drop. “Mayumi destroyed Taehyun’s DJ equipment. And his laptop.” He put his head in his hands. “Ugh.”

“Miss Barnett only appeared to stop her destruction of property when Mr. Choi knocked on the door, and she turned her attention to him instead. After Miss Barnett was apprehended, Mr. Rhodes was found in the RV bathroom, seemingly physically unharmed. It does not appear that Mr. Rhodes was attacked by Miss Barnett, but we are waiting on his testimony to confirm that.”

“So he wasn’t attacked?” Soobin asks.

“Dude, I was the one assaulted, not Taehyun,” Yeonjun says. “I totally took one for the team.”

“Where is Taehyun now?” Soobin has been patient, but if Taehyun is okay, then  _ where is he? _

“Mr. Rhodes,” Yeonjun corrects.

“Mr. Rhodes is currently in the care of first aid staff here at the festival,” Officer Jackson continues. “He is in one piece, but he has appeared to suffer some exhaustion and dehydration. Last I heard, he was taking a nap down the hall where they’re keeping him. That’s why I have to wait on him for his testimony. We also have to wait on the property owners to see if they’re going to press charges regarding the destruction in their RV.”

“The property owners…” Soobin freezes.  _ Taehyun’s parents have been called. They’re on their way to NeoNara.  _

“Soobin.”

He looks up. Yeonjun is looking straight at him. “Go to him.”

“Go…”

“Taehyun is down the hall. I think he’s just sleeping. But more than anything, he wanted to see you. So before Taehyun’s parents get here, and we have to start being people again...at least go see him. Make sure he’s okay. You’ve waited long enough.”

Soobin nods, and with Officer Jackson’s permission, he leaves the holding room behind. He walks down the hall to a door on the left, where a dark skinned androgynous nurse is keeping watch. His nametag simply reads “Lark.”

“Are you looking for Terry Rhodes?” he asks.

Soobin nods. 

“He’s sleeping, but...are you Soobin Choi? He said you’re the only one allowed in here.”

“I am.” Soobin shows off his badge, which has his name listed.

Lark smiles, then cracks the door open for him. “You’ll have to be really quiet, and do not turn the lights on. He is very sensitive to light and sound right now. We’re thinking it was a panic attack, but he’s had some fluids in him and seems to be keeping them down. Let me know immediately if something is wrong.”

“Okay,” Soobin whispers back, and he enters the room. It’s a makeshift medical room, with not a lot to its name. There is a cot along the far wall near the window, and the blinds are drawn. Taehyun is asleep on the cot, and for a moment, he almost looks dead. But Soobin sees that his chest is rising and falling. He’s only asleep. 

“Oh, Taehyun,” he whispers. “How did it come to this?”

He walks across the room and sits on the edge of the cot. The memories of last year’s NeoNara flash through his mind, like they were just yesterday. Taehyun had been hiding this secret of abuse and trauma for so long — years, even — and this is the result. If only he had actually gotten Taehyun’s phone number long ago — but who wasn’t to say that Mayumi wouldn’t have been violent back then either? At least here, Yeonjun and those strangers had been around to help. 

“I’m so sorry,” he whispers. “I should have been there for you. I’m such a coward. I don’t know what you see in me...I don’t know what anybody sees in me right now. But I’m just so glad you’re safe. Even if nothing else comes of this, I’m so glad you’re okay.” He pats Taehyun on the shoulder, not enough to wake him up. 

He should just leave. He doesn’t deserve to see Taehyun when he wakes up. He doesn’t deserve to be here, helping him through this, when he’s done nothing to begin with. Beomgyu and Kai came up with the plan to dump Mayumi, and Yeonjun had rescued Taehyun from the RV. And what did Soobin do? Sit in the Waeng trailer like a wuss. 

He gets up from the cot, and Taehyun stirs, but keeps his eyes closed. “Yeonjun?”

Soobin pauses. “Taehyun, it’s Soobin.”

“Soobin.” Taehyun’s voice changes. He rolls, carefully, onto his side, then grabs for Soobin’s hands, eyes still closed. “Soobin, where are you?”

And Soobin starts to cry, taking Taehyun’s hand in his own. Those were the words he had wanted to hear,  _ Soobin, where are you?  _ “I’m right here, Taehyun, I’m so sorry —“

“No…” It takes Taehyun a minute to get the words out. He focuses on holding Soobin’s hand. “Stay. And...no apologies. I’m okay. I do this...sometimes. I just...need to sleep it off. I think.” And he laughs, just a bit, and then he opens one eye. “Okay. It’s not...super bright.” He opens both and smiles. “Soobin. You  _ are _ here.”

Soobin reaches with his left arm, wrapping it loosely around Taehyun’s shoulders. His doubts had evaporated with Taehyun’s smile. “I’m never, ever leaving you again. Ever. Do you hear me?”

“Mmmn. I do, but...Soobin...be gentle. Or I may...throw up again.”

“Huh?” Soobin sits back. “Are you sick?”

Taehyun laughs. “Nausea. Mayumi’s a bitch.”

“She’s such a bitch. Oh, did you hear? The police took her away. She’s gone for good, Taehyun. She’s gone.”

“She’s gone…” Taehyun starts to cry, and Soobin holds him with one arm again, giving him room to breathe. “She’s finally gone.”

“And I meant what I said.” Soobin kisses Taehyun on the top of his head. “I am never, ever leaving you alone again. Ever.”

Waeng arrives at the main building before Taehyun’s parents do. Cici and other Waeng superfans help Angel tear down the set while Beomgyu, Shelly and Kai check in on first Yeonjun, then briefly Soobin and Taehyun. Soobin gets Taehyun awake enough to talk to Officer Jackson, and he confirms that Mayumi only slapped him. “No knives, no weapons. I got...into the bathroom before...things got worse,” he explains in bits and pieces.

Then Taehyun’s parents arrive. Roger and Melinda Rhodes are as middle class and white as you could possibly ever get with a couple, and Soobin wonders just  _ how  _ Korean Taehyun Rhodes could be their son. But when they enter the first aid room, Taehyun starts crying when he sees them, and they hold him close. Roger then goes with Officer Jackson to review the damage to the RV.

“The RV itself is in working order,” he explains when he gets back. “We can clean it up pretty easily and drive it back tonight. Terry, you can get a good night’s sleep in your own bed, and we can address the rest of this in the morning.”

“Actually…” Taehyun looks at the ground. “I want to stay. Can I stay? Please? I’m okay now, and, well, I have my friends to...help me out with things.”

Roger looks at the motley crew of friends his son has amassed: three Korean men, a woman who is clearly transgender, and another man of dubious heritage. “I love you, son, but is there any reason you have to stay here?”

“I mean, we’d hate to miss Sunday,” Yeonjun says with a smile.

Ivy, still behind Yeonjun, snaps her fingers and stands up. “Yeah, that’s right! Our set is tomorrow at 3 PM. You guys should come!”

“Oh, I don’t think we would miss that for the world,” Soobin says. “Miss Ivy and her boyfriend helped your son out when he couldn’t get out of the RV.”

“We should all go,” Beomgyu says, eyes on River. “You look like my kind of musician.” 

Yeonjun grins. “I’m sure we can do even more than that. I wanna know everything about your set, who’s playing, what kind of music you play, the works. I bet you didn’t know I’m a music blogger.”

River stares back in shock. “I didn’t know that!”

“Can I please stay?” Taehyun asks his parents. “I know it would be easy to just go home for a bit, but...I wanna stay here, and relax for tonight, and catch up with my friends. I don’t want to do anything fancy, just keep it simple. But tomorrow, I want to go back out with them, and go see River’s show, and enjoy them. They’re only up from the city for today and tomorrow.”

“Oh, honey,” Melinda says, “I’m so glad you have friends! You only hung out with Mary for so long, and this seems so much healthier.”

“You have no idea,” Taehyun mutters. 

“But first,” Roger says, “we have to clean up the RV. Who’s with me?”

Taehyun knows at this point that Mayumi has wrecked his DJ equipment. He has already cried over it, with Soobin on one side and Yeonjun on the other, and Beomgyu has already come up with at least three ideas on how to replace it. But Taehyun does not need to see the RV a mess right now. If he’s going to stay in the RV again tonight, all of Mayumi’s things need removed, as well as the ruined elements. So Soobin, Kai, and Shelly go with Roger to the RV, while the others stay with him and he formally gets cleared by first aid to return to the festival. 

“Put the curtains in here,” Roger says as he produces a plastic bag. Shelly and Kai get to work on the electronics; Shelly puts all of the DJ turntable pieces together, while Kai keeps the computer safe. They may be able to extract the hard drive information and put it on a new laptop for Taehyun. Soobin pulls all of the blue from the corners, from under the dining room booth, when he sees a different color.

He pulls it out carefully. He would know that orange-pink color anywhere. 

The t-shirt has been ripped clean down the middle, with several other slashes through it. An entire section from the side is missing, and Soobin can’t find it. But the back is mostly preserved, and Soobin folds it into a small pile. He puts it on the booth table, and Roger sees it immediately.

“What’s that?”

“This is my project.” Soobin looks up at Roger, hoping Taehyun’s dad won’t ask questions. “I need to take care of this one. Don’t tell Terry, okay?”

Roger almost insists that he should know, but after the day it’s been, he doesn’t need any more drama. He’s been aware for some time that the son he raised isn’t the son he knows at all. So he nods, and then he gathers up the rest of the curtains. 

The curtains are thrown out. Shelly takes the busted decks to the Waeng trailer, putting all of the small pieces in a bag and keeping the rest of it safe. Since they know the model number, they’ll be able to raise money for a replacement. Kai puts Taehyun’s busted laptop in a drawer, sealing it tight so he won’t have to see it yet. Eventually, Taehyun will have to face that music, but not this weekend.

And Soobin takes Taehyun’s ripped T-shirt with him back to the Waeng trailer. He enters, then finds his bag and puts it at the very bottom. Let Taehyun think it is gone for now. He’s sat by and let the world happen to him for too long. Let him fix this one thing.

Once the RV is clean, the others come back. Yeonjun and Beomgyu walk by Taehyun, who is okay on his own feet but has to move slow. He’s still exhausted from the day’s events, but it’s all fatigue and not actual pain. And Soobin opens the door for him, and they all crowd inside, Beomgyu and Shelly and Kai and Yeonjun and Soobin and Roger and Melinda and Taehyun, in the center of it all. 

Taehyun looks over the RV. “The curtains are gone.”

“She destroyed those too,” Roger says. “But the bedroom should be all right.” 

Taehyun slowly walks to the back, pushing the curtain aside. The queen bed is made, sheets tight. It smells like somebody sprayed Febreze through the entire room. There is no sign of Mayumi or any of her things. “She’s really gone.”

“She did it to herself,” Yeonjun says, right behind Taehyun.

He turns and gives Yeonjun a big hug, suddenly, out of nowhere. “I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t come to my rescue. I owe you. A lot. Thank you.”

Yeonjun laughs, and then he whispers in Taehyun’s ear, far away from his parents. “I did it so you could see Soobin again.”

Taehyun exchanges a glance with Soobin, and he is too tired to feel  _ anything,  _ much less the fireworks and butterflies he usually sees when Soobin is around. But it sits in his stomach like a warmth, something he knows will be there, when he’s ready for it. 

Roger and Melinda stick around for a while, and Roger orders enough pizza for everyone. Typically deliveries to the campground aren’t allowed like this, but Yeonjun talks to Jessa and Jennie, and they intercept the delivery man and take them straight to RV 774. Beomgyu almost goes back to his RV for alcohol until Roger mentions his house doesn’t drink, so they stick to orange soda and bottled water. The TV blares in the background as everybody talks, a spontaneous party set up in the little RV. Roger and Melinda sit in the drivers’ seats, and people crowd around, on the floor, sitting on counters, meeting one another, exchanging as much information as they are comfortable with. Yeonjun and Kai sit next to each other, and while they don’t make any motion of being _ together  _ Taehyun already gets the hint. Before long, Roger has Taehyun’s deck of cards, and as they play the biggest round of Slapjack possible, Taehyun’s parents learn how to pronounce names,  _ Yuhn-joon  _ and  _ Soo-bean  _ and  _ Bum-gyu, rhymes with ew,  _ and  _ Tae plus the Hyun in Hyundai, rhymes with fun.  _ And they mess up a lot and they still call him Terry, and Taehyun doesn’t seem to mind at least for now. 

Eventually Roger and Melinda leave, with the promise that they will be back tomorrow after the show at 3 to help get the RV back to Taehyun’s house. Yeonjun disappears to his own RV, taking Kai with him, and they run away to the tune of Beomgyu’s cat calls and chants of “Kiss him! Kiss him!” And when Kai stops Yeonjun from running away and gives the crowd what they want, the remaining group erupts into cheers. 

“We’re headed back to the Waeng trailer,” Beomgyu says. “Well, I am, Shelly’s going to her own place. Soobin, what’s your plan?”

Soobin looks at Taehyun. “I assume you don’t want to stay here alone.”

Taehyun almost opens his mind to say he will be fine, but then he catches a glimpse of the nearby window, without its curtains, and he remembers what kind of a day it’s been. He probably shouldn’t be alone. “Soobin, can you sleep above the driver’s cabin? I think I’ll be all right, but...you’re right, I don’t want to be alone. Not like this.”

Beomgyu and Shelly agree, and they stay with Taehyun while Soobin gets his backpack from their trailer. They then leave, and Soobin and Taehyun both change separately into their night clothes, Soobin in the bathroom, Taehyun in the bedroom. And as Taehyun pulls his white t-shirt tight onto his frame, he realizes that he has no clue where his paint shirt is. He sticks his head from out around the curtain, but the drawer that had held both his DJ equipment and the paint shirt is gone. His dad had taken it back to the house. 

“Taehyun?” Soobin is seated at the booth. “Are you okay?”

Taehyun looks up at Soobin. And he realizes just how  _ empty  _ the RV feels for some reason. It’s like Mayumi’s voice is echoing out into the space, like it’s taking up where the curtains used to be, like she’s going to come through the door any moment and finish what she started. The buzzing in Taehyun’s ears increases, but he doesn’t feel sick, he just feels like Mayumi —

“I don’t know,” he says, and he feels Soobin’s arms around him, loose, giving him room to breathe.

“Do you want to lay down?”

“I...I don’t know if I can sleep here.” Taehyun doesn’t know how to explain it. He’s kind of half scared that Soobin will think he’s a wuss.

“Are you thinking Mayumi’s gonna come back?” And there it is, the elephant in the room.

“I know she’s not. I just...feel really jumpy like she is. I’m so used to having her around.”

“Then come here.” Soobin points to the side of the bed. Taehyun sits, then lays down, and Soobin turns on one of the side lights and lays next to him, giving plenty of space between them. For a moment, it’s awkward. Taehyun had been supposed to break up with Mayumi at the Waeng set, and he should be discussing things with Soobin, kissing him, even. 

But Taehyun doesn’t have the energy for that right now. There’s still fear coursing through his veins. He feels like, the moment he kisses Soobin, Mayumi will barge in. He hates this.

“You’re scared?”

“Yeah.”

“I think it’s normal to feel that way. I obviously haven’t dated someone as crazy as Mayumi, heck, I haven’t dated anybody else before. But...you want to move on from her, right?”

Taehyun nods. “Soobin, you said that nothing has changed, right?”

Soobin turns his body to face Taehyun. He doesn’t make a move to kiss Taehyun, or even to pull him into his arms. But he reaches over and taps Taehyun’s hand, then holds it. “Nothing has changed. But you’re not okay right now.”

“I’m really not.”

“I know. I’m not going anywhere, but I also need to give you space. I think it’s totally normal to expect Mayumi to show up. She always did before.”

Taehyun stares at the ceiling. “So now what?”

“I stay here, with you. And we do what you’re comfortable with. If that’s sitting and talking and holding hands, because you can’t sleep, then that’s what we’ll do.”

“Soobin, don’t you need to sleep?”

“I live in a city that doesn’t sleep. I think I can be okay for now. I want to make sure you’re okay.”

“I don’t want to think about Mayumi. I want to sleep, and I want to go to River’s set tomorrow, and feel normal. I don’t want to think about music right now, so it’s probably good that River just plays guitar and has friends who back him up in a band.”

“Yeah, no EDM sets for you for a while.” Soobin realizes what he’s said, but Taehyun laughs, just a bit.

“I’m so glad you’re here.” Taehyun squeezes Soobin’s hand, then rolls on his right side so he’s facing Soobin, distance still between them. “I’m...I really thought things had been messed up because of Mayumi, and you’re still here, still trying. Why do you always keep running after me?”

_ Because I love you,  _ Soobin thinks, but those are  _ not  _ the words Taehyun needs to hear right now. Instead, he says, “I didn’t really do anything. Beomgyu and Kai came up with the plan, and Yeonjun saved you. I just sat in a trailer and picked my nose.”

“Yeah, but you’re the only one who really matters. Yeonjun wouldn’t have done that for you, Beomgyu and Kai wouldn’t have planned things around their set, if you didn’t —“ He laughs. “I answered my own question.”

“You did?”

“Yeah. I —“ Taehyun pauses, his tongue set on those  _ three little words,  _ before he swallows them. “I like you, Soobin. I still like you. I’m scared, and Mayumi is awful, and I have a lot to figure out. But I can say, right now, with certainty, that I like you. And I would be really happy if you stayed near me to make sure I get through the rest of this festival okay."

Soobin smiles. “And I like you too, Taehyun.”

“I know that. That’s the reason you’re still here.” And they both laugh, neither one pushing things, just content to be at the moment.

“Are you tired, Taehyun?”

“No. Still not. I slept for like three hours today, man, I’m not tired at all. How about...how about you tell me what happened to you in the year between us being here, and now? Like, we left NeoNara last year, and Mayumi ate me alive. And I know what happened with Waeng. It was hard to miss, I was kind of a part of that. But I like you and yet I know so little about  _ you.  _ Are you still going to school? Oh, man, what’s it like going to school in New York City? That would be  _ so cool.” _

“Do you want me to tell you? Okay, I will.” And Soobin talks to Taehyun about Baruch College, and how he had traveled from Seoul to be there, and he reminds Taehyun of how he met Yeonjun and how they became roommates. “He just graduated, and he moved  _ way  _ uptown, so I have a new place to live now. I’m still getting used to it.” And he talks about subway trains and bodegas and gross,  _ gross  _ pigeons, and somewhere between Gramercy Park and Harlem, Taehyun finally dozes off. 

And Soobin lets go of his hand, then kisses it quickly before setting it back down. He turns off the light, then heads to the pull-down bed by the drivers’ seats. Taehyun is finally safe and sound.

_ Finally. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think everybody can collectively breathe a sigh of relief now. :) We're not done talking about Mayumi or healing from (gestures wildly) all that, but I don't think we'll be seeing her physically on screen again for a bit, if at all.
> 
> I apologize for the delay in everything. I was on hiatus for mental health issues -- I do this every year, some of you now know why, and because I spent that time on my healing instead of writing I feel like I'm further in my healing progress now. (I *did* write something on it -- if you're really interested in reading about how messed up I am, it's under my Creative Nonfiction book.) Immediately after my hiatus, because of an emergency, I've been a caregiver for an elderly person for the past three weeks or so, which has not only kept me busy but has also been a triggering thing for me. It's bringing up a trauma response in my body. I'm aware of it, but I don't like it. 
> 
> I will be busy again for the next week because I am moving back to school, so I need to pack and make sure I have everything. Because of the COVID situation, I don't know when I will be home next. Once I'm at school and I know what my courseload looks like, I'll be able to set aside time to write. But there will probably be another gap between this chapter and the next, because I need to plan out the next year of NeoNara, make graphics, etc. I'm also working on music for the story again, and if people REALLY push me for it, I can throw it up on Spotify/legit streaming services. 
> 
> I hope to see you all in an update soon. Your comments and your Twitter messages make my day, but they also remind me that there's a big world out there that does like my story. I know I will never be the most popular author and I'll never have thousands of hits. But I think I can keep plugging along in this way because of you. Thank you.


	7. 2014: Sunday, Day Three

When Taehyun wakes up, the first thing he notices is that the bed is empty. There’s no Mayumi beside him.

Yesterday’s memories float back to him. _Oh, yeah. I was assaulted...I think. I threw up a lot. Mayumi got arrested. She’s not here. Soobin should be here._ But when he turns to see if Soobin is in bed beside him, he’s not. There’s only blankets and an extra pillow and curtains still on the windows, safe from when Mayumi had gone on her rampage. 

_Oh._

There’s something about this that feels odd. The entire RV feels strangely empty. Taehyun knows he’s all alone. He’s never slept totally alone before. Either his parents have always been home, so he can go to them if he needs something, or Mayumi is always around. 

_She’s going to come back._

Taehyun imagines, for a second, what it might be like. Mayumi would knock on the door to the RV, ask to be taken back in. She’d probably be in tears. Say how her parents bailed her out of wherever the police took her, ask for forgiveness, say the demons made her do some horrible things and she’s so, _so_ sorry. Taehyun imagines the touch of her skin, the way she would look up at him, all teary-eyed. She would probably say something along the lines of, “This would have never happened if you had just asked me to marry you.”

 _I need to find Soobin._ Taehyun’s voice is weak, and he finds he suddenly can’t get a straight thought out. His mind swarms with thoughts of Mayumi being right outside his door, thinking of how he needs to hide, _needs_ to get away from her. _What if Soobin is here? Where is Soobin? I need to find him, I need to get him away from her._ His mind starts buzzing again, fog setting in. And he tries to force himself to get up, but it doesn’t work. 

_No. Mayumi’s coming back. Mayumi’s going to take me away. I know it this time._ It takes all he has, but Taehyun manages to roll off the bed, taking most of the blankets with him. He stares at the ceiling for a moment, then takes a deep breath and scoots the blankets off of himself. He crawls over where the blankets have fallen, then reaches for the curtain that separates the bedroom from the rest of the RV and pushes it aside. 

He looks up. The pull down bed is still made up, but Soobin is nowhere to be seen. 

_He’s gone. Did Mayumi get him? Where did he go?_ Taehyun puts his head between his knees, tries to think straight, fails. _He left me. He thought I was fine for the night and left me. Didn’t he think that Mayumi would be back? Why did he leave me alone like this? Why am I all alone? Does nobody love me? Where is Mayumi? At least she loved me. She’ll be back for me. I’ll be okay. Soobin left, but Mayumi will be back. I’ll never be alone again if she’s by my side. She’s always by my side. I’m always safe when I’m around her. That’s why I’m panicking like this. It’s because she’s not here right now. I want for them to drop the charges. I’ll pay for the RV damages, I’ll quit DJing, I don’t care, I just want Mayumi back with me --_

“Taehyun?” Soobin’s voice wafts through the RV, and then Taehyun hears footsteps. He barely has time to recognize that _Soobin is still here_ before Soobin’s arms come around him, pulling him into a loose hug. “Taehyun, honey, are you okay? We need to get you back to bed.”

Taehyun doesn’t answer. 

Soobin strokes Taehyun’s hair. He’s not the lightest of sleepers, but he has barely dozed all night, mostly worried about Taehyun. Soobin knows he can sleep on the train ride back to the city later today. Right _now,_ Taehyun needs him. “Taehyun. Sweetheart. Talk to me. Are you okay?”

Taehyun does not uncurl from his ball, but he tries to speak. “Mayumi…”

“She’s gone, Taehyun. Do you think she’s going to come back?”

“Yes.” And Taehyun _finally_ finds his words, leaning on the bedroom floor, hands in front of him, head bowed down, eyes closed. “Where is she?”

“Mayumi? Probably still at the precinct, unless her parents got her out.”

“She’s coming back.” Taehyun takes in a deep, sharp breath. “She’s coming back, Soobin, did you lock the doors --”

Soobin tilts Taehyun’s face up, just a bit, and gives him no time to think before he presses his lips against Taehyun’s. The rush of emotions and hormones and memories and _knowing this is where he belongs, knowing this is where he needs to be, right now,_ hits Soobin like an express subway train. But he holds back, holding the kiss, knowing Taehyun is not okay, needing him to just _stop_ for a moment. 

And Taehyun does stop. He whimpers a bit, but Soobin makes no motion to deepen the kiss. He simply holds it, _holds Taehyun,_ suspended in midair away from his fear and panic, hoping the thoughts will stop. 

They don’t -- they start to snowball again. _What if Mayumi sees them?_

Taehyun pushes Soobin away.

“No, no -- she’ll see us.” He wraps his arms around his body, staying kneeling on the floor.

“Taehyun.” Soobin feels that same stabbing pain in his heart, but he knows one thing for sure: Mayumi is _not_ coming back. “Taehyun, you’re _not_ okay.”

“I know.”

“Mayumi is not here.”

“How do you know that? She’s always watching, always sees me, everything I do.”

“But she cannot see you if she was literally taken away by police. Taehyun, even if Mayumi got free from that, if her parents took her home, do you think she would be allowed back to NeoNara? No. The grounds are closed for the weekend. Security would see anybody who comes in. And everything in this RV is locked, and I’m sure they’ve got extra people patrolling through the RV park because of her. And I’m right here.” Soobin takes Taehyun’s shoulders. “Right here. What did I tell you earlier?”

Taehyun looks up at Soobin and tries to think, but his brain is a mush of _how are you sure Mayumi’s not just gonna show up_ and _I need her to stay far away from me._ “I don’t know. I’m sorry.”

“I told you earlier that I was never going to let go of you again. And I went up in the other bed to sleep, but I thought you wanted me there. I’m sorry I left you alone to sleep, Taehyun, is that what caused this?”

“I don’t know.” 

Soobin hugs Taehyun tight, and Taehyun lets himself bury his face into Soobin’s shoulder. He takes a deep breath, nose pressed against the fabric, the smells of last year’s NeoNara coming back to him. _Last year, at this time, they were curled up in bed together after the best make out session in the world. Now, he can’t even think straight._

He grabs onto Soobin’s shirt with both hands, running the fabric through his fingers, forcing himself to believe this is real. Mayumi might be out there. She probably is, knowing her. But if he stays in this RV, if he stays here with Soobin, then he’s safe. The RV park has floodlights that keep the grounds lit after dark, and soon, it will be morning. 

He takes another deep breath. As long as he is at NeoNara, he is _safe._ If he goes home, who knows? But at least until the set later on today, he will be okay.

Taehyun leans forward, unable to lift his head at the moment, and presses a chaste kiss to Soobin’s collarbone. “Stay. Please.”

“Okay. I’m going to lift you, is that okay?”

“Mmhmm.” And Soobin reaches under Taehyun’s legs, pulling him up into his arms. It only takes two steps to deposit Taehyun back onto his bed, and then Soobin runs around, collecting the blankets from where they had fallen. He wraps Taehyun up like a burrito, then, “Do you need a light on?”

“No? Too bright.”

“Maybe then we can crack some of these curtains? Then you can see that Mayumi’s not in the room with you.”

“Oh. It is awful dark. Maybe we can do that.” And Soobin cracks the curtains in the bedroom, just a bit. He lays Taehyun back down, and then he sits on top of the covers.

“Do you want me to stay?”

“Yes.” The need is evident in Taehyun’s voice. “Please stay.”

“Okay.” Soobin pulls himself under the covers, aligning his body with Taehyun’s. He doesn’t touch him -- not yet. Taehyun’s still hurting from all of this -- Soobin _knows_ he’s still convinced that Mayumi will show up. And after what Taehyun’s been through, why wouldn’t he? She came in like a wrecking ball at any given moment, making it impossible for Taehyun to live his life. Any moment of safety probably seems like a dream. Soobin doesn’t mind laying by Taehyun, but he’s not going to give into another kiss, will _not_ take advantage of Taehyun just because he’s hurting. That wouldn’t make him any better than Mayumi. 

But also...Soobin still feels kind of guilty. It was Yeonjun who had found Taehyun in the RV during the assault. It was Beomgyu who was already organizing some sort of relief fund for Taehyun’s music equipment. And Soobin feels like he has done nothing. 

“I can’t sleep,” and then Taehyun says, “I don’t want to think about her.”

“So don’t.”

“It’s not that easy.”

“I know. Do you need another distraction?”

“You. You are my distraction.” Taehyun reaches for Soobin’s hand, and he is hesitant, but he grabs it.

“Taehyun, I -- I know I said I’m not going to ever leave you. That’s true. I’m not. I just…”

“You’ll have to leave in a little bit anyway.” Taehyun looks down. “You’ve got to go back to New York. And I have to stay here. That’s just how it is.”

“But I’m not leaving, Taehyun. Not leaving _you._ Mayumi can’t take your phone, can she?”

“She had it on her when she was arrested.”

“Oh. Well...you’ll get it back. And I can leave my phone number with you, and we can text, and we can actually get to know each other better this time. And maybe you can come visit or something, and I know I’ll want to come visit. I’ll be blowing up your phone all the time so that Mayumi won’t even know to contact you. Hey, you could change your number! How about that? I could be, like, the only person with your new number.”

Taehyun tries to hold back the tears again. “Why are you so nice to me?”

“Because --” Soobin literally catches himself before he says those _three words_ out loud. 

Taehyun notices before he can recover. “Cat got your tongue?”

“Something like that.” They both laugh. 

“Soobin,” Taehyun whispers, “I forgive you for not being there with Daniel when he rescued me. You were with the band. You had other stuff you had to be doing. I was just glad that you came to see me.”

And Soobin has to make Taehyun stop talking, _now._ “No, no, Taehyun -- you don’t understand. I -- I have to tell you this. I wasn’t doing anything at all. I was so, so nervous that Mayumi would do something or she would manipulate things that I didn’t want to be a part of this year at _all._ I didn’t even want to come, you can ask Beomgyu about it. I was such a mess that I got --” He laughs. “Wait, you might not know about this. I got so drunk last night before the set that I threw up on Yeonjun’s shoes. And Beomgyu stayed with me all night while I threw up, and I was so miserable, that Beomgyu said I needed to stay at the Waeng trailer all day. They were gonna go play, and you were gonna be there, and after the set they were gonna bring you to the trailer and everything was gonna be okay. Until it wasn’t, and I wasn’t there for you, and I’m so, so sorry, and I feel like this is all my fault.” 

Taehyun listens to Soobin talk for a moment, paying attention to what he has to say. The thoughts of Mayumi coming back into the RV are shoved aside for a few blissful seconds. And now that Soobin is in front of him, he knows exactly what he wants to say. His thoughts are as clear as day. 

“Soobin. Do you think that you haven’t done anything at all to help me?”

“It’s all been Beomgyu and Waeng.” Soobin sniffles. “I’m just the wuss who kissed you at the Polaris Rider set.”

Taehyun is still holding Soobin’s hand; he brings it to his mouth and kisses it, gently. “I don’t like Beomgyu. I don’t like Yeonjun, although I’m sure he could find some way to win me over if he was really interested. But I think he’s got Kai.”

“He definitely has Kai.” They both laugh again.

“Do you have any clue what last year was like to me?” Taehyun whispers, taking advantage of the time he has. “I’ve gone my entire life thinking that being in a relationship with a pushy woman was just normal. Even my dad was always like, Terry, you’ve got to keep that girl in line, that’s how you keep her. Stuff like that. My mom was more understanding. But when I was always with Mayumi, I never understood how anybody could feel sparks or magic or anything when they were with someone else. And then I literally met you, and -- the _sight_ of your blue hair, and your smiling face, made my insides do things I couldn’t think anybody else could. And _then_ you kissed me, and oh God, Soobin, I --” He just ends up laughing about that. “I am _so gay.”_

“I think we both are at this point,” Soobin says back. 

“But then we separated, and Mayumi took over again, and things sucked, yeah. But I couldn’t just _forget_ you, Soobin, you don’t just forget someone who changed your life like that. That weekend was so incredible, and I knew that I could still just get back here to find you. Even if you weren’t here, I could ask the staff, or ask Daniel -- ugh, I keep calling him Daniel -- and I could find a way back to you somehow, get help. And throughout this entire past year, I’ve kept you right in the front of my mind. Whenever Mayumi was saying something, I would just think of you instead. When she kissed me, I imagined it was you kissing me instead.” He pauses. “When she would…”

“Would?” Soobin is as dense as a rock. 

“You’ve never been in a relationship before, right?”

“No?”

“So you’ve never had sex?”

“Oh, you had sex with Mayumi?”

“Not because I wanted to. Because she made me.”

“Oh.” Soobin pauses. “How does that work?”

Taehyun’s voice is biting. “The same way it works on TV when a woman gets kidnapped in a park, Soobin, _it’s called rape._ But I just sat there, and I took it, because I knew someday I’d get back to you.”

Soobin reaches over and pulls Taehyun into a lopsided laying-down hug. He doesn’t know what else to do. He doesn’t want to think about Taehyun, with Mayumi, _like that._ “She’s gone.”

“I know. For now. I think I believe that now. We’ll see how much I believe it later.”

“I’ll take _for now_.” Soobin kisses Taehyun quickly on the forehead. 

“But I hate how you just go about saying that you didn’t do anything this entire time, when your mere _existence_ got me through all this shit. Soobin, knowing you were still out there, and especially knowing that nothing has changed -- that is what got me through. You were like this light, this northern star, that I kept following. Even when I couldn’t see you in real life, I knew you were still there, probably cheering me on somewhere. And I hoped that you didn’t really believe that I was in love with Mayumi or something like that, not at all. I could never be after the way you kissed me, knowing that was real, that the way I felt for you was real. So don’t please go around saying you didn’t do anything when you have been the one force driving me through this _entire_ year, okay? Just being here with you -- that’s enough.”

And it’s Soobin’s turn to cry, just a little bit. The weight on his chest has finally lifted. “You didn’t -- it’s okay that I didn’t come save you, because I’m a wuss?”

“Soobin. Listen to me. You saved me just by existing. I’m sure you’ll want to do things in the future, but even just being there -- that was all I needed.”

“Just -- just me being here was enough? I don’t have to fight for you?”

“Mayumi did enough fighting to last us ages. Not everything has to be that dramatic. I didn’t need you to show up and save the day. I needed you to just be here, and you are. Whatever happens next happens, but I’m safe now because I followed your star. You led me here.”

Soobin sits and cries for a minute; Taehyun lets him. Then, “Why? Why am I your guiding star?”

 _Because I love you,_ Taehyun wants to say, but he shoves the words back in his mouth before they can ever come out. 

Soobin realizes it this time. “Does the cat have your tongue now?”

“Oh.” They laugh, and then Taehyun looks into Soobin’s eyes. _Love_ was what he thought he had for Mayumi, but that had ended up being chaos. If that is what is expected out of a relationship, but he wants to be with Soobin instead, is _that_ love? He knows it is, but he is rather sure Soobin won’t believe it.

Soobin, meanwhile, is in shock. All those weeks he had spent in New York, wondering if Taehyun still cared about him, unable to get a hold of him...all those weeks of worrying have been in vain. Taehyun has always been here. Taehyun is here _now._ They have won. Mayumi is gone, and Taehyun is a good bit messed up in the head, sure, but he is _here._ And not only that, he is here solely because he wanted to see Soobin again.

He chokes back the words that are on his mouth, and then, he says them anyway, just as Taehyun opens his own mouth.

“I love you,” they both say, at the same time, in unison.

Then, Soobin’s arms are around Taehyun, pulling him close, and Taehyun’s arms are grabbing for Soobin, and they meet in the middle, lips colliding. Taehyun runs his hand through Soobin’s hair as Soobin flips Taehyun onto his back, not parting the kiss once, pinning him to the bed by pressing on his hip.

“Is this okay?”

“Shut up and kiss me,” Taehyun whispers before kissing Soobin again. This time, Soobin nips at Taehyun’s bottom lip, and they both gasp as their tongues meet, lost in lust and hormones and the memory of last year. Taehyun purrs into the kiss, wrapping his arms around Soobin’s broad shoulders. And Soobin kisses Taehyun back, with every fiber of his being, keeping him safe in his arms. There’s still no motion to make it more than what it is.

But this time, they have all the time in the world.

They kiss for what has to be hours, until the sun rises over NeoNara, until their lips are tired and bruised, and yet Soobin still sneaks small kisses against the side of Taehyun’s mouth. They are tangled in one another, but still chaste, still holding onto each other, not willing to let go. And Soobin leans his head on Taehyun’s shoulder, kissing gently at his neck. 

“When will we get to do this again?” Taehyun whispers. 

Soobin pauses. “I don’t know, I --” And then, Choi Soobin gets an idea. “Taehyun, do you have a job where you live here?”

“Uh, yeah, but all I do is make coffee all day, why?”

“That’s it.” Soobin props himself up over Taehyun. “You should move to New York City. Live with me.”

It takes a couple of seconds for the synapses to connect for Taehyun. “Wait -- _what?!”_

“No, no, no, babe -- hear me out. Look.” Soobin smiles at Taehyun. “You’re scared that Mayumi’s gonna come back for you. So my guess is that you’re not gonna feel safe at home, or at work, or _anywhere_ around here, because she knows all your hangout spots.”

It dawns on Taehyun that _Soobin is right._ Even if Mayumi doesn’t come around, Taehyun will be a spiraling ball of anxiety for _months_ at any place she has ever seen him at. “Yeah…but don’t you live in a dorm?”

“Not anymore! We just moved. That’s the other thing. I’m still doing my senior year, but Yeonjun just graduated, and he’s got a job downtown at some media corporation or something. Since Yeonjun is done with school, we just got our own place together uptown. I’ll be there at least for the next year until I graduate. And, no offense, we could _always_ use an extra roommate to help pay for things. Stuff in New York is _expensive!”_

Taehyun giggles at this thought. “So I just...live with you guys?”

“Yeah, sure! I mean, there are only two bedrooms, but we don’t even have any furniture set up in the living room yet. You could bring your own stuff, set it up however you like. Yeonjun used to go out at night a lot, but now that he has Kai I think there will be less of that. And we could set up partitions or stuff if we needed to, too. That way you can have your own space, and I can have my own space, and Yeonjun can have his own space too.”

The more Soobin talks about this, the more this sounds like a good idea. “But what will Yeonjun say?”

“Pfft! Yeonjun doesn’t care. We wouldn’t even have to put your name on the lease. Mine is only on the lease because the people in charge of my visa need to know where I’m living. And that may change.” Soobin pauses as he realizes Taehyun might not know this. “Taehyun, I’m here for another year. And then, if I can find a job in the city, I’m staying, at least for three more years. After that point, I _have_ to go back to Korea, at least for a little bit.”

“Oh, okay. How long would you be gone? Just enough to, like, prove you’re a Korean citizen again and all that?”

“All Korean men have to be part of the military for a set amount of time. It’s a rule. We’re still at war, technically. I don’t think it counts for you, because you’re adopted. But I would have to go back for two years or so. If I can’t find a job after I graduate, then I would need to do my military time then. But -- it’s not that I don’t _want_ to do the military time, I believe it’s the duty of every Korean man to do so. I just like being in New York City more. And especially now that you’re here, I don’t want to leave just yet.”

“If you left, would you return?”

“Maybe. Let’s not think about that right now.” Soobin dips to kiss Taehyun again, quick. 

“Soobin.”

“Hmm?”

“Are we dating?”

Soobin pauses. “I think it’s too early to say for sure. You technically haven’t even broken up with Mayumi.”

“Yeah, I know, but I think if she’s flinging knives at people, we’re a little done.” They both laugh.

“And yeah, you’ve still got some stuff you gotta work through. But if you move in with me, I’m not just gonna assume that we’re dating. I will give you your space. Anything you need, I will give you. But if all you need is to just be held while you’re going through something, that’s fine, too. And when you’re ready to date me, if you want to be my boyfriend, then I’ll be here for you.”

“So we’re...two friends who kiss. And who love each other.”

“God, I forgot for a second that we said that.” Soobin giggles, pulling Taehyun back into his arms. “I think we’re a little more than friends, huh, Taehyun?”

“More than friends. I like that. Should I change my Facebook status to that? Oh, what is it called, _it’s complicated?”_

“I think _it’s complicated_ is a perfect way to put it.”

“And let’s talk to Yeonjun about the whole moving in thing. Perhaps he can think of a good way to convince my parents.” Taehyun yawns. “When does the food tent open again?”

“At nine. We have…” Soobin checks his still-with-no-service Blackberry. “An hour and a half until it does.”

“Okay.” Taehyun smiles at Soobin. “Kiss me again?”

* * *

“Oh. My. Goodness.” Yeonjun puts his hands together and tries to keep from screaming. “I love it! I love it. You _have_ to do it. Oh my God, I’m already thinking of like _fifteen bajillion_ ways we can put the living room together for you.”

Taehyun laughs, the nervousness showing on his face. “That is, if my parents say yes.”

“You’re an adult. You can make your own decisions!”

“I know…I guess I just don’t have a lot of practice making them.”

“Is it okay if he only stays for a month?” Soobin asks.

Yeonjun smirks at Soobin. _There is no way in hell he is only staying for a month, but I’ll let you entertain that fantasy for a little while longer._ “Yeah, sure. No problemo at all. Ooh, I’m so excited! Now I will have _two_ younger siblings!”

Taehyun paused. “...I’m not a younger sibling?”

“That -- what I mean is, I’m an only child, you know that, right? Soobinie here grew up in Korea with a whole big family, but I was stuck in Jersey with my _eomma_ and _appa_ and myself. And I always wanted a younger brother, but it just never happened. Then I moved in with Soobin at college, and it was like I finally had a little brother. Now that you’re moving in with us, I have _two_ little brothers!”

Taehyun pauses. “You know...I grew up an only child, too. Comes with that whole being adopted because my parents can’t have kids thing. So does this mean you’re my older brother?”

Yeonjun literally has tears in his eyes. “I’m a _hyung_ again! Wait, do you even know what that means?”

“A...what?”

“I’ll take that as you not knowing.” And while Yeonjun waits on his interviewee, he teaches Taehyun about Korea and honorifics and respect for people even a year older than you. Taehyun nods and wishes he had his phone to take notes, but Mayumi has it still, somewhere out in the ether. Instead, he settles with the knowledge that he’ll always be able to ask Yeonjun this, especially if he moves down to the city. 

_The city..._ It sits in Taehyun’s stomach like an entire cage of butterflies. Taehyun can’t really remember the last time he went down to the city, probably for a field trip in elementary school or something. Lots of kids in his high school would take the Amtrak down for a weekend of hanging at Webster Hall and attempting to get drunk. It really hadn’t been Taehyun’s scene, and then Mayumi had forbidden him from going down without her, and she never seemed to have the time. She had always wanted to blow all her money at some Japanese bookstore --

Taehyun jumps as he feels an arm come around his waist. Soobin looks down at him. “Back to reality?”

He blushes. “Yeah.”

“Oh, that’s right.” Yeonjun leans on his hands. “So, are you two official?”

Soobin shakes his head. 

Yeonjun pouts.

“No, I’m okay with it,” Taehyun says. “I…” His mind drifts off to nowhere in particular for a moment, and then he tries to snap back to reality _again._ “I’m a little...I feel like, without Mayumi, I don’t know what I’m doing or where I’m going. She was the only constant in my life for so long. So I need to figure out who I am without Mayumi first. And that’s the big reason why I want to move to the city. But when I feel better, then yes, I’m going to date Soobin.” He leans, casually, into Soobin’s touch, just enough for it to seem like a public display of affection. Even here, he feels jumpy, like she’s going to just...appear. He keeps glancing at the tent’s entrance, trying to see if she’s coming, flinching at the sight of anything pink. And Soobin stays by his side, and Yeonjun eventually gets up to get them all new soda pops.

They sit for a little while longer until River and Ivy join them. They are both dressed simply, in black skinny jeans and matching T-shirts. Yeonjun whips out his trusty tape recorder and shifts into Daniel Choi, Music Blogger of Shampoo Fairy, but for once, neither Taehyun nor Soobin make a motion to move. If they’re around people, they will be safe. Soobin knows that. So he lets Taehyun rest on his shoulder while Daniel interviews River, who is _way_ more accomplished than Soobin would have given him credit for. Turns out he’s in the middle of a tour, and NeoNara is just one of his stops. Ivy is his girlfriend, sure, but she has talent all her own.

After the interview, Yeonjun, Soobin, and Taehyun wait for Waeng to show up, and they all sit in the tent together, playing cards and talking. Taehyun doesn’t yet feel comfortable enough to walk outside of the tent, but he knows he will have to sooner or later. It helps that it’s Sunday, and they have a very specific place they’re headed next. He half wishes he could take a nap, but it’s a bit late for that, and he doesn’t want to miss any second with Soobin or the others. 

“So Mayumi has your phone,” Beomgyu says. “Typical.”

Shelly starts typing something in her phone. “You’re gonna need a new phone and a new phone number, but let’s get you a Twitter account in the meantime.”

Taehyun feels his throat constrict. “I’m not allowed to have social media. I only have Facebook.”

“And I’m guessing Mayumi’s the one who controls that?”

Taehyun nods.

“Well, congratulations, I control your social media now, boo. Is that okay with you?”

“...it might be good. Can you put all the emergency stuff under your name in case she tries to hack it?”

“Of course. I can put you under a private account, so everything is locked. I won’t put you under two factor authentication yet, but when you get your new phone you’ll want that.” Shelly types a million miles a minute on her iPhone, then hands it to Taehyun. “For now, we’ll keep it under wraps, but I’ll reserve the King Solomon name for you. That way, when you’re ready, you can use it as your official Twitter for gig announcements and stuff. And I have friended you with both Waeng and Daniel Choi’s Twitter accounts. So if you want to get a hold of Soobin, you would just need to message Daniel Choi’s account. I assume that’s fine for now.”

“More than fine,” Yeonjun says. “And when you get a new phone number, send it to me, and Soobin can text you.”

Taehyun nods. This is going to take a lot of courage on his part. But he thinks he can make it work. 

They eat _way_ too much food for lunch, and then, Soobin takes one arm, Yeonjun takes the other, and _all_ of them walk together to the Rising Stage. Taehyun feels every eye on him as they walk together in a group. He knows by now that some people have seen the news. Others were part of the lockdown that police and security had put on the RV park while Mayumi was being taken into custody. 

He had always wanted to be popular as King Solomon. Just not like _this._

But the familiar Rising Stage now looms in front of him, and he has friends on either side of him and friends behind him, and he’s going to see friends on stage, and it’s going to be okay. And then he notices familiar faces in the crowd, Waeng fans, most probably. Shelly had probably posted on social media about how River and Ivy had stepped in, nearly saving the day when it had all gone down. 

“Where do you want to go?” Soobin asks, slipping his hand into Taehyun’s. 

Taehyun shrugs. “I don’t want to be right in front, that’s too loud. If that’s okay.”

“That’s more than okay.”

“We’re gonna go closer,” Beomgyu says with a wave of his hand, and he, Shelly, and Kai go a few rows ahead of the others. 

Yeonjun taps on Taehyun’s shoulder. “I’m gonna watch with Kai. Is that okay? Or do you need me?”

“I’ll be okay.” Taehyun looks up at Soobin. “Don’t let go of me. Please.”

“I never will.” Soobin sneaks a kiss against Taehyun’s temple as Yeonjun catches up with the band, and then the foley music fades away. Taehyun looks up to see River, right in front, tuning his guitar quickly. Ivy is right beside him, and she takes a microphone.

“So if you know us at all, you know that my boyfriend is the brooding, silent type on stage! Hi, everybody! I’m Ivy, and welcome to the River Bennington Show! Let me introduce our band before we get started. I’m obviously Ivy, and I play guitar and I also occasionally do that singing thing. Only when River really wants me to.” There are cheers from the crowd at that, and Taehyun even laughs.

“We got Chester on electric, he is obviously _much_ better than me at guitar,” Ivy says, pointing to a man with dreads in the corner. “Luke’s on bass, and Gryffin’s on drums -- she’s the next Amber Riggle, I’ll tell you that! We got Ash on piano when we need her, and Janet’s our DJ for today. And without further ado, I introduce you to the man, the myth, the legend himself -- Mr. River Bennington! Give it up!”

River starts to play, and the pianist comes in with a soft pad underneath. Then, the entire band joins together in a casual groove. There are _way_ more people on stage than with Waeng, but the sound strikes Taehyun as similar. 

_I will be myself until it's time for me to fly_

_And I will walk away from this message on my board_

_I will walk away_

The crowd is really _into it,_ jamming with their hands up, spilling last minute bought beers everywhere, soaking up the sun. For a second, Taehyun swears he sees pink, but instead of panicking, he turns toward Soobin. As long as Soobin is here, he will be safe.

The set sounds kind of like what would happen if Waeng borrowed Taehyun’s turntables and scratched on them nonstop while playing. It’s a unique sound that he hasn’t really heard before, and he footnotes that he should borrow it sometime, as River’s band launches into their next song. Taehyun can’t tell who’s rapping until the crowds part and he can see it’s Janet, behind the turntables. He knows this song, but he can’t remember where he’s heard it before. 

_One thing, I don't know why_

_It doesn't even matter how hard you try_

_Keep that in mind, I designed this rhyme to explain in due time all I know_

_Time is a valuable thing_

_Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings_

_Watch it count down to the end of the day_

_The clock ticks life away, it's so unreal_

_Didn't look out below, watch the time go right out the window_

_Tryin' to hold on, did-didn't even know_

_I wasted it all just to watch you go_

_I kept everything inside and even though I tried, it all fell apart_

_What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when I tried so hard_

The crowd knows this song, so they sing along with the chorus.

_I tried so hard and got so far_

_But in the end it doesn't even matter_

_I had to fall to lose it all_

_But in the end it doesn't even matter_

Taehyun hears a loud _boom,_ and massive pyrotechnics go off behind the band. There are lights on stage as well; it’s just harder to see them in the daytime, but the fireworks really make an impression! He just wishes they weren’t so loud. The strobes go off, and since they’re so close to the band members, everybody can still see them as the music gets _hype, quickly._

River shakes his head so his hair is out of his face, and then he sings.

_This is the first day of my last days --_

The band then _jams,_ hard, for eight beats before the band quiets again for eight, drums and River the only sound.

_I built it up now I take it apart_

_Climbed up real high, now fall down real far_

Another crash of music, then silence.

_No need for me to stay the last thing left I just threw it away_

The crowd is so loud that, even in the quiet parts, it’s hard to hear the nuance.

_I put my faith in god and my trust in you_

_Now there's nothing more fucked up I could do_

Then, the band just goes _crazy,_ Chester whipping his dreads back and forth and Ivy dancing on stage and Ash even jumping up and down at her synthesizer. The lights go up, then down, pulsing in time with the beat. And everybody jumps together, except for Taehyun and Soobin, sticking out like sore thumbs in the crowd. Soobin does nothing but squeeze Taehyun’s hand, reminding him silently that he is here for him, even when neither one of them can hear.

The band plays one more song, and then River actually gets on the mic. “Hope you’re enjoying yourselves. I know I am.” And then the band slows down just a bit, Ash introducing the song on her synth as River sings. 

_I shiver and shake the warm air cold_

_I'm alone on my own_

_In every mistake I dig this hole_

_Through my skin and bones_

_It's harder starting over than never to have changed_

_With blackbirds following me, I'm digging out my grave_

_They close in, swallowing me_

_The pain, it comes in waves_

_I'm getting back what I gave_

Soobin lets go of Taehyun’s hand, and Taehyun looks to his left before Soobin puts his hands on Taehyun’s shoulders. Then, he covers Taehyun’s ears with his hands again, just like he did at the Waeng show a year ago. Taehyun hadn’t realized it, but the noise was making him nauseous, adding to the fear of Mayumi possibly being anywhere and everywhere all at once. 

“Thank you,” he whispers as the band continues, flying through songs at a crazy pace, smashing at least one guitar, and Janet pulling out a T-shirt cannon and firing into the crowd a couple of times. As the band winds down, River and Ivy stand side by side. The band jumps into a new song, and Ivy is the one who starts rapping. Who knew this white girl could spit?

_Nah, you don't know me_

_Lightning above and a fire below me_

_You can not catch me, can not hold me_

_You can not stop, much less control me_

_When it rains, it pours_

_When the floodgates open, brace your shores_

_That pressure don't care, it breaks your doors_

_Say it's all you can take, better take some more_

_'Cause I know what it's like to test fate_

_Had my shoulders pressed with that weight_

_Stood up strong in spite of that hate_

_The night gets darkest right before dawn_

_What don't kill you makes you more strong_

_And I've been waiting for it so long_

River sings in response, and the crowd joins him.

_The nights go on, waiting for a light that never comes_

_I chase the sun, waiting for a light that never comes_

It really feels like everybody is in sync now, like the band has become one with the crowd. Taehyun wonders if he could ever get there, though he’s only played two shows of merit in his entire lifetime. And then, he smiles. _I had an audience of one, once, and I’m in sync with him now...I hope._ He puts his hands on top of Soobin’s, holding them loosely, reminding him that while Soobin is here for him, he is also here for Soobin. 

The crowd is so loud as River and Ivy finish. River tries to reintroduce the band one last time, but nobody can hear him. They have no choice to leave the stage, their set formally finished. A few people leave, but the majority of the festival goers stay in the audience area, still hyped up. Some of them are still screaming for an encore. 

“I want an encore,” Taehyun whispers, “someday.”

He hadn’t been expecting Soobin to hear, but he can hear the brush of Soobin’s voice through his fingers. “You’ll get your encore. I promise.” Then, suddenly, River and the band are back on stage, and Janet starts up a new song on the turntables and the crowd goes _wild_ again and Taehyun feels Soobin press on his ears again. 

He feels Soobin turn him away from the stage, and as the first notes of the song are sung, Soobin kisses Taehyun, hands still on Taehyun’s ears, keeping him safe, warm, in a place where he belongs, where he’s _loved._ They still haven’t said those three words again, saving them for a rainy day, when they’ll need them next, when they’re official and when Taehyun has caught up to Soobin. But it doesn’t make them any less true. 

_Take everything from the inside and throw it all away_

_'Cause I swear for the last time, I won't trust myself with you_

Taehyun giggles as Soobin pulls away. “What?” he mouths, and then he leans so Taehyun can talk in his ear. 

“The lyrics don’t match us at all.”

Soobin laughs in agreement, and they stay that way through a long encore set, with Soobin covering Taehyun’s ears, watching side by side. The band plays a few more songs, engaging an audience that refuses to leave this NeoNara. But for once, Taehyun doesn’t mind it ending. He has a life to look forward to for once. 

_Today, we stood on the wall_

_We laughed at the sun, we laughed at the guns, we laughed at it all_

_And when they, they told us to go_

_We paid them no mind, like every other time_

_But little did we know_

This last song is softer, and Taehyun is able to pay more attention to the lyrics as River sings alone, guitar pushed aside.

_Today, I looked for a sign with flames in my hands_

_A line in the sand between yours and mine_

_And it came like fire from below_

_Your greed led the call, my flag had to fall_

_But little did you know_

Taehyun feels another hand on his shoulder as the band starts to _play_ again. He turns, expecting Yeonjun or Beomgyu.

He is _not_ expecting his dad. 

“Dad!” he yells, backing away from Soobin and simultaneously freeing himself from his makeshift noise cancelling devices. “What are you doing here?”

“They let us in,” Roger says, and Melinda is right behind him. “You kids having fun?”

“This reminds me of when we went to see Led Zeppelin,” Melinda says, though Taehyun doesn’t catch most of it. “Look at those kids. They’re really working hard.”

“Moooooooooom.” Taehyun rolls his eyes, then turns back to the stage as River and his band finish their concert. There are less people now, but the crowd still cheers as both Ivy and River wave, then bow. Ivy starts talking on the mic about tour merchandise and CDs, but Taehyun tunes them out. 

“We gonna take off now?” his mom asks. “Dad’s gonna drive the RV, and I’ll take you home in the car.”

“Okay. Can I have like five minutes with my friends, please?”

“Sure, honey, we’ll wait for you.”

“Actually.” Now that the music has finished, Taehyun can talk to Soobin again. “Can we get a picture of us, all together? I know it sounds stupid, but --”

“Perfect,” Soobin says. “Do you have a camera?”

“No, but my dad has a smartphone.” They grab the others from the front of the crowd, where they had stood the entire time. Kai can’t stop talking about how cool the band looked and how he wants to try and cover some of their songs. Beomgyu is quiet, which is a good thing. Silence from Choi Beomgyu is a compliment. And Shelly thinks the picture idea is kind of hokey, but Beomgyu makes her go along with it, and soon the six of them are all bunched together, flashing peace signs and other silly things.

Taehyun has to let go of Soobin’s hand for now. His parents can’t yet figure out that he wants to date another boy. But he hopes they’ll understand someday. 

Then, his parents are beckoning to him, wanting him to go with them. Taehyun looks back at Beomgyu and Shelly and Kai, and Yeonjun, his friends who helped him through so much this weekend. It wasn’t the weekend he had wanted, and it hadn’t gone the way he had planned. But he was finally free. 

He takes Soobin’s hand for one second. He can’t kiss him here. Not when his parents are watching. But he leans up, whispering into his ear, quickly.

“I meant it when I said I loved you.”

And then, he squeezes Soobin’s hand and runs off.

Soobin’s face is surprised for a moment, but then he smiles, shoving the secret aside for a moment. Then, he rejoins Yeonjun and the others; they have to pack their things, the Waeng trailer needs driven back downstate, and Yeonjun and Soobin need to take their train ride back to the city. 

“Hey,” Yeonjun says as they walk back to the RV, light years away from Taehyun’s RV.

“Mmhmm?”

“You miss him already.”

“...yeah. I gotta give him space, though.”

Yeonjun waves his phone at Soobin. “Not anymore.”

Taehyun helps his parents clean up the RV, and then, he walks to the parking lot with his mother, telling her about the last day of the festival. Nobody has heard an update about Mayumi yet, but Melinda has always understood that Mary Barnett wasn’t right for her son. So she affirms that he is safe at home, and Taehyun agrees, but does not tell his mom about his moving plans yet. Those can wait until the morning, when breakfast is made and the day is new. 

He sits in the passenger seat as they drive the very short distance home. Somewhere, across the city, Soobin is taking a train home to New York. He looks down at his fingers, imagining Soobin’s fingers in between them. He’s back to _someday,_ but this _someday_ is much more hopeful than previous _somedays._

It takes him all the way until he gets home, but he boots up his dad’s old work computer, connecting it to the Internet. He loads Twitter, then logs in with the information Shelly had given him. His new King Solomon Twitter account, private locked, shows up on the screen. And a direct message is already waiting for him. He clicks on the icon; it says it is from Daniel Choi, but Taehyun knows better.

_Hi Taehyun. It’s Soobin. Miss me yet?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I mention this over on Wattpad, but River and Ivy are characters from another story. I got permission before using them, and it was a lot of fun to integrate them into this story. Their origin story is printed only on Wattpad if you're curious.
> 
> I have a couple of oneshots that I really want to write before I return to this, and grad school is kicking my butt more than I thought it would. But rest assured I will continue writing, either plugging away at this or one of my other stories. There's a lot behind the scenes that you haven't seen yet. And don't assume we have a happy ending yet! Mayumi might be taken care of, but she is the least of our problems as you will soon see. I hope to see all of you soon in a new update.


	8. 2014-2015: Intermission

True to his nature, Taehyun waits until the next day. And then, on Monday, at lunch, he asks his parents.

“Move? To the city?” Roger looks at Taehyun like he has ketchup smeared on his face. “Are you sure about this?”

“It’s just, I was invited to by some friends, to kind of get away from here for a while. And...I know it’s expensive, but --”

“Terry, you can go visit them any time you want. You have a car. You can go down for the weekend. Just because they helped you this past weekend doesn’t mean they’re your saviors.”

Taehyun looks at his peas. His mom speaks. “Terry, I know you’ve been through a lot this weekend, but let’s not make any rash decisions, okay? These are nice people, but you just met them.”

“I met them last year, Mom.” Taehyun sits on his hands, unable to keep them busy. “They were all there when Mayu -- when Mary wasn’t there. You know how she was gonna go with me and stuff, and then had to move into Sage instead? I met them all, and now they’ve promoted my music all year long. Those are friends. I don’t think either of you understand what a pain Mary was. She didn’t even let me have my own passwords --”

“Terry, how many times do I have to tell you?” Roger interrupts. “She was your girlfriend. You didn’t control her. So she went out of control. Yes, destroying the RV was a bit much, and I’m glad we never have to deal with that again. But if you had kept her in line from the start, maybe none of this would have happened.”

“Roger.” Even Melinda knows that was uncalled for. “You don’t control me.”

“That’s because I’ve never  _ had  _ to control you.”

And Melinda stares back, mouth open. “How dare you?! Really? You stay all nice in front of Terry’s new friends and then you go and tell him this is all his fault?”

“I am sitting right here,” Taehyun mutters, scratching the side of his head. Something doesn’t feel right.

“I’m just saying that it makes more sense for him to stay right here, and to keep working at his job and apply to college and get a new girlfriend, hopefully someone who’s softer. What about Elyse Joy? She’s always been the sweetest girl at church, Terry, why don’t you like her?”

Taehyun can’t tell his adopted parents that he’s gay. Not yet. “I just...don’t?” he says with a shrug. “I liked Mary, I guess.”

“Our conversation is not done,  _ Roger,”  _ Melinda says, shoving a mouthful of peas in her mouth. 

“Neither is ours. Dad, I need to get out of here for a while. Mary’s an absolute psycho, and from what my friends are saying, I might be messed up in the head over it. I think I need therapy, and maybe some --”

“No, you don’t, son. You need to man up and get over it.”

Taehyun stands up from the lunch table. “I am a man, too. I may not be the man you want me to be, but I’m still a man. And I will respect you, but I deserve some respect, too. I let Mary walk all over me. I’m not gonna let my dad do the same thing. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to work, and hopefully I will come home and this will all be smoothed over.” And he leaves the peas sitting on the table, grabs the car keys, and goes to his job.

“Well done, Roger,” Melinda sneers as she cleans up.

“He needed to keep a tight leash on her.”

“I thought one of the things you  _ liked  _ about me was that I couldn’t be kept on a leash. What about that girl you met at the Zeppelin concert all those years ago? What about the woman who moved mountains for Hurricane Katrina relief at church? Whose bright idea was it to adopt a sweet little boy from Korea? Mine, that’s who. And you’ve just sat back and let me do what I want, because you thought all of my ideas were brilliant. And yeah, I’m scared, but Terry’s 19. He  _ is  _ an adult.” Melinda pauses. “And I never did like that Mary girl. It wasn’t just what the people at church said. She was always sweet to us, but it always came off as fake. You know I’ve been saying that.”

Roger pouts. “I know.”

“So what if Terry wants to move to the city for a while? These boys seem nice, and it’ll be something different than what he’s always done here. Maybe he’ll come up with a better life plan while he’s down there.”

“But Melinda, it’s expensive, and it’s not safe down there.”

Melinda opens the fridge and grabs a bottle of orange Vitamin Water, uncapping the top. “Well, I think this weekend proved that Albany isn’t safe for Terry, either.” And she drinks the whole thing in one go.

When Taehyun gets home from his coffee shop gig, his parents are sitting at the table again, pizza has been ordered, and they go over details. They’re not opposed to the idea of him moving, but they want to see the area where Taehyun will be living before they give the go-ahead. Heck, not even Taehyun has seen the area where he might be living, so he doesn’t disagree there. He doesn’t think Yeonjun and Soobin would live near crooks and crazies, but standards might be different in New York. 

So it is that Soobin doesn’t have to wait another year to see Taehyun again -- he only has to wait three weeks tops. Roger and Melinda pick a nice Saturday and drive Taehyun down the expressway. Their trip takes them three hours and into New Jersey, before they slow down and drive over a  _ huge  _ bridge to Manhattan. Taehyun can see the city in the distance, massive skyscrapers jutting out over the blue sky. He’s seen pictures of the city countless times before, but it feels different being here. 

He could be living here in a short while.

They drive over the bridge and then through a neighborhood that is nothing like they’re expecting. Short buildings, all five stories high, crowd the horizon, each a similar looking version of the next, old with metal fire escapes and brick facades. Crowds of people dash across intersections. The buildings host storefronts that Taehyun has never heard of before, except for McDonalds. Street vendors sell food. At least one kid has opened up a fire hydrant.

“I think we want to go right, Roger,” Melinda argues in the front seat.

“The GPS is saying go straight, why would I want to go right?” 

Taehyun rolls his eyes, but keeps his mouth shut, as they travel onward. Soon, they are pulling into a parking garage, and Yeonjun and Soobin are waiting for them outside. They  _ both  _ give Taehyun a quick hug, which Taehyun relishes as much as he can but knows he can’t hold onto forever. Then, all five of them walk together, through the streets and the heat and the bachata and the graffiti art, up a main drag that is way busier than Albany ever was. Taehyun stays silent as he watches the passersby, listens to the music playing from car stereos, feels the air conditioning coming out of open storefronts. 

It’s a world away from Albany.

“People give Washington Heights all this bad reputation,” Yeonjun explains as the five of them walk together. “Say it’s where the Bloods and the Crips hang out, loud parties all night, drinking and debauchery, all that. Inwood is like the PG version of that. You get all of the Hispanic flavor, none of the raunchiness. There’s a daycare on every street corner. The danger stays thirty street blocks south of here, and all of the families live in this neighborhood instead.”

“And have either of you kids experienced any problems since moving up here?” Roger asks.

Yeonjun shakes his head as they cross another main street, then walk down Broadway for a bit. They then cross at a light and go to a slightly newer looking building. “We’ve been here three months tops, but nope. General consensus is anything west of Broadway is more upper class, while east of Broadway is working families.”

Yeonjun unlocks the front door, and then they go up a flight of stairs before he unlocks the door to apartment 304. It opens up to a  _ very  _ small kitchen on the right, shallow enough to bake in but not eat, and an empty room in front of them. Further back are two stairs, and then there is another room, with no door, completely empty. Yeonjun skips into it. “So this is technically the living room, but I was thinking this could be where Taehyun stays. We don’t have any living room furniture yet, and we could put a couch in the foyer instead if we really wanted to. Neither one of us eat at a dinner table, we usually just eat in our rooms.”

Taehyun walks through the foyer and down the two stairs to the living room. It’s  _ very  _ spacious, but then again, it’s supposed to be a living room. It has hardwood floors, with an old heater and two windows on the one wall. “Since it’s just us three and we don’t really have guests over,” Yeonjun continues, “we could put up a curtain or something if that will help.”

“Oh, this is  _ way  _ more space than we thought!” Melinda says as she steps into the space. “I like this, Terry.”

_ “Mom.” _

“Okay, okay. Tay-hun. Rhymes with fun. I’m trying, sweetie.”

“I know.”

There’s a small door to the right, just before the living room, that leads to a short hallway. The first door on the right is Soobin’s, a small bedroom. The one across from Taehyun is a bathroom, and the one on the left is Yeonjun’s bedroom. “There aren’t any closets in the living room, but there is  _ plenty  _ of closet space in the apartment,” Yeonjun says, continuing to sell the apartment. “New York City builds up, not out.”

“I can see that,” Roger says. 

They walk through the apartment again, then Yeonjun and Soobin take them to a small coffee shop a few blocks down the way. Taehyun sits quietly the entire time while Roger and Melinda  _ drill  _ Yeonjun (who ends up going by Daniel) and Soobin about the area, expenses, jobs, safety, subway lines, and the like. While neither of Taehyun’s parents have lived in the city before, both are acutely aware of what living in the city means and how hard it can be. After all, if you can make it in NYC, you can make it anywhere...but it is a hard standard to live up to.

Melinda holds Roger back as all five walk back to the car garage, letting Daniel and Terry and Soo-bean go ahead of them. She watches how the boys interact with each other. She remembers how her sweet Terry Rhodes had never had many friends in high school, and how his girlfriend seemed like a nice girl, but she’d taken up all of his time and energy. This is the first time she’s ever seen him hang out with more than one person like this, and besides...neither one is a girl whom he could fall for.

She waits until they get home, and then she talks to Roger, and they set Taehyun up to move to the city on October 1st.

Instead of taking a U-Haul, they bring the camper down, packing it full of boxes and Taehyun’s old bed. When they park out front of Taehyun’s new building, it’s not just Yeonjun and Soobin who are there -- Beomgyu, Kai, Shelly, and Angel are there as well, ready to help move in. They all move swiftly, and Shelly throws some new bedsheets on Taehyun’s bed for good measure. Angel presents a small desk for Taehyun’s new computer -- “when you get one, of course” -- and the foyer is lined with boxes that Taehyun will be able to unpack in the coming days.

Before his parents leave, Roger hands Taehyun a box. “Open this when we leave, and let us know what you think of it.” And when Taehyun opens it, it is a brand new Galaxy smartphone, with a brand new phone number attached to it.

Over the next few months, Taehyun learns a  _ lot  _ of things about New York City. He learns that the trains never come on time, and trying to plan your entire day around them is impossible. He learns that the Target across the river is the best place to buy groceries, and to take a backpack with him because ten blocks is a  _ long  _ way to haul canned goods. He learns that Walmart has no place in the five boroughs, that bodega sandwiches are  _ sinful  _ in how good they taste, and if he stays quiet, the walls might actually talk, telling stories of previous inhabitants and times gone by. 

He also learns a few things about Yeonjun. He learns that Yeonjun snores; that he has this habit of walking around the apartment without a shirt on at all times; that he loves scary movies and he especially loves blasting scary movies at three in the morning; that he really wants a dog and he asks Soobin about this at least once a week. He learns that Yeonjun loves Kai Huening with all of his heart and soul. He  _ also  _ learns that the wall between his room and Yeonjun’s is  _ very  _ thin, and he should do his best not to listen into Yeonjun and Kai’s late night phone calls. 

Taehyun also  _ really  _ learns about Soobin. He learns that Soobin can’t hold a job because he’s on a student visa, and so his parents send him an allowance per semester, and this is why Yeonjun ends up paying for most of their meals out. Yeonjun also pays for Soobin’s copious supply of almond milk; there are at least three cartons in the fridge at all times. He learns that, if it’s Soobin’s turn to clean the apartment, he will start blasting Lady Gaga and dance all through the apartment in his socks, and it’s one of the most adorable things Taehyun has ever seen. And he learns that Darling Coffee, that shop they had gone to with his parents, is Soobin’s  _ favorite  _ place to go because they have a  _ wide  _ variety of pastries and breads made every day. Soobin likes it so much that Taehyun marches in one day and asks if they’re hiring, and since he has barista experience, they hire him on the back line. It’s not a lot of hours, but it gives him some extra money while his parents help pay his rent to start. 

And most importantly, Taehyun learns about himself. He’s never lived “on his own” before. Sure, he’s living with Yeonjun and Soobin, but his parents aren’t here, and neither is Mayumi. For the first week, he gets on the subway and goes somewhere new. He goes to Times Square and stands in the center of the universe. He takes the wrong train to Queens, and he tries a gyro for the first time. He walks to Dyckman Street and learns it’s pronounced “dyke,” not “dick.” He takes the A train to the end of the line and literally ends up in no man’s land, and stays on the train all the way back. 

He learns that, no matter how many times Yeonjun tries to feed him  _ kimchi _ , he will always prefer  _ kkakdugi.  _ That he prefers to wake up earlier than either Yeonjun or Soobin, and he will sometimes leave, go for a run in Isham Park, and come back, and they will both still be asleep. He learns that he prefers his room nice and tidy, and that he wishes he could have clean clothes all the time, but the laundromat is two street blocks down and laundry is  _ heavy.  _ And when he starts his online therapy, he learns that he wants to start keeping a journal, to document his progress. Eventually, he learns that the sounds outside are just trains and passersby, that the knocking outside is not Mayumi looking for him, that the breeze outside his window is not her climbing up to the third floor fire escape outside Yeonjun’s room.

He learns that he will eventually be able to breathe easy. But it will take time. 

Every once in a while, Soobin will invite Taehyun to watch a movie on his laptop, and they will cuddle together. Or sometimes Taehyun will waltz into Soobin’s room after a particularly long therapy session, and they will talk it out, both lounging on the bed, holding hands. But Soobin has seemingly left his hands-on activities at NeoNara. Two months after Taehyun moves in, they haven’t even kissed.

And then Soobin’s birthday happens. 

Since Taehyun isn’t 21 yet, Yeonjun schedules a night at one of the many karaoke lounges in Koreatown. He invites Waeng, and Kai and Beomgyu can’t come down, but Shelly is basically moved into Angel’s place at this point anyway, so they come out. The five of them get a room, and Taehyun’s wrist is tagged with an “under 21” wristband. Taehyun has DJ’d karaoke parties before, but he’s never been to a karaoke box. They’re all in a small room with a microphone and a TV, and Yeonjun has grabbed a tambourine and is dancing with it, already drunk off a pregame.

Soobin starts busting out some Korean song that Taehyun doesn’t know at all. Then Shelly sings Britney Spears, and everybody sings along. Angel puts on an entire round of songs that she grew up with, and she gives quite the performance. And when Yeonjun overdoes it again, Soobin drags him to the bathroom.

“This is my repentance for throwing up on your shoes at NeoNara,” he says as he leaves Yeonjun to a stall, cracking open the door and waiting in the hallway. Yeonjun will be fine -- he just needs someone to let anybody know the reason for the smell. 

Soobin has had a couple of drinks tonight. He’s nowhere near drunk, fully in control of his actions. Instead, he is operating off of a light buzz that colors everything and gives it a certain sparkle. So when Taehyun comes around the corner, wondering where Soobin went, all Soobin can see is the most beautiful human in the world, with bangs that need to be trimmed, bright brown eyes, and the cutest blue sweater on.

He thinks how good it would be to kiss him.

And so he does. 

Taehyun has little time to prepare before Soobin’s lips are on his in the hallway, pulling him close. His brain flutters a bit -- but no, this isn’t Mayumi, this is Soobin, he  _ likes  _ this. And so he closes his eyes, kisses Soobin back, just a bit. Then, he puts his hand on Soobin’s shoulder and pulls away. “Soobin?”

“Mmn?”

“Are you drunk?”

“No, just...you were pretty.”

Taehyun giggles. It sounds like music to Soobin, music that Taehyun hasn’t played in so long because his equipment was broken by his ex. “I thought we weren’t gonna do this right now.”

“I’m sorry.” Soobin puts his hands on Taehyun’s shoulders. “You said you wanted space, and I’m giving space, and that was a mistake. I’ll go back to being patient for you. Forgive me?”

Taehyun had thought that kissing Soobin would hurt more. That it would just remind him of Mayumi, back at NeoNara. But they’re not at NeoNara -- they’re on 33rd between 5th and 6th, spitting distance from the world famous Macy’s, two hundred miles and a lifetime away from Mayumi. As far as Taehyun knows, Mayumi is still being held in prison for charges he’s not even sure of -- his parents promised to update Yeonjun, not him, with details...details Taehyun might not need to know. 

He decides not to forgive Soobin.

Soobin nearly pushes Taehyun away when Taehyun kisses him back, but then their eyes meet. The spark that ignites is brighter than the hallway they are standing in, and their lips meld together to the tune of  _ We Are The Champions  _ and whatever some other dude is warbling down the hallway. Taehyun wraps his arms around Soobin’s shoulders. Soobin pulls Taehyun in by the waist, going easy on him, letting Taehyun take control.

And then he considers Taehyun might need to  _ know  _ he has control. “Hey,” he whispers, breaking the kiss.

“I was enjoying that --”

“I know. I just -- I don’t want to get on your bad side, you know? So tell me. What are you cool with, right now? If you just want me to kiss you like this, I’m okay with that. Doesn’t mean we have to be dating or anything. Doesn’t even mean it’s a birthday present for me. I want you to kiss me because  _ you  _ want to kiss me, Taehyun.”

Taehyun nods. “I am. I actually think I am. This is an awful lot of talking for a kiss.”

“Didn’t your therapist say understanding consent is important in relationships?”

“Okay, okay, okay,” Taehyun giggles as Soobin kisses him again, and they kiss, forgetting about Yeonjun in the bathroom and Shelly and Angel singing down the hall, probably wondering where the hell they are. And as Soobin slips his tongue into Taehyun’s mouth, Taehyun realizes that it’s Soobin, not Mayumi. It could  _ never  _ be Mayumi. He feels goosebumps along his arms, and the butterflies that were in his stomach catch fire. This is  _ definitely  _ not Mayumi, because he never felt this way about her -- and he wonders to himself,  _ is he turned on? What even is the definition of that?? _

Soobin pushes Taehyun up against the padded wall, covered with noise cancelling foam. “This okay?”

“Yeah.” Taehyun looks up at Soobin. “You’re -- you’re okay.” And then, he takes a deep breath. “I want to try something new.”

Soobin’s mind goes blank for a moment. “New?”

“Yeah. Uh -- I don’t know what, but I want you to do more than just kiss me. I mean! -- Aargh. We’re still in a hallway, and I don’t even know if I want that stuff yet --” Taehyun hides his face. “This was a much better idea in my head.”

“So you want something more than just me kissing you, but you obviously don’t want me to pick you up and have sex with you in an empty karaoke room.”

Taehyun’s eyes go  _ wide.  _ “No no no no no no no no. Not ready for that yet. How does that even HAPPEN?”

“I don’t know?! You’re asking me, who’s never done this before!!” And they both laugh, tension broken. Then, “How about I kiss you?”

“Okay.” They kiss, briefly, and then Soobin kisses Taehyun’s nose. 

“Was that okay?”

“Are you seriously going to ask for every little thing?”

“Probably? What about a cheek kiss? Is that too much?”

“Oh, my God, Soobin, this is decidedly the most unsexy thing I have ever been through in my life, and I dated a girl for years.”

Soobin lowers his lips to Taehyun’s neck. “Here?”

And Taehyun stops. He weighs the pros and cons, checks in with how he is feeling, then nods. “Okay. Yeah, I’m cool with this. I give consent for this.”

And sure enough, when Soobin’s lips meet Taehyun’s neck, it’s worlds different than when Mayumi once held him down. Taehyun feels his voice act on its own, whimpering as Soobin continues, trailing kisses up his jaw line. He hits a particularly sensitive spot under Taehyun’s ear and stops when Taehyun gasps.

“Still okay?”

“Yeah, just -- this -- I’ve never felt this way before. Nobody’s ever made me feel…”

“You should trust your own feelings. Isn’t that what your therapist said?”

“I think my therapist said that in reference to being scared and trusting my gut.”

“Well, trust your gut. What’s it saying now?”

Taehyun gulps. “It wants you to kiss me, right there, hard enough that everybody else knows.”

Soobin pauses. “Do you know what you’re saying?”

“Look, Mayumi would mark up my neck like it was nothing --” Taehyun inhales as Soobin gently shoves him further into the wall, finding the exact spot on his neck that he likes, then kissing it softly. And then, he nips at Taehyun’s neck before sucking lightly on it, running his tongue over the spot. Taehyun’s left hand flies to his mouth, and he bites his finger to keep from alerting the  _ entire karaoke lounge  _ of what’s happening. 

“Harder, Soobin. That won’t do anything.” And so Soobin complies, sucking harder to the point where he is nearly biting Taehyun’s neck. And then, he repeats the process a bit lower, then lower, then lower still. And Taehyun holds on for dear life, because this feels like an  _ actual  _ roller coaster ride. He has been so used to holding his breath, to feeling like he’s going to throw up the entire time -- sometimes throwing up anyway -- that he never fully understood any of this could be enjoyable. Other people, feelings, emotions, even hormones -- all of these are things that people are not supposed to be afraid of. And through communication and honesty, they are even things that can be enjoyed in the proper context. 

And this feels proper. 

Proper enough that, when they  _ do  _ return to the karaoke box, Angel starts snickering immediately, and Shelly flat out laughs. Taehyun blushes through the rest of the night, and when he finally gets home to a bathroom with some actual lighting, there are four well-sized marks on his neck. At first, he’s embarrassed, but then, he’s kind of proud of himself. This isn’t something he would have been able to do at NeoNara, and here he is, doing it.

Progress.

The next week, it snows in Inwood, and the group of three roommates walks down the street and buys a short Christmas tree from the flower vendor on the street corner. He doesn’t speak any English, but Yeonjun speaks enough Spanish to do business with him -- “it comes with being in the city,” he explains -- and they take it home and decorate it the best they can with ornaments from Target. Yeonjun never celebrated Christmas growing up; his parents don’t give gifts until Seollal, which he tells Taehyun and Soobin they are both invited to. “ _ Eomma  _ will get you to wear a  _ hanbok,  _ if you want, since we’re a pretty similar size. Soobin has one or two in storage.”

“You could try one of mine on, if you want,” Soobin says.

Taehyun thinks it over. “I want to see you try it on, first,” he says. “Does it come with one of those silly hats?”

“First off, they’re not silly, they are a mark of great prestige,” Yeonjun says. “Respect your culture.”

“I am TRYING, okay?”

“Respect your culture, Terry Rhodes,” and then, “do you even have a middle name?”

“Nope.” They all laugh at that, and then Soobin changes into his  _ hanbok  _ for good measure. Taehyun tries his hardest not to laugh when Soobin comes out -- he first thinks it looks like some kind of a Halloween costume, like he’s in a big green dress. He has to keep reminding himself that this is the national clothing of his people, and he does his best to wrap his mind around that. 

“Okay, fine, I’ll try one on, I might as well.” Soobin leads Taehyun back to his room, where he pulls out a bunch of blue fabric. Taehyun stands in the middle and holds out his arms. “How much do I need to strip for you?”

“Uh…” Soobin’s brain breaks enough that he doesn’t have an answer, so Taehyun kicks him out of his own room and lets him return when he’s in a white t-shirt and  _ long  _ boxers. Soobin does his best to keep his mind straight from there and works his magic, helping Taehyun step into the  _ baji  _ and tying all of the knots for him. The under layer goes first, then the vest, then the long  _ durumagi  _ layer colored in blue. “I really don’t want you to be nervous in this,” Soobin says, focusing on pressing the front of the garment. “I haven’t wanted to shove any of this on you, but I only want you to do what you’re comfortable with.”

And Taehyun takes a deep breath. In a different world, this would have been something he would have worn all the time. He would have worn it during his first hundred days celebration, probably sometimes as a kid for New Years, for official ceremonies and things like that. He’s been relegated to a button up shirt and slacks in a white person’s world. What would people think if he wore this to a fancy event? 

“How do you feel?”

“...kind of silly? I’m not used to it.”

“Come out to the foyer.” And Soobin in his green  _ hanbok  _ leads Taehyun in his blue  _ hanbok  _ out into the foyer, and Yeonjun does not laugh at  _ all _ , and Taehyun checks his appearance in the mirror. It does look odd when paired next to Western clothing, which is what he’s used to. But it doesn’t feel totally foreign. There’s even something right about it, though Taehyun doesn’t know exactly what. 

“I think I could wear this,” he says. “But not in public. Maybe just at Yeonjun’s house in Jersey.”

“Yuck, Jersey,” Yeonjun says, and they all laugh. 

Christmas in New York City is unlike anything in the world. In place of people decorating their houses, every department store downtown is decked out in Christmas finery. Hanukkah menorahs shine from every window. The Times Square billboards are all red and green colored, and Christmas carols filter through the air. Every subway car has advertisements for the Rockettes. It feels like a wonderful, magical time of the year. 

But first for Taehyun comes another important day: a day his parents always called  _ Gotcha Day.  _ December 18th is the day when the forms were finalized and the court order went through, stating that Roger and Melinda Rhodes were Terry’s official parents. It has always been an important day for Terry and his parents, and they have always celebrated by going out for dinner as a family. Nowadays Taehyun can’t determine if the whole  _ Gotcha Day  _ thing is important to  _ him _ , or to the Terry Rhodes that once existed. And the way it sounds now is weird to him, like his parents “got” him from his parents in Korea, like he was stolen away somehow. He had never thought about that before.

This year, Roger and Melinda come down from Albany to have dinner with Taehyun in Inwood. And as they eat, they talk about what they have been learning. Taehyun shows his parents a picture that Soobin took of them in their  _ hanbok.  _ Both Roger and Melinda finally start calling their son by his real name, not slipping up even once with the nickname they had once given him. It doesn’t seem perfect, but it seems like a start to something new. Taehyun wants to learn about the world he left behind, but he’s also too comfortable in the world he’s inhabited. So he and his parents decide to make up the rules as they go along; whatever Taehyun is comfortable with, that is what they will do. 

“I don’t want it to seem like my new Korean friends are stealing me away from you,” Taehyun says. 

“They’re not, sweetie,” Melinda says with a smile. “No matter what happens, we are blessed to have had you in our lives, one way or another.”

The next week is Christmas. Yeonjun is gone all day -- Kai comes down from Valhalla and they spend all day in Bryant Park, nearly recreating the date they had last year at the shops and ice rink. This time, they kiss every chance they get, and they plan to come home that night with way too many overpriced knickknacks from the stalls.

Soobin takes Taehyun out as well, going to dinner before taking a long walk around the neighborhood. Taehyun complains a couple of times about how  _ cold  _ it is, wrapping his arm around Soobin’s, and has no clue why Soobin is making him  _ suffer  _ so. They eventually make it back to the apartment, and Taehyun skips into his room to get into the heat as soon as possible before he stops cold. Taehyun’s itty bitty desk has been replaced with a massive setup from IKEA that takes up an entire corner. Half of the desk is taken up by a brand new set of DJ decks, complete with two new faders and an entire pile of cords. The other half has not only a new laptop, but a desktop monitor with a tower on the floor. Two pairs of headphones and a desk chair complete the setup.

The entire picture blurs under Taehyun’s tears. 

“Merry Christmas,” he hears, and when he turns, Beomgyu, Shelly, and Angel are all standing there. Soobin peers out from behind Shelly with a smile, and they all end up in a teary group hug.

A week later, everybody heads up to Beomgyu’s parents’ place for a New Years party and sleepover. Taehyun lets Soobin kiss him at midnight, but only once, and it has to be respectable. The  _ real  _ surprise is when a woman with short hair and fatigues walks in, and Beomgyu jumps at her with the energy Kai reserves for penguins. It appears Tatiana is home for a while -- long enough, she confirms, that she might be able to go to next year’s NeoNara.

The new year brings more news: Mary Barnett’s arrangement and trial have been proceeding as scheduled in Albany, a world away. Attacking a police officer is a felony, and she has finally been sentenced: eighteen months in prison, followed by five years of probation, with a mental health evaluation. Since Taehyun’s parents had already put in for a restraining order against Mayumi, he was advised both by the police and his therapist not to participate in the trial. Instead, Roger, Yeonjun, River and Ivy had stood as witnesses, along with Officer Jackson and the other police officer on duty that day. The judge hadn’t even needed Terry Rhodes to stand as a witness at all, which his parents were thankful for. 

But the combination of these means that Taehyun never has to see Mayumi again. And if he does, the court of law will uphold their conviction, and she will not be permitted to stay. 

“Are you going to be okay?” Soobin asks Taehyun, laying on his bed, after the tears have been shed and Soobin has wiped them all away. And Taehyun nods, slowly, and Soobin wonders if  _ now  _ is a good time. But he holds back, sticking to his original plan. Because a month later is Taehyun’s birthday, and Taehyun has already told Soobin a hundred times that Mayumi has hijacked his last four or five birthdays. Soobin wants this one to be special.

Taehyun begins work again on his King Solomon branding. Shelly helps him set up a website, linking all of his social media profiles together in one place. He hasn’t worked on anything since his last show at NeoNara. Mayumi had busted his computer so bad that the hard drive had been fractured; nothing could be recovered except for the Blue Orangeade remix he had made, which Shelly had had a copy of. He obviously has a couple of finished remixes posted to SoundCloud, but the sourcefiles are gone forever.

Soobin starts to see Taehyun less and less as he spends most of his time at his computers, focusing on new tracks, megamixes, isolating vocals and trying out all sorts of new digital instruments and plugins. On occasion, Soobin will walk in after a long day of school and the first thing he will see is Taehyun, living in his living room, eyes focused on the screen, scrolling through options. And Soobin will sit on Taehyun’s bed, watching him work, and he will count to see how long it takes Taehyun to notice Soobin is home. Sometimes it takes more than fifteen minutes, and Soobin is usually rewarded at that point with a hug and sometimes a cuddle from Taehyun. And sometimes they kiss, and sometimes the kissing gets a little heated, until Yeonjun sticks his head into the open room and makes faces at both of them and then they all can’t stop laughing.

Soobin hangs out in Taehyun’s room, but Taehyun hardly ever goes to Soobin’s room for the same. Soobin is fine with that. It means Taehyun is comfortable in his own space...not to mention Taehyun’s room is bigger regardless. So they sit and they talk and they share food and they cuddle, and Soobin waits for when Taehyun is ready for him. And Taehyun continues his therapy, and he walks to work in the morning and slowly, day by day, he makes a new life for himself between the A and the 1 trains, between the Hudson and the East Rivers, so far north that many other Manhattanites have no clue where he lives.

He takes the train once more, going downtown to Koreatown, then wandering alone through the streets and alleys. He looks in the windows, at the words he can read now but can’t understand. He shoves his hands in his pockets and he smiles at the posters in the windows, inhales the smell of  _ kimchi  _ coming from everywhere. New York is how Taehyun feels: a mix of Korean and American, learning about a new world while still leaning on the world he has always known. And Soobin is the coat he is wearing, that comfortable layer of familiarity and warmth that keeps him secure no matter what is next. 

He stops for a hot caramel drink, then wanders through the bodega, sipping on the drink before heading back out into the cold. A long line of plants sit on one wall, and Taehyun notices one in particular. It’s just a couple of sprigs coming off of a thick trunk, but it reminds him of Soobin somehow.

_ “Meow!” _

Taehyun jumps a mile, but it’s just the bodega cat, staring up at him, rubbing its face against his legs. “Oh, hello there.”

“Those are corn plants,” the person behind the cashier says. “They’re really easy to care for, but only the perfect conditions and the most patient of growers can make it blossom.”

Taehyun smiles. “It reminds me of someone I love.” And he chokes back a tear, just a bit, because he came all this way to think about what he was going to do about Soobin, and he has his answer. “I’m gonna get it for him.” And he picks it up gently, and he pays for it, and he takes it all the way home on the subway, carrying it up the stairs and pushing his way in through the front door. 

And when Soobin gets back from work, he finds the plant on his desk in his bedroom with a card that only says,  _ I’m ready now. _

On Taehyun’s 20th birthday, Soobin wakes him up early. “No, no, stay in bed, I want you comfortable,” he whispers, running a hand through Taehyun’s now-black hair. “The rest can wait. I want to do this first.”

“Hmm?” Taehyun looks absolutely adorable and sleepy, hair all askew and sleep still in his eyes. 

“It’s your birthday, silly.”   


“I know.” Taehyun giggles.

“So, I thought I could get you a cake, but I think Yeonjun is taking care of that later. I have something more important.” Soobin puts his hand on Taehyun’s shoulder, and then he gives him a gift bag. 

“Okay…” Taehyun slowly pulls out something wrapped in gift tissue, then stares in disbelief at the pink and orange color that fades through. “What is --” And he unfolds the shirt, gasping in awe at the piece of clothing in his hands. “But --” And then he turns it over, looks at it from all sides. He understands immediately that Mayumi had found the shirt and had destroyed it with the knives. There are several rip marks and spots that have been painstakingly fixed with clear thread, and there’s an entire section of shirt on one side that looks like it’s been replaced, colored a bright white that contrasts with the rest of it. 

“It’s my shirt,” Taehyun says, crying, and then he looks up and Soobin is wearing his, with the green shoulder and the blue and purple stripes. “You -- you found it.”

“I hope it’s okay. Do you want to try it on?”

“Can -- can you put it on me? Please? You’re the one that fixed it, so…” And Taehyun finds himself blushing. “Or is that too much?”

Soobin has caught Taehyun shirtless more than once in the apartment, dashing across a hallway after a shower or when the heater kicks on and it’s suddenly too warm to function. But he knows this is different. “Are you okay with that?”

“I don’t want to hurt it. You take care of things. You always take care of things.” And so, Soobin lifts Taehyun’s white t-shirt above his head, does his best not to stare, then gently places the shirt over Taehyun’s head. 

“Pull gently, okay?”

“Okay.” Taehyun sorts it out so that it fits over his frame, and then he smiles at Soobin. “We match.”

“We do. Do you remember the night we met?”

Taehyun giggles, and then, “Oh, like the song?”

“That’s our song, isn’t it? I haven’t heard it in so long. You don’t have it on your SoundCloud anymore.”

“Soobin, Mayumi did the vocals for that song.”

“Oh.” It instantaneously kills the vibe Soobin was going for, but he snaps back. “Can I sing it?”

“Huh?”

“Can I sing it. Can you, like, redo the vocals with somebody else or something? Or did Mayumi write the words, too, ugh, I can’t believe she sang our song.”

Taehyun laughs at how disgusted Soobin is. “You really like that song.”

“I really like you, Taehyun. I love you.” And Soobin presses a kiss to Taehyun’s forehead, and Taehyun finally understands  _ this is happening, right here, right now. _

“I’m not really perfect at all, you know that? I expect things a certain way, I can’t remember English sometimes, and I trip over myself. I still can’t cook, God, I’m pretty sure I almost burnt down the apartment like five times when we first moved here, gas stoves are very odd. And sometimes I wonder, what would someone like you ever see in me? Why would someone like you kiss me like you do? We kissed for the first time in these shirts.” He laughs. “I know I’m rambling, I just…”

Taehyun wants to interrupt Soobin, to just  _ hold  _ him, to tell him yes, but he is patient. Soobin has been patient with him for months, years, even. He can wait a few minutes. 

“I don’t know how to love, I don’t think,” Soobin continues. “I don’t know how to be a boyfriend. None of that stuff ever interested me as a kid, mostly because everybody expected me to find some girl and lead the way with her. But you make me want to try. And this feels so lopsided and weird sometimes, but weird in a good way. All I’ve ever wanted is to be with you, ever since I met you, Taehyun. And you told me that you’re ready, and I’m gonna have to trust your judgement, because I’ve been going,  _ no, Soobin, he’s not ready, give him space  _ for the past few months, and it’s excruciating, but it’s worth it because it’s  _ you.  _ So, um...I don’t have a ring or a fancy gift or anything like that, but…”

Taehyun  _ has  _ to speak up. “A ring?”

“Why wouldn’t I get you a ring?”

Taehyun’s eyes nearly  _ bug out  _ of his head. “Because Mayumi tried to get me into a fake engagement with her and she bought a ring and everything?”

“Oh, she did do that, didn’t she? Wait -- Taehyun, I --” Soobin laughs. “When you’re dating in Korea, it’s normal to get rings, even if you’re just dating and not married. My gosh. I am  _ so  _ sorry. Scratch that idea.” He kisses Taehyun’s forehead again. “I am so sorry.”

He laughs. “I forgive you.”

“Can you have this shirt instead?”

“Soobin, I love this shirt, I -- I’m so glad you found it. And you fixed it!” The smile on Taehyun’s face is just  _ so worth it,  _ framed by tears falling down his face. He looks at Soobin and inhales, feeling safe, feeling secure. “I love it. I love you.”

Soobin kisses Taehyun on the forehead one more time, and then he leans down, capturing his lips in his own. The gesture is simple, heartfelt, and Taehyun is still a bit sleepy but he leans into the kiss easily. 

“Are you okay with being my boyfriend?”

“Soobin, all I’ve wanted since I met you was to be your boyfriend. Did you know --” Taehyun laughs. “Did you know, that first night in the RV, after the Merm4id set, I couldn’t sleep because I kept imagining me kissing you? It was always you. So yes, I remember the night we met. But I also want to remember every night from now on. Rings or no rings.”

“Let’s stick with shirts to start with.” And they both giggle, and Soobin wraps Taehyun up in his arms, holding him close. They stay like that for a long time, eventually flopping back onto Taehyun’s bed, dozing off until Yeonjun storms in with presents and cake. And then Yeonjun wakes the  _ entire apartment building  _ when he finds out the good news. They enjoy the day, Soobin leaving for class for a bit and then returning with take-out, and all three of them watch a movie on Taehyun’s superpowered computer setup.

And when Yeonjun goes to bed, Taehyun tugs on Soobin’s shirt. “Can you sleep next to me? Like we did at NeoNara?”

“Of course,” Soobin says, and they change into sleep wear. Then, Soobin curls into bed next to Taehyun, they shut off the lights, and then they both smile. The steps they have taken have brought them this far, together and apart and back together again. And though the long healing has not been finished yet, they are at a point where they can start walking hand in hand, one step in front of the other, trying to see what it truly means to build a life together. 

And in any other story, this would be a perfect, happy ending.

What neither of them know is that the journey is just beginning.


End file.
